


Camp Nyx

by previouslysane



Series: Children of Dark Spaces [2]
Category: Percy Jackson and the Olympians & Related Fandoms - All Media Types
Genre: Gen, M/M, Multi, there are lots of OCs but give it a chance bruh
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-03-12
Updated: 2014-08-22
Packaged: 2018-01-15 11:56:47
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence, Major Character Death
Chapters: 25
Words: 103,015
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/1304008
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/previouslysane/pseuds/previouslysane
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Nico's worst nightmare came to fruition only months ago. His haunting experiences in Tartarus came back for revenge, and he had barely escaped with his soul. Just when life couldn't get more difficult, a strange girl shows up at Camp Half-Blood and takes Nico away, claiming that she's from a secret camp for demigods with Underworld parents. If that wasn't enough, a rival band of Underworld demigods, more deadly and ruthless, has broken off and formed their own camp. They worship Tartarus's monsters and want to be exactly like the creature that attacked Nico and his friends. According to Nyx, Nico is supposed to be the only one capable of stopping them and bringing peace. How can Nico save others when he is so fragile himself? How can he be sure that he can trust these strangers? Will he be able to face the monster that challenged him and have the strength to survive the land he fears most? Featuring shirtless children of Eros, a 400 year old son of Thanatos that loves Animal Crossing, and a tale as old as the gods themselves.</p><p>Written pre Blood of Olympus.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> Hello, welcome to Camp Nyx! Be warned, while most of these characters are OCs, none of this is self-insert or fluff. I had this concept that children of gods of the Underworld smelled a bit sulfury so they were mistaken for monsters of Tartarus. Eventually, over time, they banded together under common interest. I've been working on this story for a very long time and the one before it, Survivor's Guilt was more of a prequel to it. Nico's experiences in Tartarus and meeting with Succubus are very, very important to this story, so you won't really be able to read this one without reading the previous one. 
> 
> Also! I know that I've warned for character death, but this can be a main character as easily as it can be an original character. Don't be out off by it, is what I'm trying to say.
> 
> Thank you, I hope you enjoy my story and please let me know what you think!

Nico di Angelo had been through a lot in his life. In just the past few months he forged strong friendships with people he had once considered merely acquaintances. Leo, Percy, and especially the son of Jupiter, Jason Grace, nestled into his heart before he had realized they were settled there. Nico tentatively opened up his past to Jason, specifically the horrors of his experiences in Tartarus, and through this trust he began to show more of his personality to the people around him. Every single one of the seven of the prophecy risked their lives— and in certain cases, their souls— to make sure that Nico wasn't taken by the demon called Succubus. Succubus, a thief of men's souls through sex, had posed as Percy Jackson and patiently seduced Nico into her bed. Nico would certainly have died had the Seven not been there to fight back the monster. Jason used his own soul to distract Succubus and give Hazel and Piper just the few seconds necessary to save Nico. The sacrifice had nearly cost him his mind. Just as everyone was about to give up on Jason's insanity, a curious and mysterious girl called Nieva showed up claiming to be the daughter of Mania. She cured Jason, and told Nico that she was sent there by Nyx herself to take Nico to a camp specifically for the children of the Underworld gods and goddesses. Nico had no choice to obey, even if he was abandoning those he now considered his friends.

 

So when Nico thought he could anticipate just about everything, he felt he had the grounds to feel that way. But Nico had not yet met Adder Jones.

 

When Nico disappeared from Half-Blood Hill into the dark and breezy night, he expected the girl to be leading him into a trap. He expected to be in the boiling terrains of Tartarus. He expected to get up and close with Nyx, the goddess of the night herself. What Nico didn't expect was an enthusiastic welcome by a constantly fading seven-year-old boy.

 

Nieva and Nico appeared a few feet outside the border of an obvious campsite. There were trees surrounding a great clearing where a large cabin, twice the size of the Big House at Camp Half-Blood, sat flickering feebly with muted candlelight. The night was not quiet, though. Nico could hear the clashing of swords and the laughter of kids to the side of the great cabin, even though there were no lights to illuminate the side yard. Before Nico and Nieva could take a step, their paths were blocked by an Asian girl with a hellhound. Her eyes glinted like stars, her face serious as she pointed a spear at Nico's chest.

 

"State your business." she hissed. Nico froze, his eyes darting from Nieva to the girl before him. Nieva stepped in front of Nico, and the girls eyebrows raised in surprise, as though she hadn't even seen Nieva.

 

"Hey, Makoto," Nieva smiled. The girl called Makoto lowered her spear and smiled. She was tall, taller than Nico or Nieva. She patted the hellhound gently. The dog hadn't taken interest in either of the new arrivals, even though its master seemed to get up in arms. It looked to Nico like it was still just a puppy.

 

"Nieva, don't scare me like that," Makoto said, chuckling. "I almost gutted your boy here."

 

"Yeah..." Nico said, still eyeing the spear nervously. "No gutting, please."

 

"Makoto, this is Nico. Though, I suppose that proper introductions will come later—"

 

A gasp that could've potentially filled three pairs of lungs emanated from the surrounding darkness. Nico's hand twitched towards his sword, but he was still very aware of Makoto's spear. She wasn't as surprised by the sound, however, and let her spear hang limply by her side. She actually rolled her eyes.

"Is it true? Is this Nico di Angelo?" An excited voice said. Nico couldn't place the voice, and Makoto sighed,

"Adder, we can't see you."

"Nieva, you didn't tell me that you were going to get Nico di Angelo, that's not fair, I would've wanted to go!"

The voice seemed to be coming from everywhere, though juvenile and excited, Nico still didn't know what to make of it.

"I didn't tell you because you would've wanted to go," Nieva said, rolling her eyes. "We can't _see_ you Adder!"

"What? Oh!" He suddenly popped into being before Nico, causing Nico to jump back a few steps. The boy was smiling widely, displaying his missing three teeth, where their adult replacements made their way in, bumpy and new. His eyes were bright, though hidden a little by the thin dreadlocks hanging around his ears. He was dark, his black skin shone in the moonlight. He was smiling at Nico as though Nico was the greatest thing his large, round eyes had ever seen.

"Uh... you know who I am?" Nico asked.

"Duh! You're Nico di Angelo! You're the Ghost King! You fought in the battle of Manhattan! You made it so that Lord Hades was a hero! You shadow traveled the _Athena Parthenos_ back from Greece _by yourself_! You're practically the greatest Underworld kid that's ever been!" Adder faded in and out of focus while he spoke excitedly. He seemed to be struggling keeping his attention on being visible.

"I'm... I'm not that great—"

"Yeah you are!" Adder insisted, grabbing Nico's hands. Nico was bewildered. This boy knew so much about him. If Nico was half as sure about himself as Adder was, he'd have enough self-confidence to do anything that he wanted.

"Adder, we have to go see Matthaius." Nieva chuckled, swatting the boy away. "If you want to bug him, then you've got to do it while walking."

"I've got to stay at my post unlike _some_ irresponsible boys," Makoto said, rubbing the neck of the little hellhound. The hellhound wagged its tail and nudged his head against Makoto's leg. Nieva led Nico past the line of trees into the clearing. Nico could see some kids fighting in the darkness with swords and spears. They were being directed by a boy of about nineteen with very straight caramel hair pulled into a little ponytail at the base of his neck. Past him was a younger boy speaking before a group of several other kids, talking about something Nico couldn't make out. His hair was very curly and it was a deep brown, nearly black.

"Come on, we can talk to them later," Nieva grumbled, rolling her eyes. Nico didn't even realize that he'd been slowing his pace to watch the campers fighting each other and being lectured. He picked up his pace, embarrassed.

"Is it true that— that, that when you were in the Ancient Lands that you, that you saw a Giant and punched it in the face? Is that true, Nico? I can't believe you did something like that!"

"Adder? It's Adder, right?" The boy nodded enthusiastically, his dreadlocks bouncing. "I never punched a Giant in the face." Nico said, chuckling a little bit. Adder's expression of genuine excitement didn't dim in the least bit.

"But I think if you had the opportunity, you totally would though!"

Nico snorted. "That's more Percy's territory. I'm a little more behind the scenes."

"That's the _point_!" Adder said, running around and stopping Nico in his tracks. Whatever he had to say felt really important to him. Nieva sighed, crossing her arms. Nieva was generally a very precise person, but she seemed to make some allowances when it came to Adder. "You're a child of the Underworld like us! And— and you do child of the Underworld stuff like call up skeletons and be in the, the behind the scenes! But you're still the hero! You're not the bad guy, and everyone knows that you're the hero, that you did hero stuff!" His little fists balled up and his eyes shone with adoration. "They didn't hurt you first! They didn't just kill you, they talked to you first and saw your skeletons and didn't kill you! You're a hero!"

Nico laughed a little awkwardly, worried about what he was insinuating.

"I did have to prove myself, though. I wasn't trusted right away, you know." Nico said. Adder nodded vigorously, his little dreadlocks bouncing back and forth.

"Oh, yeah, I know. But they _let_ you convince them. That's so great! That's so— that's so _cool._ "

"Okay, now this cool kid has to go meet Matthaius," Nieva said, pulling Nico by the crook of his elbow. "Go on to Lysander, or back to Makoto and protecting the borders."

Adder frowned. "Nieva, do I have to? Can't I see Matthaius with him?"

"Absolutely not, this is director business, Adder. You can see him later tonight, if we're finished by teatime."

"Okay!" Adder said. He pulled Nico in and hugged him very quickly. Nico patted Adder awkwardly on the head, not used to the attention, but very appreciative of it. Adder scampered away back down the path and around towards the sword fighting before he quite literally melted into the dark. Nico looked over at Nieva and she was smiling.

"What?" Nico asked as she turned and began walking up the wide wooden staircases.

"Adder didn't say a word for three months when he first came here three years ago." Nieva opened the door and entered a long hallway with closed doors on either side. "We'd lose him every few weeks. Only his brother was able to find him."

"Adder is a son of Erebus." It wasn't a question. Adder disappeared into the darkness as easily as though it were a part of him, so it had to be. Though Nico could scarcely believe that Erebus, the god of Darkness, was able to find any mortal brave enough to encounter him. Nico met the god of Darkness once, in the Mansion of Night. Nyx introduced Nico to her husband, and the only reason he didn't kill Nico immediately was because he pitied Nico. And a mortal _procreated_ with that terrifying god.

"There are six children of Erebus here at Camp Nyx. Adder's basically their leader even if he isn’t the oldest." They reached the end of the hallway and it opened up into a high-ceilinged, circular mess hall with a beautiful, ornate hearth in the center. The firepit's grilles were so intricate that they were made to look like lace. The stone pillar that rose to the domed ceiling was covered in quartz and onyx. Nico could imagine the goddess Hestia sitting by the side of this fire and warming herself happily. It was a truly beautiful thing. To Nico's right, there were large screen doors that led to a field. The doors faced west, so they could appreciate the sunset every night. To the left was a door that probably led to the kitchen and another door behind which Nico sensed something serious and deep lingered. He couldn't believe he didn't notice it before. Perhaps it was the beauty of the room distracting him.

"Uh..." Nico said, staring nervously at the door. "I think something's wrong—"

"Nieva!" A voice called from across the room. A girl— no, no a boy in a dress? But, no. No a girl. Nico honestly couldn't make up his mind what the gender of the person approaching Nieva was.

"Sera!" Nieva said. "I thought you were supposed to be visiting your mom?"

"Oh, I got back yesterday. The puppies missed me." The person called Sera shrugged their shoulders, smiling a stunning smile. Nico knew that whatever gender this person was, they were attractive. Transgender? Was this a transgender girl? But Sera looked like they wanted to be a man also, their legs and underarms had considerable amounts of hair—

"Is this who you left to find?" Sera said, facing Nico. Nico realized that his mouth was open and he snapped it shut immediately, turning his eyes down, embarrassed.

"That's him." Nieva said this as though Nico left his most important parts somewhere that she couldn't get to.

"Hello, I'm Seraphim Johnson, I'm a child of Cupid." They offered a hand to Nico and Nico tentatively took it. Their handshake was strong, a male? God, Nico hated himself every time he tried to figure out the gender of the attractive person before them.

"I'm Nico di Angelo, I'm a son of Hades." Nico replied. He looked back up into their smiling face. It was genuinely attractive. They had long brown hair that reminded Nico of small, delicate mice. It was curling feebly around their slender shoulders. They had wide, round eyes that furthered Nico's mouse comparison, though their jaw was square. Their cheeks were dimpled, their lips were full, and their smile filled Nico with a calming warmth. He decided that he didn't care what Sera's gender was. They were nice.

"It's very nice to meet you, Nico, son of Hades. I hope _you_ can figure out why Nyx sent for you." Sera said.

"Wait, you don't know?" Nico frowned.

"Oops, maybe I shouldn't have said anything." Sera covered their mouth, chuckling. It was adorable.

"Not yet. We haven't even met Matthaius." Nieva said. "Besides, after he's briefed, you can ask any questions you want tonight."

"Oh, there's a meeting tonight?" Sera asked. Nico wasn't even listening very hard as Nieva responded. He probably should've been a little more invested in the conversation that involved him, but Seraphim was just so lovely that Nico wanted to hear them talk more about anything. Their genderlessness was so appealing and their gentle way of speech was so soft. Nico could be in love with them. No, snap out of it.

"Oh, look at him!" Sera said, grabbing Nico's hands. "Wow, you're adorable. It didn't take him too long, actually."

"Huh." Nieva said, shrugging one shoulder passively. "That's actually surprising."

"Oh, ye of little faith," Seraphim scolded. They turned their eyes onto Nico. Nico looked them in the eye, realizing with a jolt that they were the most interesting hazel, not quite green, and yet not quite brown. "I'm agender, Nico."

"I'm sorry? You're... you're a gender?"

"No, not _a_ gender. Agender. It means that I don't abide by one side of the gender binary. Nonbinary is another term that I use. So you can't tell what my birth designation is."

"I'm..." Nico said, shaking his head. "I'm sorry if I made you uncomfortable—"

"It's okay, it's okay." Sera said, patting Nico's hand. "You were very polite about it, and you didn't even stare for too long."

"Could you read my mind?"

"Just your face." Seraphim said. "I get it everywhere. It's okay though, I'm used to it. It doesn't bother me as much as it used to, not when I realize that it's part of human nature, to categorize and place people into slots. The people that I love are the people who create a new slot instead of trying to cram me into ones that they already know." Sera smiled.

"Oh," Nico said eloquently. He sighed. He wasn't making quite the impression he'd expected he would. He'd been chattered to death by a little boy that seemed to think he was greater than he was, he'd been poked in the chest by a girl with supernova eyes, and here he was being excused for rude behavior. Nieva wasn't doing him any favors either. He felt awful. "Look, I'm really sorry, that was rude of me—"

"No, don't apologize at all, it's alright!" Sera said. "I'm keeping you from seeing Matthaius, and that'll take a bit to explain everything. I'll see you tonight!" Sera kissed Nico on each cheek, Nico pressing his fingers to each kiss mark. Sera walked away, back towards were Nieva and Nico had come. Nico stared after them before that warm feeling of Sera's presence left the room. Nico began to feel sick, his head throbbing. The room in the back corner wasn't helping Nico any.

"Yeah, Sera's a real sweetheart. They're wicked at fighting with a dagger though, and they can shit talk like a pro." Nieva looked over at Nico who wasn't listening and grasping his head. Nieva sighed and pressed a finger to Nico's temple. Nico felt the panic drain from him.

"I'm sorry, I don't— it's that room and, maybe Sera?"

"Sera _does_ have some of the same aura as that demon." Nieva said.

"Succubus?"

Nieva looked around sharply. "Don't say that here." Nico's eyebrows raised. Nieva sighed, pulling the crook of his elbow for the second time. Nico hoped that she wasn't heading where he thought she was heading. The door in the far corner of the room on the other side of the kitchens was radiating death so strongly that Nico was certain that Nieva would die the instant she placed her hand on the doorknob.

"Nieva, I don't think—"

"What?" Nieva said sharply.

"That door, there's something bad in that room, I can sense it."

Nieva looked back at the door, her eyes scanning it. She looked back at Nico. "It looks normal to me. Come on."

"I _really_ don't think—"

Nieva knocked on the black door and Nico could hear it echo uncomfortably through the room and even through himself. At least Nieva hadn't died yet.

"Yes?" the voice was terrifying for being so soft.

"Matthaius, I've brought him."

Oh god, _this_ was Matthaius? Nico felt him moving slowly within the room, even though he didn't make a single noise. He was unearthly quiet. He opened the door. It too opened without so much as a creak, but the way it swung suggested that it was very heavy.

The man before Nico couldn't have been older than 25 or so, but the way he moved and the blank expression on his face made it seem as though another, more ancient soul had been caught in this young body. His hair was black as pitch, his face was white as milk, his eyes glinting like the obsidian Nico came to know very well in Tartarus. Despite all of his terrifying air and his unearthly way of moving, he was unmistakably attractive. He was thin, had no muscles to show, but Nico wouldn't doubt that he could snap Nico in half with the right burst of adrenaline. He was tall, effortlessly handsome, and he radiated death in waves.

"Ah." he said with a soft voice that sent shivers up Nico's spine. "You're the one, then."

"There was another... another child of Hades there... but she was of Pluto. I hope that I brought the right one."

"There can be no doubt." Matthaius said, staring unblinkingly at Nico. Nico wanted to sink into the ground just to get away from the man's stare. He stepped aside. "Come in."

Nico was frozen to the spot, but he tried his best to move his feet. Nieva nudged him and Nico finally took a few tentative steps forward. Nieva may not be able to feel the chilling way that Matthaius's heartbeat was nonexistent, or how he didn't seem to need to breathe. The room was dark, covered in velvets and flickering with green flames. It looked exactly like Nico would’ve expected it to look, except for the television in the corner with a couch facing it. It was paused in the middle of a video game that Nico didn’t know, and Nico finally found it in him to smile. This terrifying death person was playing video games?

Nieva sat at the table across from the perfectly-made bed and Nico sat next to her.

“Well,”Matthaius said as he approached in the dim lighting, folding his hands on the table as he sat down opposite of the two of them. “I suppose that you have questions about who I am and where you are.”

No kidding. He wanted to know _what_ Matthaius was, he wanted to know why Adder assumed other demigods would hurt him, he wanted to know why Camp Nyx had been a secret, he wanted to know so many things, but the first thing that came out of his mouth when he opened it was,

“You play video games?”

Matthaius’s lips split into a smile. It wasn’t as terrifying as Nico imagined it would be. He seemed quite amused, but he definitely loosened up.

“All kinds of video games. I adore them.” Matthaius turned around, looking at the paused television. “I play them on handhelds, consoles, PCs, I’m really looking forward to the next couple decades of their advancements. Do you play video games?”

“Not at all,” Nico said, shaking his head. He hadn't missed the 'next decades' bit just thrown in. “It may be a little beyond my level of understanding. I’m still kind of old-school. I guess I can’t help it.”

“I, too, am old school when it comes to certain things.” Matthaius nodded understandably. He waved his hand at the television and it turned off. “I am not able to help it either.” His smile was amused.

“Who are you? _What_ are you?”

Matthaius’s smile didn’t waver, but he blinked for the first time. It calmed Nico a lot. Blinking was something that he attributed to trustful people.

“What do you _think_ I am?”

That’s not fair, responding to a question with another question. Nico shrugged.

“I thought you... must be some sort of zombie or something, but that’s not right.”

Matthaius laughed. “I’m a son of Thanatos. I’m the lead director of this Camp.”

Oh right! Nieva had told him about the camp director of Camp Nyx being a son of Thanatos. He thought it was just a joke at first. Thanatos was the god of death, it was impossible to think that he would create life. Matthaius began to speak again.

“I’m going to start with my personal history and then lead into the history of this camp. They’re both intertwined.”

“And Succubus?” Nico was unable to stop himself. Nieva turned her head sharply at him, but Nico didn’t care. He wanted to know what he could do to stop her for good.

“She definitely finds her way into my story, son of Hades, don’t worry.”

Nico sighed, glanced at Nieva who was looking at him like he was an idiot, then turned back to Matthaius.

“I won’t interrupt then.”

“Thank you.” Matthaius said, standing. He leaned on the back of his chair and took his first visible breath, a sigh. “Thanatos, the god of Death, my father, often comes down to earth and makes love to suicidal mortals. He can’t seem to resist their desires of death. These men and women often take their own lives soon after he lays with them, so pregnancy isn’t entirely expected. If one does get pregnant, the baby is stillborn, the mother dies of blood loss. There is no situation where either the mother nor the child survive the pregnancy. Except, of course, for one. My mother was a demigod, a daughter of Melinoe, the goddess of ghosts. Her father—my grandfather— was a demigod as well, a son of Apollo. The line on my mortal side was strong, and because of this, my mother was able to survive most of her pregnancy. When she felt that she may die, she used her mother’s powers of ghosts to shift into a half-living state. She passed by my father unnoticed and carried me to a full-term. She died in childbirth, and I was brought into the world. I was alive for twelve minutes, and then I died.”

Matthaius sighed again and began pacing the room. Nico couldn’t watch him, he just listened.

“Thanatos, so impressed by my mother’s will to ensure her child’s life, brought me back to life. But Thanatos isn’t the god of life, he brought me back the only way he knew. I cannot die, but I am not, by standard terms, ‘immortal’. I am what I consider ‘submortal’ which is neither alive, nor able to die. It’s not awful at all. I’m able to eat and sleep, my body functions regularly, with the exception of my lack of heartbeat, as I’m sure you’ve noticed.

“Thanatos raised me himself, teaching me about death and life, ghosts and mortals. He taught me about the gods, though I never met any Olympians besides Lord Hades. Thanatos would reap souls before me, allow me to capture them to be brought to judgment. The worst was on the battlefields. Being a little child, and yes, I was a little child, I never wanted to see something as terrible as warfare, even though death reigned supreme. My father didn’t like them either, though he’ll never admit it.

“By the time I had matured, reached my current physical form, I had mastered my powers and was sent from the underworld by my father. He insisted that I live among the mortals. I didn’t want to, but I couldn’t disobey my father. I made myself a home in the Spanish countryside, for Spain was the main power in the west at the time. I made certain that I had an easy access to return to the Underworld. I didn’t see the mortal world as my home, I hadn’t grown up here. I was in contact with several of the minor gods of the Underworld: Nyx, Erebus, Mania, Phobos, Melinoe, Eros, Hypnos, just to name a few. They are much more willing to speak to a demigod, especially demigods who show them praise. There aren’t many demigods who paid them attention in the first place, so they gave appreciation to all those who worshipped them.

“The Spanish Inquisition wasn't only the persecution of the Jews and Muslims, Roman and Greek demigods considered any children of the Underworld even worse than monsters of Tartarus. The younger the head they brought to the Roman officers, the more gold they made. Even without the gold, it was considered a 'moral duty' to rid the world of children of the Underworld. The world was a bloody and violent place at the time, and I had tried my best to ignore it, because I didn't think I could change it. I was blessedly wrong.

"It was Nyx who first asked me to take in one of her children. She was a skinny little thing with a Jewish mortal parent. Thanatos was the minority in taking in his offspring and rearing them himself. Nyx couldn’t care for a mortal demigod child. The other Camps obviously saw her as a devil. I took her daughter into my home. When news got around that I kept a demigod child safe, the gods and goddesses saw me as some sort of safe haven. None of them liked seeing their children slaughtered and persecuted, even if some of them liked the overall concept of slaughter and persecution. Gods and goddesses lined up in my dreams, telling me the locations of their children. You can guess the types of people that would make love to gods and goddesses of Fear and Ghosts and Darkness. These people were strange, often mentally ill. Too many of them were in no place to take care of a child, especially a demigod child. I took them in. I took them all in.

“When the power of the West came to America, I set up a place by Los Angeles. America had not established its power in the West until the late 1800s. Los Angeles was small, but it was still the city at the mouth of the Underworld. I liked being close to the Underworld. It made me feel as though we had an escape route, should we ever need one. Both camps, Camp Half-Blood and Camp Jupiter were completely established. I was sent a list at the end of every year of all the children they had remembered or discovered. Some of them were fifteen, some of them were newborn, but all of them had incredible potential for power. Sometimes Camp Half-Blood’s Satyrs or Lupa would stumble upon one of my children and take them into their camps, shoved into the Hermes cabin or put them on the outskirts of New Rome. Though they were no longer being skinned, they were considered bad luck everywhere they went. Then the unthinkable happened, fifty years ago.

“We were living peacefully in Camp. I was teaching them to use their powers, to disguise themselves with Death Mist, to tame hellhounds. A legion from Camp Jupiter saw us practicing and was terrified. He ran back to New Rome and claimed that we were a camp of monsters and we were so close to Camp Jupiter because we were planning to attack the Camp. That was of course, utter bullshit.” Matthaius’s voice turned hard. Nico looked up in the pause and pursed his lips. He knew what was going to happen. He didn’t want to hear Matthaius relive it. He knew Camp Jupiter’s power, and under the wrong leadership...

“We were destroyed. None of the children had skill in practical battle, I wanted them to be safe from the mortal world and possible monsters. I had never expected that fellow demigods would attack our Camp. We were absolutely slaughtered that day. They fought back as hard as they could, but they were outnumbered and outwitted. I whisked away the younger ones under cover of night and we came here. Since then, the Underworld gods and goddesses have made a pact to have as few children as possible. Our numbers have been quite small since the attack, but I’ve been training them in battle. I don’t teach them that the other demigods are the enemy, just that they don’t understand who we are. Unfortunately, despite my attempts at nonaggression, they still see demigods of major gods as the enemy.”

Nico couldn’t blame them. The thought of all of those kids destroyed because of a misunderstanding that refused to be cleared up... the idea that someone would point a sword at a defenseless Adder made Nico sick to his stomach. Matthaius continued speaking.

“Because of this aggression... a few of our numbers... have broken off twenty years ago to form a separate quasi-camp. This is known as the Cult of Succubus.”

Nico’s head flew up to meet Matthaius’s dead, glistening eyes. Nico couldn’t detect any ounce of emotion, his own heart beating double time to make up for Matthaius's lack of pulse. Nico didn’t trust himself to speak.

“The Cult is a band of thirty or so people who have decided to attempt to follow in the path of Succubus. Succubus, as you know, is a demon that steals men’s souls through sex. The rumor is that Succubus began as a mortal demigod in medieval times, and she learned how to turn herself into an immortal monster of Tartarus. She does not die like an ordinary monster of Tartarus, she does not stem from any Greek or Roman origins, and she has admitted to being a daughter of Eros. The Cult assumes that she discovered the secret of immortality, and they will do anything to follow in her footsteps. Mainly, they perform dark magic on nearby mortals, they tamper with their bodies and their souls in possibly permanent ways. They despise any demigod that is not an Underworld demigod, and they consider me soft for wanting to integrate into mortal society. Their current leader is a boy called Damien, and he is a son of Erebus. He’s only just recently been appointed as leader. Their previous leader, a girl called Isabel, went on a quest with two others to find the Books of Rebirth two years ago. These books are believed to have detailed instructions on Succubus’s process into becoming a monster. None of the three have been heard from since. These books have never been found and may not even exist. I've been alive for quite a long time and haven't met Succubus, though I've heard several stories. I was mistaken to mention the Books to the first members of the Cult. It's been an obsession of theirs since their inception.”

Matthaius stopped pacing, sat back down in his chair, blinked slowly while composing himself, and looked back up again at Nico.

“Do you have any questions?”

Nico had no idea where to begin. He didn’t have _any_ questions. He was filled with too much new information. Basically, there was a secret group of underworld kids that was secret because they’re outcast. Part of this group broke off and worships the demon that brutally raped Nico. They don’t worship her, they _emulate_ her. They want to do what she does to people, just so they could be immortal. Nico clutched his stomach, his eyes blurring. He felt sick with knowledge. He wished he didn’t have to know all of this.

“I have a question,” Nieva said. Her voice was strong, or maybe Nico had gotten used to Matthaius’s soft tones that her confident voice sounded harsh to his ears. “What do we need him for?”

Nico's realization trickled in with her question. What that story lacked was an obvious conflict that could be solved with a single person. The problems that Matthaius spoke about sounded complicated, thick with politics. It wasn't as easy as 'find the bad guy and stop him at all costs' as it usually was with Percy. The bad guys were kids his age, kids who didn't understand each other. Nico was no good with words. He wouldn't be able to settle years of conflict. What was Nico here for anyway? Why did Nyx uproot him and place him in the middle of this mess? He had no idea how he could help.

“I’m not sure.” Matthaius admitted. “But I trust Mother Night. She told you to go to Camp Half-Blood and to find the child of Hades in the bed and fix him. She said that we will need the child. I listen to her. She has never steered me wrong before.”

“There’s a first time for everything,” Nico said, half smiling. Matthaius’s serious face relaxed into amusement.

“That’s true, but you don’t seem useless to me, Nico di Angelo. In Spain and in Los Angeles, several of Hades’s children lived with me. They were considered hefty prizes in Spain especially. To think of children of Hades or Pluto living and working side-by-side with children of Zeus and Neptune is incredible. It’s a step in the direction of peace. We may be able to—excuse the terrible metaphor— come out of the shadows. Your acts during the second Titan war have validated Lord Hades to the Olympians, a _huge_ step towards peace. Because you’re a son of Hades, you’re a son of an Olympian. But because you’re the son of Hades, you’re also a child of the Underworld. We can certainly use you. Maybe over years we can come to a conclusion to these years of hiding.”

Nico didn’t want to be some sort of lynchpin. Yeah, he was friends with a few people from Camp Half-Blood, but would that friendship be strong enough to end years of suffering in silence? Matthaius couldn’t really expect Nico to be trusted on his word. He’d struggled to earn trust with the both Camps, there’d be no way he’d be able to introduce them to the kids of the Underworld peacefully. There would be tension right away. Even if the tension could be eased...

“The Cult,” Nico muttered. “There’s no way I could convince the Camps that you guys are harmless when the Cult is out there mutilating mortals and practicing dark magic.”

Nieva nodded. “We know. That’s why we want to know why we found you _now._ Do you have any idea?”

Nico had absolutely no clue why he was here. He couldn’t think of any idea to reconcile the problem presented. He sighed. If he was Annabeth, he’d have the answer spread out in front of him and amaze Matthaius and Nieva with its brilliance. Instead, they watched him silently, expectantly, and Nico was forced to let them down.

“I really don’t know why I was brought here. All I did was survive Succubus again. That’s all I did.”

Nieva sighed, not even masking her disappointment. She raised an eyebrow at Matthaius as if to say, ‘I told you so.’ Matthaius didn’t say anything or make a show of any emotion. He shrugged.

“The truth will be revealed at its own time. Until then, go have a meeting with the directors, it’s nearly midnight. I'll meet you there in a few minutes.”

Nieva stood and Nico stood immediately after. She bowed her head and Nico copied her action. The two walked out of the velvety room into the dazzling light of the dining hall. Just before he closed the door, Nico heard the hum of a television and the tinny noises of a video game being resumed.

* * *

 

The dining hall was buzzing with activity when Nico and Nieva stepped into it. Campers of all ages scuttled back and forth. To Nico’s right, where they had come in, kids were lining up at the kitchen window to get hot chocolates and tea. They were chatting happily among themselves, and Nico couldn’t help but to smile as well. The kid who was overseeing others sparring smiled at Nieva and approached them. He was shirtless, muscular, and tanned. His chest was littered in scars, two of the most prominent running along his ribcage on either side of him.

“How’d it go?” He asked, his hair out of its short ponytail and falling very straight around his chin.

“Matthaius just told him everything.” Nieva said, jerking her head.

“Him has a name, you know.” Nico said. He was becoming annoyed with Nieva and her lack of faith. Nico was used to feeling sorry for himself, and he could deal with people's false hope, but this obvious crappy treatment was something he could not stand.

“Save introductions for the meeting at midnight.” Nieva said. “Now, shoo!” She pushed the boy away. He laughed and took her advice, but not before tussling her hair. She scowled and tried to fix it.

“Wait, didn’t we leave from Camp Half-Blood at midnight?”

“Time zones, you idiot.” Nieva said, not even looking at him. Nico glared at the back of her head, feeling like the longer that he stayed in her presence, the more she became irritated. Nico felt someone sneak up behind him and whipped around just before the curly-haired boy slipped his hands over Nico’s eyes. He chuckled, and put his finger to his lips, pointing at Nieva.

“She doesn’t want us to introduce ourselves, but fuck her,” he whispered, smiling. His face was beautiful, Nico couldn’t stop looking at it. If he was aware of how beautiful he was, he didn't show it. He was just a little taller than Nico, his dark curly hair was peppered with red in the light. Nico remembered seeing him when he first walked in. He was much more stunning up close. It was a much more natural beauty than Matthaius’s. Matthaius seemed like a walking piece of renaissance art, untouchable, revered, and absolutely horrifying in dim lighting. The boy before him with bouncy hair and twinkling eyes looked like a male model.

“I’m Reilly,” the boy said, holding his hand out to shake. Nico took it.

“Nico,” Nico said. “Is she like this with everyone or does she just not like me?”

Reilly rolled his eyes. “She’s like this with anyone she spends too much time with. You’ve been with her for... what three days?”

“I barely saw her for those three days,” Nico protested. “I think she’s disappointed that I don’t know why I’m here.”

“Wait, you don’t know why you’re here?” Reilly asked, his perfect skin creasing into a frown. Nico flushed, wishing he hadn’t said anything at all. Maybe Nieva was right. Maybe he should’ve waited for the meeting to introduce himself.

“Wait, no, don’t look that way, that’s cool.” Reilly said, ducking under to catch Nico’s eyes. “We’ll all figure it out. I mean, we’re not in dire need for help right now anyway.”

Nico nodded wordlessly. He wanted to melt into a pool of Nico sludge and be whisked away by dirty mop water. He felt so embarrassed and useless— these people expected him to be greater than he was, and he continued to disappoint them.

“Reilly!” Nieva had turned around. Reilly flinched, but opened his arms wide.

“Nieva! Oh, how I’ve missed you, darling!”

“Don’t you sleep with him!” Nieva demanded. Nico went from pink to red in his embarrassment. God, they were just talking!

“There’s no rule against that. And why are you suddenly worried about him? Could it be your motherly concern for this poor boy? Sounds to me like you just want to take control of the situation.”

“I was put in control of this situation when I was sent to get him!” Nieva said, stepping towards Reilly. Reilly smiled easily, looking down his nose at her.

“Come on, Nieva, he’s not your property.”

Nico absolutely _despised_ being talked about as though he wasn’t standing right there. He stepped forward and said,

“Look. Nieva, you aren’t in control of me. Reilly, I’m not going to s-sleep with you! Can everyone just calm down? When is this stupid meeting happening so I can get to sleep? I’ve been up since sunrise.” Nico had been trying very, _very_ hard not to remember the beginning of the day. He had his first kiss with Jason Grace as the sun rose over Camp Half-Blood. It felt like several days ago since that comfortable spot in Jason’s arms, though it had only been a few hours.

“Fine.” Nieva grumbled. “I’ll call everyone. Reilly, go wake up Laura. Nico you _stay here._ Don’t let him get you into trouble.” Nieva turned and left, her braids whipping behind her irritably. Nico sighed.

“Right. I’m coming with you.” Nico said, turning to Reilly. Reilly laughed and patted Nico’s shoulder.

“You’re gonna get along just fine here.” Reilly lifted his hand from Nico’s shoulder and walked back down the hallway Nico and Nieva first walked through. “Sorry about the touching by the way, it was an accident. I’m kind of a touchy person, will that bother you?”

“Oh... um,” it was the first time Nico had been actually asked if he liked being touched in a casual way. He _hated_ being touched _._ No one ever seemed to take him seriously and did as they wished anyway. “I actually really don’t like being touched... I’m really particular with who I let touch me.”

“That’s cool. Eurydice is the same way.” Reilly said, shrugging. “Guess it’s just the Eros in me that’s so touchy-feely.”

“Eros?” Nico said as Reilly knocked on one of the several plain doors lining the wooden hallways. Kids scampered past in their pajamas, chasing each other down the halls.

“Mhm. Son of Eros, your most humble servant, Nico di Angelo.” He bowed elegantly, looking up at Nico. So that’s what it was. Nico was sexually attracted to Reilly. This realization only made Nico retreat further into himself. A small girl with sloppy pigtails answered the door, her eyes half-lidded, yawning.

“Hello, Reilly,” she said slowly. “What’s up?”

“We’re having a meeting and we need Laura. Could you wake her please?”

“M’kay,” She said, stretching her arms above her head. Nico and Reilly followed her into the bedroom. There were two bunkbeds set up next to each other. Three of them were highly personalized and one was empty. A lump underneath some comforters was breathing slowly and deeply. Nico recognized this sort of stasis, he’d visited Clovis in the Hypnos cabin before. The little girl, instead of going to shake the lump, collapsed into her own bed instead, curling up beneath her blankets. Nico frowned at Reilly, but he didn’t seem concerned by this.

“Watch, it’s so cool.”

Nico watched. Once the little girl had fallen completely asleep, the lump on the bottom bunk to the left began to stir, sitting up in bed.

“Ah,” She said happily. She pointed slowly at Nico. “Is the meeting for him?” Her voice was deep, her eyes were heavily lidded.

“Yeah. Pretend you didn’t see him. Nieva’s on a warpath.”

“Nieva’s wars are about tea strainers and formalities.” The girl said, rocking herself to her feet. She was heavy, her stretch marked stomach peeked out as she reached her hands over her head in an impressive full-body yawn. She scratched her head sleepily and grabbed her robe.

“How long is this meeting?”

“Matthaius told him everything about the Camp already so mainly it’s just an introductory thing.”

“Great.” She grumbled, sliding on slippers. “I was in the middle of a lesson, you know.”

“Lesson?” Nico asked. He couldn’t help himself. She looked more like she was in the middle of a siesta.

“Yes. I’m a daughter of Somnus. I use dream states to hold lessons with my brothers and sisters, so I’m able to teach them how to use their powers in the waking world. There are so many powers we’re able to use.”

Nico couldn’t imagine what sort of powers were too deadly or interesting that dealt with sleep. He decided not to ask. They arrived back in the dining hall. It had pretty much cleared out besides Nieva and the girl that Nico had met back at the borders with Adder—Makoto. The shirtless boy who had approached Nieva earlier was chatting happily with the _other_ person from earlier, Seraphim, the genderless conundrum.

As the three approached, Nieva crossed her arms in front of Nico and shook her head.

“I thought you had a boyfriend.”

“He's not my boyfriend!” Nico said, completely bypassing red and arriving at scarlet. What a horrible girl! Why did she have to bring these things up just to control him? “And I just wanted to go walk around with Reilly. I’m not sure if your traditions are so different here, but where I’m from that isn’t exactly a proposal for marriage.”

Nieva’s eyebrows rose. She reminded Nico of a mother who was trying to deal with a mouthy child. The superiority of it all made Nico sick. Nico didn’t give a shit. He wasn’t pegged down by her rules.

“Calm down, Nieva.” The Somnus girl said, raising pudgy hands. “He’s got a spine, this one. You can’t tell him what to do. If he wants to sleep with Reilly, he’ll sleep with Reilly.”

“I’m _not_ going to sleep with him!” Nico said. Why was everyone so certain about it?

“But if you wanted to, Nieva wouldn’t be able to stop you, right?” Reilly said, crossing his own arms. Nico shrugged. The only person he met so far that exuded enough authority was Matthaius, and Nico was pretty sure that Matthaius would be completely indifferent to Nico’s sexual escapades.

“Whatever. Let’s get this thing over with.” She turned and made her way back to the tables. A few people were gathered around one of the picnic bench type tables. At the head of the table sitting in a fold-out chair was Matthaius, looking regal and serious. He checked his pocket watch.

“Alright, we’re starting now.” Nico wondered how his voice could be so soft and yet cut through conversation like a hot knife. He stood.

“We’ll start by introducing ourselves and our titles. Then our guest will introduce himself and answer any questions you may have.” Matthaius smiled, his hand on his own chest. “My name is Matthaius Desigue. I am a Son of Thanatos. I’m 400 years old. I am the camp director and I enjoy the video game Animal Crossing.” He sat down and looked to his left where Nieva sat, arms crossed, irritably looking away. She stood.

“I’m Nieva Gonzales. Daughter of Mania. I’m sixteen. I teach the left brain courses of Science, Math. I also teach a bit of Power control. I like BMX.” She sat back down with a heavy weight, burying her face in her arms. The shirtless boy who was now wearing a shirt stood beside her.

“My name is Lysander Paparis. I’m a son of Eros. I’m nineteen. I teach all forms of combat fighting and I love to cook.” He smiled as he sat and to his left, the sleepy girl stood.

“I’m Laura Donnarosa and I’m a daughter of Somnus. I’m seventeen years old and I guess... I guess I teach power control, specifically with Hypnos and Somnus campers. What’s that title you gave me?” Laura asked Matthaius. Matthaius had pulled out a 3DS and though he seemed very invested in whatever he was playing, he answered immediately.

“You’re the monitor of foreign affairs.” Matthaius mumbled.

“Right.” Laura said, turning back to Nico. “That.”

“What does that even mean?” Sera asked.

“She talks to her brothers and sisters at Camp Half-Blood and Camp Jupiter to make sure they’re still ignorant about us.” Matthaius murmured.

“So you’re a spy?” Nico said, a grin splitting his face.

Laura’s laugh was warm. “Sure. Super secret agent.”

“Okay, my turn.” Sera said. “We met earlier today, actually, but I don’t know if you’d forget my name by then. Seraphim Johnson. My name’s Seraphim because my mom mistook Cupid as angel of Christianity. I’m sixteen years old, I teach English and History and I tend to the hellhounds and the horses back in the stables. I guess I’m the animal expert. I... uh... I’m a really bad dancer? I don’t know. I hated doing these things in elementary school.”

They sat down back in their seat and took Laura’s hand, burying their face in Laura’s shoulder. Laura patted their head and they both watched as the Asian girl from the border stood.

“I’m Makoto Hioki. I’m fourteen years old and I’m a daughter of Nyx. I’m in charge of protecting the camp and I also care for the younger kids."

"I noticed that there were quite a few younger kids here," Nico said.

"Generally the type of mortals who attract our godly parents aren't exactly the pictures of mental health," Makoto said. "It's not that they're bad people, they're just often bipolar or depressed or schizophrenic... some of them can't deal with children."

"So... you just take the kids from their homes?" Nico frowned.

"Sometimes the parents neglect the child so much that they don't even notice." Makoto said, staring out of the window. "The kids we receive are often malnourished or... have already experienced acute abuse. If the parents are healthy enough, we explain who we are and convince them to allow us to take them."

"It's not as though we never see our parents again, Nico." Sera supplied, leaning forward. "I just went and visited my mom this weekend."

"That's... kind of sad." Nico said, looking away.

"Well sob stories aside, we're fighting now." Reilly stood up, a gentle smile on his face. He pulled at his curls thoughtlessly. "So where we come from doesn't define who we are."

Lysander and Nieva were nodding along with his words, not looking at anyone. Nico didn't want to know what horrors they've gone through. What sort of parents did they come from? Nico looked at Nieva, how he'd been irritated with her earlier. What sort of man draws the attention of the goddess of _insanity?_ Nico felt a sudden surge of pity for Nieva, one that she would probably despise him for.

"I'm Reilly Hinton, but we've met." Reilly said smirking. "I'm a son of Eros, a teacher of power control and a lecturer of fight theory. I'm fifteen years old." He looked Nico up and down. "I'm also very skilled at oral." Nico flushed and looked away. He had been wondering when Reilly would say something sexual. He didn't want to think about sex at _all._

"Great." Nieva snorted. "Thanks, Reilly."

"You could benefit, Nee-ayyy-vuh." Reilly said, his hands on his hips. "You really need to loosen up."

"And you really need to get the fuck out of my face."

"I'm just saying—"

Sera laughed, their eyelashes sparkling while they did so. "Reilly, we understand that you'd bed anything with a vocabulary—"

"Hey, that parrot was a one-time thing—"

"Oh my gods—" Laura laughed.

Nico couldn't believe how easily they were talking about sexual things. He was certain that if anyone had mentioned sex around the Seven, at least four of them would blush and maybe Leo alone would laugh comfortably about it. These kids were so comfortable with it. Maybe being in close quarters with children of Eros made it easier to think and talk about sex.

"You digress," Matthaius said glaring over his skeleton-patterned 3DS. Somehow the glare was less effective over a handheld gaming device, but everyone fell silent anyway. Matthaius's depths-black eyes looked into Nico. "Okay, tell us a little bit about yourself, Nico."

"Can't I just get Adder to do that for me?" Nico mumbled. Everyone around the table chuckled. So that answered _that_ question. There wasn't much he could really say about his accomplishments or his parentage that they didn't know already. Nico sighed and stood when Matthaius didn't respond except to smile at Nico's comment.

"My name is Nico di Angelo. I'm fifteen years old. I was born in Venice in 1929."

Reilly laughed. "What an opening line!"

"Shh, don't interrupt," Lysander said, punching Reilly's shoulder. Reilly rolled his eyes and looked back at Nico.

Nico hated people looking at him. He was so used to being shadows and hallucinations in the corner of eyes. He took a steadying breath. "I'm a son of Hades. I have two sisters, a full sister named Bianca who is dead, and a half-sister who is a daughter of Pluto. I... don't know what I'm supposed to say. That's all I really consider important about myself."

"Your name, your birthday and then your family?" Nieva said, raising an eyebrow. "What about your boyfriend, or your battle experience?'

"No one else talked about their battle experience or their love-lives. I don't see why I have to be the one to talk about that." Nico bit at her, forgetting his pity of her. "And he isn't my boyfriend."

"He who?" Sera said, leaning forward, looking absolutely starving for this knowledge. "Is it a physical relationship that you're denying or an emotional one? Is it the sexuality? Is it—"

Laura covered Sera's mouth with her hand, shaking her head. "Mi Amor. Child of Cupid. Don't get them started on relationships."

Sera swatted Laura's hands from their face.

"I just asked a couple questions, Laura, don't be that way."

"Well, I'm not in a relationship with anyone," Nico murmured. "I was assaulted by Succubus twice. She skewed my perceptions of romance and love and sex. I don't know what I want."

Succubus's name stilled the entire table. Their smiles disappeared from their faces.

"You've... you've met her?" Reilly breathed. "You escaped the Demoness... and survived?" Reilly's voice was deep, serious, unlike anything Nico had heard so far. Nico nodded. "That's incredible."

Nico shook his head. "It wasn't incredible, it was luck and much more powerful friends."

"It wasn't luck, Nico, you're strong." Nieva murmured, surprising Nico. He didn't know what to say to her, he just stared, trying to find out her game.

"I'm sorry, Nico." Lysander said. The table knew that Nico had admitted to being raped, and a sort of unity formed throughout the group. Nico hated it. He didn't want them to be understanding. It would mean that they had been in similar situations, and that upset Nico. He'd rather be alone in his misery than swim in a pool of it. The pain of others affected him terribly. He just wanted others to be happy, even at the cost of his own happiness.

"But to survive the Demoness two times... Nico, are you asexual?" Seraphim asked.

"No, he's not." Reilly said. "But _how_?"

"I... I had some Blessing... the Blessing of Eros—"

"You have the Blessing?" Lysander asked, his eyebrows raised. Nico wanted to sit. He hated being under this spotlight. These people were talking about his sexuality so casually—

"Then he stands a chance," Reilly's eyes glittered excitedly. "You _know_ that Damien is going to ask for an audience. With the Blessing, he'll be safer—"

"That changes things... I wonder what Lord Eros was thinking—" Laura hesitated, looking up at Nico. "Nico, I'm sorry honey, we're talking about you as though you're not here. You can sit down, if you're uncomfortable standing."

Nico sat immediately, pulling his legs up to the chair and crossing his arms over his knees. Makoto smiled understandably at him and reached a hand out to pat his shoulder before hesitating and giving him a thumbs-up instead. Nico smiled at her. He liked her a lot, she reminded him of Mother Night. She was silent, observant. Nico could sense a patience in her that she probably needed with the younger kids. She watched on as the rest of the group argued about someone named Damien. Nico's eyelids began to droop.

Reilly's eyes met momentarily with Nico's. "Look, we can't worry about the Cult right now, our guest is church-nodding in our presence."

"Hm?" Nico said, perking up a bit. "The Cult? You mean the Cult of Succubus? They know that I've met her?" Maybe he should've been listening.

"No," Lysander said kindly. "But they know that you've been summoned here by Mother Night. They know who you are, Nico di Angelo. You're sort of a legend among the Underworld children."

Nico frowned, shaking his head. He wasn't the legend, Jason would be the legend. Percy would be the legend. Nico was not legendary. He tried to stifle his yawn but it drowned him and he slipped a little.

Reilly stood. "I move that he stays in my room."

Nico groaned. "Please don't—"

"I'm not trying to hit on you anymore, di Angelo. I wouldn't keep doing that if you've already expressed disinterest. There are rules that one must follow."

Nico could feel Laura smiling on him, pulling him further and further into sleep.

"Hey, it's my room too!" Lysander laughed. Nico's stomach jolted. Sharing the room with two incredibly attractive boys... He didn't know if he would be able to handle the night.

"Keep Reilly in check, Lysander." Seraphim said, wagging a finger. "That little horndog doesn't need to corrupt our esteemed guest."

"Esteemed?" Nico snorted.

Reilly rolled his eyes. "Well, our room is the emptiest and he needs a place to sleep."

"I'll keep him in line." Lysander winked at Nico. Nico didn't even care where he was sleeping now, he just needed to find a soft pillow.

Reilly seemed to feel the need to defend himself, and was just about to do so when Laura stood up.

"He's in pre-sleep stages, he doesn't give a shit where he sleeps." Laura said. Sera cocked their head and smiled happily.

"Oh, he's like a baby kitten."

"Hey, I'm 15," He mumbled.

"Come on, let's get to your bed then," Lysander said, helping Nico to his feet. Nico suddenly felt the weight of all of his anxieties disappear. The tension was the only thing keeping him going all day. He thought about holding Jason's hand just that morning. He thought about the soft bubbles of kisses that he and Jason shared at sunrise. He thought about Jason's anxieties and couldn't wait to dispel them.

Actually, that was a lie. Nico could wait. He'd Iris Message Jason in the morning. Just thinking about Jason's face, Jason's presence... Nico fell asleep without even changing out of his clothes.


	2. Chapter 2

Nico woke up softly to the sweet smell of cooking breakfast wafting into the room. Children were laughing and running around the halls, people were talking idly just beyond comprehension. The room was empty. Nico didn't recognize his surroundings at first, but then his memories caught up with him. This was the empty bunk bed in Reilly and Lysander's room. Nico was at a camp for underworld children. Nico sat up slowly, the gentle smile on his face imprinted in his mind. He had a fantastic dream. He'd sat with Bianca and his mother at a carnival, holding hands with Jason the entire time. Bianca waved goodbye to go ride on a wooden coaster, his mother bought him cotton candy. Jason kissed him while she wasn't looking. Nico woke up rested and calm. It was the most beautiful feeling.

"Ah, he awakes." Lysander stood at the doorway. He was shirtless again, the scars from yesterday's battles fading already. The two peculiar scars just beneath his pecs were as clear as ever though, and Nico wondered about them. Moreover, did this guy ever wear a shirt? "Looks like you got the royal welcome from Tiger's Eye and Laura."

Nico rubbed his eye. "Tiger's Eye?"

"She's a daughter of Morpheus, the god of—"

"God of Dreams," Nico grumbled. "Yeah, I've encountered him."

Lysander stood up and approached Nico. He had a firm jaw, his straight hair falling around his chiseled face limply.

"Look. You can't judge anyone here by what their parents have done. That's the first rule. I grew up with a daughter of Persephone. She could've easily hated all the children of Hades because he stole their mother and raped her. " Nico hated thinking about that side of his father. "Children are more than their parents, Nico."

"I know that," Nico bit. "I just... I don't want people to peek around in my head without me knowing about it."

"Oh, that's not how Tiger works at all. It's... I don't know much about power control, you'd be better off asking Reilly about it."

"Do you think I'll be able to get into the conversation without someone making some sort of quip about us doing it?"

"No one's going to do that anymore," Lysander said. Nico scoffed. "No, It's true. Reilly asked them all to stop, says that if sex reminds you of the Demoness then it shouldn't be a laughing matter. I agree, really."

Nico bunched the sheets at his chest, that uneasy feeling filling him inside. He remembered how he felt when the table realized that he'd been raped by Succubus, and how he felt a sense of understanding. What happened to Reilly?

"Why does he understand, Lysander?" Nico asked, terrified of the answer. Lysander shrugged a bare shoulder.

"Why do we have so many Cupid and Eros kids if this is technically a camp for children of the Underworld?" Lysander dipped his head. Nico hadn't thought about that. "The Greeks invented tragedy, remember that, Nico."

The softness of the morning disappeared, though the laughter of the kids didn't fade and the smell of buttery pancakes surrounded him. Nico felt sick to his stomach. He didn't want to think about Reilly, the kid who was all smirk and side-eye glances, or Seraphim, sweet and bubbly, being attacked the way he was.

No. He wanted to think about something happy. He wanted... Jason! He couldn't believe that he'd forgotten about the Iris Message so easily! Nico flung off his bunk and snatched a drachma off of his dresser. He shuffled in the shadows to slip through one of the doors that led outside. He found a little faucet behind the kitchens in a wonderful secluded corner. He turned the faucet on, prayed to Iris and tossed the drachma in. Jason shimmered into view, distracted by a book and pulling at the ends of his blonde hair. Nico beamed at him.

"Collect call for Jason Grace," Nico sang.

"Nico!" Jason exclaimed, dropping the book he was reading and scrambling to get closer to the message. "Oh gods, are you alright? Where are you?"

"Everything's fine, everything's perfectly okay. I can't tell you where I am, but I can tell you where I'm not. I'm not in Tartarus. I'm not in the presence of any deceiving gods. I'll be just fine, Jason."

"Do you know what you're supposed to be there for?"

Nico's smile dropped a little bit. "Not yet... but it looks kind of promising. I don't know if Nyx was right in picking me for it, though...."

"I'm sure you'll be fine," Jason said, relief in every sleepless line of his face. "I'm so happy that you're alright."

"You were so paranoid," Nico teased.

"Well—well yeah. If you went to Tartarus, you should've taken me along. Given me a tour." Jason tried.

Nico laughed. "Go get some rest, Jason."

"It's weird without you here," Jason murmured. Nico's smile dimmed.

"I know what you mean. I'm so used to feeling you there when I wake up. Or at least knowing that you're in the next room or... within reach."

"Yeah." Jason murmured, looking down at his hands. "They're... they've also started talking about moving me to a hospital in New Rome. Or at least my own apartment where I can have hospice."

"Why...?" Nico frowned. Jason smiled guiltily.

"I'm not as well as I led you to believe." Jason murmured. "I... I wanted to tell you this when you left because I didn't want you to think you had to stay for me."

"What's wrong?" Nico demanded.

"Just... minor hallucinations, sometimes I revert back into... into what I was before. I did it last night when you left. I had a panic attack. Took me a couple of hours to be okay."

"Oh god," Nico said, covering his mouth. "That fucking Nieva—"

"Don't blame her!" Jason said quickly. "It's all me. It's how I handle my situation, she just handed me the tools to take care of myself. The only thing that seems to be okay is that I don't see Succubus as a sexual thing. She didn't rape me sexually... it was more like emotionally." Nico personally couldn't see the difference.

"I should be there," Nico said. "I should be helping you."

"You're where you should be," Jason said firmly. "Time away from each other may be good for us."

"Are you— are you breaking up with me?" Nico said, a smile splitting his face a bit. "Jason, we never were dating."

"Ah yeah, forgot about that part." Jason smiled. "Do you have to date someone to break up with them?"

"Apparently not," Nico said. He knew that his relationship with Jason wasn't something that could be watered down and simplified into something like a romantic relationship. It wouldn't be as easy as a breakup for their bond to be severed. They needed time away from each other, so much toxicity flowed around them when they were together last.

"Do you think I'll ever be healthy?" Nico asked softly. Jason nodded his head once, his eyes fierce even though the misty rainbow.

"I know it. I'll get healthy again, and you will be healthy too. And we'll find each other again when we're whole."

"That's gonna take a long time," Nico shook his head. "I'm kind of a fucking mess, if you haven't noticed."

"Yeah, well so am I!" Jason laughed. "We can pick ourselves up, okay? I'll see you healthy. We can be together then."

Nico didn't want to think about being with Jason. The kisses were lovely, but the concept of calling himself Jason's and being exclusively Jason's seemed constricting, even if it was appealing. "I'll get healthy, Jason. I'll try my hardest."

"Don't try for me, though. Do it because it's right."

"I'll do it for myself, Jason, don't nag." Nico smiled. Jason grinned.

"Well if I can force you to do something for yourself, then my work here is done."

Nico laughed. "Well go take your 15 minute break, you worker bee."

"Message me when you can, alright?"

"Yes, Jason. I'll talk to you later."

"Be safe."

"You too."

The rainbow faded gently into a light mist and was carried away by the winds. Jason wasn't as healthy as he let on. He was trying to stand on his feet alone. Jason had the courage to do what Nico wasn't able to do. Nico needed to lean on Jason to even get a semblance of control back in his life, and Jason had pushed Nico away and insisted on standing alone. He was capable of it, too. Jason didn't need Nico as much as Nico needed him, this much was obvious. Nico curled up. He wanted to be with Jason. He wanted to love Jason. Why couldn't he love Jason?

"Do you often hang out behind dumpsters?"

Nico jerked up and saw Reilly leaning against the open kitchen door. His hair curled wildly by his ears, his light brown skin shining in the morning sun. Nico rolled his eyes and stood, his legs cramped and dusty.

"Dumpster sludge identification is a pastime of mine, actually," Nico said, shoving past Reilly. Reilly's breath was even sweet as he snorted.

"Was that the boyfriend I've been hearing so much about?"

"I don't have a boyfriend," Nico insisted. "I really don't. He's a friend. That's it. We've been through a lot together, so we're protective of each other. But we're just... friends."

Reilly nodded. "I know that you're not in a relationship, but it's easier to call him 'the boyfriend' when we don't know anything about him. Nieva won't say anything."

"When is she ever obliging?" Nico said, stepping into the kitchen and stepping around the campers cooking breakfast. He picked up a sausage link and popped it into his mouth. Reilly followed him, dodging the kids expertly.

"Look, you've been hailed by the Cult's leader, Damien. You're going to have to visit them tomorrow."

"I'm not going." Nico said simply. No group that worshipped his rapist was ever going to summon him anywhere.

"If you defy them, they'll come here instead. They'll recruit our easily influenced. We can't let them do that, Nico." Reilly tried to get Nico to look at him. Nico refused.

"I'm not going to talk to them. They disgust me."

"Yeah, they're evil pieces of shit, but honestly... they need to see you're someone they can trust or at least respect. They've got hope that you'll save them as well."

"I don't want to save those people," Nico growled. "They'd be better off dead."

Reilly stopped behind him as Nico continued pushing through the dining hall. Nico turned and saw Reilly's face, his eyes filled with hurt. Nico's expression softened. He felt a little guilty and walked back to Reilly, standing next to him by the hearth in the center of the dining room. People around chatted easily and munched on their breakfast before starting the day. Reilly looked like he was about to cry.

"Don't say that," Reilly whispered. "You're our one chance... if you think that their extermination would bring us peace... then it might. For a little while, anyway. But... those are my brothers and sisters."

Nico looked down at his hands. He still felt very strongly about this. "They emulate my nightmare. How can I respect that?"

"They're confused."

"They're horrific."

"They're just kids," Reilly begged. "They're just kids, scared of death, hurt by the world and confused with their morality. They don't deserve _death_ , Nico, no one does."

"I was out of line to wish that." Nico murmured. "But I can't respect them."

"But you still have to meet them." Reilly composed himself. "And there are precautions that you should take before going."

"Going where?"

Nico flinched violently, his heart skipping about seven beats as the little voice by his elbow spoke. It was Adder, wide-eyed and dark as ever.

"Gods, Adder, don't do that!" Nico said, panting. Adder smiled a mischievous toothless smile at Nico.

"Scaredy cat!"

"No, I'm not a scardey cat, I'm just a regular human being with a delayed reaction time." Nico said, rubbing his forehead.

"Anywhere, where's he going, Reilly?" Adder asked, his face oddly serious for a seven year old.

Reilly pursed his cherry-red lips at Adder and sighed. "The Cult, Adder. He's going to see Damien."

Adder's face fell, his eyes flicking to Nico and then back to Reilly. He sighed, setting his tiny jaw.

"I'll go with him."

Nico smiled. The little boy against the Cult of Succubus, a group of people that Reilly was trying to prepare Nico for, it seemed like Adder was doing this to impress Nico.

"Yeah, that seems like the best idea, Adder." Reilly nodded seriously. Nico's eyebrows raised. Wait, he couldn't be serious? "I'll talk to Matthaius, but I'm sure he'll agree with you."

"Wait, you're— _Adder_ is going to come with me?"

"He'll keep you safe, don't worry Nico." Reilly said. Nico searched his face for a trace of a joke, but there was none. Adder smiled up at Nico, warmer. "But for now, I have to give you hints on keeping their attacks at bay. It takes a bit of meditating and... possibly an act that you'll find uncomfortable." Reilly began to pull Nico away back towards the bedrooms.

"I'll see you later, Nico!" Adder said, his little voice much more serious than Nico had ever heard it. He disappeared in a wisp of shadow that was as thick as smoke. Things were so backwards with this.

Reilly closed the door to the bedroom behind them and tossed Nico a notebook and a pencil.

"What is this for?"

"You're going to take notes on what I'm about to say." Reilly said simply, pulling out a whiteboard. "It's important if you want to come back in one piece with your mind intact."

"What?" Nico said.

"These people study to become _like Succubus_." Reilly said, pressing his finger to his palm for emphasis. "They want to use their powers to influence and lower the guards of people to get at their weakest parts. You need to know their powers to know how to fight them. Several of Underworld children, not just Adder, see you as the best that the Underworld has to offer. They'll want to test you, or at least attempt to bring you down to their level. Now, pay attention and take good notes."

Nico hadn't really thought about it like that. He still couldn't help but to smile at the enthusiasm that Reilly had in being a teacher. Nico poised his pencil ready to write regardless of how strange the whole situation was.

"Okay. They have two children of Somnus and a child of Hypnos. These are possibly the most dangerous people they have at the Cult. "

Nico stifled his giggling, he couldn't help it. Reilly was not amused to say the least. He pressed on, though Nico was still fighting to keep a straight face.

"They're extremely dangerous because once they've got your face and your essence, they don't need to be too close to you to affect you. They have a range of about two thousand miles. Children of Somnus have the power to kill you in your sleep. They have the power to steal your sleep from you, making you unable to fall asleep and therefore go insane in a matter of days. Children of Hypnos have the ability to use your day walking body as a puppet, replacing your dream self with their own self. They can force you to do just about anything, kill yourself, kill your family— and then wake to deal with the consequences. Of course both of them have positive powers, but you just need to worry about the negative ones first— why aren't you taking any notes?"

Nico had sufficiently sobered up from his laughter. He'd never really thought about sleep like this. His pencil was limp in his hand. These powers sounded _terrible_. How was he supposed to fight sleep? He'd had his own bout of insomnia, and it was like living death. To be unable to sleep until it drove him insane frightened Nico. He knew how easy it would be. Nico snapped his mouth close and began to write notes on children of Somnus and Hypnos. Reilly nodded.

"Now. They have quite a few children of Eros, seven I think, but probably more since Matthaius last went. And they have two children of Cupid. Children of Eros can incite intense desire in a person, as you know. This is often done through subtle charmspeak and extending their magical auras. They're good at desires, but the catch is the person has to be sexual. They can't do much to asexuals or presexuals. Asexuals are a post-pubescent person that has no sexual attraction to anyone. Presexuals are prepubescent children that haven't experienced sexual awareness yet.

"Children of Cupid, on the other hand, have the ability to create powerful obsession in someone, which _is_ different. They have the ability to make you fall in love, obsessive love, with anything. They don't need the person to be sexual at all. They could make you obsessed with a squirrel and do anything in the name for that squirrel, or even become obsessed with the idea of falling to your death. Your life becomes incomplete until you're able to complete this thing. It's horrifying."

"Uh... have you felt this?" Nico asked, tentatively raising a hand.

"Seraphim played a prank on me." Reilly murmured. "They had me fall in love with an apple, and then ate it. It was..." Reilly swallowed. "Agony. It was agony beyond anything I could forget. Even after they took off the spell and tried apologizing, I wasn't right for days. And because I'm a child of Eros, the effect wasn't as strong on me as it would've been on someone else."

Nico's hand dropped slowly. How was he supposed to fight all of this at once? Seraphim was capable of such destructive powers?

"Now. Their leader is a child of Erebus, a boy named Damien. Erebus kids have the ability to control the darkness in hearts as well as the physical darkness. This gives them the ability to blind you as well as show you your worst potential."

Nico knew well the power of Lord Erebus. He wouldn't easily forget his meeting of the god of Darkness when he traveled through the Mansion of Night with Nyx as a guide. He learned certain ways of shadows from Lord Erebus, but the knowledge he gained wasn't exactly comforting.

"Children of Nyx don't have as much power, but they have this sort of omniscience where they can see the location of everything, especially at night. Generally the children of Nyx will study magic in order to advance themselves this way. Now, I think they may have a child of Hecate. You're pretty skilled at seeing through Mist, though. You're pretty good at recognizing charmspeak, as well."

"Yeah, but how do I fight it? All I know how to do is react to it!"

"Meditation." Reilly said, scribbling a body and circling a couple points on the body. "You need to focus your strength in your chest and your mind. You need to be certain with who you are, unbendable. It's the only way to fight off all of them at once."

Nico shook his head. There was no way he could be certain with who he was. He was so awkward and uncomfortable that he didn't know if he would _ever_ find out who he was.

"Another plus is that they have expectations for you, they have preconceived notions about you that they'll be attempting to prepare for, but reality is so completely different than notions. So they won't be able to get at you as easily. They also don't know about your Blessing." Reilly listed Nico's natural defenses and capped his marker. "Also, it'll help if you masturbate just before you go to see them."

Nico jolted, his eyes wide. Reilly was shuffling through his bookshelf, pulling books with titles like 'meditation' and 'gay witchcraft'. They were highly bookmarked and he handed them to Nico. Nico still wasn't able to get over his blush, taking the books tentatively.

"I— I can't—" Nico stammered. He'd never even thought about masturbating since he'd escaped Tartarus. He'd touched himself occasionally before, but nothing about those experiences made him comfortable with doing it now.

"Can't what?" Reilly frowned. "Meditate? Most people don't know how to do it right, but if you ask Seraphim, they'll be happy to help you. Nieva's really good at it, but she's always irritable after leaving here, so it would probably be best if you leave her alone for a while."

"N-no!" Nico flushed. "The second part! I can't... I can't do anything sexual!"

Reilly's face softened, and he pursed his lips. "You're going to have to try. That's the only surefire way I know how to keep the children of Eros away from you."

Nico clenched and unclenched his fists, staring at the blurring notes on his lap. He didn't even know what it would take to make him able to touch himself. What would he think about? Percy was completely out of the question... thinking about Percy in a sexual way....

Jason maybe? Nico couldn't imagine Jason and him doing anything sexual without feeling guilty for his lack of emotional attachment. He wouldn't be able to stop thinking about how much it would mean to Jason. It would then lead to what Jason must've seen when he was attacked by Succubus, and wham-bam... boner gone. Connor and Travis Stoll used to be some of Nico's go-tos, but he'd used his attraction to them to fight Succubus's planted images of Percy. They were nearly as bad as Percy when it came to arousal.

"Hey, Nico?" Reilly said, leaning in. "You don't have to cry, it's alright..."

Nico looked up quickly, he hadn't even realized that he'd been crying. He wiped his eyes of the tears and caught Reilly's nutmeg eyes. He looked away.

"I can give you some pointers, if you'd like."

"No," Nico flushed. "I—"

"The key isn't to think about anything in particular, it's just to feel your own body and the way it moves—"

"No!" Nico said, standing. "I'll be fine, Reilly, thanks." He clutched the notebook tightly. "Thanks for trying to prepare me, I'll go find Seraphim and... see if she can't help me—"

"They," Reilly corrected.

"Fuck, right. They." Nico shook his head, flustered. He'd been trying not to misgender Sera, but the name was so feminine that it was hard at times. "They. I want to go see if they can't help me with this meditating thing."

Reilly reached his hand out, took a breath as though he wanted to say something, but then folded his hand into his chest and shook his head.

"Good luck, Nico."

"I'll see you at dinner," Nico said, turning out of their bedroom and rushing out to find Seraphim.

* * *

"I didn't know that this was going to be such a problem," Nico complained as Sera brushed the beautiful shining coat of an irritated horse. Sera calmed the horse and threaded their fingers through its mane.

"The Cult is a strong group of kids. They're all work and no play, and that's why they've discovered to what lengths they've been able to extend their powers. We don't go over there if we can help it. They're much more powerful than us, and we know it. Matthaius goes over there once every six months to converse with their leader."

"I'm..." Nico didn't like to admit weakness, not unless he could help it. But Sera was so gentle that he trusted them. Their hair was back in a loose ponytail and they were wearing loose jeans and a hoodie. Their eyes were lined with eyeliner, making the gaze from the wonderful warm hazel eyes just a little more cherished. Nico could trust them, even if they were odd. "I'm scared."

"Good." Seraphim said, wringing out a rag and going to clean out the trough. "Scared keeps you fast, alert."

"Have you ever been over there?"

"No," Sera said, working their shoulders as they scrubbed out the basin.

"So how do you all know what it's like over there?"

"Well... Matthaius tells us some things. We also have some people who left the cult and came here with a change of heart."

Nico's eyebrows raised. How could they trust those who came over like that? How could they not suspect spies?

"I don't know, Sera." Nico murmured. "How would you feel if they summoned you?"

"Oh, I'd be scared shitless. What did I do? I mean, at least the children of Eros wouldn't be able to get me." Seraphim looked up and smiled. "Asexual."

"Yeah, Reilly was telling me about ways to protect myself from them... he said that meditating would help."

"What did Reilly tell you exactly?" Sera said, flipping the rag over their shoulder and crossing their legs on the dusty floor. Nico handed Sera the notebook and Sera took off their gloves and flipped through Nico's notes. They nodded thoughtfully.

"These are all really good ways. And yes, meditation and self-confidence are good ways to fight them, even if it sounds cliché. You _are_ sexual, right? You should probably masturb—"

"God, I know!" Nico said, covering his ears with his hands. It was a very childish way to react, but Nico couldn't help it. He was embarrassed. Sera chuckled.

"I was just suggesting it because you didn't have it written down." Sera said, handing the notebook back to Nico. Nico took it and tucked it under his arm. "I've heard it's one of the best ways to—"

"—to protect myself from the children of Eros, yes, I know." Nico groaned. "But I can't. I just... I don't think I can."

Sera looked up and down Nico, shook their head and held their hand out for Nico to grasp. They jumped to their feet and wiped off their pants legs. They jerked their head back towards the main camp and Nico followed them through the high noon. The grounds were basically empty, a huge difference to their liveliness of the night.

"Well, if you're going to meet the Cult tomorrow, you should at least attempt to meditate tonight. Do you know who's going to accompany you?"

Nico sighed. "Reilly thinks that Adder should—"

"That's probably the best choice." Sera's voice dropped to a mutter. Nico frowned.

"I don't understand."

Sera sighed and pulled their ponytail over their shoulder, twisting it in their fingers. "Well... he's a complicated kid."

"A complicated seven year old?"

"A complicated _demigod_. I'm not going to tell you Adder's story unless he wants you to know it. But... He's presexual, which is just as good as being asexual. The children of Eros won't be able to affect him. He's also a son of Erebus, which is good because he's harder to pin down and influence. He's also been to the Cult three or four times, so he'll know what to expect. He'll protect you."

They both stepped in through the side doors of the dining hall. Sera motioned for Nico to follow them, and Nico walked down the hallway lined with bedroom doors. He was acutely aware of Reilly talking to Lysander in hushed tones as they passed their bedroom. He stepped as quietly as he could and finally made it to Seraphim's room. Sera pulled their sweater over their head and Nico caught a flash of abs. Sera plopped right down to the floor with a heavy thud and smiled up at Nico. Nico chuckled, sitting down softly across from them.

"Alright. Let's attempt to meditate. Are you ready?"

"Probably not," Nico admitted.

"Too bad." Sera scolded.

* * *

Nico didn't go to dinner that night. He wasn't hungry and he also didn't want to see Reilly. He lay in his bunk back in their shared room, ready at any moment to feign sleep. Nico spent a good four hours trying to understand what Sera was saying about feeling the connected human spirit and disconnect his physical body so his spiritual one could be free, but Nico just ended up falling asleep accidentally. Sera had woken him up with a laugh and they tried again. All Nico could think about was masturbation. All he could think about was his inability to touch himself, even for something important like this. He turned over, facing the wall. Had Succubus taken this from him? He felt defective. He was a sexual being, of that much he was certain. But the idea of going into a sexual state terrified him. Would it get easier over time? Would he be able to have a functional relationship? He knew that sexual desires would come over him and maybe paralyze him. Was that fair to this hypothetical partner?

Nico punched his pillow and bunched it up around his face, frustrated and upset.

"Hey, Nico."

Adder's voice emanated from the utter darkness, Nico whipping around to look for the source, but unable to find it.

"Adder, I can't see you," Nico said, his heart pounding in his chest with adrenaline.

"Oh... sorry." The end of Nico's bed dipped a little bit as Adder, thicker darkness, sat at the foot of his bed with his legs crossed.

"What's up?" Nico asked, sitting up.

"We have to go to the Cult tomorrow, and I just wanted to make sure you were ready." Adder said, attempting to sound light. There was no need for a boy so young to sound so old.

"I'm as ready as I can be, I guess." Nico said. He didn't exactly want to bring up the issue he'd been having with the idea of masturbating to a seven-year-old. "I feel better that I'm not going alone, at least."

"You'll be okay, I promise!" Adder said, leaning forward. Nico could only imagine the expression on his face. "I know that you're not feeling your best right now. You were attacked, I know that. And you don't have power control training at Olympian demigod camps. So— so I know that you're afraid that you're gonna be in trouble. And they'll want to attack you because you're so great. But don't worry because I'll be right there for you, okay?"

"Adder, I believe you," Nico said, unable to stop the smile curving his face. "You've got a pretty strong mastery of the darkness."

"I'll pretend that you're a mortal and protect you that way." Adder's voice was fierce with determination. "Even if I die—"

"You're not going to die. That's my promise to you." Nico had to assure this little boy that he didn't have the weight of protection on his shoulders. "Why should some demigods scare me? I punched a giant in the face, remember?"

Adder hesitated before digging himself into a spot under Nico's arm and pressing his face against Nico's side.

"You'll be okay." Nico realized that Adder was shaking with silent tears. "You're Nico di Angelo. You'll be okay."

"You got that right." Nico said, rubbing Adder's back. There it was. That little something that Nico had been missing. Nico didn't care if he didn't masturbate or if his meditation skills were sub par. He would _not_ let Adder feel this way. He would be okay, even if it was just a front to make Adder smile that little toothless smile.

Nico rubbed Adder's back until they both fell asleep, anxious for tomorrow, but knowing that they had each other.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thanks for all of the reviews on the last chapter, I am honestly shocked and so happy that people are willing to read my characters! These chapters are considerably longer than the chapters of Survivor's Guilt, so you don't have to worry as much. Thank you thank you thank you so much for reading this, please let me know what you think!


	3. Chapter 3

The official invitation was delivered by messenger. She was pale as ash, the straight white hair that grew from her head seemed already dead. It swung heavily to her elbows. Apparently this girl had requested to extend the invitation to Nico personally, and would not leave without doing so, no matter how loudly Makoto's dogs barked.

"You've been invited to lunch by the Leader, Damien Jones. I extend this to Nico di Angelo, son of Hades and one accompanying member of this Camp."

Nico couldn't tell who her godly parent was. By the looks of it, she came from a dying tree nymph or a snow man gone wild. She had transparent eyebrows and eyelashes, though her eyes were a thick black, like little coals. Her hands were bony and aged, even though she couldn't have been older than 20. Nothing about her seemed immortal. She just seemed... odd.

"What time does lunch start?" Nico asked.

"One o'clock sharp. Lateness will not be excused." Her voice was low, but calculated. She didn't seem like a simple messenger of the Cult either. She didn't seem to like being a messenger or dealing with Nico any more than Nieva did. She turned to disappear, but Nico had questions.

"I seem to have missed your name," Nico said. The girl turned her ashen head and stared at Nico.

"That's because I haven't given it. Introductions will be made at the lunch. Good morning."

Yep. Definitely Nieva. She disappeared into a puff of dust, shimmering, fading, and then gone completely. Makoto, who had been watching the exchange the whole time, snorted.

"Show off."

"Who was that?" Nico asked, shivering even though the day was warm enough.

"Oleander Bartholomew. Daughter of Eros. She's the second in command, the First Lieutenant of the Cult."

Nico's eyebrows raised. "Eros? Are you sure?"

"Yep. She's been messing with her physical composition so she looks different from time to time, but she almost always has the same hair texture. It always hangs super straight like that."

"Why didn't she feel like other children of Eros I've encountered?" Nico asked as Makoto began walking him back to the main house for breakfast. Makoto shrugged.

"I think it's because she's been working on how to change her physical appearance more than sexually luring people. It's kind of scary how far they're all willing to go."

"She reminds me of Nieva."

Makoto turned sharply, her eyes reflecting stars even in the early morning.

"Don't ever say that around her." Makoto whispered. "Nieva hates the Cult more than anyone else here. She pretends to be indifferent to it, but that's only because she wants them to think that of her." Makoto stopped walking and looked away from Nico. "She considers them all as good as dead. I think it's just because she doesn't have any siblings over there. She doesn't have any siblings anywhere." Makoto snapped her mouth shut.

"She doesn't have any siblings?" Nico attempted to encourage the flow of the conversation, but Makoto's face melted back into its usual soft smile.

"Now I've gone and said too much. Just try and keep talk about the Cult to a minimum around Nieva. You may have noticed that she was a bit put out by the way of your arrival."

Nico snorted. "A bit?"

"Well, coming here and doing anything short of immediately disbanding the Cult would've been disappointing to her. She'll come around eventually."

"If you say so." Nico murmured. They entered the dining hall that was buzzing with sleepy campers, some of them still in their pajamas, some of them half-asleep in their bowls of cereal. "Hey, Makoto?"

"Hm?"

"You don't have any pointers on making sure I survive at the Cult today, do you?"

"Nerves?" Makoto said, smiling. Nico clutched his stomach. He was usually thrown into battle without much time to think. He was trying to prepare for a battle of wits, not weapons. He was supposed to sit across from his adversaries and eat lunch while fighting their every subtle move. He was not used to this type of fighting at all.

"I asked Reilly and... I wasn't able to do some of the things that he suggested. I tried meditation with Seraphim but—"

"There's no advice I can give that Reilly and Seraphim haven't already given you. Especially Reilly. He knows what he's talking about when it comes to power control. Ah, here comes your escort."

Nico looked around. Adder was balancing two trays with a wide smile, apparently pleased with himself. He was completely different from the crying boy that fell asleep under Nico's arm last night.

"Come on! We've got training with Lysander before we have to get going. Wanna see how good your swordsmanship is."

Nico smiled, relaxing. That was something he knew that he could do. Maybe that was the point. Maybe they were getting Nico's confidence up before they sent him to his demise. Adder seemed happy enough about it. Nico turned to say goodbye to Makoto, but she was already gone. He chuckled and followed Adder to a nearby table where Reilly, Seraphim, and a couple of Adder's young friends sat chatting happily.

* * *

The time came before Nico could blink. He impressed everyone while engaging Lysander to a sword fight, feeling comfortable with a sword in his hands, even if it wasn't his usual stygian iron sword. He rarely ever sparred with his own sword, he knew that a single cut could cause serious damage to mortal and beast alike. Regardless, he put his all into taking Lysander on, and he felt accomplished after he finally disarmed Lysander.

Nico was still trying to ride on the confidence from that moment when Lysander shook his hand and congratulated him. Adder had cried with excitement.

Now the seven-year-old was almost unrecognizable from the one of an hour ago. Adder had just shadow traveled them just outside the borders of the Cult. They were gathering their wits about them as Adder gave Nico a few last-minute tips.

"I talked to Reilly and he said that you didn't have enough time to prepare your mind. That's okay for now. They don't want to hurt you. I'm not detecting much darkness. I think they actually just want to have lunch. But I just want to remind you this. I know its obvious or whatever, but I just gotta." Adder's face darkened. "Don't mention the Demoness around them. Don't let them know that you met her."

"What? Succ—?"

Adder kicked Nico in the shins and Nico flinched in pain, hopping up and down, clutching his shin.

"What was that for?" Nico demanded.

"Every time someone mentions the Demoness around an Underworld demigod, they get a little message. They'll probably ignore all the ones that they got when you kept saying it back at the camp, but I don't know."

"And why can't I mention my attack?"

Adder sighed. "Because they'll take you and torture you and ask you all kinds of questions about how she attacks and what an attack is like. They wont trust just what you say. They'll go right into your mind and take it from you, leaving your brain for mush probably."

Nico swallowed. He clutched his fists and looked towards the small gymnasium-sized building. He wasn't allowed to tell these people why he despised what they stood for. He was supposed to pretend to accept Succubus's existence as a theory, though he had experienced it in practice. Even if he tried to tell them all about the horror and disgust he felt... they would still eat up the knowledge and continue to follow in her footsteps. It was terrifying.

"Okay."

They pushed through the forest into the clearing and walked towards the big center building. There were two buildings on each side of the main one. Nico peeked into one of the open windows. It looked like an empty classroom, with blackboards and three or four desks. Nico checked his watch. It was two minutes to one. Good. He didn't want this conversation to start off with an irritated twinge. As they approached the door, it swung to receive them. A girl with waist-length curly hair was standing at its threshold, licking a red lollipop. Her brown eyes lingered on Nico.

"Welcome, the son of Hades, Nico di Angelo." She announced. A great scuffing sound followed her words. "Accompanied by a son of Erebus, Adder Jones."

"Laila," Adder's voice was dead.

"Bladder," she snickered back. As Nico passed by her, he could smell her candy breath and feel her light brown eyes lingering on his face. The entire building was one large room. The wooden rafters were exposed, the dust beautifully catching and reflecting the high sun. The fireplace was at the back of this room, before a raised and empty seat. There was only one long table leading right to the door Nico was standing before. Everyone was standing at attention, waiting for Nico to step into the room.

"Let me show you to your seats," the lollipop girl Laila said. Intoxicating scents of beach salt and fresh basil rolled off of her in waves, Nico caught it just in time to stiffen his spine and fight the feelings of attraction.

"Nico, you sit here." Laila pointed to the seat to the left of the chair at the head of the table. There was a seat open to the other side of Nico, to his own right. Adder automatically went for it, but Laila pulled him back.

"Ah ah..." She said. "You're across from your buddy."

Adder's lip curled in brief annoyance, but his composure was recollected as he stood before Nico across the beautiful wooden table.

A different, deeper voice spoke from down the table. "Stand at attention for our Leader, Damien Jones, son of Erebus and First Lieutenant Oleander Bartholomew, daughter of Eros."

Everyone turned to the head of the table. The fire sprung to life, filling the room with a calming warmth. From one side of the fireplace, a door creaked open. A tall, dark, black person with high cheekbones and broad shoulders stepped into the room. He had no hair, close-cropped to his head, and his eyes were slightly yellowing and murky. He was followed by the ashy girl with pale, crackling skin. In this lighting she seemed almost like a frightening porcelain doll. She actually was quite beautiful in an ethereal way. If one could respect death, then one could easily see how Oleander could be a beautiful person. Both of them exuded unmatchable power. They walked to their seats, uncomfortably close to Nico. Oleander stood beside Nico in the seat the Adder had tried to take, and the leader, the tall Damien, took the head of the table. Once he sat, everyone paused for a beat and followed suit.

Damien turned to face Nico and smiled. Only just then did Nico fully realize how much he looked like Adder.

"Welcome, Nico di Angelo, to our Family." His voice was surprisingly high for his height and his aura. It was smooth as poison, but it was almost feminine, alluring. Nico looked him in the eye, trying his best not to look away. He bowed his head lightly.

"Thank you for inviting me."

Damien snapped his fingers and a string of people walked out of the door on the other side of the fireplace. They were laden down with foods of all types, tacos and sandwiches, salads and fruits... their heads were strangely downcast and their faces were oddly blank of any emotion.

"So, Nico," Oleander said, snapping him out of his thoughts. "I don't suppose you know why you've been summoned by Mother Night?" She folded her hands in her lap, her black dress swallowing her essence.

"I'm not entirely sure," Nico said. "I do feel as though I've been put here for a purpose." He couldn't afford to blatantly lie to these people, they would certainly have a means of sniffing out lies. A plate of hamburgers and a pitcher of juice was placed in front of him by one of the blank-faced workers. Nico glanced at her face and focused, seeing the Mist covering her. Her eyelids covered her eyes in different ways, her mouth hung open and limp. She was a zombie, though he detected a heartbeat. She was comatose... and they had her serving them lunch. He scanned the room quickly before they could notice. Some of the servers weren't comatose, they were just heavily sedated and forced to move as they did.

"Oh, how embarrassing," Oleander said, spinning her hand and chuckling emotionlessly. Their expressions were blank once again, Nico was unable to see through the Mist she had weaved back over their disguises. "Don't worry about the mortals. You've got good vision."

Nico forced himself to smile. "Side effect of my travels."

"Yes, yes..." Damien said, sipping his drink. "We've heard of the amazing things you've done, Nico. Which one do you consider to be the most rewarding?"

Nico glanced at Adder in a half blink, mainly just to check if he was alright. He was glaring at Damien. Nico sighed, using the tongs to help himself to a few pieces of fried chicken.

"Well... retrieving memories of my mother has been the most trying ongoing mission I've set myself. All of my other feats... everything 'well-known' doesn't bring me the same kind of satisfaction."

"I see." Damien said, twirling spaghetti at the end of his fork and biting it. "A self-sufficient spirit. I respect that."

Nico smiled a bit before remembering where he was. He didn't have any need to impress these people. They may be terrifying, but he had faced worse than a couple of brainwashed demigods.

"And have you befriended any of the Olympian demigods?" Oleander asked. Nico thought of Jason and Leo and Frank. He smiled gently.

"I definitely have."

"They trust you?" Oleander asked with light skepticism.

"They had no choice in the beginning. But they trust me now. I consider them family." Nico said. Damien seemed unable to contain a skeptical snort as he cut into his meatball. "It's true." Nico said strongly.

"They've converted you to their 'kill on sight' methods? I suppose you consider all monsters of Tartarus your enemies? I suppose you feared the hellhounds that guard Camp Nyx's borders on sight?"

"Absolutely not," Nico lifted his chin. "My friend, Percy Jackson, son of Poseidon, has actually adopted a hellhound as a free-roaming pet."

"Son of Poseidon ?" Oleander frowned. "The Percy Jackson that defeated The Titan Lord?"

"The very same," Nico said, his heart leaping in his chest with uncomfortable pride in Percy.

"Spike!" A girl down the table shouted. Nico's head turned sharply. She was chubby, her blonde hair was pulled into pigtails. Just after she shouted this, she continued eating her meal as though nothing happened.

Damien, however, smiled and cocked his head at Nico.

"Percy Jackson?" Damien said. Nico swallowed. "You're becoming infatuated with their ways. Just because a son of the sea spared a hellhound does not make him an ally. Would he hesitate to slaughter every last one of us if he saw what that we kept these mortals as our test subjects?"

 _Who wouldn't?_ Nico thought fiercely.

"These particular mortals come from the local prison." Damien beckoned to the nearest server and he approached Damien with his eyes down turned. "This man killed his mother to inherit her money, only to throw it away on booze and gambling bets." Damien pushed him away, and the man went. "That woman at the end of the table? The one with the cross-eyes? She sold children to wealthy people in different countries. The man across from her abducted women and forced them to prostitute themselves by addicting them to drugs."

Nico pushed his plate away, unable to think clearly. These people... these mortals were even _worse_ than anything Nico had heard of. They exploited and used people for their own means. They were simply bodies in a jail, destined for death.

"Mainly, we experiment on molesters and pedophiles." Damien spat the word as though it was the most disgusting insult on the planet. "These people deserve worse than death. They deserve this."

Nico had to speak, "You can be assured that they would make it to the Fields of Punishment—"

"Well of course. But they're no good there in ghost form where I can't use them to advance my own personal knowledge. When they die, their spirits will be released and they can be thrown back into the prison they deserve."

At least they weren't using innocent people. Nico felt a sting of confliction.

"So would Percy take the time to know us? Would the great Olympian demigods understand what it is like to be cast out and hunted anyway? They don't understand."

Nico said nothing. He didn't deny it. He'd felt these things almost every time he was in their presence. If Adder got upset and began unleashing his true power, would he be considered a monster from Tartarus? Would they laugh at Laura's powers of sleep as they did Clovis? Did they really understand Nico or did they just accept him as a sort of strange quirk?

"Even people at Camp Nyx distrust the Olympian demigods," Oleander said softly. "They simply do not understand because they don't know. So who are you to judge what we do? You simply do not know."

Nico felt his certainty fill him to the brim. He knew that what they did here was wrong, even if they were giving these mortals what they may or may not deserve. They were trying to become Succubus, and Nico knew firsthand her methods and truth. In fact, he probably knew better than anyone— anyone besides Jason, of course.

"You're right," Nico said. He still had a part to play, even though the words left his mouth over a tongue of sandpaper. "I don't know you or your family at all."

"You know some of my family," Damien said, looking over at Adder.

"You're not my family, Dana—Damien." Adder said harshly. This slip of names wasn't missed by Damien and he recoiled a bit before smiling and turning back to Nico. Nico didn't know what to make of it.

"He's disowned me for the time being. Adder and I have the same mother, though she died shortly after Adder's birth. A common side effect to dancing in the dark."

Nico's eyes widened, staring into Adder's face. Adder wouldn't make eye contact with Nico, though he frowned angrily at his untouched taco. Adder's brother was the _Leader_ of the _Cult of Succubus._ Somehow, everyone had conveniently forgotten to mention this to him. Was this all a trap? Was Adder really in on it? Nico recalled Seraphim's words _"I'm not going to tell you Adder's story unless he wants you to know it."_ Was this what they meant?

"I was more than a sibling to little Adder. I was the closest thing he had to a parent. Aside from naming him, our mother did nothing for either of us." Damien pushed his plate away and dabbed the corners of his mouth with a napkin. "It's so frustrating when a little brat doesn't grow to respect his brother's efforts to feed and clothe him."

"I can't call you my sibling when you're here. I already told you." Adder's voice was low.

"And yet, I bet you _volunteered_ to come here, didn't you?" Damien said. Nico looked away. Maybe that was it. Adder missed his brother, but he couldn't be okay with the things he was doing. That took a ridiculous amount of willpower. He tried to imagine defying Bianca and choosing to live off on his own. He couldn't imagine it. Even that wasn't a good analogy, as Bianca was only ever his sister.

"Ah, we get distracted easily, don't we?" Damien said, clapping his hands together. "My apologies, Nico. It's not often I see my brother."

"I understand," Nico said. Soon a servant came up and took Nico's abandoned plate and cleared away the lunch foods.

"Time for dessert!" Damien said happily. "And time for introductions. I don't expect you'll remember everyone's name, but we have all been anticipating your arrival for several weeks. Every Disciple is a highly skilled demigod. We will start with Laila and work our way clockwise."

Even though she was at the far end of the table, she seemed to have heard Damien perfectly. She stood up and smiled, the lollipop gone, but attractive traces of it stained her lips blood red.

"I'm Laila Hinton. I'm a daughter of Eros." She sat. The chubby blonde girl and her twin sister stood up, but Nico didn't really listen to them introduce themselves. His mind was still reeling with all the information he had been presented with. The conflict in his heart of the true evilness of their motives distracted him. They spent about three minutes going around. There were only a few things about the introductions that caught Nico's interest. A little boy with a pinched mouth signed his introduction and had it translated by Oleander. His name was Quinn. He was a son of Hecate. A light skinned boy who was the son of the Melinoe, the goddess of ghosts, bowed gently to Nico before sitting down. His name was Sean.

"Do you mind if I ask a question?" Nico asked, facing the group of newly-introduced members. Oleander nodded. "Why are there so many pairs of twins? I think... I counted three?"

Laila raised her hand.

"Permission, Laila." Damien said. Laila stood.

"Eros often sires twins. Not usually triplets, though rarely does he ever have a single child. They're almost always twins. Sometimes a twin dies in childbirth or is killed early on in life, but two babies are usually born from Eros's muses."

"Oh," Nico said, frowning. Her twin wasn't here, then. He thought about Oleander, but didn't dare look at her. Her twin wasn't present either. Laila sat back down. Whatever happened to her twin wasn't something she wanted to speak about. Nico would sooner eat his own shoe before asking Oleander what happened to her twin.

"I've got a question for you, Nico," a boy said, sitting forward. Nico had already forgotten his name. His baggy eyes suggested that he was a son of Somnus or Hypnos, and Nico was careful to look at his nose instead of into his eyes. "How come you're even here? You're off running around with some Olympian scum and then brought here like you're some sort of hero? What've you done for us? Why should I respect you?"

"You don't have to. I never asked for respect from anyone. I was dragged into this as much as you were." Nico said. He didn't want to have any negative emotions directed towards him. Not when there were too many of him to fight off. "I don't know why Mother Night decided to bring me here. Maybe it's because I'm not on Camp Nyx's side or your side. I'm on my own side, free to choose."

"How come she didn't pick one of us? A _real_ child of the Underworld?" He growled. "You're on the side of the Olympians, and you're a traitor."

"Would you call Lord Hades a traitor then?" Nico said, leaning forward. "He's just as much an Olympian as he is the God of the Underworld. I can be an Olympian demigod as well as a child of the Underworld. My loyalty lies with myself and those who I judge personally. I don't lump my loyalty with people I've never met. So do not tell me that I am a traitor when I haven't had time to know you let alone betray you."

"Cory, I think you've insulted our guest enough." Damien said calmly. Nico looked back at him, his smile enhancing his blazing eyes.

"F-forgive me," Cory said, bowing his head. A beat of silence passed before Laila leaned forward.

"So... Percy Jackson?"

Nico felt his stomach lurch. Laila grinned and touched her cheek happily. "Spike!" The muttering began almost instantly after she said this.

"That trash? He's like the leader of the Greeks, isn't he?"

"Well at least he's not a Roman, could you imagine?"

"I thought di Angelo seemed alright, but to have feelings for such a blatant Olympian—"

Nico cursed himself. He looked at Adder who was studying the muttering table as though looking for the spark that would light the flame beneath their seats. Nico looked back at the group, trying to mask his anxieties. He stood up.

"If I could explain myself," he said loudly. Everyone fell in a hush. Nico took a shaking breath and thought about the meditations that Sera had attempted to teach him yesterday. "Percy was the first demigod I'd ever met. I'd been dumped in the river Lethe, left to stop aging in the Lotus Hotel and recruited for a military school. As soon as we were liberated, my sister joined the Hunters of Artemis."

A hiss rippled throughout the group and Nico clenched his jaw and pressed on.

"People kept leaving me, but even though he was unable to save my sister, Percy was always the one to trust me, even after I unleashed some of my power that would be terrifying and foreign to him. He thought I was trying to kill him and he tried to find me anyway. It... do not be quick to judge Percy Jackson on his character." Nico said, his heart beating wildly in his chest. He couldn't believe he'd gone through an explanation of his and Percy's relationship without panicking. The revelation that he had a few days ago (could it only be a few days that he was last a Camp Half-Blood?) really helped protect him in his opinion of Percy. He was talking about the actual Percy Jackson, not the strange fantasy version of him that his mind had created.

"So do you like him?" a girl tittered. They all began murmured.

"Not romantically, no. I used to, but I don't anymore."

"Why, not high enough on the food chain for you?" A boy snorted. "Did a son of Jupiter come along or something?"

Nico's mind went haywire. He was just barely able to hear shouts of 'Spike!' as he felt the room spin. He fell back in his chair and sat, his lips trembling.

"A son of Jupiter?" The children of Eros muttered in shock among themselves. "The strongest among the children of the Underworld and the strongest among Olympian demigods— oh—!" The children of Eros seemed unable to really hate Nico for this as they had hated him for Percy. They considered it too romantic. Everyone else muttered darkly.

Nico didn't want to think about Jason. Nico couldn't think about Jason. He couldn't think about Jason. He had been trying to keep Jason out of his mind this entire time. He felt the excited magic of the children of Eros wash over him in a mixture of pleasures. Nico's defenses had shattered. He felt violated. He felt as though they were slipping themselves into his ass and around his cock. His stomach turned. He felt as though they were strapping him down to a table and touching his body all over. He had no discernible pressure he could relieve or spot that he could cover up. It surrounded him in a disgusting cocoon that was Succubus.

Nico began dry heaving, trying to hold back his vomit. Damien noticed this and stood before the group.

"Enough." he said quietly. They all fell silent, though their emotions continued to run wild. Nico felt a headache coming on. He tried to regain his confidence and composure, but he thought of Jason... bloody, rambling Jason... looking hungrily at the dead corpse of Succubus. He was thinking about Jason pressing his body closer when Nico would try and repress his memories of Tartarus. He thought of Jason calling him brave when he was forced out by Cupid. He thought of Jason. "Nico, I apologize if any of our number has caused you discomfort—"

"Are you sensitive to charmspeak, Nico?" Oleander asked, her voice as wispy as a cobweb. Nico nodded, clutching his head. He had to get out of here. "Why is that?"

Adder made a movement, but Nico could barely register it. There were too many of them. He didn't know how he'd made it this far.

"I— M-my friend Piper is a daughter of Aphrodite—"

"And did she attack you?" she asked.

"Well, no— no she didn't—"

"Emposai aren't this affective." Oleander whispered, staring holes right through Nico. "The witches don't rely this much on their charmspeak..." Oleander looked up. "Damien, our subjects reacted similarly."

Adder had begun to shake Nico's shoulder.

"I really think he's sick," Adder said. "He's been through a lot in a couple of days—"

"Nico, have you ever encountered the Demoness known as Succubus?"

Nico clutched his stomach and he couldn't help it. He vomited at her feet, but she did not flinch. He was shaking, but he stood with Adder's help. He tried to pretend that he hadn't heard her, but the whole dining room fell dead silent at the utterance of her name. It echoed to the rafters and down through Nico again. When she stood, Adder stepped between Nico and Oleander.

"It's alright, Oleander, I can clean it up." Adder vanished the puke and wiped Nico's mouth roughly with a napkin. He began hobbling Nico to the door, but Damien spoke.

"Is it true? Have you really met her?" His voice held none of the casual regality that it previously was bathed in. He sounded completely shocked. "You've met Succubus?"

"Answer him," Laila demanded. She stepped forward, blocking their path. Her charmspeak was so strong that Nico fell to his knees, crying out.

"Yes!" he said, turning around, glaring at Damien. He struggled to his feet denying Adder's help. He tried to find the spark of something that could douse the negative emotions flowing towards him. "I haven't just met her, I was raped by her. Twice."

The room burst with speech, everyone backing up a little from Nico. Damien stared at Nico with honest surprise and fear.

"I hate everything you do here because I actually _know_ her," Nico said, finally letting the words flow from him. He began to find his strength in his hatred. "She's a vile monster and you are disgusting for even thinking about following in her footsteps."

Damien's face morphed into rage, his eyes burning with darkness. The whole room began to douse as the members of the Cult turned on him. Nico unsheathed his sword.

"Prove me wrong! Prove me _wrong_ you rape apologists!"

"We are _never_ apologetic of rape!" Laila said stepping forward, too angry to control her powers against Nico. Nico still felt her beautiful rage dulling his mind. His knees buckled but he stood still, his sword raised.

"He knows her method. He has more than one account of usual attack styles. Capture him." Damien demanded. Everything happened at once.

Somnus children fell asleep. He could feel them working on him almost immediately. He fought to stay awake as he backed up into Adder. The children of Eros began to approach, the boys stripping their shirts and batting their eyelashes. It _burned_ Nico. He was conscious enough to see Oleander rise like a moth above the advancing group and glowing with power. He had no idea what she was doing, but it looked like bad news.

"Nico!" Adder screamed. Nico couldn't see Adder anymore, but he backed up against a wall. Suddenly, Adder was before him, his hands outstretched. His eyes were completely black, like a demon's. Adder covered them in the shade of his darkness but Damien stepped through it like a simple shadow, advancing upon Nico.

"We just want to know her secrets, she may have inadvertently told you something that could be the key—"

"Why would I want any more of her kind on the planet? Why would I help turn you into monsters?" Nico bellowed. He despised relying on his hatred, but it was the only thing keeping him conscious.

"Because you're afraid of death too. Not just the Underworld, but existing on this planet as a finite existence. What kind of life is this? Come now, Nico. We won't hurt you."

"You're lies are too blatant." Nico spat. "If you want to emulate Succubus you should be more subtle." Nico lunged with his sword.

Damien dropped his arm quickly and pulled a blade composed of shadows. Darkness curled off of it like mist, its form shifty and unstable. Damien stopped Nico's blow with a defensive move. The blade was solid, even if it didn't look like it.

Damien stepped around Nico in his injured state quickly. Nico dodged and ducked, his advantage was that he was regaining his health but feigning weakness. Adder was keeping the rest of the Cult at bay with his barrier, therefore cutting off the Eros and Somnus magic. Nico stood fully, lunging and disarming Damien, but Damien just called another sword as quickly as a flick of his wrist. There was no way he could win. He needed to get Adder and leave this place as soon as possible.

Their swords connected several times, Nico altering his footing only slightly. Adder was on his knees, his arms above his head, his forehead sweating. He was crying, his nose dripping, but he wasn't giving up. Nico couldn't believe he'd let this happen. Nico finally nicked Damien's shoulder, revealing white flesh and deep red blood. Damien hissed and clutched his wound.

In this space of time, Nico grabbed Adder and swung him over his shoulder, sprinting for the exit. The barrier disappeared and Nico stumbled as the Eros magic bowled him over. Do _not_ fall. He continued running as best as he could, though it felt as though all the muscles in his legs had disappeared. Once he was outside he turned around and raised his hands, summoning the skeletons of this ground. The ground rumbled as though a train was passing, and bones sprung from the ground. Some of the skeletons were white and clean, others were partially decomposed. They emerged from the ground, hissing and coming to Nico's aid.

They all hesitated when they saw Nico's army amassing. Nico put forth as much energy as possible. He thought about Adder, getting Adder back safely was his priority.

"Wow, Nico..." Nico heard Adder murmur tiredly. Nico giggled hysterically before turning on tail and sprinting to the forest. He fell once or twice, tree roots tripping him, his mind blacking out from attempting to sleep. He needed to get out of the perimeter of their camp. He needed to get somewhere safe.

A beautiful ghostlike Oleander drifted in front of Nico, her arms spread. She was terrifying. Her eyes turned pure white and Nico fell to the ground. He was forced to relive moments he'd never wanted to relive. He saw Jason kissing the Succubus. Bianca was dead. He was a monster, he was a monster and he was staying here in Tartarus— he had to kill himself— in and out, in and out with Succubus, _stay with me forever Nico, I can love you—_

"NO!" Nico screamed, ripping himself from the ground and clawing his way to the forest blindly. He dragged Adder along with one hand. "YOU GET OUT OF MY GODDAMNED HEAD!"

He had no choice. She continued bringing up his worst moments. He came out in front of Jason. He kissed Succubus-as-Percy. He was _raped_ , that word with such disgusting connotations and destructive side effects. He wanted to cut himself, he needed to hurt himself and maybe he could stop feeling violated and dirty—

"Please," Nico begged, still trying to crawl away from Oleander's beam of light. She was awful. She was terrible. "Stop..."

He saw images of Percy disheveled. He saw Jason shirtless and strong. He saw the Stoll brothers kissing. He saw himself undressed and covered in mold and warts, mold and warts that wouldn't get off. His thighs and upper arms were covered in self harm scars, as he tried to cut the bruises out of his body, but they were there forever.

And then it stopped. Nico was lying on the ground, curled up. Adder was standing above him, shielding him with his darkness. Adder was crying. He hoped that Adder hadn't seen what he had been forced to relive. He hoped that Adder hadn't been forced to relive things as well.

"We're in the forest now," Adder whispered. "You got us there. I'm shadow traveling us, even if we're not ready for it."

"Please," Nico breathed, looking at the boy. Adder nodded, his lower lip trembling. Adder hugged Nico, closed his eyes and screamed before they dissolved into shadows. They sped through the darkness, mere particles of concept. He thought he felt himself slip through someone's sad heart.

They dropped on the outside of the borders of Camp Nyx, Nico could just see Makoto's concerned face. Her lips moved, she must've said something. Nico didn't know. He held onto little fragile Adder. He was unconscious and only about half-visible. The afternoon faded to black, exhaustion winning him over at last.


	4. Chapter 4

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Trigger warning in this chapter for rape mentions.

Nico's eyes felt like they were cemented shut. He tried to open his eyes, but his eyelids felt impossibly heavy. The room was dark enough that it didn't burn his eyes when he tried to open them, but his body fought him. When he was finally staring at the bottom of the top bunk he decided that he'd rather be unconscious. He'd barely made it out of the Cult with his mind intact. He had relied on Adder to protect him most of the time. Nico wanted to forget. He wanted to turn over and forget his embarrassing defeat.

"Oh, are you awake?" Reilly's voice was gentle, soft. Nico still flinched at it. He'd rather be alone.

"No," Nico grumbled.

"You did wonderfully. Adder told us all about the skeletons. I don't know if he'll ever stop talking about it."

Nico turned over and faced Reilly in the dark. He was closer than the other bunk bed, he was lying on a cot, holding his head up with a hand and reading a book on a glowing e-reader. He darkened it and looked up at Nico. Even in the dark, Nico could feel Reilly's eyes glistening around him.

"Adder's okay?"

"Oh yeah, he's perfectly fine. That kid's elastic. Stretch him in any shape and he'll bounce right back in no time." Reilly said, smiling.

Nico didn't know what to say. Adder was okay, he was even up and talking excitedly. He hoped that he hadn't told them about how they had finally gotten to him. Damien was right in that the campers here didn't like Olympian demigods. If it got out that he had a relationship, however complicated, with a son of Jupiter... they may not trust his judgment.

"Are you okay?"

"I don't know," Nico admitted. He wanted to talk to Jason, he wanted to lie in Jason's arms. "Why am I so weak?"

"You're not weak at all." Reilly said firmly. "You went in there with the best tools you had and you came back in one piece. You only fell unconscious for a few hours, and your mental stability is already back to normal." Reilly smiled at him, reaching his hand out and placing it on the bed by Nico. "I wouldn't call that weakness."

"But... but I—"

"If you want to list out all of your mistakes, we'll be here all night. It's the only thing one remembers, their mistakes. You are your accomplishments, your successes. You're what you learn from your mistakes. You're _not_ your mistakes, Nico."

Nico wanted to dispute him, prove him wrong. If he had only been able to touch himself, if he had only been able to meditate successfully— if he hadn't feared sex like a little kid, maybe he wouldn't have been under their influence so readily. All they had to do was _mention_ someone that Nico held in favor and he was a trembling, vomiting mess.

"I don't want them to use my fear against me," Nico whispered. "That's all I've become, my fear. I don't want to _be_ like this anymore."

Reilly turned his face down, not saying anything. His brows furrowed, and even through the dark, Nico could tell that Reilly was thinking very hard. He glowed a bit, maybe not visually, but something became more intensely _Reilly_ when his eyebrows furrowed. He looked more like a Raphael self-portrait than was fair.

"What are you thinking?" Nico asked, unable to help himself. Reilly turned his 16th century eyes at Nico and smiled sadly.

"You'll just shoot me down."

"No, come on," Nico insisted, interested now. "What is it?"

"I know that Lysander told you to think about why children of Eros are considered children of the Underworld when technically we aren't, right?"

Nico frowned, Reilly's tone of voice was soft but filled with a calloused pain. Reilly continued.

"Well, children of Eros deal with trauma early on in their life. We're not targets for monsters from Tartarus... we attract monsters of a different kind. Mortal ones." Reilly's voice was fragile. Nico didn't want to hear anymore. He knew the type of trauma that Reilly was talking about. He had suspected it for a while.

"A few days before you arrived, a girl arrived here following a crow— a messenger of Night. She didn't speak. She was almost nude. She hasn't spoken and has already attempted suicide. She's nine years old." Reilly took a stabilizing breath and continued. "Her assault was brutal, violent. But to children her age, that's all it is. She's presexual, so her sexuality isn't yet bruised. Not until she blossoms and discovers who she is sexually will she fully realizes what the term 'rape' means. And the longer it sits in the psyche, the harder the blow."

Nico felt something settle inside of him. It was an empathy stronger than he'd ever felt in his life. It was disgust and hatred for anyone who would molest a young child. It wasn't right. It was horrific. What Nico hated the most is the sad acceptance in Reilly's eyes.

"I've done my best to help my siblings reclaim their sexuality before it's stolen from them. I teach them not to demonize sex or see it as an act of hatred the way that hitting or cutting is. They learn to be okay with sex or to use it as a form of love, an expression of themselves." Reilly lowered himself down on the bed, tucking the blanket up to his chin. Nico averted his eyes. Even though Reilly's aura beckoned Nico to look at him, Nico felt as though he was invading Reilly's privacy.

"I want them to be alright in a way that I wasn't." Reilly's voice was thick with emotion. "Because I was... raped when I was sexually awake, sex was like an act of violence. I thought it was a weapon, get their guards down and use their own bodies against themselves."

Nico curled up, bunching the blanket around himself. The temperature in the room seemed to have dropped about twenty degrees.

"And that's what happened to you," Reilly said, turning his head to face Nico. "After your experiences, you're beginning to view sex as violence. You're demonizing it and you're afraid."

"I'm not afraid of sex," Nico said automatically. "I'm afraid of how it can be used."

"And you'll begin to think that it's the only way it can be used." Reilly said. "But Nico, if you're comfortable with sex, you can use your Blessing to guard yourself. They used your insecurities to deceive you." Nico heard the shifting in the cot next to him and saw that Reilly had sat up in his bed, facing him. He was very involved in what he was about to say.

"I don't know how to use my Blessing," Nico admitted. "I'm a bumbling idiot that had his virginity stolen—"

"No," Reilly said firmly. "Virginity doesn't exist. The concept of 'purity' is an archaic one that is misogynistic and moot. You determine what sex is, but rape is _not_ sex."

Nico was reminded almost forcibly of Jason. When Jason heard about how Nico had been assaulted in Tartarus, he said something very similar when Nico considered himself spoiled. Jason, a boy who had poured so much energy into making sure he was better. Nico couldn't imagine being in any relationship without feeling sexual desire. Nico also couldn't imagine feeling sexual desire without falling into a panic. Succubus stole an ideal relationship from him.

Reilly continued, "I want you to reclaim what you've lost. I want you to trust in sex. More than that— I want you to be sexually confident, to know what you want."

"Reilly, I couldn't even touch myself successfully. How am I supposed to do all this 'reclaiming' junk that you're talking about?"

"Let me teach you."

"Like you teach your siblings?"

"Not exactly. They're presexual, so the trauma is different. You were sexual when Succubus fought you."

"What are you saying?"

"Let's have sex." Reilly's face was serious, but Nico smiled humorlessly.

"Was this all a ruse to get in my pants?"

Reilly's expression didn't change, and somehow Nico didn't expect it to. Everything Reilly said made perfect sense, but Nico couldn't help thinking of sex as a giggly awkward secret thing that was laughed at, frivolous, an act of the privileged. Reilly took it very seriously.

"You're serious?" Nico asked.

"The only way you'll be able to _know_ that you're comfortable in sexual situations is if you've been in the sexual situations. I may joke about sex, everyone does. But people take for granted just how important sexual stability is. They don't know what it's like to feel dirty even after you've scrubbed yourself raw. They don't know what it's like to feel powerless to your own body's senses. Me, Lysander... most of the children of Eros understand it. Some turn their sexuality into the weapon they've seen it as. That's what the Cult is about. What I try and teach the kids coming to Camp Nyx is that sex is for pleasure, not for pain. Sex is meant to be done with a smile, not a sneer. I know it seems ridiculous, Nico, but... I just want to help."

"Have you done this before?"

"Not by example, all the other kids who've come in here were generally presexual or my sibling. I wouldn't be able to teach them the way I'd be able to teach you."

"Why do you want to help me?" Nico sighed. "There's nothing important about me."

"My father seems to think so," Reilly murmured. "He blessed you. Mother Night seems to think so. She summoned you. And... because I see you going through the same things I went through. I had been raped throughout my presexual stages until I hit puberty early when I was ten. I thought that my rapist forced this upon me. It felt unfair."

Nico didn't want to hear Reilly's pain. "No, Reilly, you don't have to—"

"But what I'm saying is that I didn't regain my own sexuality until two years ago. It took me three years to be able to use my Blessing fully, but only because I had to figure everything out on my own, slowly. I want to take you through the shortcut."

"It still sounds a little weird," Nico admitted. "I can't guarantee that I won't freak out. And— and I mean—" Nico felt his face flush as he buried it deeper in his sheets. "Don't you— I mean, don't you have to be— well— attracted to—to the people you have sex with?"

"Oh no, not at all." Reilly said, laughing. Nico curled up tighter in a ball. Reilly rested his chin on the edge of the bed and walked his fingers up Nico's shoulder. "But for the record, I find you _immensely_ attractive."

Nico couldn't help the small smile curling on his face. Reilly removed his hand and began to stand.

"Come on. It's past dinner, but it's almost time for cocoa. We should probably get some food in you. I heard you threw up at the Cult."

Nico uncurled himself and looked up at Reilly. Reilly held out his hand to help Nico out of his bed. Nico hesitated for a moment, considering rolling back over and sleeping for the rest of the week, but he took Reilly's hand and went off to get some cocoa.

* * *

Three days after Nico had returned from the Cult, they had a meeting to discuss everything that Nico had learned. Nico had been nursed back to physical health by Reilly, a very accomplished nurse of sorts. He helped Adder and Nico with their magical stamina, and rebuilt the barriers that had crashed down. He was actually a very great teacher. Nico was actually thinking about attending some of his power control lessons. Maybe he would unveil powers that he didn't know he had. Right now, however, Laura was asleep on the table, protecting the conversation from any of the Cult's invaders. Nico had barely started talking about the lunch when Seraphim stood up and exclaimed.

"They have mortal _slaves_?" Seraphim stood, their eyes blazing, their voice deeper than Nico had ever heard it. The table was buzzing with irritability at the whole concept of the Cult in the first place.

"They admitted to experimenting on them," Nico said.

"That's not surprising," Lysander said, sipping his tea and sighing. "But what they didn't show you was the mortals their age they keep in the lower levels."

"What?" Nico demanded.

"They can't possibly learn everything they can from a weakened, older body of prisoners. They don't see mortals as worthy of being human. They keep some of the kids from the town in their basement."

"How do you know?" Nico asked. Lysander cast his eyes down. He didn't say anything. Nico retracted his statement, looking down at his own cocoa. Seraphim said that people had come over to Camp Nyx with a change of heart. Could Lysander be...?

"What we're trying to say is that they take those prisoners for nothing but revenge. They use them to recruit, to show new demigods that 'hey, what we're doing here isn't that bad, look at all these bad people that we're punishing!' and lure them into their trap." Reilly said to Nico. "You're not alone in your second-guessing, but you have to know the full truth before you trust them."

"I know that," Nico said. He would never trust the Cult. There was no doubting that.

"Is there anything else that interested you about what they said, Nico?" Matthaius said, leaning forward and causing Nico to shiver. Even though Matthaius was a good guy, he still freaked Nico out. He thought about how Leo would react to him. There were a couple of things that Nico wanted to bring up, but he didn't know if he had the authority to do so.

"Well... I... I noticed that there were mostly twins for the children of Eros." Nico said. He tried his hardest not to look at Lysander or Reilly. "A girl there told me that they all had twins. That some die or—or they—"

"Yes Nico," Reilly chuckled sadly. "Lysander and I do have twins. My twin is Laila, you may have met her."

"Lollipop girl?" Nico said, his eyebrows raising. When he thought back to it, the resemblance was striking. Laila covered herself in a thick air of sexual desire, while Reilly didn't boast his parentage as much. Reilly didn't say anything else about his sister, and Lysander wouldn't look up, his eyes far away and dead. Nico half-expected Lysander to say what happened to his twin, but he sat in a morose silence. The awkward silence was interrupted by a change in topic from Adder.

"They used Percy Jackson against him," Adder said. Nico sighed.

"They used my... I guess— my friendships with Olympian demigods against me." Nico said, flushing.

"You mean your sexual desires?" Nieva clarified. Though Nieva had calmed down a sufficient amount since Nico had arrived at the camp, she still wielded her bluntness and straight-to-business attitude as a shield. She became much more pleasant to Nico, though she hated bullshitery. Nico realized quick enough to get to the point with her as soon as possible. Nico nodded at her, blushing.

"Did they use Jason?" She asked. Nico wished that she would stop, but it would have to come to light eventually.

"He was what brought me down, really."

"Okay, who's Percy and Jason?" Seraphim asked, masking their excitement better than the first night they had asked Nico about his crushes. Nico sighed and said,

"Percy Jackson, son of Poseidon was the person that the Demoness impersonated both times. I was desperately in love with him. Jason Grace, son of Jupiter, is my... he's my closest friend and he... he was the only one who knew about my sexuality or my experiences in Tartarus. He risked his life and soul to save me from the Demoness—" "

"I'm sorry, am I hearing these right?" Makoto said leaning forward on the rare occasion of speech during these meetings. "You can't be speaking of the same Jackson, son of Poseidon that lead the battle of Manhattan, produced a hurricane and defeated the Lord of the Titans?" Nico nodded feebly as Makoto pressed on, "And this friend, Grace of Jupiter, he couldn't be the praetor of the twelfth fulminata that killed the Titan Krios with his own golden blade?"

"Uh, Jason's not a praetor anymore... Frank is. And they're not only that but... yeah those are my friends."

"I knew that you were familiar with these people, but I didn't know that you were _friends_ with them. You're close to one of the current praetors of New Rome?" Makoto leaned back in her chair heavily, her eyes wide and mouth hanging open a bit. "Oh my gods," she breathed.

"They're really not all that, Makoto," Nieva said. "I mean, they're just kids that are highly capable. I'm sure if we put Adder in front of any Titan he can take them down in a second."

Adder grinned his half-toothless smile and Nico couldn't help but smile with him.

"And I have a seat in the house of senators as an ambassador of Pluto. I got kind of close to the main praetor, Reyna, when I brought the Athena Parthenos back from Greece—"

"Stop, stop talking." Makoto said, standing, pacing. Nico stopped talking immediately, shocked at Makoto's temperament. "Do you all see what he is? He's _power_. He's got the power to make everything alright that we have _never_ had in all of Matthaius's years. I really hadn't grasped what he had accomplished until he started speaking about his friends in such a casual manner. These people, the people that he's associated with, they can bring us out from under this rock of fear. Maybe they can even help us. Do you understand how many children we can save from the abuse of mortals if we had satyrs hunting down their smell instead of just Matthaius and a couple of directors? Do you understand how important Nico is?"

Nico wanted to stop her, he didn't know if he was worthy of all of this. "M-Makoto, I'm _really_ not sure that—"

"You don't know what sort of power you have, Nico, you don't understand because you took advantage of your situation and grabbed the power offered to you. You forged bonds, friendships, trust that we can use to save lives—"

"Makoto, you're forgetting about the Cult," Nico said. "Even if I began talking about this place to Reyna now, she would want to come here and see it. She would hear about the Cult and would be forced to consider the possibility of your darkness. She would wonder why you haven't taken responsibility for their actions and erased them."

"We're not powerful enough," Lysander said. "We don't raise an army of monsters here, we protect children and teach them about themselves. We don't have an organized army like the twelfth fulminata does. We're just a bunch of kids."

"Reyna would probably see that and understand it. But she wouldn't be able to convince the rest of the senators of that. She would insist on their destruction and your imprisonment, or at least put you under surveillance. Reyna is understanding. She once studied under Circe, so she understands what it means to have a wavering morality."

Nieva banged on the table, standing up, her eyes ice. "That goddamned Cult is keeping us from peace. This is the first time in _years_ that a sensible praetor has been at the helm of that band of brutes and they're over there cutting into mortals and fucking with our only chances. In a few years she may be dead, and another more deadly leader may take her place. This is our time _now_ and they're—" Nieva screamed in frustration and began to pace around like Makoto had just done.

"Why _can't_ we teach our campers how to battle? Why _can't_ we destroy the Cult once and for all? We must take responsibility for our actions, we can't just let them—"

"Nieva, enough." Lysander said, standing, glaring at her. Nieva froze. Lysander's tall form was intimidating for the first time that Nico had been here. Generally Lysander was like an easy-going older brother, but during this whole meeting, he'd been a little off. Nico actually felt frightened of him. "To teach these kids to fight their brothers and sisters... that makes us no better than the Cult. There's nothing we can do. If we go to the Olympian demigods now, they won't trust us because we haven't taken responsibility for the acts of the Cult. If we _do_ destroy the Cult, they'll see us as monsters ourselves for killing fellow demigods. There's no way we could win in any situation."

"There's one way." Nico said. Everyone turned to look at him, eager. Nico grimaced. "If the Cult surrendered themselves up to Rome." His shoulders sagged. "It's the only possible winning situation that I can come up with."

"More like an impossible winning situation," Seraphim murmured. "There's no way we can force them to surrender peacefully. They'd have to do it willingly."

"Yeah, I know," Nico said. "I thought I could almost see them as people when I was over there. Even Damien showed a form of humanity when he was talking about Adder. They're all just scared of death, even though they know about the afterlife. They're afraid of the fields of Asphodel, I think, moreso than the fields of Punishment. If we can just show them... if we could open their eyes to the consequences of their actions—"

"They don't know half of it." Nieva said, her voice low. Everyone looked at her. She was standing, her hands on the back of her chair. " _We_ don't even know the half of it. How much the Demoness suffered going through it. What if they're not as evil as she was? What if she survived this long because she has a spark of something wicked inside of her? What if, hundreds of years later, surviving off the souls of innocent victims, they realize that what their doing is disgusting and vile, but they're unable to stop? They would only have one option. Permanent death. They would have no soul, having devoured it on their first leap into existence as a monster of Tartarus. They would die a death that mortals fear. Nothingness. Permanent nothingness."

Everyone fell silent, staring at Nieva in horror. She turned her head and crossed her arms, trying to hide how upset she was. What had she experienced? What the hell was she going on about? If she truly hated the Cult, why did she sound as though she had thought about their fates so much?

"Nieva," Matthaius said, standing and placing a hand on her shoulder. Nieva jerked it away. She threw one last look at Nico.

"Don't disappoint me," she whispered. She turned and walked back to the rooms on the opposite end of the dining hall, disappearing in the dark. Makoto followed her, running to catch up. It was the most emotional Nico had ever seen Nieva, it concerned him greatly. He looked down at his hands. Here he was again, unable to survive a lunch at the Cult and he was expected to end a decades long feud between brother and sister, and reconcile a _centuries_ long feud between the underworld and the Olympian world. How could he do all of this? How could he even pretend to have that kind of power? He was afraid of his own body's feelings, how could he solve all of this?

Laura sat up, yawning and blinking sleepily.

"Meeting adjourned, I assume." She said deeply. She stretched her arms across the table and chuckled gently. "Oh, and Cory didn't have too many nice things to say about you, Nico." She chuckled. "Congratulations."

"Thanks," Nico said awkwardly. Seraphim helped Laura to her feet.

"All I want to say," Laura said slowly and deliberately. "Don't worry about trying to solve things right away. Night is patient, and you should be too. Don't make any hasty decisions because you feel as though you need to prove yourself. You're here for a reason. Until you find out what that reason is, get comfortable."

Nico smiled at her. She leaned over and held Nico's hand for a moment before turning away, holding Seraphim's hand. Lysander glanced at Matthaius and Matthaius nodded. Nico didn't understand the meaning behind it, but Lysander and Matthaius turned and headed to Matthaius's horrifying room. The door clicked shut, leaving Reilly and Nico alone in the dining hall with nothing but the flickering embers of the hearth for company.

"I agree with Laura. It's true that you have these connections that can help us, but there's no point in forcing a square peg into a round hole before it's been eroded with time into the right shape."

"Nice metaphor," Nico snorted. Reilly ducked his head in a little bow.

"I'm filled with them."

"Reilly, about your offer..." Nico hadn't even mentioned Reilly's offer of teaching him how to confidently deal with his sexuality. Reilly had respected Nico's silence and hadn't brought it up either. Nico appreciated this, but it still itched in the back of his mind. He could either slowly get over his fear of sex and sexuality by himself over a long period of time, demonize it so that he's unable to have sex casually again, or he could allow Reilly to teach him what he knew. Sex and sexuality always seemed like such a personal thing that he had to discover alone, it even seemed that way for all of his friends. It seemed odd to learn about his own sexuality through teachings. Was Reilly's offering a cheat or a gift?

"I think... I think I'd like to accept your offer."

"That's great." Reilly said.

"Can I ask someone about it first?" Nico said. "I mean, I know I'm not supposed to let any of my friends know where I am or who I'm with, but I think—"

"You want to ask Jason about this?" Reilly smiled. Nico chewed the inside of his mouth as his heart fluttered.

"Yeah," Nico admitted. "I won't tell him anything that would maybe reveal us—"

"Don't worry," Reilly waved his hand. "Tell Grace as much as you want. If you trust him to keep it secret, I trust your judgment. You don't seem like you trust many people, so when you trust..." Reilly nodded impressively. "Go and ask him." Reilly stood up, stretching his arms above his head, exposing his midriff. Nico caught his breath and turned away, feeling excitement pool in his lower stomach. He'd soon see more of Reilly's soft body.

"I'll meet you back in the room. We'll talk about a lesson plan tomorrow, alright?" Reilly said, resting a hand on Nico's shoulder briefly. Nico nodded and watched as Reilly sauntered to the rooms.

Nico got up and made his way to the empty bathrooms. He turned off all the lights except one over a shower and turned the faucet on, angling a seat to spray a fine mist. It took a little bit, but a rainbow finally appeared. He fished in his pockets for a drachma and threw it into the mist. He prayed to Iris and Jason's face, mid-laugh, appeared before him. Nico couldn't help but to smile.

"Nico!" He said happily, smiling at him. "I haven't heard from you in almost a week!"

"It's been five days, Jason."

"Two days short of a week," Jason pointed out. "What's going on? Nothing too awful, right?"

Nico didn't want to worry Jason, but he couldn't lie to him either. "I had... I had a close call a few days ago." Nico murmured. Jason's smile faltered. "It shouldn't be an issue for a really long time, though. I'm safe now."

"Promise?" Jason said. Nico smiled, craving the warmth of Jason's aura and the scent of Jason's skin.

"I promise, Jason. I actually had a question to ask you." Nico said, his heart thumping. He didn't know if he could articulate it how he wanted to say it. "I... how... how important is sex to you?"

"What?" Jason said, his eyes wide. Just as Nico thought. People weren't like Reilly, and it was a side effect from being around him. "I... I don't know, Nico. It's... It's fun, I suppose—"

"No. I mean." Nico tried to form his words carefully. "If someone... if someone took your ability to comfortably have sex... would you feel incomplete as a person?"

"Nico, you're asking about yourself," Jason murmured. "This is about Succubus, isn't it?"

"I don't know if I could make it more transparent," Nico murmured. "But yeah, basically. I'm just... how important is sexuality to you, Jason? I mean, just to you, not like... some round-about kind of me way. I just want to know."

"Well... uh..." Jason scratched the back of his neck. Even through the mist, Nico could see a blush darkening his tanned skin. It was so rare that he saw this part of Jason, and Nico couldn't help but smile. "My father sort of... children of Zeus and Jupiter generally have a higher sex drive than usual demigods. So... it's part of my identity. Being confident with who I am in a bed sort of... I don't know... makes me more confident about who I am in the field. I know that I saw a huge change in Piper after she became comfortable with who she was with me. I guess... it's sort of really important, then."

"Yeah." Nico said, chewing inside his mouth. "That's what I thought. She didn't take that from you, did she?"

"She? Piper?"

"No... the..." Nico shifted his eyes. "Look, I can't say the name of the demoness, but you know who I mean, right? It's not safe for me to say it. I don't think it'll matter if you say it, though."

Jason frowned, his jaw stiffened. "Nico, where are you?"

"I'm in a shower stall right now, just... can you answer the question?"

Jason hesitated, staring at Nico through thoughtful eyes but sighed and answered his question.

"No, Succubus didn't take my confidence in _that_ aspect. She... took my confidence in reality. But in any reality I'm in, I'm able to have sex. She didn't really rape me sexually."

Nico nodded. He remembered that about Jason's experiences. He was ripped up, but his genitals and sexuality wasn't bruised as Nico's had been. His experience was traumatic, but it was a different trauma than Nico's.

"Nico, why are you asking me all these questions? You told me that you're safe but... are you okay?" Jason's voice was soft, kind. That was so much like Jason that Nico laughed.

Nico closed his eyes, willing the tears to go away. He felt his heart yearning, he felt his chest burn with an odd pain that he hadn't really understood.

"I miss you," Nico translated his pain in a burst of sound. "I miss you a lot, Jason. I really, _really_ miss you—"

"Woah, Nico," Jason smiled raising his hand to the mist. It was almost as though he could come through. "I miss you too."

"I'm sorry to ask you all these weird questions. I hope that I didn't make you uncomfortable."

"Not at all, Nico. Look. You do whatever you need to do to make yourself confident in your own body. I've been going through therapy to get my head straight. Maybe you should go through some sort of therapy to get your thoughts straight, okay?"

"There's nothing straight about my thoughts," Nico murmured automatically. Jason's smile crinkled his eyes beautiful and he laughed like a well-tuned, beautiful instrument. Nico felt a burning in his chest again.

"Well do what you can to get your thoughts gay, then."

Nico couldn't repress the squirmy smile that loosened his face. Jason laughed at the face Nico was making.

"You're beautiful."

Nico looked down and up again, wanting to memorize every pore on Jason's face. The unclear image through the mist kept so many details hidden. He didn't know how long he would be forced to stay at Camp Nyx. He didn't know how many parts of Jason he would forget until then. Nico swallowed and nodded.

"I have to go," Nico said. "I'll call you when I can."

"Be okay," Jason demanded. "Or I'll come over there and make you okay."

"Don't give me incentive to be bad," Nico said.

"I'll see you later, Nico."

"Bye," Nico whispered.

"Goodnight." Jason smiled.

The image stuttered and was gone. Nico buried his head in his knees, his hands crossed before his head. The water hit the floor in loud smacks. His socks were getting wet, but he didn't care. Jason said it himself. Nico should make himself better in any way he could. Reilly offered a way to make himself better. He was terrified and excited at the same time. He hoped that he didn't have a panic attack in front of Reilly. He didn't want to compare his body to Reilly's, but he just _knew_ that Reilly's skin was going to be beautiful and soft and Nico's would be rough and pockmarked.

Nico stood finally, his legs cramped, and turned the shower off. His official decision scared him. He slipped off his socks and rolled the cuffs of his pajama pants to avoid stepping on wet cloth. Reilly had probably slept with much more beautiful people.

 _But they don't matter now,_ Nico scolded himself. _He's not here to fuck you, he's here to teach you._

Nico slipped into the bedroom quietly, Reilly reading on his top bunk and Lysander still absent from his bottom bunk. Nico supposed that he was still in Matthaius's room. He wondered briefly about what they could be talking about. Nico didn't linger on it. His chest ached with the absence of Jason next to him in the bed. He hadn't felt like this before. It scared and conflicted him. He'd missed Percy before, he missed Bianca with a fiery pain, but this was different than either of those emotions. Nico covered his head with his hands and curled up in his bed, begging for sleep to take him. Eventually, his body obeyed and Nico fell asleep with a gaping hole in his chest and a shaky foundation in his decision.

%MCEPASTEBIN%

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I know that there are all kinds of "teach you how to have sex" fanfictions but I hope that you understand the significance of this kind. I don't like gratuitous sex scenes, I really only write plot advancing sex, just because there's a time and place for that. That aside, I've been trying to post longer chapters because I'm sort of notorious for short chapters. Thank you for reading and please let me know what you think!


	5. Chapter 5

Nico thought he had prepared himself for his sex lessons with Reilly, but this was just humiliating. He already had to ask Matthaius to take a safe sex test so he would be allowed to have sex under his roof. Nico didn't know the first thing about regular sex, let alone safe sex, so Reilly gave him an overview about condoms and STDs and avoiding pregnancy. Nico retained just enough knowledge to pass the test with an 84%. It would have to do. They wouldn't be having sex in common terms for a while anyway.

It turned out that Camp Nyx had a room specifically for sex. Matthaius told him that it had become necessary as more children of Eros came into his care. He could tell who was having sex, make sure they were doing it safely, and it limited one couple, forcing the other children of Eros to learn self-control. Win-win-win, in Matthaius's situation.

When Nico walked into the Room, he noted that it was intensely comfortable. There was a smaller room leading off of the underground room, Nico could see a sink and toilet in dim lighting. Next to the shower was a small washer and dryer. Reilly walked automatically to the closet to the right of the bed and pulled out a mattress topper with his name stitched in it, and a box that had his own personal sheets.

"What's all this?"

"We each have to have our own mattress liner, a thick one, you know." Reilly said, tucking the sheets underneath the mattress. "How would you feel if you knew that you were having sex on a bed that several other people have had sex on? It's just more sanitary. We flip the mattress every 6 months and get a new one at the end of the year. We have to determine when to buy our own sheets and new pillow."

"That makes sense..." Nico said. He paced around the room, glancing in the bathroom as Reilly made up the bed. "Have you had sex in here before?"

Reilly paused and raised an eyebrow at Nico. Nico understood the expression to mean 'what do you think?' He retreated further into the bathroom and glanced around inside the shower.

"Where are you going?" Reilly called.

"I'm just... looking around," Nico said. The truth was that he had waited two days for their lessons to start, and he didn't know if he was actually ready for it. What would happen? Would Reilly be all over him? Would Reilly fuck him? Nico began to shiver with nerves, trying to repress the cold that crept up his spine.

"Are you ready, Nico?" Reilly asked, standing next to the bed. Nico shrugged, walking back towards Reilly anxiously. Reilly sat down on the bed, his arms crossed.

"I just made up the bed out of habit. I told you that we're not going to be having practical sex until you're ready, why are you so nervous?" Reilly laughed, his red lips curling beautifully. Nico scratched the back of his neck and shrugged again, not trusting his mouth. Reilly nodded.

"The first thing that we have to do is give you confidence in your body before we can give you the confidence to use it as a tool of desire." Reilly slipped off his shoes and crossed his legs beneath him, turning towards Nico. "How do you feel about your body? Do you find yourself attractive?"

"Not really," Nico said, avoiding Reilly's eyes. "I mean... I'm kind of pale and skinny. I've got these bags under my eyes and... I just don't know."

"You have to see your body as a vessel, not just an aesthetic painting for others to judge. Your body allows you to hear songs and see flowers. Your hands give you the ability to wield your sword, your body that you call skinny allows you to be nimble and quick. You're powerful, and you have your body to thank for that. Without your body, you wouldn't be here right now, am I right?"

Nico shrugged, "I guess I never really thought about it that way. Isn't it kind of conceited—"

"To be conceited is to think that you are better than others around you. To be self-confident is to think that you are just as worthy of praise as any one of your peers." Reilly said. Nico felt like he should be taking notes or something. He was beginning to calm down. Nico was just starting to think that maybe today they would just talk and he wouldn't have to do anything at all when Reilly spoke again. "Alright, I want you to strip down nude."

"Oh god," Nico murmured, pulling his hoodie around him tighter. "Why?"

"We're not looking at your body as a sexual object, but as a simple tool. You have to accept everything that your body is and not be ashamed to show it to other people. It's just a human body, you know." Reilly said. Nico wasn't entirely convinced, but he had no reason not to be. Nico knew that his body did several other things besides sex, but it was still difficult for him not to think of his nude body as a sexual secret.

"Do...do I have to?"

"Are you actually asking me that question?" Reilly sighed. "You're not even going to _do_ anything. I just want you to stand there, in front of me, completely nude."

Nico could feel his whole face redden. He swallowed. He really, _really_ didn't want to do it. He wished that the lights were dimmer at least so Reilly didn't have to be blinded by his pale skin. He didn't want Reilly to see every scar and every rib on his bony body. He swallowed and closed his eyes. _No one said this was going to be easy,_ he thought to himself. He had to get over this. He had to make himself better. Nico loosened his grip on his hoodie and shrugged it off of him.

"Don't laugh," Nico demanded of Reilly. Reilly shook his head, saying nothing. His eyes were fixed on Nico. Nico felt like he was under a scorching spotlight. He unlaced his boots and put them aside, slipping off his socks and folding them. He was standing barefoot in his shirt and pants. He buried his toes in the shag rug beneath his feet. He tried to find the confidence within himself to take off another article of clothing. He could do it. Nico pulled the back collar of his shirt over his head and threw his t shirt aside. He couldn't look down at his own body. He avoided it as much as he could. The best times were when he forgot what he looked like to be self-conscious about it. He'd never seen his body as beautiful, he never really thought of it as worthy of praise. He thought of it like a tool, but a different tool than the one Reilly described. His body was a tool allowed to rust and get dirty until it got old and could be thrown away.

Nico glanced at Reilly's face for half a second. Reilly was perfectly expressionless, staring at Nico with blank, but attentive eyes. Nico's heart threatened to beat through the thin layer of skin and flop around the floor, wet and bloody. Nico almost wished for a distraction like that. His hands began to shake as he fumbled with his belt buckle and pants button. He could do this. Nico let his pants drop around his ankles. He kicked them aside. He tried hard not to think about his bony knees and thin thighs, littered in self-harm scars. Bianca used to call them chicken legs. He closed his eyes and took another stabilizing breath. The only thing left was his briefs, a thin layer of cotton between Reilly's spotlight eyes and his modesty.

"I don't know how you're containing your obvious arousal at my body," Nico attempted at a joke, his jaw chattering with adrenaline. He couldn't look at Reilly, but he heard Reilly laugh softly.

"One more piece, Nico. You're almost there."

Nico knew this, he just didn't want to accept it. He tucked his thumbs into the elastic of his underwear and slipped it lower, dreading the moment when he would be exposed. Nico thought about how taking off a bandage was much more painful if it was done slowly. He clenched his jaw and pushed his underwear down to his ankles and kicked them aside. He stood there bare in front of Reilly, uncomfortably aware of how his odd tufts of pubic hair trailed up to his stomach. He clutched his fists tightly, feeling the fingernails cut into his palms. He curled his toes in the rug beneath him, biting his inner cheek again. He didn't want to look at Reilly, but he still wished that Reilly would say something.

"Now, see was that so difficult?" Reilly laughed. Nico looked up at Reilly, frowning.

"You strip in front of a complete stranger then!" Nico demanded, his blush heating up his ears.

"Been there, done that." Reilly said, waving his hand. He stood up and faced Nico, pulling an elastic band from his pocket. He reached for Nico and Nico backed away, his arms instinctively covering his torso. "Calm down, I'm going to touch your hair, okay?"

Nico relaxed slowly, Reilly pulled his hair back into a little ponytail and out of his face. It made everything surprisingly lighter, and Nico actually felt as though he could see more.

"How long do I have to stay like this?" Nico asked, still trying to cover himself up with his hands.

"For the entire lesson." Reilly said. "Four hours. Every weeknight. For _every_ lesson."

Nico's heart dropped into his stomach. He didn't know if he could deal with this sort of stress every single night.

"Are you serious?" Nico whined. Reilly smiled.

"Come on. Help me get out the desk and seat."

* * *

Reilly had actually come up with a syllabus for Nico to follow along. It was nice because nothing else would be a surprise like it was today. Still, he didn't know if he would be able to go as fast as Reilly wanted him to. The entire program would take, conceivably, two months. Nico looked over it dubiously. He had taken notes on body positivity and a little bit more about safe sex. They went over the definition of sexuality and gender the different ways someone could identify. Nico was actually amazed by the many different ways that he could identify. Nico dutifully took notes. He was presented with so much information that he practically forgot about his own nudity.

The end of the lesson was really odd. Reilly pulled out this large mirror and leaned it against a wall. Nico was to look at himself for an hour, to look at every inch of his body that he could. Reilly was going to go sit in the bathroom and sanitize the desk and chair that Nico had used. He would be alone, without Reilly's anxiety-inducing gaze. Nico spent the hour staring at himself uncomfortably. He realized that his pores were clogged and his baggy eyes were actually really unattractive. His hair was pulled back in a tiny ponytail, revealing the pimples by his hairline and under his thick eyebrows. He didn't like this part of the lesson. Was it supposed to make him feel worse about himself? Should he start wearing makeup? He looked down at his notebook. He wrote a lot about how every body type was beautiful and that physical beauty should deal less with shape and more with health. He fingered a lock of his greasy hair. He should probably wash it more often. Would the pimples go away if he started washing his hair? He knew that he was malnourished. He didn't have a high appetite, but he knew that he ate way less than he was supposed to. He was actually fairly certain that his power over death was what powered him. Maybe that was why he was more susceptible to magical attacks, because he was expending magic to keep himself together.

Nico turned around, looking at his backside. It was rounder than he had thought it was. He had a freckle right under his left cheek. Was his body normal? Reilly had showed Nico a wide variety of bodies. There were chunky people with hairy chests and thin people with inverted nipples. Nico guessed that the lesson was supposed to teach him that 'normal' was subjective. It was actually really fascinating to see all the different types of people. It sucked that there was an 'ideal' body that he felt that he needed to aspire to be. Lysander fit it pretty well. He had wide shoulders, lean muscles, light chest hair and armpit hair that didn't curl. Nico sighed. Was the hour over yet?

* * *

When he left the Room with Reilly, sitting comfortably in his clothes again, he didn't know what to say. Reilly was helpful.

"Same time tomorrow, okay? We go from nine to midnight, just like tonight, okay?" Nico nodded and Reilly waved goodbye and walked back up the stairs. Nico appreciated how Reilly wasn't acting as awkward as Nico felt. It was only half as uncomfortable when both parties weren't shuffling in their awkwardness. The only thing that could make their arrangement more uncomfortable was if the others found out and began teasing Nico about it. He could barely handle it in private, he didn't know if he would be able to deal with public teasing.

He finally mustered the courage to follow Reilly's lead and shuffle up the stairs. He nearly knocked Nieva over.

"Oh— Sorry—!" Nico said, catching his balance. Nieva caught herself with a single move of her leg, she had a much better sense of balance than Nico.

"Slow your roll, di Angelo," she laughed. Nico zipped his hoodie up to his chin and buried his hands in its pockets. "Wanna get some tea with me?"

"I—I guess." Nico said, glancing at her. Nico walked a half step behind her, still uncomfortable. He wasn't uncomfortable with his body in the usual way that he had grown accustomed to after Succubus's attacks... it was a different sort of uncomfortable. It didn't attack him as brutally. He looked around at the kids and the teenagers around him and felt jealousy, even from Nieva. He had spent the last hour staring at every little imperfection on his body. He felt as though everyone was so comfortable in their shells, even Seraphim had found a comfortable way to express their true inner self. Nico felt like he was some sort of freak. Everyone seemed confident, besides him.

"What are you going to do around here?" Nieva asked, getting a cup of cocoa for Nico and a mug of hot water for herself. She plucked a chamomile tea bag from the pile and led Nico to a table at the edge of the dining hall. Nico shrugged.

"I'm sort of stuck here until I'm useful, right?" Nico murmured. "I guess I'll just... sleep and eat and stuff."

"You're not used to being tied down," Nieva pointed out, stirring sugar into her tea. Nico looked down into his frothy cocoa, not really hungry for it. Nico shook his head and dipped his finger into the cocoa.

"What's wrong?" Nieva asked leaning forward.

"You're not usually this caring, Nieva, what's wrong with _you_?" Nico didn't look up at her. He plucked his finger from the cocoa and sucked the foam off his finger. "The last time you talked to me, you despised my presence."

"I'm trying to apologize for that," Nieva said, her tone somber. "I was out of line."

"You were." Nico said, finally gleaning some confidence. "But I understand completely. I'm sorry for raising your hopes."

"That's not your fault," she smiled sadly. "I guess I really don't understand how the others feel. Reilly and Laura and Adder and all of them. They have siblings over there— people that they grew up with. Proper mortal-side siblings. I've never had that. Even my godly siblings are... not entirely here, I guess I would say."

Nico looked away. "It's like choosing between two families," Nico said. "They can't choose. So we're going to wait for a sign. And I guess I'll wait here until I'm able to find out my purpose."

"Like I said, you're not used to being tied down, are you?" Nieva smiled. Nico returned the smile.

"Not at all. Even when I had a place at one of the Olympian camps, I never really stayed in one place for too long. I haven't been to school since I was ten years old," Nico chuckled.

Nieva's eyebrows raised, blinking in surprise.

"Are you serious?" she laughed incredulously. "You haven't been to school since you were ten?"

"Nope," Nico said, bringing his cocoa to his lips. "I didn't know how to enroll, and even when I did make my way into a classroom with kids my age, I could never keep up. I also don't like staying in one place for too long."

"But Nico," Nieva insisted, "You've got to know basic algebra _at least_. Fifth grade math, right? You haven't had pre-algebra even. And you're fifteen years old."

"Yeah," Nico shrugged. "I don't know how math is going to help me fight monsters or save your camp—"

"No, you don't understand." Nieva folded her hands and pushed her tea aside, leaning forward. "It's just a basic level of knowledge that one should have. It doesn't matter if you use it practically, the ability to think abstractly is an incredibly important one. Your friend Leo? He has basic knowledge of higher forms of calculus. He studies advanced physics on his downtime. We were talking a bit one night. He has an analytical brain that functions faster than anyone I've ever met. He uses physics and math almost constantly, just as a part of his day. How would you feel if he knew that you didn't know the Pythagorean theorem?"

"The what?" Nico said uneasily. He was certain that Leo would never make fun of him for his lack of knowledge, or would he? Would he treat Nico differently? Did Leo really think about math and science that much?

"Look, all I'm saying is that you should at least _try_ to make up for lost time."

"Is it because it would be embarrassing for me not to know what a square root is?" Nico said defensively. "Because I think I can deal with that sort of humiliation."

"No, that's not it." Nieva frowned and sighed, leaning back in her chair. She looked as though she was trying to compose her words carefully. "You were around that daughter of Athena, right? Knowledge and wisdom aren't just about experience, whatever the empiricists say. You need to learn about the world around you and all the rules it follows. You don't have to know them inside and out, but to know the basics of this reality is a duty you have as a human being. Language, history, the fact that two gasses come together and make a liquid— these are all things that people know as casual facts. You're intelligent, Nico, but to be ignorant to something as simple as elementary school basics would make you seem like a fool."

Well now Nico just wanted to slip under the floorboards. He had an idea of what they were teaching in school, but he just didn't care at all. School was boring and compulsory and for that reason, Nico never was interested in attending it. He also hated how school reminded him of Bianca. But if this was something really so important... why hadn't anyone mentioned it to him? He knew that Percy wasn't too good at school, but he still made it through alright. Nico didn't even have time to know if he was good or bad at it.

"What do you want me to do?" Nico sighed, finally. Nieva smiled in her triumph.

"Come to my classes. Go to Sera's classes. Every day. Learn something while you're waiting for a sign. When this is all over with, maybe we can find you a good high school to enroll you in."

"If I'm caught up enough by then." Nico said. He didn't like the idea of high school, and he was pretty sure he would hate the practice of it just as much. He almost made a complaint about already having private lessons with Reilly, but he caught himself just in time.

"Do you think... do you think this would help me to learn who I am?"

"Definitely." Nieva said, sipping her tea. "Generally people favor one or the other, math or language. If you figure out which side of the brain sparks more energy, you'll probably be able to find out how you learn best, what sort of things would interest you— all those sort of things. Your first language is Italian, right? Maybe you can learn a little bit more about Italian. Laura is fluent in it. Not entirely Italian from Italy, more or less New York Italian, but she could still teach you some if you'd like."

Nico sat forward, actually interested. He hadn't spoken much Italian since he came here— and there was no one who was able to understand him in the first place. Leo's Spanish was kind of close, but it wasn't close enough for them to have a successful conversation.

"I didn't know Laura spoke Italian," Nico said. "You really think she can teach me more about the language?"

Nieva nodded. "Definitely. She's a great teacher, from what I hear of the children of Hypnos and Somnus. Maybe you can even get some lessons from Reilly."

Nico flushed. "Wh-what?"

"He's the best at finding latent powers. I bet you have dozens of little helpful powers that you haven't discovered yet." Nieva said.

"Oh. Yeah." Nico nodded. "While I'm at it, why don't I just take lessons with Lysander too, round out my curriculum?"

"Yeah, why not?" Nieva grinned. Nico sighed.

"That sounds like a lot of work."

"You could benefit from a structured schedule." Nieva bowed her head. "And it's not any more than everyone else does here. Mondays and Wednesdays you can go to Power Control and English and History. Tuesdays and Thursdays you can go to the sparring ring and be with me for Math and Science. Everyone takes classes with me, besides the directors. So it's a pretty big class, but I'm an organized teacher. These kids generally learn best when they don't feel like the teacher is breathing down their neck anyway."

"So, what, you've just decided for me?"

"Yes," Nieva said, standing up and stretching. "You should start tomorrow. I'll go inform everyone of your decision."

"You mean _your_ decision," Nico grumbled into his cocoa.

"I still expect to see you tomorrow regardless." Nieva's voice was further than a command, it was as though her decision was a complete inevitability. No one would defy her, that would be inconceivable. "Get some rest. You've got a long day tomorrow."

* * *

Crawling in bed that night, Nico didn't know if he'd ever get to sleep. There were too many things bumping around in his head.

"Psst," a voice hissed from the other bunk beds. Nico prayed that it wasn't Reilly, he was still trying to get over his embarrassment from earlier that night.

"Hm?" Nico grunted, pretending to be tired.

"Nieva said that you were going to come to battle training tomorrow morning," Lysander said excitedly. Nico sighed in relief.

"Yeah, I guess I am."

"Get some rest, novice di Angelo. We're gonna get you worked up tomorrow,"

" _Novice_?" Nico snorted.

"Ten AM, nice and sharp," Lysander sang. "Now to bed with you."

Nico groaned. He didn't usually get up until midday at the earliest. Nico closed his eyes and sighed again. Suddenly, as though an angry mother had come into his head and flipped the light switch off, he was diving into unconsciousness. The last conscious thought Nico had was, _Laura..._ before chuckling and falling to sleep.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> yep, so no sex yet. No sex for a couple chapters, and even then it's only as descriptive as I deemed necessary. Nico's found himself enrolled in Camp Nyx school! It would be a high school, only Nico's sort of just barely in fifth grade. So he's got a lot of catching up to do. This is just the best way I saw to pass time! Thank you for reading, and please review!


	6. Chapter 6

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> NSFW things in this chapter! I'm posting two chapters today because Spring Break is coming up and I don't know when I'm going to have reliable internet again. So yep!

The next month was easily the most difficult month Nico had ever experienced in his entire life. Every moment was filled with some activity— be it a math lesson or a History lecture. He was responsible of turning in class assignments and had to write essays about current events around the world. He thought that since he knew the teachers they wouldn't be too hard on him. He was entirely wrong.

Seraphim was entirely Seraphim in everything they did. They often went on related tangents about how history repeats itself and several examples of this around the world. Nieva was _very_ Nieva in her classes as well. She was an entirely no-nonsense teacher that didn't permit anyone to speak while she did. The entire camp would sometimes go with Seraphim and Nieva to the local town and use the local library as a reference for their research papers.

Lysander and Reilly were the same as Nieva and Seraphim when it came to teaching. Lysander had indeed taken it easy on Nico when Nico had sparred with him before heading to the Cult. He'd quickly lost the title of novice, but he wasn't a true match for Lysander's agility. His skill reminded Nico almost forcibly of Percy. He was just as cocky when he won, to say the least.

Reilly had stepped more into a teacher role when he addressed Nico, and it was strange for Nico to accept at first. Before Nico had accepted Reilly's offer to teach him, Reilly almost seemed like he was going to be a friend, but now Reilly was polite and often praising. It was nice, Nico decided, even it was a little strange fro someone his own age to be in a position above him. Though it was true that Reilly knew an awful lot about a wide variety of subjects. It was hard to tell just looking at him, but he was extremely intelligent.

Nico found out within the first two days of power control training that he had a number of hidden powers. He was able to summon Death Mist, not only control what was already there. This was rare, apparently, because many people were surprised and impressed. Control over the Death Mist was how he was able to make it through Tartarus without too much monster interference, but his mistake was that he was pulling life from his own aura. The key, Reilly said, was to pull the life out of the things around you, plants, monsters, even from the air around, if it's highly oxygenated. Nico didn't exactly like the idea of stealing life for his own use, but he mastered the technique anyway.

Every night Nico would flop into his bed, completely exhausted. His appetite had increased drastically. He wasn't used to using this much energy every day. His internal clock screamed at him for defying its 5 year pattern, but Nico pushed on and tried his best to fight his fatigue. Sometimes he would miss his secret lessons with Reilly and he would get scolded and be forced to sit in his lectures for eight hours to make up for lost time. He would often fall asleep in the bed of the Room. He would wake up nude, tucked in, and comfortable.

Nico had gotten over his initial embarrassment of his required nudity in front of Reilly. In fact, it was almost second nature to be nude in front of him. They'd gotten through concepts and taken notes on the different types of sex; penetrative ones like anal and vaginal, non-penetrative ones like oral and mutual masturbation, and several variations of possibilities. Nico had written a paper on the differences between Eastern and Western concepts of sex, contrasting Hindu and Christian ideologies of sex. He was really enjoying all of his lessons, even if he fell asleep aching. It was a good kind of ache, Nico decided.

Nico stepped into the room tonight, dropping his bag down heavily and making up the bed before Reilly showed. The day was a tough one, he just took a test in math that he hadn't prepared for. Seraphim sprung a grammar quiz on all of them, Lysander had insisted that Nico learn how to use nun chucks, and Reilly had tested Nico's powers as ghost King by making him summon and control a Hun warrior. It was not an easy day at all, and Nico had filled up on dinner and was ready to fall asleep.

"What are you doing lying in bed before we've even started?" Reilly asked as he stepped into the room. Nico was already nude, but he had curled up in the bed, just to take a quick nap before Reilly showed. It hadn't been a full five minutes when Reilly arrived. Nico stood up groggily.

"I thought you'd be excited for today," Reilly said, dropping his bag down next to Nico's. "or did you stop reading the syllabus?"

"No one reads the syllabus past the first week and half," Nico said, yawning.

"I don't understand why they don't just tack the syllabus up on the wall and make sure they know what's coming up, or they'll be surprised and embarrassed that they've got practical exams coming up."

"What?" Nico sighed. "Are you testing me?"

Reilly leaned on one hip, shaking his hair out of his face and holding the sheet of paper out in front of him.

"Masturbation— practical application," He read out loud, clearly. Nico froze. He'd done nothing but sit in a chair and took notes from power points that Reilly had prepared. He'd forgotten the whole reason that he was here in the first place. "To be able to touch oneself with confidence." Reilly folded the paper and stuffed it into his bag. He crossed his arms and smirked.

"I guess I'm not... prepared..."

"I think you're surprised, but I wouldn't say that you're not prepared." Reilly reasoned. He pulled out the projector and turned it on. "The homework was to think about what arouses you. Did you do it?"

"Uh..." Nico remembered Reilly saying something about it last night, but he didn't really put much thought into it. He'd been too anxious for his math test. "kind of?"

"Alright, what do you have?" Reilly said.

"I... well... incest..." Nico said, feeling his face heat up.

"Father and son, or—"

"No! No, brothers. Twins, I guess... it would be."

"Okay," Reilly said, scribbling something in his notebook. "Anything else?"

"Uh... what else would there be?" Nico asked, scratching the back of his neck. Reilly pursed his lips and sighed. He sat at the end of the bed and Nico sat tentatively at the other end.

"Nico, these lessons haven't been too personal until now. It's going to change drastically from this day on. What you just went through was a sort of modified version of what I teach my brothers and sisters. It's going to change from here on out. It's going to be intense."

"Uh..." Nico responded. "What do you want me to do?"

"I want you to tell me about every single dirty fantasy you've ever had. I want you to tell me about the sick guilty pleasures that you think that are exclusive to you." Reilly's voice was deep and sultry, Nico felt himself blush at it.

"I haven't had time to think about that stuff. Honestly, I thought the brothers thing was dirty in the first place. Does it get worse?"

"Oh, it gets much stranger. But we'll work with that today. You'll figure out more once you start getting into it," Reilly said, turning around to the laptop. He went into one of his folders and a wide array of still images of porn appeared on the large display. Nico gasped, covering his mouth to hide the sound. He flushed and looked at it. There were twins of all sorts, skinny, thick, hairy— kissing each other, locked in a tight embrace. There were animated twins, twins on the beach, twins in public— it was a huge database of twins.

"What—?"

"This," Reilly held up a dictionary-sized box, "is the greatest collection of porn ever assembled. Not all of it is legal, but _all_ of it is created without hurting the actors or actresses, from reputable companies. It's essentially a birthright of every child of Eros once they turn eighteen. I'm borrowing Lysander's."

Nico didn't know what to say. He was still staring in incredulity as Reilly scrolled down to see page after page of twins.

"Ah, I think this one is good." Reilly double-clicked it, and a still of several wide-shouldered boys were playing soccer. The twins were easily recognizable, they were the tallest and broadest. Nico's hand was still covering his mouth. Reilly turned to him.

"I want you to lie back on the pillows and watch this. It's only about a half an hour. You don't have to do anything, but if you feel so inclined—"

"I can't just—!" Nico breathed, his head light. He could feel himself hardening in anticipation. "What are you going to do? Just sit there and watch me? Like some voyeur?"

"I told you. If you can undress me yourself, I'll do whatever you tell me to." Reilly said simply. It was as though he knew Nico wouldn't be able to do it. Nico wanted to go hide in the bathroom, or take a shower until he could wash the desire off of his skin. Just looking at Reilly was making him feel a little more aroused. Nico swallowed and looked down at the bed spread.

"I liked it better when I was just taking notes." Nico murmured.

"If you want to get better, you have to go forward," Reilly said. Nico knew this. He looked up at the frozen image of the boys playing soccer and pushed himself onto the bed stiffly, relaxing his hands in his lap and nodded.

"Should I play it?"

"Yeah," Nico whispered. He finally looked up at the screen as they all started to play.

* * *

Nico had heard a lot about porn. He'd heard jokes about plumbers and pizza and he'd never really understood them. He'd never watched porn in his life until now, and even though he understood the jokes now, he didn't see what was so funny about them.

The soccer team's two star players were the brunette twins, Kyle and Ryan. They were just as touchy as any other twins that Nico had seen, often clapping each other on the shoulder or tackling the other as a joke. Kyle and Ryan were the last two to take their showers, they had taken extra time to practice. They showered together, and Nico was actually surprised to see that they were allowed to show the penis on screen. He swallowed and bunched his hands into fists as they soaped each other up and dried each other off. When they went home to their shared bedroom, the tension was as high as it could've possibly been. Ryan drove the car and Kyle teased Ryan as he drove, causing him to moan and hit Kyle jokingly.

They were alone in their room, pulling at each other's clothes and running their hands all over each other's bodies. It was like a mirror making love to itself. Nico felt his jaw chattering with adrenaline, he could feel his heart thumping in his chest.

"Oh god," Nico whispered as Kyle pulled Ryan's hair back, exposing his neck. Nico couldn't help it. He knew that he could touch himself at any moment, and he was beginning to feel like he should, but a little spot of pain in the back of his mind told him that he shouldn't. This was different though. It was his own body, he could do as much as he wanted with it.

Ryan laid down on his back and Kyle whispered 'I love you' to him as he slid into Ryan. Nico couldn't help it, he pressed his cock down with his palm and pressed it against his thigh. It was relieving some of his tension, and adding more pleasure. Yes, this was good. Nico was very aware of Reilly beside him, and he turned for a moment to look at Reilly. Reilly's jaw was tight, but his eyes were glassy and loose, like he was being effected by the pair. He was staring fixedly at the screen. Nico turned back and watched as Ryan hissed and moaned. Nico palmed his dick into his thigh even harder, biting his lip to stifle his own moans.

This was _completely_ different than what he'd experienced with Succubus, though he did feel pleasure. He was able to focus on the boys fucking in front of him as a sort of distraction. He was allowed to feel this pleasure without thinking about Succubus. Nico took his cock in hand and began pumping it. This was right. Nico bucked his hips a little bit, wanting Kyle to rub up against Ryan. He was acutely aware of Reilly's presence, and he heard his breathing become huskier and huskier. Was he enjoying this? Nico half-wished that Reilly would reach his arm out and just touch Nico, even if it was something as innocent as on the chest or arm.

"What are you feeling?" Reilly asked.

"Oh, shut the fuck up," Nico moaned, rolling head back, pumping himself harder. He pressed a hand to his chest and rubbed his hard nipples under palm. It felt good, he needed more of it, more of it—

And suddenly it pattered down, down, down into a sick feeling in his stomach. He couldn't explain it. It was like a negative orgasm, like he had fallen off the mountain he was climbing. Nico felt dirty and exposed and the porn before him seemed ugly. He stopped his hand and froze, his breath heavy and his eyes misting with tears. He raised his knees and uncurled his fingers from his cock. No, something— something was wrong—

"Nico?"

He was in charge of his own body! What was happening? Nico was shivering, his pleasure waning from his body, welcoming in a hideous sense of disappointment. Nico tried to block out the sounds of Ryan and Kyle completing their lovemaking and lying together on the bed in ecstasy.

"I don't... I don't know what happened." Nico panted. "It just... it just sort of went away."

"It may be some sort of defense mechanism," Reilly whispered, clearing his throat. He said much stronger, "Some sort of limit to your pleasure before your brain just taps out. You just have to teach your brain the difference between foreign and self made pleasure."

"It felt different," Nico said, still unable to look at Reilly. "It felt like I could... like I could actually be normal."

"That may change when another person is involved," Reilly said, shifting his shirt and going to turn off the completed movie. "You'll have to convince yourself that the pleasure that the other person is giving you is what you have allowed to happen."

"Okay," Nico said. That was only the first half hour of their four hours here. What were they going to do for the rest of it? "Am I going to try again?"

"Not unless you want to." Reilly said, clicking around for files. He brought up a power point called 'Kinks'. Nico didn't know if he wanted to try or not. He still felt a lingering sense of desire in the pit of his stomach. He looked at the lines of Reilly's body, reaching over to the computer to configure the computer. He watched as Reilly's curly hair fell over his face. He saw the smallest bit of skin of Reilly's hip calling out to him. Nico felt himself climbing back up to arousal again. He didn't know if he would be able to pay attention to what Reilly was saying as opposed to how Reilly's lips bent when he was saying it.

"Oh..." Reilly smiled at Nico. "Do you want to masturbate to my lecture instead of listening to it?"

Nico hadn't even realized that he had been palming his dick thoughtlessly. Nico blushed. His mind was clouded with desire, but it wasn't a bad sort of cloud. He knew he was safe right now, and the cloud was almost like a tease instead of a crux.

"I..." Nico breathed. "I don't know what... I want to do."

"I can put on another video—"

"I want you to be nude too," Nico burst out, half-breathy. Reilly raised his eyebrows. He set down his pointer and held his arms over his head.

"Then undress me."

Nico froze, his mind in a haze. He certainly felt more confident in this state. He was reacting to his desires. His groin reigned his actions rather than his brain. Nico stood and walked across the room towards Reilly. Reilly couldn't possibly find him attractive, When he first undressed his expression alluded that he was neither disappointed nor impressed with Nico's body. But Nico had wanted this for a while. He wanted to pull Reilly down to an equal standing with him. Nico came closer and closer to Reilly, still walking on swollen feet, and pulled the shirt over Reilly's head. His chest was soft, his stomach had the beginning indents of future muscles. Nico wanted to touch them, but he didn't know if he was allowed. The pants were more difficult. Nico didn't want to touch anywhere near Reilly's groin, he didn't know if he was ready for it yet. Nico rolled Reilly's jeans button in between his thumb and first finger, but he couldn't bring himself to unbutton it. Nico hesitated and dropped his hands.

"I... I'm not ready." Nico admitted, defeated.

"I'll be here when you are," Reilly whispered, his breath sweet on Nico's face. Nico moaned. He wanted to press himself against Reilly, but at the same time he was afraid of trusting him. Nico crawled back to the bed and pulled his notebook to his lap. He started to take notes on all the different types of kinks that people found sexy, forcing himself to be a passive observer as he choked down his shame.

* * *

Nico wasn't able to finish that night, but before they left the room, Reilly helpfully dropped his libido down to zero. It shocked Nico, but he was very thankful of it.

"It sucks when you're horny somewhere and not able to rub one off," Reilly said, shrugging at Nico's thanks. "It's the easiest way to overcome sexual frustration."

"Tell me the truth," Nico said, as they walked up the stairs together. "Did I do horribly? Am I doing worse than you expected?"

"You're actually doing much better," Reilly said. Nico scoffed. "No, no it's true. I hadn't imagined that you would be able to touch yourself so quickly. I think I'm going to move up the schedule a little bit, just to put you under some pressure. Less note-taking and more practical work."

"If you think that's a good idea," Nico said, anxiously. "You really think that I'm doing well enough?"

"Certainly," Reilly said. "Do you want to get cocoa, or is it off to bed with you?"

"I'm going to sleep," Nico sighed. "It's nonstop every single day here, isn't it?"

"Pretty much," Reilly chuckled. "I'll see you tomorrow."

"See you," Nico said. He flopped down on his bed and fell asleep without even changing out of his clothes.


	7. Chapter 7

Nico stood in the hot sun, gripping his sword with both hands, breathing heavily and sweating. His arms ached and his legs were exhausted, but Lysander stood before him with a smirk on his face, his own sword raised casually, a light sweat on his own glistening skin.

Nico waited for the right time, he wanted to win. Everything that Lysander had taught him up until now was racing through his mind. He knew quite a lot about Lysander's fighting style, and Nico would continue to challenge him until he could finally win. Nico sprinted forward and rolled between Lysander's wide stance. He slashed by Lysander's feet, breaking his balance for a moment. Nico was hoping to use that moment to his advantage, but Lysander was quick and regained his footing, meeting Nico's sword with his own and feigning jabs that Nico fell for. Lysander disarmed him and kicked his sword up into his other hand, holding the point at Nico's throat. Nico sighed. _Again._

Lysander smiled and let Nico's sword clatter back down by his hand.

"You're getting quicker. I think you're building up muscle." Lysander helped Nico up off of the dusty ground. Nico scooped up his sword and held it in his hands, examining it.

"Your classes just make me hungry, I don't know about muscle." Nico sighed, stretching a sore arm. The duck and roll that Nico had attempted went a little wrong and he probably bruised an arm. Lysander took a long swig of water and poured a little bit on his head. It trickled down his neck and twisted with the sweat on his pecs. Nico forced himself not to look at Lysander's muscular, chiseled body. He was strong, but he was agile. He looked just how Nico wanted to look. Nico could honestly spend all day just looking at Lysander. He was probably the peak of masculine perfection. Nico pulled his hair back out of his face with a little rubber band, accepting the water bottle from Lysander and taking a deep drink of it as well. Lysander began to wrap his hands and wrists, and Nico found himself watching, unable to help it.

"Are you ever self-conscious? Like ever?" Nico asked. He'd been wondering about this. Children of Eros were often so physically beautiful and perfect to the eye that Nico could scarcely conceive that they had any worries about imperfections. Nico was worried about his awkwardly growing facial hair, his oily and pimply skin, his scrawny body (though he had worked up a decent amount of muscle, especially in his stomach) and his baggy eyes. Lysander looked perfect. Even the scars on his body served to add drama to his form.

Lysander frowned and looked up at Nico.

"Of _course_ I'm self-conscious. I'm not flawless, Nico. No one is."

"But you're—" Nico clamped his mouth shut and forced his eyes to avert from Lysander's face. "You're so—"

"I haven't always looked like this, you know." Lysander said gently. Nico saw as he combed his straight hair out of his face, he rubbed the pink scars on either side thoughtfully. "I've been through a lot. I've hated what I looked like, enough to be suicidal."

Nico's eyebrows shot up and he looked back at Lysander. Nico couldn't believe it. He was so breathlessly gorgeous, it couldn't be possible. Nico's mouth opened a bit.

"I've come to love my body how it is, thanks to Reilly and also Seraphim. They're both so ridiculously positive that it's almost nauseating sometimes," he chuckled. Nico still couldn't believe it. What could Lysander _possibly_ be self-conscious about?

"You're probably one of the most attractive people I've ever met," Nico said, still trying to comprehend. Lysander smiled kindly.

"That's very nice of you, Nico. But it's not how other people feel about me, it's how I feel about myself that's important. People thought I was attractive before, but I didn't feel like myself."

"Before?" Nico frowned. Lysander looked away, he dropped his shoulders.

"Slip of the tongue. I don't like telling people." Lysander murmured. "But you seem to be alright. I'm transgender, Nico."

Nico blinked a few times before it registered. Lysander? Lysander was the picture of masculinity. Transgender? Nico was finding himself surrounded by more and more people who had questioned their gender identity and really went through it. Lysander was self-conscious of his body, even though to the world he appeared as this muscular, light-stubbled, attractive man. Self-confidence really had nothing to do with anyone on the outside, it really had everything to do with, well, the self.

"Is that what you're self-conscious about?" Nico said, still in awe. Nico paused, choosing his words carefully. "It changes nothing about anything I said."

Lysander's smile was small and a little bit shy. Nico wanted to hug him, but feared that he would not want to let go.

"Do you think you would've said that before Reilly started giving you those private lessons?" Lysander asked gently. Nico flushed.

"I didn't know that you knew—"

"Oh please," Lysander waved his hand. "You think I don't notice when both of you are missing from the room? I _am_ a son of Eros, after all."

Nico nodded. "Well... he's been helping me to really understand what seems to be common knowledge for you two, I guess." Nico's tongue rolled in his mouth, the questions bubbling up behind his teeth. Before he could help it, it was out of his mouth. "Why are there more transgender and gay people here than in the real world?"

Lysander's smile widened and reached to his eyes.

"There aren't any more here than there are in the real world, Nico." Lysander said. He sat down on the bench and began watching some of the other students from a distance. "Either they're like me and want to live their life without wanting anyone to know about who they are, or they're still in the closet and not living as the gender that they feel they really are. It's hard in the mortal world."

"I just found out about one of my friends being transgender. She didn't seem like it to me until Jason told me. It was a huge shock, to be honest."

"It usually is. Some of us don't want that." Lysander looked down at his hands and rewrapped his wrists for something to do. "There are a lot of us here because we don't feel like we have to hide. When I was growing up, there weren't any role models for me to look up to. Now, over half of the directors are trans, so kids here can experiment early before they can settle in a gender they feel comfortable with. It's a blessing, and I wish the world was more like this."

"Over half?" Nico frowned. Lysander nodded.

"Me, Seraphim, and Laura."

Nico's eyebrows raised higher. "Laura?" Somehow, though, he wasn't surprised.

"She's not really in the closet about it. I don't like people mentioning my birth designation, so the directors wouldn't have told you if you had asked them, but Laura doesn't care who knows about her. She's stronger than I am."

"No, she's not." Nico said. He put a hand on Lysander's shoulder, cool with light sweat. Nico repressed the shivers to speak clearly. "You have legitimate reasons to want to live differently. Don't feel guilty because of the way you live."

"If you say so, Nico." Lysander murmured. Nico knew that there was just so much that he couldn't understand. He couldn't imagine if the whole world looked at him and insisted that he was a girl. He would get exhausted trying to constantly correct them, and maybe he would be defeated. Just the fact that Lysander was sitting here... it seemed so impressive to Nico.

"I think..." Nico murmured. "Of anyone I would be jealous of, it would be Seraphim. They have so much self-confidence... the lows must be brutal."

"It's pretty bad, yeah," Lysander smiled sadly. "They'll lock themselves in their room, no one can come in and see them except for Laura. No one knows their birth designation except Laura. We used to wonder intensely before they screamed at us."

"So you don't know?" Nico asked, surprised. He had wondered about it, but not for too long. He assumed that someone living with them for a long period of time would find out about it eventually.

"No. They're asexual, so there aren't even rumors about who they've slept with. It doesn't matter though. Pretty sure they're just smooth as a ken-doll. It's not that big of a deal." Lysander said. "Though, race does get us, eventually."

"Race?" Nico frowned. Being a demigod made race seem like such a trivial thing. He hadn't really thought about his race, though Hazel made it pretty clear to him that he was white. He guessed that Italian was considered white.

"Seraphim is Rroma, so their mother was treated like shit in England."

"Woah, Seraphim's from the UK?"

"Originally, yeah." Lysander nodded. "They never kept the accent though, they moved here when they were really young. But they like to keep their history close to them, even if it's hard to tell what they are at first."

"What about Reilly?" Nico asked. he had wondered about Reilly. Lysander chuckled.

"It's weird, because all of us are biracial, right?" Lysander said. "But Reilly is the only one who really looks biracial. He and Laila both look like they're mixed black and white, that's why his hair is so curly, Laila's is a bit silkier. They got a lot of shit about it when they were younger. Reilly, especially. I mean it's obvious that he's not white, but from that, they can't tell what he is. Is he Mexican, is he Indian? He couldn't tell you. His mom was white, and his dad is a god. He doesn't know why he looks like that, and he doesn't really care." Lysander sighed. "I'm white. Pretty sure of it, anyway. My mom died in childbirth after giving birth to us. We were put in foster care and mistreated by pretty much everyone."

Nico nodded. He didn't know if he wanted to know about Lysander's past, though he was curious about his twin. Who was his twin? Did they die? Lysander stood, Nico copied him automatically.

"But I'm giving away too much of my sob story."

"Everyone's got one here," Nico said fairly. "You said it yourself, the Greeks invented tragedy."

Lysander shrugged his shoulders. "That's true. But they also invented comedy. The only difference is the ending, and we haven't come to that point yet." He smiled, rubbed Nico's shoulder, and walked away to critique the other's forms.

Nico hadn't thought about it like that. In the future with his own boyfriend, could he look back on this and smile thoughtfully, laughing at the good parts and dulling the bad ones? Could his life have a happy ending, even after all of this pain that he'd been put through.

Nico thought about Seraphim's lectures in history. Every tragic moment in history came to an end eventually. Tragedy was not the norm in this society, so why should Nico's life follow a different path? Maybe the quality of his life was similar to the way self-confidence was. Maybe it came from within himself instead of all of the external forces forcing themselves upon him. Nico stood and sheathed his sword. He thought of Jason, his beautiful golden hair and his unbridled optimism. He was everything good about Nico's life. He embodied the hope and the beauty and the peace that filled Nico in the night and brought him to calm within. If everything that Reilly had taught him about love was true, there was nothing at all stopping Nico from loving Jason except Nico's own tentativeness. He wondered what it would be like if he just let go and loved with his entire soul. Nico wondered what it would be like if he destroyed the dam in his heart and just let his emotions free in front of Jason. He would be exposed, he would be vulnerable, more vulnerable than he had ever allowed himself to be in his whole life. Would it be worth it?

Nico thought about Jason's smile, the little scar on his lip, his deeply tanned skin, his golden hair. Nico thought about Jason's kiss and his selflessness. Nico looked up at the sky, its blue the same color as Jason's eyes, the light breeze making Nico smile in comfort. Jason Grace was worth absolutely anything.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Two chapters for today because this one was a short one! I also threw in some Jasico because Jason's not really part of what's going on, but he is definitely in Nico's mind a lot. So yep!


	8. Chapter 8

"Direct me," Reilly said as Nico came into the room. Nico barely even put his things down before he noticed Reilly already sitting on the bed, staring at Nico with intense eyes. Nico looked around for the projector to be set up, but it was put away. Reilly did say that he wanted less note-taking and more practical exercises...

"I don't understand your meaning..." Nico said. Reilly stepped out of the bed, his footsteps as light as air. He was beautiful, flaunting his Renaissance era softness. So much of his aura had changed... this is what Nico expected when he saw a sexual expert.

"You are going to come from masturbating, and then you are going to direct how I can please you." Reilly said, looking up at Nico through his eyelashes. Nico was trembling.

"But first," Reilly said, turning around and walking a few steps away so Nico could capture the full image of Reilly. "You are going to undress me."

Nico was completely taken aback by this. Reilly had played such a fantastic teacher, he rarely joked around with Nico anymore, and then suddenly here he is leaping at Nico like an alley cat in heat. Nico swallowed nervously, hesitating before making another move.

Nico stepped towards Reilly, just a couple inches shorter than him. He touched Reilly's cheek and brushed a lock of curly hair from his face. He pulled Reilly's shirt over his head, touching his stomach and chest tentatively before gaining the courage and popping open the button on Reilly's pants. He pressed them down with his knees and traced his hands up the sides of Reilly's hips.

"I'm not... uh..." Nico breathed. "I don't know if I want you to touch me yet, though." Nico admitted.

"You can just touch me, if that's what makes you comfortable." Reilly said. Nico shivered and closed his eyes before yanking Reilly's boxers down his legs. Reilly stepped out of both legs, standing before Nico just as bare as Nico had stood before him. Nico's heart caught in his throat, he could feel it pumping through his body. Nico quickly stripped himself of his own clothes and found his way back to Reilly, holding his hand and staring at him. He drank in every ounce of Reilly's porcelain skin, the moles at the rise of his hip bones, the light brown hairs on his lower stomach. He was absolutely gorgeous.

"You know when we were watching that porno a couple days ago..." Reilly whispered, sending tremors through Nico's soul. "I was watching you... I was watching you and you were so hot—"

"S-stop." Nico gasped, backing away. Reilly stayed where he was, his head bowed.

"I'm sorry," He said quickly. Nico nodded, sitting on the bed. He looked up at Reilly, still nude and beautiful, but not painfully so. Speaking was Succubus's territory, and when Reilly talked dirty like that, Nico couldn't help but to panic, even if just a little bit. He beckoned for Reilly to sit next to him and Nico sat against the pillows of the bed. Nico didn't know what to do next. Reilly had told him to masturbate and then direct him... but he didn't know if he could. He needed to watch something to distract himself, but Reilly wasn't using the projector.

"Can we watch a video?" Nico asked tentatively. Reilly shook his head apologetically.

"You need to find pleasure from within you. I know you can do it. The video is a shortcut, and I know you have it within you to ignite your own pleasure."

Nico sighed, still trembling, though the room was quite warm. Nico sat on his feet and frowned. How was he supposed to masturbate then? Nico rolled his dick in his hand thoughtfully, uncertainly. Reilly was sitting up, watching Nico's face.

"You too, then." Nico said, looking over at Reilly. "If I'm doing it, then you have to do it."

"What, masturbate?" Reilly said, grinning. "Okay, should be no problem."

Nico had no idea what he had just done. He had just said it to goad Reilly for some reason. But maybe... maybe watching Reilly reach sexual states like he had watched the boys in that video... maybe it would provide the same distraction.

"Here— right here," Nico pointed in front of him as he knelt on the bed. Reilly shifted himself so that he was right before Nico. Nico looked at Reilly's face and caught his brown eyes. He smiled.

"Well the guest has the first move," Reilly said. Nico rolled his eyes, but he closed his eyes and began to pump himself lightly. He didn't even know if he would be able to get hard. The room was so quiet and there was so much pressure on him to get things right. Reilly thought that he was doing better, but what if he flatlined like he did the last time he had tried to masturbate? What if this was all going to—

Reilly breathed a high moan. Nico's head flew up. Reilly's cock was already hardening in his hand. Though the moan was soft and little, Nico caught it.

"I'm— sorry, I may be a little..." Reilly's voice was breathy. He was already turned on. Maybe it had something to do with his parentage, but that was still impressive. Nico raked his eyes up and down Reilly's body. Nico felt his heart leap in his chest. This was what it looked like when someone was aroused in front of him. "Loud... I mean, these walls are sound-proof, but I'm—"

Nico watched Reilly rock back and forth, getting into his motion well. Nico drank in his moans, he was quiet himself. Nico stroked himself and tried positioning his hand differently, just like what one of the powerpoint slides had told him to do. Some felt better and some weren't all that great. He would mimic Reilly's hand movements to try and feel what Reilly was feeling. And holy shit, Reilly knew what he was doing.

Reilly opened his eyes half-lidded, his cheeks red from heat, his other hand behind him, laced through his toes. He smiled at Nico.

"Can I..." Reilly bit his lip. "Fuck, Nico," he dropped his head back and moaned.

Nico worked himself faster and faster, wanting to reach out and grab Reilly, but terrified beyond anything that Reilly would grab him back. Reilly was moaning and murmuring things, but he looked absolutely beautiful, he looked whole. This was how Reilly was meant to be seen. This was his natural form, his completed self. Nico was so unbelievably turned on by this, that he didn't know if he'd ever be able to see Reilly differently. He felt natural pleasure was washing over him, he was shaking his hips as he willed himself to finish this time.

"I'm com—I'm coming," Reilly cried. Nico had to reach out and touch Reilly's inner thigh, rubbing it and feeling its warmth. He wanted to feel Reilly tense as he came, he wanted to feel Reilly beneath him—

Before Nico could even tell what was happening, his own orgasm hit him as a surprise. Nico cried out, begging. He had flashes in his mind that seemed so pure that they felt pre-Succubus. He saw Jason and Percy and Reilly, and he bucked his hips and pressed himself closer and closer to Reilly as Reilly panted in his after orgasm state and Nico rode out his own orgasm. Reilly didn't touch Nico, not even to stroke his arm or even hold his hand. Nico moaned against Reilly's body, his hot, living body, and he rode it out until he was completely exhausted.

They both sat there in silence, Nico found himself in a one-armed hug against Reilly, as though he had reached out and subconsciously pulled Reilly closer. Reilly didn't return the hug, it was as though he was waiting for Nico's permission to do so.

"I..." Nico breathed, swallowing and panting. He released Reilly and Reilly gave him a half-lidded look of bliss that Nico felt obligated to smile at.

"Not bad, di Angelo," Reilly murmured, moving his stiff body around to grab the kleenex beside the bed and wipe up their evidence. "Maybe it's the Blessing in you."

"What?" Nico said, his eyes still hazy. "That didn't feel like a super-intense orgasm. It just felt like a regular one."

"Oh, you'll have them, when you're ready." Reilly said, nodding. "But that wasn't bad for your first orgasm since the Demoness, I'd say." He pointed out, curling up beside Nico.

Nico raised his eyebrows at this realization. He'd thought that any orgasm would've been impossible after what he'd been through. Reilly had put so much time and effort to have Nico arrive at this point. He was getting stronger, and it was all thanks to Reilly. Nico looked down at Reilly. He was so cute. He was so damned attractive it almost seemed unfair. Nico laid down, holding his head up with a hand and reaching out to pull a curl from Reilly's face.

"You're gorgeous," Nico said, finally voicing his thoughts for the first time since he met Reilly. Even though he was certainto get it all the time, Reilly smiled and looked away for a moment.

"Thank you," He murmured. "You're really hot too."

Nico snorted. He was covered in scars and was bony and pale. There was nothing _hot_ about him. He even had poor circulation in his hands and feet, Jason would often complain if one of his icicle feet touched his thigh in the middle of the night. Reilly was probably just talking through his post-orgasm haze.

"I mean it," Reilly said firmly. "Why do you think it was so easy for me to get it up? Because I've been waiting to do that since I first saw you undressed."

Nico's eyes widened in surprise. "But— but I'm—I'm only—"

"Only the most powerful demigod I've ever met. Only the best smirk I've ever seen. Honestly, your little snarky smile could rip the pants off of someone in a heartbeat. The way you carry yourself, and the way you've been regaining your confidence—" Reilly took a breath. "You're so fucking sexy, Nico, I have no idea how you can't see it."

Nico was speechless. Was all of that really true of him? Could he really... what... smirk the pants off of someone? Reilly had said that attractiveness was almost half confidence. What would change if Nico had some of that confidence? Nico sat back up, looking down at the slowly blinking Reilly.

"You told me that you wanted me to direct you?" Nico asked. Reilly nodded, still curled up in his adorable fetal position. "Well... I... I want you to... to kiss me." Even as he said it, Nico felt a twinge of guilt. What would Jason think, if Nico was kissing anyone but him? What would it feel like, kissing Reilly? Would it be like Succubus? Or would it be like Jason?

Reilly sat up, leaned close to Nico and kissed him, simply. It wasn't like Succubus or Jason. It was like Reilly. The kiss was short, but Nico learned so much in the second that they connected. Succubus's kisses felt like Nico was connecting his spirit to another through lips. When she kissed him, Nico felt the whole world disappear, smelling like coffee and the ocean, so delicious and perfect. When Jason kissed him, Nico smelled a natural nutty scent of his skin, felt the suction of two pairs of dried lips, and trembled with nerves. When Reilly kissed him just now, Nico felt a twinge of excitement, smelled the light sweet scent of the sweat on Reilly's upper lip. Nico watched as Reilly backed away from the kiss still smiling a little half-asleep smile.

Reilly had tried to tell him that everyone is different when it comes to kissing, love, and sex. Reilly told him that every single person had their own quirks when it came to kissing and expressing their pleasures. It had just seemed like a theory until now. Nico smiled, happy in his realization.

"That's all you got?" Nico joked.

"This is your call, captain." Reilly said, bowing his head politely. "I'm not put one hand on you that you haven't directed me to. I'm essentially a doll, made to do your bidding. _You_ tell me how to please you. To do this, you have to know what you want, have the confidence to ask for it, and all the while, you're gaining control back over your own pleasures."

Nico chewed the inside of his mouth, his heart beating quickly. So this _was_ actually a lesson. It had begun to feel more like a throw away night. Nico was so used to taking notes that this was an interesting but not unwelcome change. Nico placed a gentle hand on Reilly's face and brought him into a kiss. He split Reilly's lush lips apart with his tongue and slipped it into his mouth. Reilly mimicked Nico's actions, but his tongue was much nicer than Nico imagined his own was. Nico kissed him deeper, pulling Reilly closer to him by pressing his hand on Reilly's lower back.

 _It's okay,_ Nico thought. _You can do this._

"Can you..." Nico breathed, "You said that you were good at oral the first— the first day that—"

"Tell me what to do, Nico. Don't be afraid of being creative," Reilly whispered. Nico shuddered and swallowed.

"Suck on my neck," Nico said, "K-kiss my neck—"

Reilly dove in immediately, kissing and licking Nico's neck, biting and sucking spots on him. Nico had done this as a type of test. Succubus liked to do this with him, but the pleasure he received from Reilly's tongue felt so different than the pleasure he received from Succubus.

"Kiss d-down my chest," Nico said. Reilly obeyed. There was room for error here. Nico felt his foot start falling asleep beneath him. He Reilly would make little shifts in his body or his hands would slip due to sweat. Reilly reached Nico's groin, still kissing around his lower stomach. Nico moaned.

"Do it, t-take it," Nico demanded. Reilly looked up at him for a moment before swirling his tongue around Nico's erect head and taking Nico into his soft mouth. Nico grabbed the sheets beside him and cried out loud. Reilly still wasn't perfect. This was sex. _This_ was what sex was all about. He felt Reilly's teeth clash awkwardly sometimes, making up for it with deep motions and subtle brushes. Succubus was too perfect. Reilly made little mistakes. In those mistakes, Nico invested his feeble and shaking trust. With that trust, Nico found a place to let go. Nico felt _pleasure._

* * *

Little by little, over the next two weeks, Reilly made more and more moves without Nico's commands, but not without his consent. Nico could stop him with a single word, and that alone felt like a superpower. Nico liked making Reilly orgasm. He liked seeing Reilly's face twist into pleasure because of what his calloused, inexperienced hands were doing. Nico almost liked it more than feeling an orgasm himself. They tried newer things, Nico discovering his own kinks while learning how to cater to Reilly's. Whenever Nico went down into that room, undressed Reilly and himself, and kissed him into that bed, he was certain that another door was unlocking within himself. Nico traced his hands all over Reilly's body and at the same time, Nico felt like he was tracing his own hands all over himself.

Nico and Reilly had just finished a more energetic lesson of Reilly's and Reilly had turned out the lights and dug himself back into the bed. Sometimes they did this. If they were too tired to head back up to their bedroom, they would lie in the room and fall asleep together. It was great and it was awful because Nico would be reminded of Jason. In the half-asleep moments, Nico would pretend that it was Jason's body warm against his own. When Nico fell asleep with Reilly, though, he was the big spoon.

Nico and Reilly were half asleep, Reilly murmuring about some great student in his power control class, and how he had so many powers for a son of Nyx. Nico was just nodding, giggling at Reilly's yawning rambles.

"You're so stupid," Nico mumbled.

"You're stupid," Reilly countered.

"I'm not the one insisting on talking after sex," Nico said, burying his face into his pillow, drifting off into sleep.

"Excuse me if I was looking for an intelligent conversation," Reilly murmured, pressing close to Nico's body. Nico wrapped an arm around him, laughing. A soft light began to glow behind him, illuminating Reilly's curly hair.

"Yeah, intelligent conversation with my dick against your stomach. Really smart, Reilly, got that one down." Nico chuckled.

"Whatever, di Angelo," Reilly said, looking up at his face. His attention turned behind Nico, and Nico felt Reilly's body tense.

"What?" Nico groaned.

"Uh— I didn't mean—" Nico turned around quickly, opening his eyes unevenly. That was Jason's voice.

"Jason?" Nico asked, still trying to rub the impending sleep out of his eyes. He tried as hard as he could to focus on the Iris message.

Jason wouldn't look at Nico. "I... I can see that you're busy—"

"So _this_ is Jason!" Reilly said, sitting up. Nico closed his eyes and prayed for Reilly to stop talking immediately. "I finally get to see what this son of Jupiter looks like."

"I... yeah, hi." Jason's voice was dull.

"I'm Reilly Hinton, son of Eros." Reilly said, smiling and leaning against Nico's shoulder. Nico shrugged him off and Reilly fell to the bed. "Spoilsport." He whined at Nico.

"Nice to meet you," Jason said. "Look, you're obviously in the middle of—"

Reilly shook his head. "Nope, actually, just at the end of it—"

"For Fuck's sake, Reilly!" Nico cried, whipping around to face Reilly. Reilly shrugged his shoulders, blinking innocently.

"What? I was only—"

"Reilly, Can you give us some privacy?" Nico sighed. Reilly looked from Jason to Nico. He shrugged and hopped off the bed, walking back to the bathroom, just as nude as ever. Jason blushed as Nico realized this. Nico turned around and angrily threw Reilly's boxers at him, Reilly catching them with a laugh. He clicked the light on in the room and exited to the bathroom.

"This is my _friend_ that you are _just meeting_ you fucking exhibitionist!" Nico bellowed. He was actually angry at Reilly. He knew that Reilly was acting this way to put Nico in an uncomfortable situation.

Jason was quiet for a while as Nico tried to collect his words.

"Is this why you haven't called me in a month?" Jason asked sheepishly. Gods, Nico was dense. Had he really not called Jason in a whole month? Nico buried his face in his hands and sighed. It wasn't just Reilly's lessons, it was all of his schoolwork and trying to keep up with his own fluctuating diet, it was worrying about his clothes and the Cult— there were so many things. Jason found his way into Nico's mind when Nico was calmest, when he was the most okay with his world, but Nico never had the time to sit down and call him.

"Jason...." Nico said, his voice filled with pain.

"No, you don't have to say anything." Jason muttered. Nico _did_ though. Jason would misinterpret this and think that Nico had been ignoring him and that Reilly meant more to him than Jason did.

"Are you two happy together?" Jason asked. God, he was too good of a guy.

"We're not dating!" Nico insisted. "We're not even... we're just friends, he's—"

"Oh, so it's like that, then." Jason nodded. "This is what you were asking me about the last time you talked to me, isn't it?"

"Yes— but, no— you don't understand—"

"No, I don't have to really." Jason said, turning away. "It's your life and I... I guess I..." Jason took a shuddering breath. "It's selfish of me to keep insisting that I'm a part of it, no matter how small. I'm sorry that I keep reminding you of how much I care about you, and maybe it's time for me to move on—"

"No!" Nico cried. _Think, Nico, think._ He couldn't compose his thoughts into words. He couldn't say what he was feeling. Maybe that was the problem the whole time. "I— I don't want you to move on! It's not..." Nico swallowed, Jason's face frowning in the mist. "It's not like... I don't want you to feel that way about me because I want the attention or some bullshit like that. It's like... I..." He'd been thinking about this for a few days actually, when he was deep in the moment with Reilly. An epiphany had overcome Nico, and he had to explain to Jason, he needed Jason to understand. "You've done a lot for me. You've done a lot to make sure that I was safe and I was okay. And at first I thought that... I thought that it was my duty to like you in return, you know? So I didn't want to feel obligated or anything. I didn't want to like you because it was required."

Jason turned and looked at Nico now, Nico had fully organized his thoughts. Nico didn't want to say this over a message, but he had to say it somehow. He couldn't let Jason leave thinking that Nico didn't care about him deeply.

"And Reilly," Nico motioned back to the bathroom. "Reilly has done so much for me, he has helped me in ways that I wasn't able to help myself. And I expected... I expected to feel that same kind of feeling that I felt with you, you know? A deep bond of friendship. That's what I thought it was. But... I don't feel about him the same way I do you." Nico had this little speech that he went over in his head on nights when he was feeling more confident. He would sit Jason down and confess. This was nothing like those little fantasies.

"I've learned a lot about sex and love over the past month... and I've learned that... I've learned how flawed my thinking was. I learned that... It still came down to how I felt uncomfortable being gay. I guess... I saw gay relationships as cheap and pleasurable ones, like what you thought you saw right now. I thought that was it, you know? I thought that's all a romantic relationship would offer me, and that to find a real love, one like Percy and Annabeth's— I would only find that in a straight relationship. But I was just confused and wrong." Nico's heart was pounding in his chest. "I didn't want people to think that we were in a relationship, or like... I didn't want to think of us in a relationship because I didn't want people to trivialize my emotions for you. I thought that we were more important than that, that we could break a stereotype. And kissing and having sex would just... it would just make the whole thing silly. But that's _not_ it at all, and I know that now. I know who I am now, I really do."

Jason's eyes were glistening with tears, his mouth smiling a little bit.

"So— so I guess what I'm trying to say..." Nico swallowed. "Is... I'm trying to say that I really, really like you Jason. And if other people misinterpret our relationship, then fuck them. Because you... you mean the world to me, Jason. And I'm sorry that I haven't called you in a month. I've been busy with schoolwork."

Jason laughed, a tear falling over his cheek. He wiped it away and rested his chin on his hands. He must've been at the edge of a desk or something, but the effect was adorable.

"That's adorable," Nico said, voicing his praise. It was something that Reilly had taught him. Everyone benefits from a genuine and gentle compliment. Jason smiled even wider, covering his face with his hands.

"Are you being serious, Nico?" Jason asked, his voice muffled from behind his hands.

"Well I mean, that's probably the most I've spoken all year, so I better be serious," Nico said.

"You actually are making yourself better," Jason said, putting his hands down, his eyes red from crying. "You look so much better, Nico. It's not just the tan or the look in your eyes. You've got something behind your words... something that I could see was trying to make its way out."

"I have a tan?" Nico asked, looking at his chest and arms, frowning.

"You're amazing, Nico," Jason said, wiping his eyes. "I didn't tell you about how I was still sick because I was afraid of showing you my weakness. I felt like I had to be strong for you. But look at you! You're strong enough for both of us."

"I thought you didn't tell me that you were still sick because you were strong enough to get back up on your own," Nico said, surprised. Jason shook his head, embarrassed.

"I didn't tell you because I was afraid of how you would look at me. I'd always been strong and now that I wasn't... maybe I'd have no purpose for you, you know?"

Nico shook his head fervently.

"That's not true at all, Jason. "

"Yeah, yeah, I know." Jason said shaking his head. "I have this hero complex, my therapist has been helping me get through it. And I shouldn't be afraid to lean on you for help. I— I really—" Jason laughed, it bubbled into a sob.

"Oh..." Nico said, reaching out. "Jason, don't cry."

"I can't help it, you don't know how much you mean to me," Jason said, pressing his face into his hands, crying. "I'm so happy."

Nico smiled, feeling his chest swell with emotion. He wanted to be with Jason right now. He wanted to hold Jason right now and make him stop crying, or let him cry for as long as he liked.

"But... you have to understand about Reilly," Nico said, looking down at his hands. Jason wiped his eyes and he looked back up at Nico. His eyes were red and puffy, his bright blue irises even brighter among the pink of his eyes. Nico knew that he had made the right decision.

"Okay," Jason said.

"He's... he's been teaching me how to... to have sex and... and be okay with people touching me and stuff. It... okay it sounds kind of kinky and shit, but it's really not. He's just a friend and he's a son of Eros so he really knows what he's talking about—"

"I know a lot about sex too," Jason joked, his laughter watery.

"Yeah, but I had feelings for you. I went into this with Reilly with a blank slate. That's the only way it could've worked. It's hard because... I mean sometimes I'll start going into a panic attack, but he knows how to back off until I'm okay and ready to breathe. It's all a learning thing, Jason, honest."

"Is that what you were sent there for?" Jason asked rubbing his eyes some more. Nico looked away. "Also did you say that you have schoolwork? Nico, why can't you come home?"

Nico couldn't tell him. They were waiting for a sign. It seemed like they were waiting too long for this sign. Had it all been for nothing? Had Mother Night taken Nico away for nothing?

"Look, I don't know when I'll be needed, I'm sort of... on-call until—"

Reilly burst open the door, his eyes wide, looking at a handheld device. He was wearing his boxers at least.

Nico sighed, "Reilly, I'm still trying to—"

"It's important," Reilly said, looking at Nico. His eyes flashed to Jason and then back to Nico. "Something's going on at the Cult, something bad."

"Reilly, if you just want me off of the call—"

"I'm serious," Reilly snapped, throwing Nico's briefs at him. "Hurry." He sped out of the room, slamming the door behind him. Jason was frowning.

"Is that... normal behavior?"

"Only when he's in instructor mode," Nico murmured. "I think the sign I've been waiting for is here at last," Nico said, looking up at Jason. Jason's face dropped into anxiety.

"Be safe."

"I've learned a lot here. I'll be okay," Nico assured. He smiled. "I love you."

Jason's eyes widened, his mouth opened a little bit. He couldn't help but to smile in response.

"I—I love you too—"

"I'll talk to you later." Nico said. "Bye."

"Bye!" Jason laughed. Nico waved his arm through the mist, pulled on his underwear and jeans and ran out to see what was happening outside. He didn't know if he was emotionally prepared. He felt like a balloon was filling him to the brim, and that he could just float into the sky. This may be the sign that they were waiting for, but what were the chances of that? How would they know it was the right sign? Nico thought back to Jason's pink and watery face, smiling as he did so. How could anything go wrong when Nico felt so right?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I've started to feel really down about this fic. I've put so much time and effort into composing this story and I just feel like it's not as good as I think it is. Oh well. I'm going to finish it and post it, and if no one cares, at least I'll have finished it, you know? I've been drawing some of my OCs, you can find them at http://tinymicah.tumblr.com/tagged/camp+nyx Thank you for reading, if you are. I'm posting for myself, if for no one else!!


	9. Chapter 9

As it turned out "wrong" was an understatement. Nico was following the trickle of kids scuttling outside, clutching their hands against their ears or holding hands of older kids. A sickly green light streamed through the windows, extinguishing all of the oil lamps. Adder grabbed hold of the hem of Nico's shirt and Nico wordlessly took his dark little hand. Nico couldn't find Reilly in the silent crowd, but Nico saw Nieva dart past with a dagger drawn.

When they reached the outside, Nico saw clearly what was causing the eerie light and the deep-soul screaming that irritated some of the children with acute hearing. A beam split the sky, dampening the stars of the night and covering the grounds with its electric green light. Nico could hear the screaming of a thousand tortured souls and feel the warmth of hell itself blow over him in constant waves. The clouds dissolved in its wake. A few children fell to their knees, covering their ears in terror. Nico caught the whiff of pure sulfur. Nico's knees buckled beneath him when his mind connected the sensations.

Tartarus.

"Nico, are you okay?" Adder's voice was muffled, as though behind several layers of thick foam, but Nico could barely hear it. Adder tried to hold him upright, but he was failing. Another stronger pair of arms helped Nico to stand. Nico looked over to see Reilly, nude besides his boxers and a pair of slippers, his face deadly serious and aged in the unearthly green light. Nico looked at the side of his face and wanted to sob. His mind couldn't comprehend the abrupt shift in surroundings. He looked back to the green light and saw a flash of pure black wings reflect the light, before disappearing.

"Father," Matthaius's voice whispered clearly. Several heads turned behind them, and Nico saw as Matthaius spread his own cleverly concealed wings and beat them once, disappearing in a curl of black smoke.

Suddenly, the light was gone, though its afterimage burned into the retinas of the campers. The sounds stopped, but its piercing shrieks echoed in Nico's soul. The stars returned, the night moonless, and an eerie silence filled the air, pressing against Nico's mouth and nose. It was suffocating, and to make up for it, the little ones began to wail, some of the older ones joining in their panic as well.

"Reilly!" Nieva's voice bellowed across the grounds. Reilly didn't react to her voice except to look down and away from it. His grip tightened on Nico's wrist, Nico's crutch. Nieva pushed her way through the crowd and approached Nico, Reilly, and Adder with her eyes blazing with rage. How could she find the effort to feel this much emotion? "This is your fault! You traitor!"

"What?" Lysander bellowed, peeling himself from the darkness from behind Reilly. He looked impressive, though exhausted. "I'd like to hear your story for this one, Nieva."

Nieva pointed at Nico, at which Nico flinched. "He's been fucking around with Nico—our gift from Nyx—distracting him from work!"

"That's ridiculous," Lysander growled. "You think that what just happened was a direct result of Reilly teaching Nico—"

"Teaching?!" Nieva spat. "I found out about them fucking last week. I found out that these 'secret meetings' were nothing more than an excuse for two horny teenage boys to get off together!" Nieva accused. Nico flinched again. She made it seem so pointless. She turned to Lysander. "At every meeting, _every single director meeting,_ you backed him. You—both of you—insisted that your 'lessons' were important!"

Lysander shook his head, "They were—"

"Bullshit!" Nieva screamed. Makoto appeared next to Nieva, her eyes just as glittery and livid as Nieva's. Next to her a wary Seraphim walked up, their hands on Adder's shoulders. Nico couldn't understand what the big deal was.

"Nieva," Nico said. "I really did learn a lot—"

"Save your kama sutra bullshit for someone else, Nico." Nieva said. "That time you spent with your cock in his mouth could've been spent collecting information, devising tactics— learning about the enemy at _least_!"

"I still don't see how this is Reilly's fault—" Seraphim sighed.

"You're too forgiving, Sera." Nieva said. "They can't be trusted. People have died, Matthaius is out there with his father right now. I know you believe in the whole 'people can change' shit they gave you—"

"Are you suggesting—" Lysander's voice was filled with disgust. "Are you suggesting that we were in league with the Cult, and that we did this to give them a head start or something?"

Nico stared at Nieva incredulously. He glanced over at Reilly, still looking away passively, not saying anything in his own defense.

"How can we trust you?" Nieva accused. "You wouldn't tell us _what_ Reilly was doing with him, and when we found out you're trying to tell us that what he was doing could actually help—"

"It does help! Right, Reilly?" Lysander nudged Reilly. Reilly didn't respond. Lysander took a half-step back, almost imperceptible. He squared his shoulders, looking tall and impressive. "You have no grounds for your accusations, Nieva—"

"Don't we?" Makoto murmured, a quiet storm through her lightning eyes.

Seraphim covered their mouth with their hand. "Mako, we already talked about this—"

"We know that you've been contacting them." Makoto said. "My dog saw you."

Lysander froze, his eyes wide. Lysander didn't have a response. Nico couldn't believe it. He looked over at Lysander, looking like a fly caught in a web.

"It... I… I miss her, Makoto, I can't help it—" Lysander whispered. "Let... let me explain—"

"Save it," Makoto hissed. "Who knows what you could've told her? Who knows what you two could've plotted in those few moments?"

Lysander looked away, shielding his emotions.

"I knew it," Nieva said, triumphantly. "Once a Cult member, always a Cult member."

Nico didn't want to believe it. Could Lysander really be conferring with the Cult? Could Reilly? Who _was_ Reilly anyway? Not knowing very much about each other's past was a helpful link to allow Nico to detach himself from Reilly and focus on the sexual pleasure instead of the person that Reilly was... or was that just a ruse that Reilly used to keep his past a secret?

Nico slipped from beneath Reilly's arm, his heart beating wildly.

"Reilly?" Nico asked. "That's not true, is it?"

Reilly, of course, said nothing. He wouldn't even look Nico in the face.

"These two are dirty fucking traitors." Nieva spat. "Two years ago, they were once high-ranking officers of the Cult. Lysander is Oleander's twin. Identical, if it's not any worse. Reilly was Isabel's First Lieutenant and nearly became the leader of the whole shitty deal. He taught Oleander everything she knows. Every dirty trick and every torture device." Nico was backing up into Seraphim, Adder floating along with him. He didn't want to believe it.

"That's not true," Nico murmured at Nieva. He turned to Reilly, dumbstruck. "Nieva's overreacting. Say it's not true, Reilly."

Reilly didn't speak. Lysander looked up at Nico and begged with his eyes before looking away again.

"Goddammit, Reilly!" Nico screamed, breathing heavily. "Goddammit, Lysander! I trusted you both!"

"They didn't want us to tell you because they were worried about you trusting them. They were concerned about 'working as a team'." Makoto said, her voice low.

"Reilly, say something," Seraphim tried. They alone seemed to trust Lysander and Reilly. "Gods, where is Laura?" Seraphim looked around for their girlfriend, but couldn't find her.

"I can't believe you," Nico breathed. "I was just to be distracted? You were just fucking around with me?"

Reilly didn't respond. Nico surged forward and grabbed Reilly's shoulders. "ANSWER ME!" Nico bellowed in his face. Reilly turned and looked at Nico's face, his eyes sad, but his jaw set. "I didn't help them at all, no," Reilly said. Nico's heart swelled with relief, instantly trusting the words from that mouth.

"Bullshit." Nieva said. Nico knew he should feel that way too. Reilly had neglected to tell Nico some seriously important details about his history, but Nico couldn't help but to trust him. Uncertainty filled him and Nico began to feel dirty again. _Fuck._

"You're fucking with me," Nico said, releasing Reilly as though his shoulders burned the palms of his hands. "I never should've trusted any child of Eros. I should've known."

Reilly looked down, his eyes averted from Nico's gaze. In guilt or shame, Nico couldn't tell.

"I hate to break up this little play," Laura's deep, groggy voice said from the doorway. "We have a problem." Usually she looked pleasantly sleepy, now she looked haggard and exhausted. Seraphim ran to her and kissed her cheek. Nico turned his back on Reilly and walked towards Laura, willing himself not to turn around.

* * *

"Where's Matthaius?" Laura asked once everyone was seated around a table. Makoto had herded the little children and got the help of some of the older kids to get them back to bed. One of the older children of Hypnos under Laura's command went to each room and tried to make certain that they all fell asleep, even if it was a restless one. Adder protested against Makoto, but he was scolded and went to his bedroom in the end.

"He disappeared once he saw his father," Makoto said, sipping tea quietly. Lysander and Reilly sat stiffly, as though they were prisoners of war.

"That explains things," Laura said.

"What happened?" Seraphim asked. "Do you know what the light was?"

"No," Laura said. "But I know who saw it."

"Oh fuck," Nieva whispered, her breath soft. Laura nodded at her. Reilly looked up abruptly, his face filled with terror.

"A group of scouters from Camp Jupiter were surveying the area because of the disappearance of local prisoners and children from the town. I slipped into one of their minds. Not only did they see the light and who caused it, two of their number were killed in the initial blast."

Lysander cussed, Makoto's teacup clattered into its saucer, Seraphim let out a scream and Nieva stood wordlessly. Laura continued.

"They're heading back to San Francisco right now looking for reinforcements. They saw four demigods standing around a fire, eight mortals standing with them. They'll assume that any demigod in this area is practicing dark magic and will attack them."

"No..." Sera breathed, tears springing to their eyes. "No..."

"We could've had time!" Nieva banged her fist against the table. "We could've learned about this if we infiltrated them! We could've prevented this!"

"How?" Laura said calmly. Nieva froze. She collected herself immediately, crossing her arms.

"We could've been searching for the Books of Rebirth and burned them before their eyes. They would've had to surrender."

"Do you think that would honestly stop them?" Nico shook his head. "I understand your anger, but there's nothing we could've done, Nieva."

"You!" Nieva pointed. Nico hated when she pointed at him like a defendant on trial. "You could've strengthened your connections within Camp Jupiter— the praetors, when's the last time you spoke to them?"

"I spoke to Frank just a few months ago—"

"Would you consider yourself close to him?" Nieva asked.

"Not... not really. He's dating my sister, though. She's a child of Pluto, he may be sympathetic—"

"We're going to need more than sympathy," Makoto said. "We're going to need trust, genuine trust."

"I think I can get that from him." Nico said. "I may be able to stall their arrival—"

"We need more than possibilities, we need definite. How are we supposed to fight the legion? How are we supposed to even _face_ them?"

"We fight," Matthaius's quiet voice sliced them all like a sharp razor, only startling them a few silent seconds after it happened. "We aren't the same group that we were 50 years ago. We're strong, every one of us."

"We may be strong, but there aren't enough of us," Makoto said. "We should retreat. The Cult may be doing the same thing."

"They aren't." Matthaius assured. "I just spoke with Damien and let him know the situation."

"You told them?" Nieva yelled.

"The 12th fulminata's approach effects them as well as us. If both the Cult and the Camp fight against the Legion, we may be able to hold our ground." Matthaius said. "He swore on his father that he wouldn't leave and would try to rally up the energy to fight against the incoming attack."

"But they deserve it," Makoto said, frowning. "If they hadn't been messing around with dark magic—"

"If they were slaughtered, the armies would move right onto us and kill us as well." Matthaius said smoothly. "This is simply tactics, not morality. I never took you as a spiteful one, Makoto."

"I'm not," Makoto said. "But there's no denying that it's their fault we're in this mess in the first place."

"However it began, it continues now. We can not stop it." Matthaius turned his eyes to Nico and Nico flinched. "You will need to use your contacts in New Rome to try and buy us days, hours even. If you can't, try to talk about fairness, army meeting army prepared as opposed to sneak attacks. Rome enjoys meeting face to face with its enemy. At least we can prepare."

Nico's stomach squirmed. He didn't like the idea of trying to call in favors or preventing war. There was always a battle somewhere, wasn't there? There were martyrs in this war, there would be less of a chance to bargain for life-saving time. Still, he would try anyway.

"What should we do with the traitors?" Nieva spat, jerking her head towards Lysander and Reilly. Matthaius looked at Nieva with a blank stare.

"What traitors?"

Nieva frowned. "Lysander and Reilly! Oleander's twin and master! How could you not suspect them?"

"I have seen a lot in my years on Earth." Matthaius said. "I have no more reason to suspect them than I do to suspect you, Nieva. You both keep your incriminating secrets of love."

Nieva's jaw snapped shut, her eyes instantly turned away. Nico could see a light flush on her cheek, imperceptible to anyone who didn't know the straight-laced face of Nieva so well. Nico leaned in. Did Nieva have a secret also? How many secrets held this place together? Could he trust _anyone_?

"Well we found out what the sign was." Laura smiled wryly. "But it's not a sign at all. It's a time bomb."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Woah, okay sorry about being self-depreciating on the last chapter. That's not the moral of this fic at all. Thanks for all your kind words though, they're ridiculously sweet. The meat of the plot is really beginning now, and I'm excited for everyone to read it. Let me know what you think!


	10. Chapter 10

After the meeting, Nico called Frank almost immediately. Frank was asleep but after a few good yells, the bulldog woke up and popped into being as a bed-headed Frank Zhang. 

"What?" He blinked. "What is it, Nico?" 

"This is very important, Frank, please listen to me." Nico said. 

"Why are you shirtless?" Frank asked, still a few steps behind. It was hard to believe that he had been casually run his mouth up and down Reilly's body mere hours ago. Things were so different now. Nico swallowed and composed himself. 

"You are going to get a message that two of your patrolmen were killed by a blast and that the source of this blast were demigods dabbling in dark magic." 

Frank's face had sobered up, he was rubbing his face vigorously to shake the sleep off of his skin. 

"You have to at least try and delay retaliatory action for... a week or so. A few days. Let us regroup—"

" _You_ did this? You killed members of the legion?" Frank asked, frowning.

"No, no, it's a long story—"

"It better be," Frank's frown deepened. "Nico, the senate doesn't take death lightly—"

"I know, I know," Nico begged. "I just—"

"You're trying to use your friendship with me to buy time." Frank said, his voice serious. Nico hesitated, then nodded. He stood, his tall wide frame filing up the space of the Iris message. 

"I'm going to get Reyna. You're going to wait here. Then you're going to beg for your few days of time. Then we will deliberate." 

Nico saw this coming. It was as though he himself was being punished for the actions of someone else. He sat there, praying to his father and to every god of the camp to save them. When Reyna walked into the frame, she looked just as serious as ever. She could've been wearing a breastplate underneath her flannel pajamas. 

"Frank has filled me in a bit." Reyna said. "This is an awfully unprecedented reunion, Nico." 

"It was necessary, I'm sorry." 

"It's a long story, but you've got five minutes." Reyna said, looking at her watch. "Go." 

Nico took a deep breath and in his exhale he managed to tell Reyna and Frank about Camp Nyx and the Cult of Succubus. Frank had faced Succubus indirectly and still managed to curl his lip in disgust at the Cult's actions. Nico looked at Reyna when he said that they could change, and that most of them were just scared kids. Nico finished. 

"These kids sound dangerous," Frank said. "Especially if left to themselves—"

"We're just as dangerous as any other camp," Nico said. "We can take care of ourselves—"

"Then how did the Cult form?" Reyna asked. Nico knew that it was going to be asked. No other camp had an evil branch off of it. 

"Look, if the guilty party gives themselves up, would you not slaughter everyone?" 

"If there was a surrender, we would have to take everyone in custody." 

"Not everyone is guilty, though," Nico begged. "Only the Cult is, and if I can get them to give themselves up—"

"It seems unlikely that they would do so—" Frank said, 

"What else would you accept?" Nico demanded. "I'm trying to find a way to incriminate the guilty and save the innocent. There's no other way that you would stop. If a group of innocents gave themselves up as guilty to make the fighting stop, all that would happen is that the Cult would fight to their deaths, thinking that what they're doing is righteous. Please, please at least try and meet us at battle." 

Reyna and Frank glanced at each other and held a silent conversation. 

"Nico, we trust you," Reyna said. Nico's stomach wriggled. "But we can't convince the entire senate to give you more than.... five days at the most. I don't like battle any more than you do, but someone has to pay for this atrocity." 

"I know, I know." Nico bowed his head. "Thank you, thank you for that little bit of time, if you can manage it." 

Reyna sighed closing her eyes. "Sometimes I wish that I was more ruthless. It's much less tiring." She raised her hand and swiped through the Iris message, cutting it off. 

Nico closed his eyes, his shoulders sagging. Five days from now, if that. How was he supposed to figure out how to save everyone from complete destruction by then? How was he supposed to convince the Cult to give themselves up? Nico wracked his brain, but all he could see was Reilly's somber face and feel the cold hands of Tartarus. He shivered, though there was no cold. Nico froze, hearing a pair of incredibly light footsteps passing the bathroom door. He strained and heard voices talking in a quick whisper as they walked down the hallway.

"—need you. Your leadership could...." 

Nico stepped back into the shadow and soundlessly traveled through shadows, following the voice until he saw the long curly hair in the lamplight. Reilly had clothed himself, he was walking quickly and angrily as two girls tailed him. One was his twin, the other was a little girl with pigtails and a missing front tooth. She spoke with an odd eloquence. 

"Damien is well-equipped but the disciples can tell that he's slipping. We don't have much time before there's a full-on revolt. You could stop this, Reilly—"

"Even if I could, I wouldn't," he murmured. He froze for a second, turned around to stare directly into the shadow that Nico was melted in, and Nico tripped his way back a couple hundred feet. Reilly looked around, still tensed. He _was_ the master of power control. Who knew what sorts of power he had? When he didn't see anything, he continued around. The little girl glared into the darkness, her tiny hands flexing. 

Laila was holding Reilly's hand. It was striking how alike they looked when next to each other. Reilly was only a couple inches taller. 

"I'm scared. I'm terrified of what the Romans are going to do to us," Laila whispered. "If I said that I was reformed, would you guys take me in?" 

Reilly laughed humorlessly though his nose. "They barely trust _me_ anymore." 

"I told you that would happen," the little girl said, still on alert. Nico kept his distance now, just following close enough so he was able to hear their conversation. "I told you that before you left, that they would never come to trust you."

"Seraphim trusts me."

The little girl snorted. "Child of Cupid. What's it supposed to do to threaten you?" 

"Do _not_ talk about Sera in that way," Reilly growled. The little girl put her hands up in surrender. 

"Okay," she said. "yeesh. I'm just saying. I've seen them. They're soft. Quick to tears." 

"Quick with a blade too," Reilly said. "Quick wit. They're emotional, but they're strong. You have no right to judge these people." 

"Why? They judge _us_ harshly," Laila said. She looked up and down the hallway. "But that's not the point. They're not letting you help them. You're just _sitting_ here Reilly. You could bring order back to the Cult—"

"Why would I want to lead a pack of monsters?" Reilly asked. Laila flinched as though stung. "di Angelo is trying to get his contacts in New Rome to delay their attack."

Nico hated hearing Reilly talk about him using his last name. It was as though they had never even met before. 

"The son of Hades has contacts there?" the little girl said, her eyes wide. "Maybe I should've impersonated him instead—"

"It doesn't matter who you would've impersonated, you couldn't pull off his mannerisms. You never did understand that bit too well." Reilly said, waving his hand. "The point is, you have a few days to come here, beg for your lives as a group and join us in battle." 

"Like hell I'd fight next to these softies," the little girl cussed. 

"You haven't got a choice," Reilly said simply. "That's the only thing I'm accepting. I'm not going back there, I said it and I meant it. I'll die before I go back there and assume command." 

"Even if everyone would die? Even if I die?" Laila asked, whispering. "I'm your sister, and you'd condemn me to death? After all we've been through, Reilly?" Reilly paused and turned to look at Laila, his eyes filled with disgust.

"That was something you were great at, you know that?" Reilly's voice was filled with malice, a spite that was so potent that Nico could feel it four meters back in the shadows. "Emotional manipulation. Just like our mother." 

Laila took a few steps back, her eyes wide with pain and hurt. 

"YOU BASTARD!" Laila screamed. Reilly closed his eyes, sighing. She'd done it from sheer pain and didn't care about keeping cover anymore. Being compared to their mother? Nico didn't understand the insult, but she looked as though he had slapped her in the face. He heard rushing down the halls, a heavy footstep that was Nieva's, Nico recognized it. Reilly was already in enough trouble as it is. Nico stepped in the shadow and took Reilly by the arm, hiding him in the dark. He shadow traveled away from the little girl and Laila, covering Reilly's mouth with his hand. 

"Hey—!" Nieva yelled upon seeing Laila and the little girl. The little girl stepped between Laila and Nieva, bringing her hands together and disappearing in a swirl of chalk dust. Nieva screamed in frustration, kicking the wall. Nico watched in silence. 

"I'm trying," she sounded broken. "I don't know _how._ " She kicked the wall again with impressive force and ran back out, probably to tell Makoto of what she just saw. Nico stepped into the light, releasing Reilly. 

Reilly didn't say anything, but stared into each one of Nico's eyes directly. 

" _You_ were what I was feeling hiding behind us," Reilly said. Nico nodded. Reilly shrugged one shoulder. "I thought it was Damien." Reilly swirled his hand in a circle and his hand disappeared into the background, Nico's eyes unable to detect where his wrist really faded away into nothingness. The shadows wrapped itself around Reilly's hand, camouflaging it completely. He hadn't seen a power of darkness that strong except in Adder. Reilly could just as easily have been a son of Erebus. 

"I could've protected myself, you know. I'm more powerful than I led you to believe." 

"Why?" Nico asked. Maybe this was why Nico saved Reilly from being exposed to Nieva. He wanted to know why Reilly lied to him, why he had all these powers. He wanted to demand the truth from Reilly, but Nico didn't know if he could demand anything from him.

"I had no idea that they were going to cause this much trouble. I would've focused more on your power control than your sexuality. I'm sorry that you don't trust me anymore, Nico." 

"Prove your innocence, then." 

"I can't." Reilly said, smiling sadly. "I think Nieva's right." 

"Wh... what?" Nico stepped backwards, surprised. 

"I don't know if I did it intentionally... but I didn't want you working with Nieva or anyone to try and bring the Cult down. I know nearly every single kid there. I love them all, and I could never raise a hand against any of them. I can't respect what they're doing, but I can't openly plot against them. There was no reason I had to keep you working on your sexuality every single weekday. One of those days we could've been figuring out ways to strengthen your defense against the Cult. But defense can easily be turned into offense, and with your feelings towards Succubus and Nieva in control..." Reilly clenched his jaw. "I love Oleander, I love Laila. I love Quinn and Damien and even Cody. I couldn't watch you consider them less than people, like Nieva does." 

Nico understood how Reilly felt. He didn't know how he would've felt if Reilly told him about his emotions on his own. Would the conflicting emotions be as strong? Nico searched Reilly's face. This boy had so many different faces. He had a flirty face, a serious instructor's face, a joking best friend face. What face lay beneath all of those acts? Who had Nico really been sleeping with?

"I'm sorry for misleading you. My secret was also Lysander's secret, and I had to help him. Lysander and Oleander are identical twins, so there's a stronger bond between them than is usual."

"Lysander told me about being transgender," Nico said. "He said he doesn't tell many people. Is this why?"

"He loves his sister deeply, but he's ashamed of her. Lysander was never too good at advancing his powers, but he had a practical skill so advanced that he made up for it that way. Lysander doesn't want people to know about his identity because he doesn't want to be labeled. It has nothing to do with Oleander." Reilly bowed his head. "Both of them have changed drastically from when they were visually identical. But sometimes he would get these urges to see her, and it would consume him. They would talk over Iris message for a few minutes, not about anything important. She could never use Lysander as a form of information, but she could never keep away from him. No mater how powerful Oleander got, Lysander was able to easily counter any attack she attempted. They were inseparable until Lysander left the Cult with me two years ago."

"Why did you leave?" Nico asked. Reilly turned away. 

"I told you. I found out what sex was, two years ago. I found out how it should be used." Reilly ran his fingers through his curly hair. "I tried to teach Laila and Oleander and as many kids as I could about it. No one listened to me except Lysander. Lysander hated what he was doing to the mortals. The experiments...they didn't bother me as much as they should've. You know Lysander, he's got a kind heart, and he couldn't continue hurting people." So when Isabel left, she appointed me Leader. My only move as leader was to appoint my First Lieutenant, Damien. Damien had only been there about a year. Everyone was surprised that I didn't appoint Oleander, my protégée, as the my Lieutenant. Damien was kinder than Oleander because of his experiences with his brother. Looks like Oleander corrupted him as well. I didn't stick around to find out. I left." Reilly looked away. "I was only 13, Lysander was 17. They really didn't trust Lysander, he had spent most of his life at the Cult." 

"Wait, so you didn't start here at Camp Nyx and then choose to go to the Cult?" 

Reilly shook his head. "My sister and I showed up at the Cult after..." Reilly dropped off in the middle of the sentence. Nico knew better than to push for information. "Nieva especially hated us. She didn't think that we could be over there and have any form of morality." Reilly shrugged. "I thought that she had grown out of it, but she still seems to hate me as much as the first day." 

"But what about what Matthaius said?" Nico asked. "He said something about both of you keeping secrets of love?" 

"If Nieva loves anyone, gods help that poor bastard." Reilly said, glaring at nothing in particular. 

"Could it be her father?" Nico asked tentatively. 

"Her father?" Reilly laughed in amusement. It was colder than Nico had ever heard it. He didn't like it at all. "Her father is a paranoid schizophrenic with cerebral palsy and Alzheimer's. The man couldn't pick Nieva out of group of three people." 

"It doesn't mean that she can't love him," Nico bit. Reilly laughed. 

"I know, I know. I'm just saying that Nieva relies on cold hard facts of life. She hasn't talked about her father except to use him as a spring board to show how far she's come in her life. She never lived with him. She doesn't care for him. She may be more apathetic than I am. "

"I'm not ruling it out," Nico said. Reilly shrugged. Then he turned around sharply, frowning at Nico. 

"What are you doing here? Aren't you supposed to be talking to your contacts and trying to prevent us from being killed?"

Nico stepped back a couple paces, hands in surrender. 

"I already did. They said they would try their best, but it would be difficult. They may be able to get us five days at the most. I don't know how much they trust me anymore, to be honest." 

"That doesn't matter," Reilly said. "Just as long as they trust you enough to get you a few days of peace. I'm going to have to call a power control class and make sure that they know how to use their powers to disable and kill—"

"I can't believe this," Nico whispered. "Most of the kids here are eleven, ten years old. The twelfth fulminata is filled with seventeen and eighteen year olds—"

"Age is nothing if you are skilled enough." Reilly said reasonably. He stopped and looked at Nico for a moment, up and down. 

"Do you trust me?"

"Not really." Nico admitted. 

Reilly nodded. "I didn't think so." He turned away and took a step into the darkness, disappearing like sugar into water. Nico stood alone in the hallway, his fists balled up angrily. He felt tired, but he didn't know if he could fall asleep. He needed rest. Being well-rested and recharged before a battle would be something he had never felt before in his life. He may be able to do it, if he found Laura. He hadn't realized just how exhausted he'd become.

He knocked on Laura's bedroom door and heard gentle sobs. Instantly, Nico regretted it. If there was anything that Nico didn't understand at all, it was how to console a crying person. He wanted to be able to, but he was just awful at it. The door opened and Laura stood there, her face was dry of tears. She looked sad and more exhausted than usual, and her shirt was dotted with little wet spots. 

"Nico," she said warmly. "I thought I'd see you here."

"You did?" Nico said, stepping into the room. Sera was curled up in a ball on the end of Laura's bed, covered in a blanket. 

She nodded. "You're not entirely suspicious of Reilly and Lysander, but you don't want to stay with them tonight anyway. It's understandable."

Nico had barely realized this himself. He had come here to fall asleep instead of back to his own room. Maybe that had something to do with it. It was very possible. Seraphim smiled a little bit. 

"I'm glad that you're on our side," Sera's voice was thick and they wiped a tear from their eye. "I don't know what I would do if Mako and Nieva started another civil war." 

"Another one?" 

"Well— It wasn't really a war, it was a minor dispute and it only lasted a few months. But Camp Nyx was in shambles, there was no structure. Matthaius tried to teach all of us, but Nieva would make such a stink— no one knew why." 

"We still don't really know," Laura said. "She's pretty closed off when it comes to her past. I don't want to pry." 

"I think if we tried to pry we'd probably get our heads cut off." Nico said. Seraphim chuckled, wiping their nose. 

"Sorry, I look like crap," they said. Nico shook his head. 

"You look fantastic. I'm pretty sure the next fall fashion is gonna be red-eyed and wet-cheeked because of this very moment."

Seraphim laughed, and it was just as beautiful as Nico could've hoped. He felt so happy causing that laugh, it almost calmed his own nerves. 

"Do you think that involving Camp Half-Blood would help in any way?" Laura asked, fetching a few extra pillows and throwing them on the bunk on top of where Seraphim sat.

"No way," Nico said, remembering back to the actual civil war they prevented a year or so back. "That would only complicate things unnecessarily."

"Just trying to see if we have allies anywhere else." she sighed, sitting down next to Seraphim. "Make yourself at home." She added. Nico realized that he'd been standing stiffly in the same spot. Nico took the sword from over his head, remembering that his bag was still in the Room. He climbed up to the top bunk and found himself lying in a bed again. It was odd. 

"So did you really sleep with Reilly?" Sera asked, laughing a little bit. "And he told you that they were lessons?" 

"They _were_ lessons," Nico murmured. "There was too much selflessness in them for them not to be lessons. I learned too much about who I am for it all to have been an act." 

"All from sleeping with him?" 

"It's more than that," Nico frowned, trying to explain. He didn't know if he would be able to. 

"He's right, Sera. I can see where Reilly is coming from. Sexuality is an extra weakness that he has to reinforce, especially after being attacked by the Demoness." 

"Hey, just because you two are asexual doesn't mean that my sexuality is a weakness," Nico complained. 

"I'm not asexual," Laura laughed. Nico froze. He dropped his head over the side of the bed, looking at the upside-down image of Sera curled up in Laura's large arms. 

"I'm sorry," Nico said awkwardly from this angle. "I just assumed—"

"Most people do," Laura said. "It's alright. It's not an insult and I don't take it as one." 

"Okay," Nico said. Someone knocked on the door. Seraphim gathered the blanket around themselves and stood to answer it. A girl of about twelve with a very round face and marbled brown and pale skin was fighting the forced sleep that she'd been put under by one of the other Hypnos kids. She was leaning against the side of the door frame, her head nodding from exhaustion. Nico recognized her as Tiger's Eye, the daughter of Morpheus. The first time Nico really met her, she told him that she got the name "Tiger's Eye" because her mother had a dream of her in the future, her skin reminded her mom of the precious stone Tiger's Eye. Mainly, people teased her by singing 'Eye of the Tiger' around her. She was often quiet and sometimes helped Nico with his English homework. 

"Laura—" she gasped. Laura stood, frowning. She released Tiger's Eye from the grip of sleep and she stood straight, her eyes focused on Nico. 

"Someone's trying to contact him through a dream— I can't see it, and I tried to ask Alexei if he could see it, but he couldn't— it feels powerful, maybe even a message from a god—"

Someone was trying to contact him through a dream? Demigods often had informative dreams, but mainly those only happened while they were on a quest. 

"Are you sure that it's not another demigod?" Laura asked. Tiger's Eye nodded. 

"I know it. It feels different. Otherwise I wouldn't have come to waking world to tell you."

Laura nodded. "Thank you, Tiger's Eye," Laura said. "You can go back to sleep, I'll try and guide him to the dream." 

Tiger's Eye bowed and scampered off back down the hallway. Nico felt like a rock had dropped into the pit of his stomach. A dream from a god? It had to be Mother Night yelling at him for slacking off and allowing Reilly to distract him. What if it was Cupid, scolding him for his misuse of the Blessing? Or Erebus for bringing his children into danger? What if it was his father? 

"I can hear you worrying from over here," Seraphim chuckled. "Laura, I think you should put him out of his misery." 

"You know that phrase is often accompanied with a bullet to the back of the head," Nico said, lying back in his bunk and pulling the sheets to his chin. 

"Well it very well could be." Laura said, making the bottom bunk creak as she sat down on it. "I'll be protecting you while you sleep, Nico. I won't be able to see the dream, but I can monitor your health level."

"Make sure I don't die, Laura," Nico murmured, the familiar tug of sleep pulling at his eyelids, his eyes blurring. 

"Roger, chief," Laura's voice was all around him. Before he knew it, he had fallen into darkness. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> The pace picks up from now on, if you haven't already noticed. Reilly's incredible power and Nieva's secrets and people trying to contact other people through dreams... man, I love writing this story. Thank you for reading it, let me know what you think!


	11. Chapter 11

The difference between this dream and other dreams that Nico had was that he was hyper aware of the fact that it was a dream. He saw a man, a very beautiful man that had brown skin, a stubbled beard, and calculating eyes beckon him with a finger. Nico had no choice to obey. The man looked middle eastern, Arabian maybe. He walked Nico through a strange field, it went on and on for miles on every direction, with the exception of a single tree under which Jason sat drinking tea alone. Nico wanted to reach out to him, but he didn't want to lose the man. He walked on, following him, thinking about Jason behind him.

The ground turned into a street that Nico walked often in Los Angeles. A secret back entrance to the Underworld was hidden here, and the man was heading straight for it. He opened his palms up to the sky and snow began to collect on top of them. He offered one to Nico, and Nico accepted it, though it melted to water the instant it touched his fingers. They walked on, finding their way into the Underworld quickly. They swirled around places that Nico recognized very well. Thanatos caught Nico's eyes for a brief second before turning away. It chilled Nico to the bone, but the man before him didn't seem concerned.

The man swirled to a stop, his beautiful hands outstretched, his perfect mouth closed. Nico's heart was racing. They were standing at the edge of Tartarus. This was the last place Nico had been in the Underworld before Tartarus sucked him in and stole his mind. Tartarus wasn't pulling now, maybe from the protection of the dream, or it could possibly be an illusion. The man was staring at Nico hard, Nico felt his stomach clench nervously. Then the man opened his mouth and began to speak.

_Land of blisters, red and bare  
Snow and Body together fare.   
Led by he who twice defied,   
the son of Hades shall change the tide.   
To end the curse with blackest blade,   
two masters served, for one was made.   
His sister's traitor holds the book   
to end the fight with a single look.   
Though four will fall only two will rise,   
to bloodshed morning and foreign skies.   
Last warning to the veteran raped:   
_ _Evil does not forgive the escaped._

The man took a crudely bound book out of his pocket. The title page had stamped on the front " _The Notes of Re-Birth_ " and some symbols that Nico recognized as locking sigils. Nico's mind was spinning. He couldn't open his mouth to say anything, he just stared at the beautiful man holding the oldest looking book Nico had ever seen. Just as Nico began to open his mouth to say something, the man did a smooth backflip and fell into Tartarus, sucking him in deeper and deeper. With the absence of the man, Tartarus began pulling Nico in, swirling around his feet and dragging him into the dark. Nico felt himself slipping closer and closer to the edge, afraid of losing his dream-self.

"L-Laura!" he managed to choke. "Help!"

* * *

Nico shot up in his bed, his heart beating wildly in his chest, his entire body covered in a cold sweat. The sun had just risen. The room was silent, Nico could hear the gentle breaths of Sera and the heavy, steady breaths of Laura. Nico was shaking, the vivid dream had terrified him. The worst thing about this dream was that there was no getting away from it. It wasn't 'just a dream' as it usually was. This dream had come to him from someone, and he had no choice but to obey.

Nico climbed down the side of the bunk, wanting to leave before Laura woke up and asked him he reason he needed to wake up. He was shivering, his whole body uncomfortable and his mind racing with fear. He picked up his sword and left the room as quietly as possible, walking down the hall. The prophecy that had been recited to him was burned on the inside of his mind, every single word stuck there without Nico's intent. He was usually awful at memorization, but it was like someone else had committed it to memory for him. Nico wished that he could get rid of it.

Walking down the silent halls during the early morning was spookier than walking down them in the dead of night. Everyone was asleep, forced or naturally, and the building creaked with morning breezes. Nico made his way to the basement, half-hiding in the shadows. He wasn't sure if he was hiding on purpose or if he was doing it on accident as a reaction to his fear. Nico opened the door to the room and retrieved his shirt and jacket with a trembling hand. He slung his bag over his shoulder, emptying it of the now seemingly useless English and math books. He checked his necessities. He had the pomegranate seeds. He had a small water bottle filled with nectar and a few squares of ambrosia. He had tape in case he needed to make a splint. He had a mirror in case he needed to make a signal. Some flint. A small bag of drachma and some cash.

Would any of this be helpful in Tartarus?

Nico didn't want to think about that at all. The heart beating in his chest seemed to count down his last few moments. Go outside and cherish the sun. Nico didn't know if he would be able to cherish anything at all. Everything would be tinged with the inevitable future.

"Nico!" Someone whispered behind him. Nico didn't even have it in him to jump in surprise. He turned around and saw an Iris message. It was his sister. Nico's bass drum heart filled with a temporary warmth. Just her face was enough for Nico to postpone terror.

"Hazel," he smiled.

"I don't have much time," she looked around. "The Senate deliberated last night. Four days from now. You've got four days, Nico, okay?"

His eyes widened. In his own terror, he had nearly forgotten about the attack.

"Thank you, Hazel, you don't know how much that means—"

"You didn't hear it from me, okay?" Hazel said. "They put a very strong case against you, but you're my brother. Stay safe. I love you!"

"I love you too—"

The Iris message disappeared and Nico was left with two heavy things on his mind. He felt like falling over and crying. He almost wished for the mindlessness of a panic attack. This numbness was revolting. He wanted someone to console him. He wanted someone to help him. He couldn't trust Reilly. He couldn't call Jason.

The second Nico thought of Jason's name, he collapsed into a ball on the floor, his head between his knees and his fingers clutching his hair. _Jason._ He needed to talk to Jason, but he couldn't. He wanted Jason to help him through this, but there was nothing that Jason could do besides distract him. Things weren't going to work out this time. There was nothing that Jason could do to save him, to change what the prophecy said. Nico was losing it and he was losing it quickly. It was a different sort of panic attack. He wasn't afraid of someone attacking him, he was afraid of the rapidity of moments passing by him. How quickly time seemed to flow! How beautiful yesterday was! Just yesterday, sitting on the edge of this bed, he admitted his feelings to Jason. It seemed a lifetime ago. Only two months previous, he had been lying in a bed with Jason, warm and comforted. It physically pained Nico how far away he was from the son of Jupiter.

Nico dug his fingers into his scalp, forcing himself to have a headache. He didn't want to do this. He couldn't do this. He couldn't do this. He wasn't strong enough. He wasn't _nearly_ as strong as he should be. Percy. Percy was strong. Have Percy do this. Why couldn't Percy do something like this? Nico was no leader, this sort of responsibility shouldn't be entrusted to him. He was just a stupid kid, lost in his mind, unable to handle a couple of ragtag kids with powers. Tartarus.  _Last warning to the veteran raped:_ _Evil does not forgive the escaped._ Nico didn't want to think about it. He couldn't think about it. He couldn't think about anything else.

He wanted out of his body. He wanted to run away, like he was used to. He wanted to shadow travel to the nearest town and fake his death. He wanted to actually die. Perhaps sitting in the Fields of Asphodel as a coward was better than perishing in the eternal terror that was Tartarus. Nico screamed, curling up tighter in a ball. He began to bang his head against the wall, trying to silence his thoughts with pain. He dug his fingernails into his own skin. Here it was. Here came the panic. Blood dripped down his forearms, he knew that his forehead was bruising. He wanted to break an arm, he wanted to tear his throat. He screamed harder and harder, feeling his throat tear a little bit. He was desperate, he wanted to get out of this body. The only way that was possible was death, and he was more afraid of being called a coward than he was of killing himself.

Suddenly, as though someone had struck him in the head, he was unconscious, blackness engulfed him completely.

* * *

Nico woke up in a dark room, rubbing his eyes gently. One of his brows was pretty badly bruised, his temples were throbbing with a headache. His hands were unwilling to come out of the fists they had formed in his sleep.

"Feeling better?" Nieva said from somewhere in the darkness. Nico rubbed his eyes a little more, and searched. All of the directors were standing around the bed that Nico now realized as Matthaius's bed. He was in Matthaius's room. Upon this realization, he shivered. Matthaius was in front of his TV watching the local news. Lysander and Reilly were milling around the door. Makoto was sitting on the bed next to Nico, Seraphim and Laura were sitting at the foot of the bed and Nieva was standing next to it. They all were staring at him with anticipation.

"Reilly told us that you talked to your friends last night." Makoto said, her voice stiff. She softened. "Five days is good, don't feel worried about that—"

"Four." Nico said, his voice strained. He remembered screaming his throat raw. He supposed this was the punishment. He cleared his throat and tried again. "We have four days from now. And that's not all."

The tension in the room heightened. Nico recited the prophecy that he received from the dream, describing the man and the setting. He told them everything. He wished that a bolt of lightning would end him of his misery. He wished that he could run into some traffic. He wished he could do anything but recite these awful lines. Everyone else seemed considerably less scared.

"So this is why you were freaking out," Laura said. She sighed. "Nieva ran into my room saying that your psyche was about to break and that I needed to knock you out. You were difficult to put down, Nico, you need to be careful with that."

"You don't understand," Nico rasped. "I have to return to the pit. I have to go _back._ "

"Well... you survived one time," Lysander said, stepping forward. "You must know some way to—"

"You survived your childhood one time," Nico spat. "Why don't you go back to that?"

Lysander backed up, his arm raised over his face, eyes wide. Reilly stepped forward.

"Out of line, Nico," his voice was low.

"It's true!" Nico said. "It's worse— it's awful—"

"He was only trying to help." Reilly said. "Apologize."

"But—"

"Apologize!" Reilly hissed. Nico turned his eyes downward and took in a shuddering breath.

"I'm sorry, Lysander. I'm just scared. I'm just— I don't know what to do." Nico said. He knew that what he said was awful. He didn't even think about his words, they just spilled out of his mouth. Lysander nodded, but didn't look back at Nico or speak again.

"Well it's obvious that Nico is leading a quest that should end this impending battle." Matthaius stood up, slipping his hands into his pockets. "Snow and Body are going to work together with him."

"I'm obviously snow," Nieva said, her voice uncharacteristically quiet. "I think Reilly is Body. He's the master of his and other's bodies."

"It could just as easily be Lysander," Makoto pointed out. "He's the master of the physical body."

"Not really," Nieva said. "Just battle. Reilly knows how the body works, powers and things. I'm pretty sure it's Reilly. Besides, the prophecy says that we have to work together, and there is no one I'd hate to work with more than Reilly."

"Gee, Nieva, I'm flattered," Reilly said, deadpanned. Nieva glared at him.

"Blackest blade is my sword," Nico said weakly. "I'm going to have to kill something in Tartarus. That's... that's ridiculous." Nico's small laugh was hysterical. "I guess it had a master before me or something. Maybe I'll be killed by my blade. Haha,"

Nieva put a hand on Nico's forehead and Nico felt his terror drain out of him. He sighed, closing his eyes slowly. His mind cleared.

"Then the... the book of rebirth... his sister's traitor— that could be Reilly or Lysander," Nico said.

"It's... it's not them." Nieva looked away. Everyone looked at her. She glanced back. "It's a long story, and we don't have time. I'll explain it after we're through with the quest."

Nico leaned forward, "But if it's something that could help us with the quest—"

"It can't, okay?" Nieva snapped. "The last lines are just saying that it's going to be hard for you, am I right?"

Nico tried to swallow the lump that had suddenly appeared in his throat. He nodded wordlessly. Nieva sighed.

"We're going to have to meet Camp Jupiter in battle. This much is obvious. But Nico, Reilly and I are going to have to go to Tartarus to retrieve the book of rebirth. If we can do that, we can stop the fighting, somehow." Nieva's wavering voice had regained its usual strength.

"It could be a trap." Nico said feebly.

"Yeah, it could be." Reilly said. "But it's the only lead we've got. We have to go for it."

They didn't know. They were talking about Tartarus as though it was a scarier part of the Underworld. They were talking about Tartarus casually because they didn't know the type of mental scars that it could bring. They were ignorant of the pain that it could cause. Nico was barely able to keep himself together when down in the pit. He didn't know if he would be able to help both Reilly and Nieva if they were to fall prey to Tartarus's horrors. Nico needed to get out of here. He felt like he was surrounded by his own mistakes.

"We'll leave tomorrow." Reilly said, his voice faltering. There was the fear. Nico relaxed a little, hoping that Reilly and Nieva were mentally preparing themselves. Nico pushed the blankets off of his legs and stood, grabbing his sword and his bag. He swung them over himself and took a shuddering breath.

"Where are you going?" Makoto said. Nico smiled wryly.

"I need a cigarette."

* * *

The first time Nico smoked a cigarette, he was ten years old, grieving heavily over his sister, scared and alone. He stole them from a man's pocket, tried to light the end of it without having it in his mouth, and sucked the poison into his body. He knew that it was bad for him, but the kids at the camp said that most demigods have a short lifespan anyway. He smoked and cried, coughed and sat at the Virginian sea, confused on how he got here, scared of what they would think about his powers. He smoked the whole cigarette and threw it away in a trash can. It had calmed him down, his mouth tasted like mint and ash, his breath certainly smelled like a fireplace. Since then, Nico only smoked on occasion. Generally, the occasion was feeling like an absolute piece of shit, or feeling panicky. As Nico walked out of the general store with a box of Newports after tricking the man behind the counter with a magic ID, he lit the first cigarette on what he knew was going to most likely become a chain.

Nico blew the smoke through his mouth and looked up at the young sky. It was nine in the morning, the chill of the night was just beginning to burn off. He sat in the parking lot, the collar of his aviator jacket turned up. He had left his hoodie back at the camp, but it wasn't really his in the first place. Any time his mind threatened to wander into dangerous territory, Nico would think about the next drag, hold it in his lungs and blow it through his lips easily. It was simple. It was therapeutic. It was absolutely disgusting according to Jason.

Jason. Nico flicked the second butt into the parking lot after lighting the third cigarette. He was going to die without having seen Jason one more time. They wouldn't see each other again when they were healthy. Nico was doing an incredibly unhealthy thing by smoking cigarettes. It was a type of self-harm, he knew that much. Jason knew this too. Jason. Jason Grace. The boy who had never given up on him. He never gave up on Nico, not even after Nico had given himself up for dead. Jason. Nico wanted to cry. He took a drag instead. It wasn't fair that his life was a series of twists and turns that led Nico into darker and darker tunnels. He was trying to make himself better, stronger, but the world kept him down.

"Is this what you expected?" Nico murmured at the ground to his father. "When you put us in the Lotus? Bianca's dead. I'm a fucking wreck. Why did you save us? Why did you save us if this is what life is going to be like?"

Nico didn't get a response. It was rude to be ungrateful like this, but Nico was past the point of caring. His father could punish him severely, but at least it would happen before he made his way into his worst nightmare. Nico was about to light the fourth cigarette, but he stopped. If he was going to die, he should at least have some dying requests. He wasn't going to die without a goodbye kiss. He wasn't going to die alone and afraid. He would die with a fresh image of Jason in his mind, at least. It was probably early in San Francisco, but Nico didn't care. He hadn't used his new shadow traveling power over this long of a distance, but he had to hope it would work. Nico certainly hoped that Terminus wouldn't have an aneurism.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry for the brevity of this chapter. I'm kind of posting this from a McDonald's in a place I've never been before. Life sure twists me into interesting places. Let me know what you think!


	12. Chapter 12

Nico appeared in a secluded shadow in the lobby of an unfamiliar apartment building. The power hadn't worked as well as Nico had hoped, but if Jason was living in this building he should be able to travel to the shadow nearest to Jason by fixating on his aura. It was one of the most convenient tricks that Reilly had taught him. Instead of Nico traveling into the city and wandering around to every apartment building in the whole of New Rome, he found a shortcut. Nico closed his eyes and thought about Jason again, fixing on him.

When he opened his eyes, he stood in a shadow in the corner of Jason's one-room apartment. He was standing by a closet, and Nico just watched Jason for a moment. The apartment certainly had a definite 'Jason' feel about it. Empty mugs and dirty clothes littered surfaces. Jason's stack of Kurt Vonnegut books was in the corner, meticulously stacked next to library books on Hindu mythology. Nico smiled. Jason had been quite obsessed with the Western African deities and it seemed as though he'd traveled further east. Jason himself was lying on the bed, thoughtlessly eating chips with one hand and holding a book with the other. Nico tried, but he couldn't see the title of the book. His face was much more interesting to Nico anyway. Jason had always been reactionary when it came to stories, and now was no different. Just by looking at the expression on his face, Nico could tell that a serious moment was happening in his book. Nico's heart dropped. He was so happy. He had moved in so well, he had lived his life and flourished wonderfully. Should he tell Jason about his inevitable fate? Should he worry Jason like that? Jason began laughing, he rolled over on his back and held the book above him. Nico couldn't breathe, the sound was so beautiful. Nico closed his eyes. He was so selfish.

Nico stepped out of the shadows.

"Whatcha reading?" Nico said, his voice still scratchy from screaming earlier. Jason sprung to his feet, incredibly startled. He dropped his book, his hands were in fists, ready for action.

"N-Nico?" Jason said in disbelief. Nico nodded, stepping into the room and towards the bed. Jason hesitated, but lowered his fists eventually. "You made me lose my page..." He bent down and picked the book up off the ground. Nico glanced at the title. _The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy._

"I'm going to assume that you're Nico di Angelo and not some monster impersonation," Jason smiled, sitting back down on the bed next to Nico. "Mostly because no monster has made a face so depressed before."

Nico didn't even crack a smile. Here he was, in Jason's presence after so long, and all he could think about was how soon he would be to lose him. Jason swung his legs onto the bed and Nico was struck by how strongly Jason smelled. He smelled just like Jason, a warm, sunny, earthy, something extra that Nico could bathe in.

When Nico didn't smile, Jason's took on a serious tone. "...Nico?" Jason said, gently resting his hand on top of Nico's. Nico took it, laced his fingers with Jason's and squeezed Jason's hand. He brought Jason's fingers to his mouth and kissed each finger lovingly, tenderly. He took his time. He wanted Jason to know how much he loved him.

"I really missed you," Nico murmured after a while.

"I missed you too," Jason said, the suspicion still not completely out of his voice. "Are you sure that you're alright?"

"Do you think I'm sexy?" Nico burst out, connecting his eyes with Jason's. Jason hesitated, offered a tentative smile and said,

"Performed by Rod Stewart?"

Nico turned towards Jason more fully now, taking Jason's other hand in his own.

"I'm serious, do you find me sexually attractive?"

"I— Nico, I don't know what—"

"Please answer my question," Nico croaked. "Please."

Jason frowned, trying to see through what Nico was saying, but if he did, Nico couldn't tell. Now that he was here, Nico didn't want to be consoled. He wanted to be distracted, he wanted to be given a false sense of hope. He didn't want Jason to tell him that everything was going to be alright when he didn't know if it would be or not. Nico wanted to forget the prophecy and the incoming attack and Camp Nyx and all of that messy stuff that he'd been getting into. All Nico wanted to know was Jason.

"Of course I do," Jason said softly. "I've found you attractive for a long time. Attraction isn't the same as affection, though, you know."

"So you found me attractive before you even liked me?" Nico said, surprised, genuinely distracted now.

"Before I even knew you, really." Jason smiled. "I mean, I didn't know whether I could trust you or not because you just showed up with Hazel, but you were mysterious and dark and I just..." Jason shrugged and blushed a little bit. "I thought that was kind of sexy."

Nico lunged forward, wrapping his arms around Jason's neck, kissing him fully. Jason's eyes flew open wide, he responded feebly, his hands on Nico's hips. Nico deepened the kiss, exploring Jason's mouth hurriedly with his tongue, feeling his slick teeth and tasting his breath. Nico recognized the sloppiness and the closeness of two humans, but it made him sad, sadder than he could've expected, being so filled with Jason. Jason pulled away for a moment.

"You reek of cigarettes." Jason frowned. "Is something—Ni-Nico—" Jason tried between kisses. Nico shook his head.

"Sh." Nico ducked into Jason's neck and began sliding his hands beneath Jason's shirt, feeling the muscles beneath the firm skin. He needed to devour Jason using every sense. He needed to smell, taste Jason. He needed to feel Jason's body, hear Jason's breath, he needed all of Jason, right now.

"N-Nico," Jason breathed as Nico began to unbuckle Jason's belt hurriedly. "What are you doing—?"

Nico didn't respond, but found his way from Jason's neck to his red lips again. Jason's response was still feeble, as though he hadn't caught up with Nico's actions. Somewhere in the back of his mind, Nico could hear Reilly chastising him, but Nico pushed it down. He didn't want to think about Reilly's teachings. He just wanted to be with Jason. Nico slid off the side of the bed, falling to his knees at Jason's groin, kissing the lower stomach as he slipped his hands beneath the band of Jason's boxers.

"Nico!" Jason's breath hitched. "No, Nico, what—?"

Nico tried his best to ignore Jason. Reilly's voice came at him in a roar. _If you even have an iota of a hint that your partner does not consent, you stop and ask. Do you hear me?_ Nico wanted this so badly, though. Nico felt tears well in the corners of his eyes and he pressed his face into Jason's stomach for a moment before pressing his palm to Jason's crotch. He could do this. This is what he wanted to do.

"Stop," Jason said. "Nico, stop—"

 **Stop**. A red flag went up in Nico's head and he froze in his tracks, retracting his hand from Jason's pants, only the lightest brush of pubic hair was Nico's reward. Nico didn't want to look up at Jason's face. The embarrassment would be unbearable. Nico realized now just how the tears flowed from his eyes freely, though silently. They dotted Jason's shirt, and Nico realized that he'd been crying nearly the whole time. Jason pulled Nico up to face him.

"What was that all about?" Jason's voice wasn't accusatory, it was concerned. Jason wiped a thumb beneath Nico's eye, catching a tear. Nico didn't want to say it. He didn't want to tell Jason. No one else had really understood what was going to happen to Nico. Laura and Reilly and Nieva didn't understand. But Jason would understand. Jason would understand and be just as terrified.

"I'm sorry," Nico whispered, pressing his face into Jason's shoulder. "I'm sorry I did all that, I just— I wanted to feel— I wanted—" Nico didn't know what he wanted, so how could he tell Jason? He knew he wanted a distraction, but he wanted more than that. He wanted to carry Jason's love with him into the pit, he didn't want to leave Jason. He wanted to make love to Jason in the hopes that his soul would stay safe next to Jason's instead of descending.

Jason pulled Nico further onto the bed, gently pushing the aviator jacket off of Nico's shoulders. He leaned against the wall behind the headboard and opened his arms for Nico to lean in. Nico's back heaved with shaky cries and he burrowed into Jason's open arms. Jason closed his arms around Nico and all was right. Nothing could get him in here. He was safe in this very moment. He froze this moment, the quietness of Jason's lips against Nico's temple, Nico leaning into Jason's soft touches. He coveted them more than any orgasm he'd ever had with Reilly. What was Nico thinking, trying to have sex with Jason? Sex with Jason would be a completely different experience than it was with Reilly. There were so many different levels to their dynamic... how could he think that it would be something as quick and thoughtless as with Reilly?

"Now," Jason said. "Tell me what's wrong."

Nico’s answer was automatic. It burst from him in a plea. "I have to go back to Tartarus."

Silence. Nico wished that he was facing the other way so that he could see the reaction on Jason’s face. The silence churned like gray clouds not yet sure if they were going to become the storm that they threatened. Nico knew that Jason was fighting disbelief. Nico had done so for a few moments before feeling the well-known fear grip hold. Nico knew that Jason understood when his arms tightened protectively. Nico pressed himself closer, close as he possibly could, to the boy holding him. This warmth was all he needed, he was sure of it. Everything was right when Nico leaned into Jason’s arms, even when everything was so unbearably wrong. Jason pressed his cheek to Nico's hair.

"Is that all?" Jason chuckled, his voice thick and deep. Nico burst out in a watery laugh, the sad tears falling from his eyes so opposite from the smile on his face. Nico wriggled around to face Jason, his knees tucked beneath his body. He held Jason's face in both of his hands and Jason lightly held Nico's wrists.

"I needed to see you," Nico breathed. The little scar. The freckles that Nico wasn't able to pick up over the Iris messages. Oh look, there are new ones on the bridge of his nose. His eyes, so potent, so goddamned _Jason—_

"Here I am," Jason laughed feebly, his eyes welling with tears. Nico smiled, nodding. Jason's eyes searched Nico's face, tracing them in little darting sweeps. Nico wanted to be scanned and kept within Jason. He would be safe within Jason. Jason’s face grew steadily more panicked as Nico watched it.

"D-don't—!" Jason struggled.

Nico's hands dropped a little from Jason's face, concerned. Don’t touch him? But Jason's grip tightened on Nico's wrists.

"No!" Jason gasped. "I'm trying— I'm trying not to say what my whole body is screaming, because I know that— I know that you probably have a good reason—" Jason breathed. "I mean, you wouldn't— you wouldn't just—"

"Say it," Nico whispered. Jason shook his head.

"I shouldn't."

"Please," Nico closed his eyes and rested his forehead on Jason's. Jason's breath tickled his nose and warmed his heart. "Say it."

"Don't go," Jason begged, a whisper. "Don't go, Nico, please don't—"

"I won't." Nico responded. “I won’t leave you.” They both knew it was a lie. Nico wanted to pretend that he could say this and mean it. He wanted to stay here in Jason's embrace. He wanted to run away with Jason to a world that didn't constantly try and kill them both. He wanted to fly off of this earth with Jason and exist where it was just the two of them.

Jason rubbed his thumb on the back of Nico's hand. Nico's hands slipped to Jason's shoulders, their foreheads still touching. Jason brought a hand up to the side of Nico's face, brushing it lightly with the backs of his fingers. Nico leaned into the touch, so rough yet so gentle. Jason ducked his head in, tentatively at first. They hovered over each other, a thread of air separated them, and then they kissed.

This kiss was so different than the kisses Nico had imposed on Jason earlier. These kisses were deliberate, slow. They took their time and made sure things were right. Jason's lips held Nico's and Nico took the time to memorize Jason's soft mouth with his own. Jason's mouth hovered over Nico's, often lips touched without knotting together in a kiss. Tongues touched tentatively, just to get a picture of the other's. Nico interlaced his fingers with Jason's. Jason's grip was firm, almost as though Nico could vanish into smoke at any moment. Nico gripped Jason back, assuring Jason that he wouldn't. They continued kissing slowly, tears mixed and dripped to the pillows and on their shirts. If anything, Nico would have Jason's tears with him when he descended.

Nico had never experienced anything like this in his life. When he imagined a sensual relationship, all he could picture was the hot rough sex that he had seen in porn. When he had been afraid of a romantic relationship with Jason, he couldn't imagine the type of wordless, sexless intimacy that could be achieved. This was it. The soft kisses felt like eternity. He could stay here forever. He really could, if he wanted to. Time had stopped with his hand curled in Jason's shaggy hair. Tartarus didn't exist with Jason's hand on Nico's hip.

Jason kissed Nico's cheeks and nose. He kissed every bit of open skin that he could reach, the palms of his hands and the curve of his jaw. Nothing about this was sexual, but everything about it was sensual. Nico traced his nose over the curves of Jason's face, accidentally tickling Jason with his long eyelashes. Jason giggled, and Nico smiled at the sound. He bat his eyelashes against Jason's ear again and Jason giggled, pressing Nico off of him lightly. Nico couldn't help but to laugh and push against Jason, wiggling his fingers into Jason's middle. Jason squirmed, trying not to laugh. He slid Nico's shirt up, surprising Nico for a moment before pressing his lips against Nico's stomach and blowing air out hard, making ripples of air explode like wind being let from a balloon. Nico couldn't take it, he laughed as hard as he'd ever laughed, not used to the feeling. He didn't even know how ticklish that spot was when that happened to him. Jason looked up, bewildered, a punch-drunk smile on his face. Nico tackled Jason back down against the bed, still holding his own flat stomach and stifling his bubbling laughter. Nico kissed Jason again, more playfully, smiling through the dried salt of his tears.

They were playing pretend. 

* * *

Jason and Nico sat there the whole day, talking about anything and everything. Jason revealed to Nico his desire to be a father, and Nico couldn't help but to smile at the glitter in his eyes. Nico had never thought about the future like that, his future seemed so tentative, or at least filled with danger and pain. He couldn't truly conceive a delicate little child populating his future.

"Well, think about it!" Jason said. "I mean, being a son of Jupiter has a high mortality rate too, you know. I just pretend that it doesn't."

"How?" Nico said. "It's kind of my driving force. I'm going to die one day and I'm not going to be prepared for it. That's what's going to happen. It's what happened to everyone like me."

"Not true," Jason pointed out. "Look at all the happy older people here--"

"Sons of Apollo and daughters of Demeter. None of them are children of the big three--"

"Please, Nico," Jason murmured, pressing his cheek into Nico's back. "Can we pretend that we're not going to die? Can't we pretend that we could have a normal life?"

We. As though Jason intended to stay with Nico for a long time. Nico felt a lump in his throat that he couldn't swallow. It was touching. It was sincere. Nico tried as hard as he could to look through the gloom that threatened to be his future. Okay, assuming that he survived all of that... then what? Kids? A Job? A normal life?

"I guess I'd like to have kids," Nico said, thinking about Adder. "I think I'd want to adopt some of the kids of the Underworld. Save them from their tragedies. I'd like to help them where no one was able to help me." Jason's arms closed tighter around Nico's waist.

"And what would you do as a job? Would you want to go to college here? I think I'd want to study anthropology. Or maybe world religion. Though to be fair, I wouldn't be able to get a high-paying job with those degrees."

No one had ever asked Nico what he wanted to be when he grew up. It was taken for granted that Nico wouldn't grow up. He'd heard other people being asked the question, but never really thought about it himself.

"I... I don't know." Nico said, shocked at how he _couldn't_ know.

"Well... what makes you happy?"

"You do," Nico answered immediately. Jason chuckled and pulled Nico even closer, kissing the spot just below his ear. Nico smiled and leaned into Jason's touch.

"Well you can't do me as a major," Jason said.

Nico turned around and faced Jason's smiling face. "I can try."

Jason flicked Nico's forehead. "Nope, try again."

Nico looked down and thought. Well, college meant school, and schooling meant what he had learned at the Camp. What did he like? His best marks were in history, and he really enjoyed hearing about the past and learning about other cultures. It felt similar to when he would shadow travel to a new spot in the country and just watch their mannerisms. He felt so out of touch with modern times and even the times he was born in, that history just felt like a story that continued on without him. It was so fascinating.

"I... I like history," Nico said tentatively. He knew that math and English weren't exactly his strong suits. "And I like Italian."

"You _are_ Italian."

"I don't speak it as well as I'd like to." Nico said. "I want to learn more about who I was. Maybe it'll help me find out who I am."

"I know who you are," Jason said, inching closer, a small smile on his face. Nico basked in his essence, drinking in his eyes and his scent. "You're Nico di Angelo, you're a son of Hades and a fantastic person. You're caring, secluded, thoughtful, and intelligent."

Nico snorted. "Dunno about that last one--"

"You care deeply about people, regardless of whether you think they care about you or not. That's why you pray to minor gods and goddesses and talk to abandoned Titans. That's why you saved your sister and stayed by my bedside. You don't realize that this is an extraordinary thing to do, and that's why it makes you beautiful."

Nico pressed his face into Jason's chest, closing his eyes.

"You are incredibly selfless, to the point where sometimes you take the fall. It doesn't matter, though, as long as people you love aren't hurt."

"I'm not that selfless." Nico interjected. "I'm here, aren't I? This is probably killing you right now." Nico's words turned into a mutter as his mouth pressed closer to Jason's chest.

"The fact that you thought of how I felt at all shows that you know how to empathize, something that is incredibly difficult for people who have been through so much trauma. Your soul remains unchanged, untainted by the horrors of Tartarus, even if your mind is rightfully terrified of it."

Nico hadn't thought about it like that. He'd certainly been afraid of Tartarus, but it hadn't changed who he was as a person. He didn't become more aggressive or ruthless. He hadn't even considered joining the Cult, even though Tartarus would've wanted him to think about it.

"You're a diamond, Nico." Jason said, tears falling from his eyes and landing on Nico's forehead. "And that's why I know that Tartarus won't take you. You're stronger. And you will come back."

Nico's eyes were wide and he clutched onto Jason's shirt desperately. A single sob burst through his lips. He couldn't believe that hope found its way into his heart. He was believing Jason's words. He clutched onto Jason as though being closer to the boy would bring him the self-confidence he needed.

"I love you," Nico burst out. "God, If there's anyone on this filthy planet--"

"You don't really believe that the planet is filthy," Jason chuckled. "You've seen too much of it to really believe that."

Nico laughed, wrapping his arms around Jason's neck. He pulled Jason into another kiss.

"I think I can do it," Nico whispered, tears filling his eyes again. Jason's chest swelled and he pulled Nico close.

"You better."

Nico was serious. Something had shifted, maybe this was what Reilly was talking about all that time. Nico saw himself through Jason's eyes for a moment. Nico saw who he really was. He looked at himself objectively and saw someone who was not ugly, but not beautiful. He saw someone that was neither the strongest nor the weakest, but certainly had experience to bolster him. He could do this. It would be difficult, but he could do this.

Nico relaxed in Jason's arms and started talking about all of the different things he would do when he grew up, and all of the experiences he expected to share with Jason.

* * *

Reilly and Nieva showed up in the apartment at about five that evening. They were more polite than Nico had been, and they knocked on the door of Jason's apartment and asked to come in. Jason's eyes dimmed at the sight of Reilly and Nieva, as though they were Nico's personal escorts into Hell. And in a way, they were.

"We thought we'd find you with him," Reilly said to Nico as he stepped into the dim apartment. "We need to review certain techniques before we go tomorrow."

Nico swallowed and glanced at Jason. Jason was looking away, his fists clenched. Nico felt much more composed after talking with Jason. He refused to leave Jason so abruptly. Something about this certainty was so absolute that Nico refused to believe that death was waiting for him in Tartarus.

"Oh, I don't think we've properly met," Reilly said, walking towards Jason, hand outstretched. Jason looked up, frowning. "I'm Reilly Hinton."

"I know." Jason said, not taking Reilly's hand. Nico couldn't help but to smile a little bit. Reilly shrugged and pocketed his hand.

"I've got feelings for someone else, you know." Reilly said. "I consider Nico nothing more than a friend, more like a student than anything else."

"Wait, who have you got feelings for?" Nico said, leaning forward, eager. Reilly looked away.

"It's not important, and it's fruitless anyway." Reilly murmured. "It's all irrelevant now, isn't it?"

"Not at all," Nico said. "Tell me!"

Reilly frowned at him. "Are you prepared for what we're about to do? Do you really understand what's about to happen to our camp and the responsibilities we have on our shoulders?"

Nico's smile melted into a stony glare. He stood up, straightening his clothes.

"I understand better than you, Reilly, of the task I have ahead of me. If I stress over it any more, I'll lose myself to panic. I'm not going to do that." Nico felt a hand slip into his own, softly. Nico looked over at Jason. Jason continued looking away, but he squeezed Nico's hand encouragingly.

"I'm glad to notice that your psyche seems strong, Jason," Nieva said, her voice scratchy. She cleared her throat, but Nico still caught the weakness of her speech. She was terrified, and she didn't let on. Jason looked up at her and nodded.

"All thanks to you, really." Jason said. "I really don't want to think about where I'd be if you didn't patch me together."

Nieva bowed her head, smiling politely. "I just helped you with what you were capable of yourself."

Jason stood suddenly. "Please--" Jason stopped, his eyes darting to Reilly for a hot second. He closed his eyes. "Please keep Nico safe."

Their eyebrows raised at Jason, looking at each other. Nico didn't want to leave Jason. He didn't want to leave Jason to have a panic attack.

"Nico's strong, Jason." Reilly said, stepping forward. "He's gotten much stronger over the short time he's been at Camp Nyx. I'm not just talking about sexually either." Nico noticed that Jason took a half step in front of Nico, shielding Nico from Reilly. Nico almost laughed. Jason was so protective. "He's unearthed latent powers that will help him survive Tartarus, he's fine-tuned his abilities so that he'll be able to go down with much more confidence than a few years ago."

"And you forget, Jason," Nieva stepped forward. "Our Mother is down there, Mother Night. She won't protect us the entire way, no, but she wants her children to be safe. Our survival is directly linked with her children's safety, so she will aid us, I know it."

Jason looked up into her eyes. Nico could kiss Nieva right now. If Jason needed anything, it was a godly certainty. Nieva reached into one of her pockets and pulled out a crystal, it looked like part of a broken geode. She closed her eyes and it glowed in her fingers. It dimmed to a faint greenish glow before she handed it over to Jason. Jason reached out with his free hand, the geode glowing still.

"Any time you're feeling severely anxious, just press this to your chest, holding it with both your hands. I suspect you're going to be unstable after Nico leaves, am I right?"

"Yeah," Jason's voice was thick.

"Is there anyone we could call for you?" Reilly asked. Jason nodded, sitting down on the bed again.

"Piper." Jason said. Reilly nodded and disappeared into the shadows. It was Nico's turn to be jealous. What did he want to see Piper for? Nieva made her way into the kitchen and started to pull things out of the refrigerator and pantry. Nico sat down next to Jason on the bed and kissed his cheek.

"I'll be okay." Nico said. He believed it too. "It would be stupid of me to tell you not to worry... but I'll be alright, Jason."

Jason squeezed the geode and its glow became a little brighter.

"Okay," Jason said, his voice small.

"I may as well fill you in while Reilly's out there fishing for that Aphrodite girl." Nieva said, ground beef sizzling in the pan before her. She threw some seasoning in, dropping oil into the pan. Nico looked back at Jason and stood up, walking towards the kitchen. Nico felt cold without Jason's touch, but he had to focus. He needed to focus on what was before him now. He watched Nieva pull things out of pantries, setting a pot of water for some jasmine rice to cook.

"The Cult is falling to shambles. Damien isn't able to hold them all together. Instead of rallying them together as a band of siblings defending their home, he said that anyone who deserted would be tracked down by the Romans, assumed guilty, and beheaded." Nieva snorted. Nico's eyebrows shot up. That was gruesome.

"Does he believe that?" Nico asked. Nieva shrugged.

"Probably. We're all terrified of what they're capable of."

"I think I can help you there." Jason stood up, his jaw set. Nico shook his head.

"I don't want you to do anything that may get you in trouble with the law here. Think carefully about what you're going to say," Nico said. The situation that they were in was a tricky one. Jason shook his head.

"This is why I'm more Greek than Roman, Nico." He said. "My loyalty is to those I love, not to the glory of our city."

"But it would be treason, Jason," Nico whispered. "I've seen them imprison people on lesser charges--"

Jason rose his voice. "You're going to be out there, right?" He snatched a notebook up from a pile on the ground. "And you, Nico di Angelo, are going to meet the Roman army in battle, right?" He plucked a pen from the cup on the kitchen counter. "So it is my duty as your lover to help you survive in _any_ way that I can." He sat down heavily on the chair next to Nico, frowning intensely at Nico. "If you dodge a _single_ blade, if you are able to protect your own life with the knowledge I give you, then jail is only a cost that I had to pay to protect you."

Nico was staring at Jason, his eyes wide. He'd never seen Jason like this. He'd come close, Jason had often seemed aggressively caring when Nico tried to insist that he was garbage, but this Jason was so filled with determination that he would risk his own freedom for Nico's safety. Nieva hadn't turned around, but a small smile found its way on her face.

Jason began to sketch a few plays. "There are some attack formations that Reyna prefers to use, especially when it comes to a smaller advance. These ones are the ones that I would think are the best." Jason put a little star next to the ones he liked, "but I know that Reyna likes _these_ ones. In particular, _this_ one--" he circled one of the attacks. "is one of her favorites. I don't know about Frank's preferences, but I have a feeling that he'll let Reyna take the lead in this advance."

"But doesn't the one you circled leave a large margin of error?" Reilly's voice was right next to Jason's ear. Jason reacted instinctively, turning around with his fist about to connect with Reilly's face. Reilly disappeared in a puff of shadow and reappeared in the kitchen next to Nieva. Piper was clutching her stomach and leaning against the refrigerator.

"Good shot, son of Jupiter," Reilly smiled. "A little slow and predictable, but it certainly had force behind it."

Jason squeezed his fists and glared at Reilly. Nico put a hand on Jason's closed fist and he bit down whatever he was about to cuss at Reilly.

"Hey, Nico," Piper said, her face pale. She clutched her head. "I hate shadow travel."

Nico chuckled. "You look awful."

Piper nodded. "Yeah, thanks."

"As I was saying," Reilly said, stepping forward to the bar where Jason was sitting. "Doesn't that one leave a huge gap for error?"

Jason chewed the inside of his mouth for a little bit before answering.

"Yeah. That's why I never liked it. Reyna trusts too much in the physical strength of her cohorts. From what Nico tells me, you don't fight in the Roman style. That's their weakness, only having one style of attack."

Reilly smirked. "We have several. As many gods as we represent, there's a new form of attack. Would they be fighting to kill?"

"Absolutely." Jason said. The room fell silent, save for the sizzling of vegetables in beef and the bubbling of half-cooked rice. Nico thought about the little kids back at the Camp. How many of them would die at the hands of the twelfth fulminata? How was he supposed to expect everyone to survive?

"Would..." Reilly cleared his throat. "Would it be held against us if we attacked with intent to kill?"

"What do you mean?" Jason asked.

"I mean..." Reilly sighed and leaned over the table. "We want peace, eventually. Personally, I'm sick of hiding behind this veil of mystery. I want to be able to meet people from other camps without being afraid for my life. So if we fight them back to hold our ground, will they hold this battle against us? "

Jason frowned thoughtfully. "I don't.... think so. Not with Reyna. And Frank is dating a daughter of the Underworld, so I don't think Frank would be against peace as much. But the Cult, I don't know if they'd trust you alone if the concept of the Cult can exist--"

"That's why we're going to Tartarus," Nieva said. Piper gasped, her hands flying to her mouth. Everyone turned to look at her. Her hands dropped a little, smiling sheepishly.

"Sorry," she said. "I've been trying to understand what's going on, but... you can't really mean the actual Tartarus, can you?"

"I'm afraid so," Nico said. Jason's hand found Nico's immediately. "We got a prophecy and everything."

"We need to get these plans back to Makoto," Reilly said, eyes still scanning the notebook paper thoughtfully. Jason ripped it out and handed it to Reilly. He folded it to a small square and slipped it into his pants pocket. "And _you_ need to practice summoning Death Mist without harming anyone around you."

Nico gave a start. He realized that the Death Mist was their one surefire way of camouflage in Tartarus. He was barely able to cover himself, how was he going to cover the three of them? Reilly had some experience in manipulating Death Mist, so if Nico could conjure some, he should have no problem spreading it thin over the three of them.

"Well let's think about that later." Nieva said, scooping rice and beef onto three separate bowls. There were red kidney beans in the rice, and she put some rice and beans into a separate bowl for Piper. "I made us dinner."

Reilly's eyebrows rose. "I'm impressed. I thought you were conducting some sort of social experiment."

Nieva scowled.

"Would you like a little cyanide in your beans or can you just cut the shit?"

Reilly laughed and took the bowl from her, sitting down on the other side of Jason. Piper took her bowl gratefully and sat across from Nico.

"No talking about Tartarus, or battles or anything awful like that, okay?" Nieva sounded exhausted, more exhausted than Nico had ever heard her. "Let's just... enjoy our dinner."

"Ah, but it's your cooking." Reilly grinned. "Can we really enjoy that?"

Nieva swung her wooden spoon at Reilly, but Reilly ducked in time, laughing. Jason had started in on his dinner and nodded.

"It's actually really good, Nieva!"

Piper picked at hers with her fork. "Is this--"

"Yours is completely vegan, Piper. I made the rice and beans in a separate pan." Nieva didn't have a bowl herself, but leaned against the counter with her eyes closed.

"Thank you!" Piper said, scooping some into her mouth. "Wow, it is really good."

"There's a first for everything, Gonzales." Reilly said, eating his dinner with gusto. Nieva chuckled and shook her head.

"So, this boy shows up in my room and brings me to the other side of the country," Piper laughed. "And I mean, it's not the craziest thing that's happened to me, so I just went along with it."

"I mean, we're practically siblings, you and I." Reilly said.

"Oh yeah, you said you were... son of...?"

"Eros," Reilly said between bites. "You have more in common with my sibling Seraphim. They're a child of Cupid and deal more with love, like Aphrodite."

"But you're a son of Eros, and you can shadow travel?" Piper asked. "What's that about?'

"Children of Love have much more power than the world has given them credit for. I'd love to work with you and see what sorts of powers you have hidden." Reilly smirked.

Piper threw her head back and laughed. "Don't you call me your sibling and then come onto me like that." She pointed her fork at him.

"Oh, so you noticed?" Reilly smiled. He bowed a little. "My apologies, Piper McLean. I'll do my best to be more subtle next time."

"Now if we're all done hitting on each other--" Jason mumbled.

"My work is never done, Jason, I though you'd understand that. A beautiful lady sits before me, I have to make a couple passes to see if I get a nibble."

"Oh, I'll nibble you, alright." Piper chuckled.

"Wow! Wow, okay, can we stop?" Jason yelled. Nico could tell that he was irritated, but he couldn't really place why. Maybe it was the inevitability of Nico's departure. Maybe Jason just didn't like Reilly.

"What about you, Jason? I've only heard about the sexual exploits of Zeus/Jupiter children in stories." Reilly bit his fork. "Your loins are legendary."

Jason stood angrily, and Reilly laughed. This only made Jason snarl towards Reilly. Nico tried to hold him back.

"Who do you think you are to come into my apartment and throw yourself all over my friends? What gives youthe right to slap your face all over my life? Why do I have to trust _you_ of all people with--" Jason was shaking. Nico understood now. Reilly's eyes were downturned.

"Jason..." Piper murmured.

"You must obviously have some sort of deficiency to think that It would be alright to come in here and insult me like this." Thunder rumbled overhead. Nieva's eyes were still closed. Nico didn't know what to do to calm Jason down, he was completely at a loss. "Just the fact-- the fact that you--"

"You're protective," Reilly said. "You're protective of Nico and you're jealous of me."

"I have nothing to be jealous of," Jason spat. Nico stood to pull him back.

"Jason--"

Reilly ducked his head in admission. "I'm sorry that I flirted with Piper in front of you. I was grasping for something that I was good at to ease my anxiety. You're jealous that I touched Nico in ways that you have yet to. You wanted to be his first."

Jason said nothing, his glare just as potent as it was before.

"I was his first, and now I'm going down there to protect him. You feel helpless. You feel as though you're left out of this entirely." Reilly murmured. Jason relaxed a little bit under Nico's arms. "And you're right. It should be you that protects him. It should be you that was his first. I'm sure he'll consider you his first, to be fair."

"It doesn't matter what's considered, it's what's fact," Jason growled.

"Oh, if it's fact you want," Reilly's voice rose angrily. "Then his first was with Succubus, the demon. His first was a rape, if you want your facts."

Jason flinched at Reilly's words, turning away from him. Nico pulled Jason closer to him.

"Now isn't the time to be squabbling over frivolous details like Nico's sex history."

"That's not why I was angry with you." Jason said.

"It's part of it, certainly. It's the only part I can help you come to understand. I can't do anything about where we're going and who is fated to go. But you can watch us leave with the knowledge that Nico has never and will never love me in the same way that he loves you. He's passionate about you, and no amount of nude contact we had will change that."

Nico glanced over at Piper and saw a small smile on her face, though she was looking away, as though she was thinking of something else.

"I'm being stupid," Jason murmured.

"Yeah, you are." Nico said firmly. Jason looked up at him. Nico kissed him on the cheek and closed his eyes. "But your emotions are high right now. I understand, Jason."

Jason rubbed his temples. "I'm sorry, Nieva. You just wanted a quiet dinner."

"Like Nico said," Nieva stood up straight, brushing down her skirt. "Emotions are high. I couldn't expect anything less. The emotions would've been even crazier for dinner at camp."

"Can I..." Piper rose her hand in the air partway. "So... Nico-- you slept with--"

"Not now, Piper," Jason sighed. Piper bit her lip and nodded. Reilly winked at Piper while Jason wasn't looking and Nico smiled. It may be an expression of his nerves, but Reilly's humor relaxed Nico, even if just a little bit.

"Well we shouldn't stall any longer," Nieva's voice said. "I hate to break this up." It was as though an anvil dropped onto the mood, and it was suddenly incredibly tense. Piper stood up and walked to Nieva, kissing her on the cheek. Nieva was shocked, her hand resting on the spot where Piper kissed her. Reilly accepted his kiss with more dignity, his eyes closed and whispering a thanks. Piper kissed Nico's forehead and pursed her lips with worry. She nodded, showing her faith in Nico. Nico smiled back at her. He often wondered what it would've been like if Piper learned about his secret instead of Jason. What advice would a daughter of Aphrodite have given? She was much stronger than Nico initially gave her credit for, and truly appreciated her. She retreated to go sit on the bed.

Nieva and Reilly walked to the corner of the room to give Nico and Jason a few moments of privacy. Jason was squeezing the geode so tightly that his knuckles whitened. Nico slipped his hand over the other side, and they held the gem together. Nico kissed Jason's fingers and Jason shook his head. closed his eyes and took a stabilizing breath. He looked up at Nico, his eyes blazing.

"Come back to me. Please."

Nico raised to his tiptoes and wrapped his arms around Jason's neck. Jason coiled his arms around Nico's middle and pulled him closer. Nico leaned his head towards Jason's ear.

"I will," he breathed. "I promise you."

Jason slackened his grip and pushed Nico away from him. Nico's stumbled a little bit in shock at the abruptness of the end.

"Okay, then go," Jason said firmly. "Go save lives and come back to me. Go on."

Nico smiled and nodded. He stepped back towards Jason and kissed him, quickly, a simple goodbye kiss.

"Keep a plate warm for me, okay?" Nico said. Piper pulled Jason to sit down on the bed. Jason was trying his hardest to keep his face composed, Nico could tell. The geode in his hand was glowing like crazy. Nico would not leave Jason in his mental torment. Nico swore to himself. If he was going to survive for anything, it was to see Jason at least one more time. They disappeared from the bedroom, the last image of Jason's struggling face imprinted in Nico's mind.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry for the delay! I had a friend come down to visit me so I was very busy all Spring Break. I love them so much. Okay, so I'll try and post another chapter by the end of the night, because you all were so patient! Thanks for reading and let me know what you think!


	13. Chapter 13

Nico expected to see the dim torchlight and feel the crisp breeze of Camp Nyx. Instead, the air was warm and humid, the sun setting over the Pacific in the distance.

Nico didn't even have to ask where they were. He knew the suburban city of Los Angeles almost as well as he knew the city of New York. He had spent so much time navigating its winding streets that he could almost tell where he was just by the way the air moved around him.

"I thought we were going to Camp first." Nico said, his heart falling into his stomach. "To give Makoto the plans."

"I sent them while we were traveling here," Reilly said. Nico shook his head. Reilly's ability was certainly unmatched in any respect.

"I really wanted to see the Camp first--"

"Why?" Nieva said. "That would just be delaying the inevitable. Laura gave us these." She pulled out a little medicine bottle out of her bag. "They're sleeping pills. The green ones will give us eight hours of dreamless sleep, the white ones make us stay up uninterrupted for eight hours. In case one of us needs to do watch."

"I don't know if this will help," Nico said. He held his head high. If now was the time that they were going to descend, he may as well do it with a firm resolve. "But it certainly can't hurt our chances of survival." He was the leader of this quest. He had to do what the prophecy told him. Just this morning. This morning! Nico took a breath and walked deeper into Los Angeles.

* * *

Getting to the Underworld wasn't the difficult part. Nico had done it hundreds of times before. Nieva and Reilly were almost like tourists following him. Reilly waved to Charon and Nieva laughed in amazement at Ceberus.

"Here you go boy," Nico said, throwing him a chew toy. He'd picked the chew toy up from a pet store before they found their way into the Underworld. Ceberus perked up at the sight of Nico, and Nico scratched behind the ears of his middle head.

"I mean, you told me about Ceberus," Reilly said, keeping his distance, eyes wide. "But I didn't really think that the dog would be this-- _big._ "

"He's just a little puppy, that's all," Nico said as Ceberus rolled over on his back, crushing some of the nearby souls. Nico scratched Ceberus's tummy and pressed his face into it. "He just needs a little loving, just like the rest of us."

"Are you afraid of dogs, Reilly?" Nieva asked, stepping forward to let one of Ceberus's heads catch her scent. Reilly crossed his arms, but still kept his distance.

"I'm not _afraid._ I am simply _cautious._ "

"Yeah," Nico snorted. "Afraid of Dogs. Got it."

"What are you doing here, Nico?" Nico knew that voice well. It was Lady Demeter out in the front lawn of Hades's Palace. She was probably visiting her daughter Persephone. Nico was thankful that Persephone wasn't the one who came out to visit Nico. She wasn't too keen on Nico. Demeter was neither here nor there about Nico's existence, and that suited Nico just fine. Nieva and Reilly took a knee immediately, their heads bowed in reverence. Demeter blinked in surprise, but smiled nonetheless.

"I like your friends. You should show me just as much respect, you know."

"I show you plenty of respect, Lady Demeter," Nico said, still scratching Ceberus's stomach. "You look well."

"Of course I look well," she snapped. "I'm a goddess, aren't I?"

"I meant that your mind seems calm," Nico clarified. Demeter was unfortunately also one with a short temper. "Did something good happen?" Demeter's eyes glossed over.

"I ran across an old friend and had a conversation with him a few minutes ago. I haven't seen him in over a hundred years. That's not too long for me, but I still missed him."

"Is... is he still here?" Nico asked.

"Why do you care?"

"My friends and I are following a prophecy sent by a man with brown skin, in his late twenties, he has a rough--"

Nico's speech froze in his throat as the man in question walked around Demeter, a hand on her back gently. The man's eyes shifted through colors like Piper's, and they were fixed just behind Nico. He was one of the most beautiful people that Nico had ever seen in his entire life. Nico began to get a headache, just staring at the man confused and scared him. Succubus? Could this be Succubus in disguise? But Nico could tell that the man before him was not a projection off Nico's mind, but him as he truly was. Who was this man?

Nieva stood and approached the man, a smile splitting her face.

"Josiah," she said happily. The beautiful man lifted Nieva up around the waist and spun her around in a circle. He let her down gently.

"Nieva, my snowflake." He kissed her forehead. He turned back to the goddess who was grimacing at the display of affection. "Thank you, oh beautiful goddess, for the tea and company. You have been a true friend."

Demeter smiled, a rare form. "Thank you, Josiah. It's unlikely that I will see you again." Josiah nodded and kissed her on the cheek. Demeter took his hand before disappearing in a cloud of pollen. Reilly was standing by Nieva and the newcomer, Josiah.

"Who are you?" Reilly whispered in breathless awe. Whatever Reilly was detecting was amazing. "What-- _what_ are you?" Never a good question.

Josiah twirled one of Nieva's braids in his fingers and he answered.

"My name is Josiah. I am the Incubus, stealer of souls of women through sex."

* * *

Nico's mind revved and he tried to connect the dots. He was obviously missing a crucial fact. Nieva was still holding him around his waist, her eyes closed, a smile upon her face. She honestly looked at peace. But this was Incubus? He hadn't even heard of Incubus. No one had even mentioned the existence of such a person. Something about his aura suggested that he wasn't lying. He was compelling, but he was the stealer of women. Reilly and Nico should be safe. Is that why Nieva ran towards him? But no, Nieva was asexual. They all should be safe against something like Incubus, and it was true that none of them were babbling messes.

"We have a few walks ahead of us, so I will answer your questions as we make headway." He stepped around Ceberus and Nico followed, shocked. This could be a trap. This probably was a trap. Nieva followed Josiah without hesitation. Reilly lingered back.

"Why should we trust you?" Reilly said, still wary, not moving.

"I'm afraid I will have to answer that as we make our way to Tartarus, brother."

"I am _not_ your brother." Reilly hissed.

"Do we not share a father?"

"You aren't my family. You're a monster."

"Reilly." Nieva stepped towards him. Reilly looked at Nieva in disbelief. "You can trust him. You know who I am, you know how I feel about what the Cult does. Josiah is different, I promise."

"How do I know that he's not influencing you?" Reilly asked.

"Oh my god, Reilly, we don't have time for this!" Nieva huffed. "I can't explain everything right now, but I can guarantee--"

" _His sister's traitor holds the book,/To end the fight with a single look_ ," Nico recited. He looked over at Reilly. "I think we are supposed to trust him. Who else would have the Books of Rebirth? Your own sister told me that Eros sires twins. Well, Succubus had to have had a twin, right?"

Reilly shook his head, staring at Josiah as though he could scarcely believe what was before him. Reilly took a tentative step forward and Josiah nodded as a thank you to Reilly. They followed Josiah deeper into the Underworld, past the safe boundaries that Nico knew so well.

"Why haven't we heard of you before?" Reilly asked. "You think that you would be just as popular as Succubus, but... I mean I've heard of Incubus, but everyone just thought... that since Succubus could turn into a male--"

"It's a very long story, and I will tell you everything, I promise." Josiah said. "What you received, Nico, wasn't entirely a prophecy. It was part of a prophecy told to my sister centuries ago. Did you enjoy the last stanza?"

"I can't forget them," Nico said. "How do you know that it's referring to me?"

"You're the master of that blade," Josiah said, without turning back. Nico's hand twitched instinctively. "You're the only one it could refer to."

"And... what am I supposed to do with it?"

"You need to kill us." He said sadly. "You need to come into Tartarus with me so you can stab through my sister's place of birth."

Nico steeled himself, clutching his fists. Succubus wasn't reformed yet, and he needed to cut her off before she got out.

"And then afterwards, if it wouldn't be too much trouble, I would like you to kill me as well." Josiah said. "We both have had a long enough run. That blade you wield. Do you remember how you came by it?"

"Of course," Nico murmured. "Minos told me to pick a weapon and I found it in the corner. It was kind of hidden, but I sort of... It felt like it was calling to me."

"They don't make blades like that to be carried by mortals. That blade was initially made for my sister."

Nico unsheathed the sword and held it at arms length. This sword had been so loyal to him, it had helped him in many battles and saved his life as well as others. How could it have been made for... for a monster?

"When she commissioned for it to be made, she was warned that stygian iron is rare and only serves few. They warned her that if she tried to wield a stygian blade without being its master, the blade would find her again and kill her." Nico was still staring at the sword, walking thoughtlessly behind Josiah. "It's one of the surefire ways of killing beings like us permanently. You may have noticed."

"Yeah," Nico murmured. He still couldn't believe that Succubus held this sword in her hands. He felt a surge of pride for his sword, he hadn't really thought much about its origins.

"That's why you are here now, Nico." Josiah said, turning around and stopping. They were a few meters before the pit. Nico could feel it pulling at him. He sheathed his sword and gathered his wits about him. "I need you to end both of us."

"Why?" Nico said. "Why do you want to die?"

"Because," Josiah smiled sadly as Nieva took his hand. "I'm tired. I'm tired of killing people to sustain me. I'm tired of betraying the trust of women just to kill them. I want to go to sleep. And I'm the only one who can stop my sister."

Nico believed him. He looked over at Reilly who was staring at Josiah with sad eyes.

"You remind me of my friend Lysander." Reilly murmured. "Why did you do it? Become Incubus? And how do you know and Nieva know each other?"

"That," Josiah said, taking out a pearl from his pocket and throwing it over the edge of Tartarus, "Is a story for the red terrain. Shall we embark together?"

Reilly grabbed Nico's hand. Nico was surprised to find that it was clammy and shaking. Nico was still thinking about his sword and how Incubus existed. Nieva folded into Josiah's arms.

"On three, then," Josiah's voice was calm for a person about to fall headfirst into hell. Then again, he was born there every few years, so it was probably just like a coming home. "One," Reilly hugged Nico tightly. "Two..."

"It's okay," Nico said. "The fall isn't that bad. I won't let go." Reilly nodded nervously. He had advanced powers when it came to the safety of Camp Nyx, but when they were out in the field, Reilly was as inexperienced as an 11 year old.

"Three."

They fell.

* * *

The fall was worse than Nico had remembered it. Last time he barely had time to register what had happened before he was able to save himself from hitting the bottom at full speed. This time, he was aware of what was ahead of him for every agonizing moment of descent. The wind screamed in his ears, he wasn't even able to make a shelter of darkness to talk to Reilly. Even worse, Reilly wasn't able to make one either. Nico would look before him to make sure that Nieva was alright in Josiah's arms, but he wasn't able to tell. The darkness was too thick for his eyes to discern if Nieva still had her soul or if that body he held was nothing more than a corpse.

They fell further and further, the air becoming thicker, Nico's ears popping several times with the rapid change of air pressure. So many little details that he had obliterated were coming back to him with vivid clarity. The specific combination of sulfur, charcoal, blood, and breath nearly sent him into a panic. He felt small in comparison to what he was about to face, and he knew that he was _incredibly_ small. He had become overconfident with the strength that Jason's arms gave him. He was speeding towards his death, with an agent of darkness leading him there.

Their surrounding lightened to a deep shade of red, and Nico was able to see a little clearer. His first instinct was to check on Nieva, and she was still very much alive. When Nico ducked his face back in, he saw the red reflected in the apples of Reilly's widened eyes. Reilly was staring into Nico's face. It was so strange, Nico thought, that Reilly still could exist. Nico had almost convinced himself that his death was so imminent that he may very well be dead right now. But Reilly stared at him with a curious look, not an entirely hopeless one. And then he did something incredible. Though his face was wrought with terror, he laughed.

 _We've nearly reached the bottom._ Josiah's voice in Nico's head. Nico's first instinct was to force it out with Reilly's training, but Josiah was too skilled. _Don't do that, let me talk to you. Your friend has an incredibly powerful mental block, and I'm unable to speak to him. I don't usually do this to males, you know._ Nico grimaced at the thought of his victims. Josiah continued on anyway. _I'm going to slow our descent, but you have to trust me. Don't reject my magic. Tell your friend, if you're able._ And he was out of Nico's head. Thank gods, to be honest. Nico hated the feeling of other people poking around inside his head with possible access to his thoughts.

Nico tried his best to charade to Reilly what Josiah had told him. Nico knew that Reilly understood when he grimaced. He angrily rested his head on Nico's chest and nodded against his shirt. Nico rolled his eyes. It was possible to retain personality while falling into Tartarus, that much Nico could tell.

Nico understood now why Josiah had warned Nico not to react. The winds stopped abruptly and Nico and Josiah hung suspended weightless in air. The walls around them still had that red tinge, but they seemed to be moving upwards instead of Nico and Reilly falling downwards. Nico couldn't tell which way gravity reacted. It flipped his stomach every which way and he felt nauseous and dizzy.

"This is the... that guy did this, didn't he?" Reilly's voice was deep and hoarse. Nico nodded, not trusting his mouth to open. "It's advanced magic..." He groaned. "I only wish he could've... maintained the inner-ear equilibrium."

"Shut up," Nico complained, pulling Reilly close in an attempt to find some sort of ground.

Nico felt his body float sideways--or was it down? It could've just as easily been upwards. Whichever way his body was moving, he felt his back press against a surface. The instant it did this, gravity restored itself with a vengeance. Reilly's body weight pressed down on him, his stomach did a grand finale of flips before landing like a rock back in its place, his lungs expelled every last gasp of breath, and Nico's head hit the rocky grounds.

"Jesus Christ," Reilly groaned, rolling off of Nico. Nico took gasps of the poisonous air and felt it burning his lungs immediately. Josiah was looking over him, smiling. Nico could hear Nieva vomiting to his left.

"You'll have to forgive me, my powers aren't too good in Tartarus."

"Isn't this your home court or something? Don't you visit here all the time?" Reilly growled, propping himself into a sitting position.

"I don't usually have to stop myself from falling, usually I've been stewing in a blister for about seven years."

"Gross," Nico said, rolling over to his stomach and pushing himself to sit next to Reilly.

"I'll be right back. There are a few things I need to collect before we can really embark. If I'm too long, Nico, you know what to do." Josiah turned and vanished into thin air. He didn't even seem to need the shadows to travel. Nico was starting to regain his sense of direction as Nieva crawled over to them.

"Sorry, I was in a meeting," she said, shakily.

"Welcome back," Reilly said wryly. Nico felt weak, he knew that the descent and the air around him was taking its toll.

"We need the Phlegethon," Nico rasped. He clutched his throat in pain, as though one of his vocal chords had turned into a razorblade.

"R-right," Reilly gasped, his eyes drooping. "Does that require movement?"

Nico got to his feet, offering Reilly his hand. "Most quests require movement, yeah."

"Well fuck, who signed me up for this one?" Reilly grumbled, taking Nico's hand. Nico helped Nieva to her feet as well. She swayed, but righted herself eventually.

"So, how do you and devil boy know each other?" Reilly asked of Nieva. Nieva looked away. "Come on, Nieva. You're buddies with Incubus and you expect that to be some fact that we can easily accept?"

"It's-- It's a long story," Nieva said.

"Oh is it? You shit all over Lysander and me when we tried to come over to Camp Nyx. You _still_ didn't trust me, just yesterday! You called for the destruction of my brothers and sisters and you're shacked up here with Succubus's twin brother, Incubus." Reilly laughed humorlessly. "Nieva. Daughter of Mania. Mathematician extraordinaire. The biggest Hypocrite this planet has ever seen."

"It's different than you think!" Nieva bit angrily. "He's nothing like Succubus! He's kind and helpful-- he's helping us now, isn't he?"

"Have you ever met Succubus?" Nico asked quietly. Nieva's expression softened. She pursed her lips.

"No, but--"

"Succubus was kind to me." Nico murmured. "She said that she loved every single man that she bedded. Each, more than the last. She said as she held me in her arms, that I was the one she loved most in the entire world. And I believed her."

"Nico..." Nieva said. "You-- you don't have to--"

"We can't take your word that he's trustworthy," Nico said, looking up. "You're female. You're his prey."

"I'm asexual!" Nieva begged.

"You've got a female soul." Reilly panted, stumbling in his stance. "You're still his dinner."

This arguing was wearing the three of them out. They really needed to get to the Phlegethon, Reilly especially. Nico and Nieva had powers of the Underworld, so that gave them a decent mastery of death, but Reilly wasn't technically a child of the Underworld, and he would be more susceptible to Tartarus's offenses. At least, that's what they had theorized.

"We can worry about who lied to whom after we're not slowly dying from poisoned air." Nico said, staggering along. He had forgotten how hard it was to walk without the aid of the disgusting Phlegethon sustaining him. Josiah had helped them, at least. The flaming river was only about a quarter mile from where they landed. It had taken Nico nearly two hours to reach it when he first fell into Tartarus.

"I don't want to," Reilly complained, falling to his knees anyway. He flinched as his finger was cut on a shard of glass. He began cussing and sucking at his wound.

"That's not going to heal unless you drink some of this," Nico said, gesturing towards the river.

"It's like one of those fancy alcoholic drinks you get at clubs that they light on fire," Nieva chuckled softly. "I've always wanted to try one of those."

"Yeah, and you don't have to pay twenty five dollars for this," Reilly said preparing his hands to scoop up some of the fire. "We've got as much as we want for miles."

"Lucky us," Nico said. "Alright, let's get it over with." Nico dipped his hands in quickly and brought them to his mouth, drinking as much of the disgusting, spicy water as possible. Keep it down, keep it down, keep it down, was all that Nico could think as his head spun for the second time in an hour. He heard Nieva regurgitate it back up and Reilly spluttering and crying out in pain.

"God fucking dammit!" Nieva cried. "If I throw up one more goddamned time--"

"What lovely carrying voices you three have," Josiah said, appearing out of thin air behind Nico. Nico could barely make him out through his watering eyes. Reilly was lying on the ground, his eyes blurry from tears. Nieva had forced her Phlegethon cocktail to stay down this time. Josiah handed each of them a crystal on a string, similar to the one that Nieva had in her bag or around her neck at all times.

"This allows me to control the magical fields around you."

"Why would we let you do that?" Reilly asked.

"Because where we're going, you're going to need my protection." Josiah said simply. "And Death Mist alone will not cover a group of this size and power."

"Power?" Nico asked.

"Sometimes Tartarus himself can sense when the more powerful of his creations are roaming around his back. If this creature is foreign, he can sometimes attack by sending his minions."

Oh god. Oh shit. Oh no. So Nico got through Tartarus because he was weak? Now that he was more powerful, would he be powerful enough to trip Tartarus's suspicions? What about Reilly? He was incredibly powerful, advanced too. Would the two of them together be an issue? Josiah was studying Nico's face.

"I don't even need mind control with you, do I? It's all right on your face." Josiah laughed. Nico's face hardened.

"What does that mean? Are we in danger, the more powerful we are?"

"Not individually. In packs of two, we don't radiate an unheard of amount of power. But together, the four of us... we've all got skills of our own rights. We can each hold our own. If I allowed us to move unprotected as a group across Tartarus, we would be set upon immediately." Nico knew that there was no other choice. Josiah took his silence as defeat and lifted his hand above his head.

Reilly put the crystal around his neck, Nieva already had the one that was basically her essence, and Nico wrapped his around his wrist. He picked up magic through crystals well enough, while Reilly was still not very good at it. He was better than Nico by miles, but it wasn't his preferred method of using magic. Josiah began walking.

"I promised you a story, and I told you that it would be long," Josiah said before them, walking with beautiful strides. "We have time. I'm walking to my death. I have to leave my story with somebody."

"Isn't it in the book?" Reilly asked.

"Not exactly," Josiah chuckled. "Listen. Don't interrupt. I will pause for you to drink for health, but please. I haven't told my story to anyone."

Nieva's eyes were wide, desperate for the knowledge. Nico was still unsure about Nieva's mental stability when it came to Josiah, and hoped that the Incubus wasn't affecting her judgment.

"Let me tell you the story of Succubus and Incubus."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Ah. This upcoming chapter is really long, and we're coming up to where I'm currently writing. So much background is leading up to this moment. Let me know what you think!


	14. Chapter 14

**_Josiah's POV_ **

We were born Catherine and Josiah in 1320. We lived in what is now known as Turkey, on the banks of the Black Sea. Our childhood... our childhood was difficult. As it still is with children of Eros, we were assaulted by the men that our mother brought into the house. Men would try and steal Catherine for their own, often dragging her out of our home by her hair or stealing her in the dead of night. I always found her. Always. You see, she was always sick, so she never had time to gain enough muscle to fight back. We were also only about ten years old when everything really started to happen.

To be honest, I can't remember a single adult from my childhood treating me the same as any other child. The women loved to dote upon me, often touching me too much, begging me to grow up, the men would take what they wanted from me, whether I could stop them or not. If they didn't love me, they thought I was a demon sent to tempt them, and they thought my mother as the whore of Babylon. Catherine had it worse than I did. At least I was a boy.

By the time we gathered enough courage to run away, we were fifteen years old. We had no shelter, barely any food. That's when we met our father.

We were following the beach of the sea, carefully hiding in the shadows, traveling only at night. We came across him sitting before a fire and cooking a fantastic meal.

"Hello, travelers," He called to us. We were certain that we had hidden in the shadows pretty well, but there couldn't be anyone else he was talking to. Something about him was familiar, though, so Catherine and I approached him. He was easily the most beautiful person I had ever seen in my life. I wanted to leap on him and kiss him. All of the violent experiences with sex had disappeared and I desired it more than anything in the world. He smiled at Catherine and my faces. He shimmered and my mind faded back to normal.

"You... who are you?" Catherine asked.

"I am Lord Eros, the god of sex." He said, placing another roasted fish on the platter beside him. He had flat breads and rice in a pot, and I could feel my mouth fill with saliva. Lord Eros was delectable, but there was nothing I wanted more than a hot meal.

"Did... did you say that you were God?" Catherine breathed. I wasn't paying attention too closely, but that sentence piqued my interest.

Eros laughed, his eyes bright. " No, no, no. I'm not nearly that important. I'm a smaller god. A Greek god. Not even a big one." He pulled some roasted vegetables off of his skewer and placed them on the fish. He saw how closely I was watching and he winked.

"Greek... What?" Catherine asked.

"How much do you know about the ancients and their religions?"

"Not much." I said, peeling my eyes away from the food. "All we know is that it was pagan heresy."

"Well it certainly was pagan, but it wasn't necessarily heresy, considering we are all very real."

He handed us each a plate of food and proceeded to tell us about the Greek gods and goddesses. He told us how they really existed. He said that we were demigods, half god and half human, and we had some of his powers. Both of us nearly licked our plates clean, though we listened intently. Catherine was intrigued by all this knowledge, asking relevant questions and really pushing the boundaries of Eros's knowledge.

"This 'Mist' that you're talking about, is it just sort of an existing thing, or can I sort of blow it up around me to disguise myself?"

"Disguise yourself as what?"

"I just want to make myself look like an ugly old hag, or a plain maid-- I don't want to draw attention with my looks, and if this Mist can deceive mortals--"

"I have a power that allows you to manipulate your own appearance, but not so much. It'll dim your attractive aura, but it won't change your facial features too much. Something like that would have to be taught through magic."

"I can learn magic?" Catherine said, leaning forward, her eyes wide in the firelight. I could feel her excitement radiating off of her. "I thought you said that Hecate--"

"Anyone can learn magic, if they have the will." Eros said, smiling at her enthusiasm. "It will be difficult, not being the children of Hecate, but I'm certain you can do it."

I drew circles in the sand, listening to the pulsing of the waves. I knew how weak Catherine had felt her entire life. I knew how much this knowledge had meant to her. I still couldn't help but to hate Eros for coming to us now. He cursed us with this... sexual attraction, and we were deformed. It was our fault that we were beaten relentlessly. We were irresistible to mortals, and we would have to control this. It wasn't fair. It was disgusting.

"Josiah, my son, what's wrong?"

I gave a start and turned to him. How dare he call me his son! When had he ever been a father to me? What gave him the right to call me anything? I could feel the sneer distort my face.

"I believe that you are Lord Eros. I believe everything you've told me. I just don't have any obligation to love you or call you my father. You've done nothing but curse me my entire life."

Eros nodded. "I understand," he whispered. "You are bound by no obligation to care for me or for the gods at all. But you should know that I have not cursed you, that I have blessed you."

"Blessed?" I screamed, shooting to my feet. I pulled up my shirt and showed him a scar on my stomach where a man had stabbed me for tempting him. This happened only a few days ago. "Do you call this a blessing? Do you call being assaulted and beaten and robbed a blessing? If this is a blessing, your curses must be hell! I can't even imagine anything worse than living like this! Life is hell, and my existence is your fault!" Every violent thing I'd been thinking was aimed at Eros now. Everything had a reason now, and the reason was sitting before me. "You-- with your sex-- what is sex for anyway? For creating new people? For pleasure? Sex to me has always been a way of asserting dominance and pain. If this is the sex you stand for, I'd rather drown myself than be a part of your representation."

I fell to my knees on the beach, too emotional to continue. My self-hatred was eating straight through my stomach.

"I have bestowed a blessing upon you," Eros said quietly, wrapping me in a hug with his words. "It is everyone else that is vile. Every single person who dirtied their hands with your pride chose to do so. For some reason, men think that they deserve sex from beautiful beings, and they will take it at any cost. They may not think that they had any choice but to attack you, but they did. And they chose awful violence. It's an animal nature that they turn to, and it isn't your fault."

"How can I ask people to make that choice? Why should I present them with that option anyway?"

"I honestly didn't make it too difficult to resist. The power you radiate as children is almost nonexistent. Only those who look for it find that attraction. It continues this way until you are twenty-five years old. Of course, when you find someone else attractive, it intensifies, but other than that, you two are nothing more than beautiful people. There is _barely_ anything magical about you at all. Your violators are bastards that had plenty of other options."

My pointed finger was gone. I couldn't blame Eros for my awful experience as much as I did before. I had to point at humanity as a whole. My past showed me that people were terrible. People who had other choices decided to stab and beat and rape me, and it wasn't fair.

"It's not fair," Catherine murmured, scooting up beside me, wrapping an arm around my trembling shoulder. "It's not fair, but we know that not everyone is like this. I'll learn magic, Josiah. I'll learn and we can be hideous together."

I looked up at her. She had dark black hair, slightly wavy like mine. Her eyes were bright hazel, unusually so. I always had to fight for her. She was physically weak and easily caught sickness. Whenever boys in our neighborhood tried to sneak into her bed, I would beat them to a pulp to protect her. She wanted to protect me now. Maybe I could let her. I nodded. She turned back to Eros.

"Do you know anyone who could teach us magic?"

"Most of the Sorceresses won't teach a male." Eros said, frowning, looking away in thought. "But... I know of one who owes me a favor. I suppose I could cash that in for you to learn under her."

"They don't teach _men_?" I asked, incredulous. Eros nodded. "Why?"

Eros shrugged. "Something about men being too emotional and lacking of ration. Look at this earth in the hands of men! I agree with them too, especially because women are superior sexually as well."

"No way," I said in awe. "how--"

"We'll learn later," Catherine said, cutting me off. "Who is this sorceress you're talking about?"

"Her name is Pasiphae. She is incredibly skilled and is hundreds of years old. It will require you to leave this land and everyone you know--"

Catherine snorted. "You obviously haven't been paying close attention to our lives if you think something like that is a problem."

Eros bowed his head in understanding. "Then I suppose... you two should be off."

He disappeared with a breeze off of the sea, and we were sand in the wind along with him. We appeared moments later before a palace, north of where we lived. Several of her students stood before us, as though they were expecting our arrival and not at all pleased at it. I assumed correctly that it was because I was a man.

Learning under Pasiphaë was difficult. Catherine picked it up immediately, she was Pasiphaë's star pupil. I had to try and learn while everyone else assumed that my gender was what impeded me. It was awful at first, but I realized that this was exactly what society did to females. This entitlement was what drew men to harass me. Their scoffs only made me work harder to learn as much as I could. Catherine would help me when I couldn't get something, and I was forever grateful for my sister.

We studied ten years under the sorceress Pasiphaë, and in that time Catherine and I became her most successful students. We still had much to learn, the Lady had an endless mass of knowledge, but Catherine was overcome with her wanderlust. She wanted to see the world before her time was up. She wanted to see everything that the gods bestowed upon us. So after ten long, toiling years, we set out into the world as expert sorcerers. The world we remembered was ready to pounce and bury its claws in our vulnerable flesh at any moment, but we were covered in armor now. We knew how to care for ourselves. Well, we thought so.

After we left Pasiphaë's convent, monsters of Tartarus attacked us relentlessly. We knew how to defeat them, of course, but there were just so many of them. We knew, of course, that they would attack, but we didn't know that they would attack in such numbers. It had to be our strength and knowledge that they smelled, and so we radiated power. We set out upon the world to see sights we had never seen, but it was hard to go sightseeing when harpies kept pecking at your eyes

I look back at those two years of fighting monsters and sleeping in caves as a breath of freedom. Two years after we left Pasiphaë, Catherine caught an early string of the Black Death. Now, I know the horror stories that they tell of the Plague, but believe me, the realization is terrifying. It was incurable, even by magic. The Plague was a death sentence, much like cancer is now. I'd never seen Catherine so dead when she received her diagnosis. I remember the depth of her eyes... as though her soul was down in the depths of hell. I remember how limp her body was, as though she had nearly given everything up.

"Why?" she whispered. The rain was coming down in sheets, threatening to break through the wooden roof. "It's not fair. Is this our Father's doing?"

"No," I responded, holding her closely. Most people would stay away from her for terror of catching the disease, but I didn't care. "This isn't the work of a god, but the work of man."

"Man is cruel," she was shaking. "Man is a vile creation. Why do we give men such power?"

I sighed. "I don't know, Catherine." She had sworn herself off of sex until she had perfected her skills. The only time in two years of leaving the convent that Catherine had sexual contact was when a traveler forced his way into her. She pushed him off of her eventually, but he was a big brute, and the damage he wreaked was permanent in this diagnosis.

"It's not fair," she whispered. "For what have I been studying? Am I going to die this soon?"

I took her hand in mine. Teardrops fell thickly on the back of my hand. "Do you remember the great Greek tragedies?" She nodded. "Your story is not for nothing. You aren't dead yet. Make something of it, Catherine."

These were the wrong words to say, I realize now. She stood abruptly, frowning intensely at me.

"You're right." she said fiercely. "I'm _not_ dead yet." She grabbed my hand and pulled me to a standing position. She kicked the door open. "And I refuse to become a tragedy."

We headed west from there. Our destination was England, and the entrance to the Underworld. It was particularly difficult traveling long distances. This was before our knowledge of shadow travel, for Pasiphaë never dealt with Underworld magic. Underworld magic, she said, was synonymous to Dark magic. Of course this wasn't true, but we still didn't know anything about it.

Getting into the Underworld the first time was a very interesting experience. We had plenty of drachma to bribe Charon to take us down. Catherine was leading us deeper into the Underworld until at last, we sat on the banks of the Styx.

As though a bell had been tolled, Lord Hades appeared beside us.

"What exactly are a pair of Eros's children doing in my domain?"

We bowed, our foreheads pressed to the ground.

"My name is Catherine and this is my brother, Josiah. It is true that we are children of Eros, my Lord." Catherine said, still kneeling. I could feel Catherine's subtle magic and stunning beauty entrancing the Lord of the Underworld. She had learned a lot while studying with Pasiphaë. I still couldn't figure her aims, though.

"What are you two doing here on the banks of the River Styx? You don't intend on making that foolish plunge, do you?" He asked, crossing his arms. I looked at Catherine. Did she? She shook her head.

"I am not strong enough, my Lord, as you may be able to tell. Your agent, Thanatos, is circling above me, and I haven't got much time left."

Hades smirked. "I always loved that phrase. 'Haven't got much time left'. You never had much time to begin with, girl."

Catherine nodded. "I would like to make a simple request." Her magic spilled out of her in waves, but it was as subtle and undetectable as poison gas. The only reason I knew it was there was because I knew her style. I kept my composition and my head bowed.

"What is it?" Hades snapped.

"I hear rumors about a metal that can kill man and mortal. I hear that it doesn't send monsters to Tartarus as Celestial bronze does. I hear that it's mined here in your land and cooled in this river--"

"The metal you speak of is Stygian Iron," He said carefully. "It's a metal that's seldom wielded by mortals. Nyx has a chariot made of this metal, and some titan has some armor of it, don't ask me which, I don't care." He said waving his hand passively. "Do you think I would allow simple minor demigods as yourselves to handle such a volatile creation--"

"My Lord," she pleaded. The magic she was expelling was almost suffocating me now, I bowed even deeper to hide my discomfort. I assumed that the only reason we weren't burn spots on the banks of the river was because her magic was calming Hades down. "I only request one sword. My life may be short and meaningless, but I do believe that I have something to prove to this planet. I can't show my worth if I'm constantly attacked by the same monsters of Tartarus. Please. I will forever be in your debt."

There was a great pause. I was certain that Hades was mulling over which way he wanted us to die. Maybe that's what Catherine came down here for. Suicide via Hades. Eventually he spoke.

"I will have a sword forged for you. Only for you." He clarified. At the time I took it as an insult, but I know now that the insult was for Catherine. Catherine looked up at Hades's face and beamed, Hades becoming transfixed by her for a moment before snapping out of it.

"Thank you, My Lord. I promise to always speak highly of you."

"Would you swear on the River Styx?" he teased. Catherine blinked, her mouth opening and closing. "I'm only joking. Up you get. We have certain things to discuss."

Inside Hades's mansion was just as intimidating as I expected it, perhaps even more so. Persephone was just as frigid as I expected her to be. This past spring had been a quick and chilly one, so she too represented the season. It was here that I met Demeter. Hades took Catherine down to the forges and I was left to walk among the sad gardens with the goddess Demeter.

"You love your sister very much," she said, blooming the flowers. I nodded. "You are damning yourself if you follow her down this path."

Somehow, I felt that I knew that. It had always been the pair of us, though. I had no life outside of my sister. Though I was more powerful than I was before, it didn't mean I had a place to go or a motive of my own. My goal was to protect my sister, to make sure that she was comfortable. I couldn't imagine what I would do without her. I was the body, and she was the soul.

"I suppose the decision has been made years ago, when you two were born. You'd do anything for your sister, won't you?" I nodded. "Grow a backbone, won't you? She'll be fine on her own. And so will you."

I didn't respond. Of course I had thought about living without Catherine, but I never seriously considered it. I'd worry too much about her wellbeing. What Demeter was saying seemed impossible. I didn't contribute to much of that conversation with Demeter, mostly she walked around the garden as I followed.

When Catherine and Hades emerged from the forges, Hade held a steaming back sword in his hands. It was a simple make, nothing fancy, but it was beautiful and ethereal. He gripped its hilt and held it above his head.

"This sword is one of a kind. It was crafted for mortal use, which is rare. The magic imbibed in this sword is temperamental. It will only serve one mortal."

Catherine's eyes held a spark that I had never seen. She looked up at the sword greedily, as though she would take it and absorb it into her body. I'd never seen her like that before. I was scared. Hades continued.

"I will hand you this sword, but it may very well reject you. You won't be able to tell, but a curse will befall you. If you use this sword with the knowledge that you aren't its master, it will eventually turn and kill you."

Catherine smirked for half a second, but it was gone almost instantly, covered up by her thick magic. What was her deal? What was she doing? She took the sword from Hades and held it in her hand. She hissed and tightened her grip on the sword, falling to her knees. I could see smoke curling from her fingers. I rushed forward, trying to pry the sword from her hands, but she wouldn't let go.

"Catherine-- Catherine, it's harming you! You'll be scarred!"

"It's okay..." she whispered. "I just have... to get through this little hurdle--"

"No you don't," Hades laughed. "This means that the sword hasn't chosen you! The fact that it exists must mean that there will eventually be a mortal master of it, but you are not it."

"No--" Catherine gritted her teeth. Her magic was waning, and I used my own magic to cover her up. "No, I-- I have to do this. I have to wield this sword--"

"Why?" I asked. "If what Lord Hades said is true, it will kill you--"

She lifted her free hand to my face and smiled in agony. "I've got a plan, brother. If you'll follow me wherever I go."

"Of _course_ I will, Catherine. But what--?"

She screamed and clutched the sword even tighter. With a spark like lightning and the scent of burning skin, the sword stopped burning her. She was panting, leaning against my shoulder. Her body was so weak already... why would she put herself through such toil? I rubbed her back and leaned my head against hers. Whatever she was doing, I would follow her through, to make sure that she was safe. Hades laughed at us. Demeter watched on silently. Persephone was nowhere to be found.

We left the Underworld with some difficulty. Catherine was still incredibly weak, so it was me who had to sweet-talk Charon to let us through. He was very keen on me, actually, though he was suspicious of the sword Catherine was carrying. I kissed Charon a few times and he forgot that he even saw the sword.

Back above in mortal territory Catherine finally let the sword clatter to the ground, her hand blistered and red. If she were not a skilled sorceress, the hand would have been unusable for the rest of her life. I carried her to the bank of the Thames and she dipped her hand in the water and began working on it immediately, pulling out herbs and flipping through her spell book.

"What was that all about, Catherine?" I asked her angrily. "We risked our lives for a sword that nearly killed you? And what is all this 'I don't have much time left' horse shit you were playing with Hades? What's going _on_ Catherine?"

She quietly poured the water over her hand, the blisters fading and her natural skin tone coming back slowly. I hated not knowing what was going on inside her head. I felt betrayed, as though she was doing something to spite me. I didn't know how to react. For the first time in my life, I felt deserted.

"Forgive me, Josiah," she whispered eventually. I gave a start. I was thinking that she was going to leave me, as Demeter had assumed. I was preparing myself to curl up, useless, on the side of this river. "I was waiting for a moment of safety before I could tell you."

"Tell me what, sister?" I knelt beside her and took her newly healing hand in my own. I continued pouring water and rubbing herbs on it, finishing the work she had begun.

"I'm... I'm afraid to die."

I laughed sadly. "I know this."

"What if..." she muttered. "What if I don't have to die?" She looked up at me, a spark of something in her eyes. I didn't know what to say to this. I could scarcely believe my own ears. Had the disease spread to her brain already? This talk was crazy.

I spoke slowly, "Catherine..."

"No, listen." She said, inching towards me. "Immortality is possible, not just for gods and goddesses, but for sorceresses like Pasiphaë and Circe. Legends, like Medusa and Minotaur. We're not ordinary mortal rats, Josiah, we are part god."

She stilled my hand and tilted my head up to look at her.

"We can become legend. We just need the time. I've been studying this for years. My sickness has only made me more determined to find the answer. I know how to extend life, but how to truly become immortal? That's a secret I've been trying to unlock with this trek out into the world."

"Why didn't you tell me?" I whispered, betrayed. She stroked my face with her hand gently.

"Because I didn't want to imbibe you with false hope. But I think I've discovered a secret." She lifted the stygian iron sword. "I need to study what happens to monsters from Tartarus when they're killed with stygian iron. There may be properties to rebirth that I haven't--"

"Catherine, you want to become like a monster from Tartarus?" I whispered. A heavy pause followed my question, answering it better than language could have. "You want to... you want to become a monster?"

"It's not the means of life that makes someone a monster, Josiah, it's their character." she said firmly. "We're just as human and mortal as the monsters that attacked us as children. Why can't we borrow some of the benefits of the monsters that attack us now? I still have so much that I want to learn, so much life I want to live--"

"But a _monster_ , Catherine," I begged. "You want to become a _monster_ \--"

"You don't understand," she bit, standing angrily and turning away. "You have twenty, maybe thirty years ahead of you. My life is being cut short with a blunt axe. I don't see why my life has to compose of suffering with a bitter end. I'm still alive. I will do whatever it takes to survive. That's the nature of all beings everywhere, to survive. And I will, Josiah."

"You mentioned Pasiphaë and Circe, they're-- they're not monsters of Tartarus, maybe we can figure out how to survive like them--"

"No, but they're stories from _Greece_. We live after the ancient times. There's no way we can achieve the same immortality that they have. And I'm not entirely certain that they don't spawn from Tartarus themselves."

"Catherine--!" I couldn't believe she was talking about our teacher this way. She frowned at me.

"I'm only thinking logically. We know that gods and goddesses are immortal because they are there initially. We know that monsters of Tartarus are immortal because they dissolve to dust and their essences return to Tartarus to get reborn. Where does Lady Pasiphae fit into that equation? Is she some third, mysterious section?"

I had never thought about the immortals with the depth and knowledge that Catherine spoke. She had given this some very serious thought, and I didn't know how to accept what she was saying. How out of touch had I become with my sister?

"Monsters of Tartarus eat people." I said eventually. "they devour flesh to gain strength. Is this what you want to do?"

"It's true that they need to feed upon mortals to survive. I don't know if we will need to do the same thing." She said frowning. "You've had sex with men and women, yes?"

"Of course," I responded. I was a child of Eros after all. Ten years of abstinence wasn't entirely possible in my case.

"Have you ever noticed... at the point of orgasm, you can almost feel the soul dislodge itself from the body, as though it's ready to be plucked--"

"You want to steal souls?" I breathed. "Not just flesh, but-- the soul--"

"They're much more powerful than mere flesh." she seemed desperate to convince me. "A single soul can empower a demigod body for months, not just a few hours as flesh does."

"You're robbing that person of the destiny of their afterlife--"

"Robbing them of the eternity of Asphodel, where they grow faint, forgetful of their own name and existence and rot there? They're like coal underground, protected by a greedy troll."

I covered my mouth with my hand. "Don't speak of Lord Hades that way--"

"We will leave his horde untouched, when there are so many souls up here anyway."

"You're talking about _people_ , Catherine. People who have lives and loves-- real people, not just theory." I said, standing finally to try and match her eye level. She began to pace as though she didn't want to stop and face me.

"I'll lure them," she said, turning to me. "I'll stand in my natural form and lure men in with my beauty. When they try and take me, I won't fight back, but I will steal them and empower myself."

I blinked. This logic seemed sound if you were to ask me back then. I too wanted revenge on the people that hurt us as children, but there was something about it that bothered me. I could never place what. When she saw that I had no issue with this, she beamed and hugged me around the neck.

"Imagine. We can visit Germany and India. We can cross the seas ourselves and see the whole world. Just you and me. We can learn and love and feast on rapists. Our time together now is limited. I don't want to be without you, even in Hades. And I can't face eternity without you either. Brother, please. I can't do this without you."

I realized that this was what I had truly feared. I was afraid that Catherine wanted to extend her life without me, that she was concocting all of this to live without me. I was terrified of that idea. I realized that the alternative of attempting immortality would be a mortal life alone without her. I hugged her back tightly and she smiled against my cheek.

"I knew that I could count on you." she whispered, kissing my cheek. "I love you, Josiah."

"I love you too," I murmured, unsure of what I had just gotten myself into. We left the Thames that night stumbling as we walked, weighed down with our decision. I felt dragged along as though Catherine tied me to her. I couldn't help but to follow her into the depths. I may be trying to save face for the sake of my current morality. To be honest, I may have been tentative but I can not lie and say that I wasn't excited about the idea that we could outsmart our mortality.

* * *

The initial tests were simple enough, they were similar to the tests that I've seen the Cult perform. We slept with enfeebled men and women of the town and plucked their soul out of their bodies, not keeping them for ourselves, but studying the properties they had. We held a few souls on us at all time and watched as they diminished in power. We kept the sludge created by monsters of Tartarus after stabbing them with the Stygian sword. We did all of this within the months after visiting the Underworld as Catherine's health declined. She kept trying to restore herself using little spells, but most of her energy was spent working towards immortality.

I remember when we first met children of the gods of the Underworld. We had somehow irritated a band of Erebus brothers and were jumped by them. We batted our eyelashes and acted coy, and slept our way into their trust. The brothers were heavily involved with everything involving Tartarus, and Catherine couldn't have been happier. Well, I shouldn't say that. She was determined. I'm not sure Catherine could feel happy if she was dying. I told them that I wanted to learn how to increase my powers and feed upon mortals, and they weren't too offended or even surprised. They introduced us to some _emposai_ friends and we sat down with them and asked them questions. One of them even allowed us to kill her and study the dust that she left. They were helpful and kind. All of us, we monsters, children of Eros and Erebus, _emposai_ of Tartarus, descended upon towns and wreaked havoc upon the mortals. The brothers of Erebus frightened the people, we stole their souls, and the _emposai_ devoured their flesh. It was during these times that Catherine first heard the name 'Succubus' and wore it like a garland of roses. We were a team, living and working and loving together, until Catherine killed an _emposa_ in her sleep with the stygian sword. We shadow traveled away, far away, where the _emposa_ couldn't exact their revenge.

We were so close, we had so much power and gained it in such a short amount of time. It had been two years since Catherine's diagnosis, and she used loads of magic to hide her sunken cheeks and her protruding spine. Her bony hands worked tirelessly to perfecting spells and rewriting theories. When the day came, she approached me with the last few acts we would have to do. We had already committed several uncomfortable acts, including but not limited to sleeping together, drinking a brew of our own hair and fingernails, eating crows hearts imbibed with spider's eggs, and sniffing powdered herbs up our noses. The final act that she had discovered did not come as a surprise to me. Catherine had pooled her most potent elixirs that substituted our blood for a plasma and kept the essence of our minds, memories, personalities, encased in indestructible diamonds. The ending of all of this work was surreal, and I'm not sure I really understood it. Not even as she came to me on that last day.

"We need to eat mother's heart," she said. "And I've checked, she's still living. For now. But we need to eat it, in Tartarus, after we've dug into the flesh of the monster and buried ourselves in his pus."

I wish I could say that I was disgusted or appalled at this action, but all I could do was nod dutifully and follow. It was too late for apprehension. We'd come too far already. It had been four years since we left our teacher Pasiphaë and the comforts of her convent. It felt like a long time. I could scarcely imagine what an eternity of this could feel like.

Killing our mother was easier than I care to admit. There was something that I had left when I had agreed to embark on this journey with my sister. Emotions got in the way of obtaining power, and in this case, obtaining the beating heart of my mother. I held it with me as we slipped our way unnoticed into the Underworld. Our year or so with the brothers of Erebus unlocked several secrets of the night to us. Falling into Tartarus was surreal. I had lost so much of myself that I can't honestly say that I felt something while eating the raw heart of my mother.

"Are you sure that you're going to be alright taking in female souls?" She asked me for the hundredth time. "High emotion is best when taking the souls--"

"I know, Catherine, I know," I repeated. "But I'm sure."

I can't really tell you my reasoning for the desire to take female souls, but I don't regret it after my experience. The female soul, regardless of sex, is a kinder thing, soft after years of rough tenderizing. When I slept with females, they were generally looking for love. Hardly any of them wanted to rape me. I didn't want to power myself on hatred. I wanted to power myself on the love that I felt for the females.

We saw Tartarus bleed and pus, stripped ourselves nude, swallowed the last bit of potion, and dissolved into his body. I remember feeling pain beyond anything bearable. I lived and died several times within those few moments, wanting the agony to stop and for my consciousness to cease. I was fully awake for every instant that I was assimilated into Tartarus's skin. Seven years of this pain. Seven full years of unending pain threaded through me, and suddenly it stopped. Seven years later, our boils burst and we were nude and dripping on the blistered ground. I watched as Catherine gasped and fell beside me, wiping the pus out of her eyes and wrung it from her hair. She was full-cheeked, red-haired and pale as moonlight. She looked nothing like the sister I remembered, but I knew unmistakably that it was her.

We sat up at the gray, blood-clouded sky and laughed.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Okay, so updates are going to be a little less frequent coming up, as I still have quite a bit left to write, some loose ends to tie up. Let me know what you think!


	15. Chapter 15

Reilly fell roughly to the river's edge and drank the flaming water with cupped hands. Nico dropped down next to him and Nieva watched, breathing raggedly. Josiah paused in his story to find more essentials and make sure that they weren't being followed by any monsters. Nico lay on the ground, exhausted and scared, thinking about Josiah's story. He and his sister had done awful things to so many people, and he had succeeded and reaped the reward of immortality. Catherine was incredibly gifted and absolutely terrified of her fate. Nico couldn't understand how she was willing to accept an alternate fate filled with murder and rape as opposed to the gifts and rest that the Underworld offered. Then again, Nico was more in touch with his mortality than most others, being the son of the Underworld.

"I don't understand you at all, Nieva," Reilly gasped as he collapsed on Nico's shoulder. "You still love this guy even after all of the shit he's done?"

"You don't understand anything, Reilly," Nieva murmured, dropping easily next to the river and drinking fire from her cupped hands. She cringed and finished the awful mouthful. "He'll... he's about to tell you about me, probably." her voice was soft and weak, two words never used to describe Nieva. Nico turned to look at her. She had tears in her eyes, though she was frowning hard. Nico pretended that she was just tearing up from the spice of the Phlegethon. "You have to promise me that you won't tell anyone. You have to swear to me."

"Of course not," Nico said automatically.

"If it turns out that you've been secretly turning yourself into a mini-Succubus, I'm telling everyone of your fucking hypocrisy. I'll print it in the fucking New York Times, Nieva. It's too much."

Nieva didn't respond, turning away. Reilly hissed and stood, turning away from her in a huff. Nico tried to allow her modesty as Nieva's face became streaked with tears.

"Of course I don't want to love him after all he's done," Nieva whispered, wiping her face angrily. "But how fair is love anyway? Do you think I fell in love with Josiah knowing what he was? I hate myself for loving him. It's not _fair._ " She dipped her hand in the Phlegethon and Nico flinched. Even though the river didn't burn the skin, it _felt_ like it was burning. Nico watched as her face contorted into a soundless scream, but still she held her hand to the wrist in the burning fire. Nico couldn't take it. He grabbed her arm and pulled her into a hug, closing his eyes.

"You don't need to punish yourself for this," Nico murmured as Nieva cried in his chest. "You had a good reason, I know it. You're Nieva, you're the queen of reason."

"I'm the daughter of mental illness, Nico. How is it that _I'm_ so mentally stable when every other one of my brothers and sisters are completely disconnected from reality? When my own father--" she broke off, pushing Nico away. She shook her head and clawed the tears from her cheeks.

"I don't need to explain things to you," she said, reclaiming the air of cool collectedness that she had fashioned into her trademark. "I'm sure that Josiah will do plenty of explanations for the both of us."

Nico suddenly felt a strong surge of empathy towards Nieva. He remembered the internal torture that he felt when Cupid had forced Nico to reveal his sexuality in front of Jason. He remembered how he would honestly rather be fighting for his life than for Lord Cupid to unearth the truth. It went beyond embarrassment. He had felt shame. Nico watched as Nieva avoided Josiah's eyes as he returned. Nico didn't want to know why Nieva loved Josiah, even if he was incredibly curious. He would keep Nieva's secret, even if it was incriminating. He would find a way to convince Reilly. After all, it wasn't their secret to tell.

"We're almost there," Josiah said, crouching down next to Nico. "How are you feeling?"

Nico snorted. "Like a million dollars. Why?"

"Well..." Josiah sat down next to him. "You're surprisingly the most unbiased out of the bunch. Reilly's irritated, Nieva's ashamed... and you..." Josiah shrugged. "You're just listening and absorbing everything. Unless you're incredibly good at hiding your true emotions."

Nico shook his head. "I figured that there was a person behind Succubus. There's kindness behind every demon, that's what I've come to learn. Titans, Giants, they didn't come into being as awful things. Succubus had to have a creation story. She sounds sad and scared, I admit, but it doesn't excuse her of anything she's done to me or men in the past."

Josiah nodded. "I wish I could've thought like you. I thought I was so right, and I was offended by anyone who considered me anything but right. Thank you."

"For what?"

"For being here to hear my story. You can tell it as it is, not through Nieva or Reilly's heavily biased eyes. I'm trying to make up for my crimes by ending them. This can't erase even a fraction of the damage we've caused together, but at least there's finally a rest."

Nico didn't react. He swallowed, though his throat was completely dry. His hands curled into tight fists as a realization dawned on him. He looked up quickly at Josiah and Josiah nodded.

"Yes. When you kill my sister and me, you will have to navigate your way back through Tartarus alone. I won't be able to be your guide any longer."

Nico's heart beat wildly in his chest and he tried to stifle his hyperventilating. He would have to find his way through Tartarus alone. Nico had taken for granted the safety that Josiah provided. When that was gone, Nico would have to prove himself as the leader of this quest and guide everyone back above land. If they made it above on time, maybe they would be able to prevent bloodshed.

_Though four will fall only two will rise,  
_ _to bloodshed morning and foreign skies._

Nico sighed. It seemed highly unlikely. Josiah stood up, a smile on his face.

"Come on campers, the field trip has only just begun! Let's get going!" Reilly was woken from a dazed half-sleep. Nieva shuffled dutifully behind Josiah, looking miserable and harried. Something about her eyes was a little off. Maybe Nieva used magic to hide a lazy eye... but it looked for a moment as though she was staring into a different dimension, and the dimension was filled with terror. She turned away from Nico's line of vision and held onto Josiah's hand.

"Now, where was I? Oh right. Rebirth."

* * *

**_Josiah's POV_ **

When we made it back up to the earth, everything seemed wonderful. Catherine was smiling again, laughing. I'd never seen her so excited and happy in my entire life. She ran a few tests on our bodies and discovered that nearly everything she had put in place was working perfectly. The only thing that didn't work the way she expected it was that our souls had broken through the diamond and were dissolved into our first bodies. Our own souls were our first meals as Incubus and Succubus. That was of little consequence to Catherine. She reasoned that it made us even more like the immortals. As they didn't have a dirty human soul, neither did we.

Bliss. It was bliss for the first couple decades. We split up couples. Catherine would lure the men away and coerce them to attack her, and I would show up as the night in shining armor to love the woman who had been beaten by the husband who betrayed her. Both man and woman would die in our arms. It was so easy. We had a method and we were doing what we loved. Catherine exacted revenge on the predatory male, and I offered women a deep, true love that they would pay for their souls. It was fantastic.

Of course this method became boring after a few years, but we continued doing it, skipping our way throughout the country. We did make it to India and Germany. We stole foreign souls and drank our fill of breathtaking scenery. We attempted to settle down and stay in one place for more than three years, but it never worked out. Sometimes we would be forced to leave because they would come after Catherine as a witch. More often, we got bored and decided to leave.

Eventually we drifted apart to different parts of the world, just milling around. If I didn't feel the stretch of years lying in front of me, I may have been anxious. Instead, it just felt like my sister was in a different room in the same house. She went off and chased more knowledge of magic, and I was left with everything that she found too heavy to carry with her. This included the stygian iron sword. The sword always made me anxious, especially since I knew the danger of which Hades warned Catherine. I didn't want anything to do with this sword. I left it in the possession of Minos. I never wanted to see the cold metal again if I could help it.

Hundreds of years would pass, and I would follow the tide to the New World. I stole women's souls, died a couple of times, gained fluency in several languages, and I met Matthaius, the son of Thanatos. For a few decades, I helped him gather underworld children into hiding. It was I who suggested that children of Eros and Cupid find shelter in his camp, how they face the brutality of the mortals. He agreed, I got him in touch with my father. We had a strong friendship for many years, though he disagreed with the way I viewed mortals as lesser beings. Don't be mistaken, we were never in a romantic relationship, though I had considered it several times over the two centuries that we were together. Once I controlled my Eros nature to bed everyone I found favorable, he became the best friend ever had. Unfortunately, there had to be an end. Eventually, we had an argument which ended in my dismissal. He claimed that he was afraid of how I would influence the children with the nature of my existence. I couldn't imagine how they would view me negatively. Matthaius has always been wiser than I am, even though I am older than him by three hundred years. He cut me out of his vocabulary entirely. I'm told that he says Lord Eros beckoned to him as the other underworld gods and goddesses did. I understand why he does this, and I'm not at all offended by it. Only in the most recent of decades has he made contact with me again, but not on my account.

After my dismissal, I briefly thought of finding my sister again and attempting teaming up with her, but something about me had changed. It was only until I ran into Demeter in the 1800s that I began to embrace the idea of independence. I had depended on someone my entire life, and I never saw the problem with that. Even when I was alone, I didn't live so much as I chased cheap pleasures. I was content to live off of my sister's exuberance and intelligence, without her, I roamed aimlessly with no desires or opinions of my own. Once I found Matthaius, I latched onto his brilliance and charisma, but I had none of my own. Demeter was wild and lush, opinionated and forceful. She thought I was weak for allowing myself to bend beneath my sister's will.

I remember the exact date when I realized that what I was doing was wrong. January 27th, 1929. Every opinion I had up until then had been tentative, subject to change. on the night of January 27th, in a hotel room in Rome, I realized with a disgusting pang that I was a monster, filled to the brim with corpses. On the night of January 27th, 1929, Maria di Angelo went into labor.

See, I'm not sure if it was incredible timing, or if my realization brought Nico's soul into being, but I know that we were intertwined through eventuality. I didn't know Nico at the time, I only realized the strange coincidence after the second Titan War and that sword came into action.

Regardless, the 1900s became a time of deep pain and self-hatred. I began sorting through my beliefs and came to the depressing conclusion that afterlife is a beautiful concept that I was robbed of. I finally read the philosophy that I had lived through and came to terms with my bestial nature. I wouldn't find my sister. I was terrified of her now. I heard stories. I knew how she had evolved. The souls of lonely women had softened me. The souls of greedy men had hardened her.

Everything sped up after my realization. I tried to starve myself of souls, but this only turned me into a monster desperate for any soul, and I would attack like a common _emposa_ at any innocent bystander. I was pathetic. At the turn of the century, I fed only when necessary and took to looking like a young boy. This was one of my greatest accidents, because this was how I met Nieva.

Nieva was already out of her father's home and in foster care when she came across me, sitting alone in a park. Pre-sexual children would approach me when I was a child, it was a relief. I was unable to affect them with my powers. Nieva was already hard as a six year old, and I saw my pain reflected in her eyes. It was selfish, it was damaging, but I continued to come by and see her. It was like having a friend again, but it was so simple and easy, I didn't have to worry about love or sex with her. All she wanted to do was swing higher than me or hide from her foster parents. I recognized her at once as a demigod, but I loved that I couldn't tell who her godly parent was. She told me everything about herself, and I listened, cherishing her beautiful story, her wonderful mortality. I envied her. I still do.

When she was ten, Matthaius and a director at the time came and told her about Camp Nyx. Matthaius recognized me at once and was furious. I told him how I had a change of heart and how I didn't want to steal or corrupt Nieva. I just wanted to befriend her. Matthaius still didn't trust me. What evidence did he have to?

Nieva went where I couldn't go, and I waited for her to return. When she did, she was very quiet about it. In the next few weeks, her foster brothers would begin showing symptoms for severe bipolar disorder, dyslexia, and narcolepsy. She ran away, convinced that she was disgusting. Everyone at camp treated her like a monster. I refused to see her hating herself like that, so I told her that Mania was the goddess of mental illness, not insanity, and she was just as strange as everyone else. The only difference was that they didn't take the time to understand Mania.

And then I did what I never did. I told her who I was. It was... cathartic. I remember crying, I remember crying like I had only witnessed small children cry. I told her that I was the monster. I told her that I was awful and murderous. I told her that I used the trust of women to kill them. I told her that I hated myself, and that I would honestly, truthfully, be better off dead. I don't know what possessed me to spill my secret. I just wanted her to realize that she was not a monster. You can't be born evil. Your evil is in your choices. A miracle happened that night. Because instead of running away like she should've, she hugged me. She accepted me. She saw my regret and she _forgave_ me for my awful deeds. Nieva Gonzales was better to me than I deserved, and she acted as though that was natural. She's a superhero.

Once I calmed down, however, she told me about the existence of Cult of Succubus. She told me that there we people out there striving to make the same mistake that I did. They knew about my notebook. They knew that Catherine was initially a demigod, a daughter of Eros. They didn't know about me at all. I'll admit that I was kind of offended, but once the initial feeling wore off, it was kind of obvious. Succubus was infamous, she was dastardly and righteous. Incubus was a theory, most likely a mistaken incarnation of Succubus. I didn't have the personality to be popular, anyway.

Next summer, I traveled with Nieva to Camp Nyx to see the cult in person. Nieva had told her parents that she was staying at a special school for mathematics and science. I came up with the leaflet. They were easily convinced and let her leave without a half-glance back. Matthaius didn't think that my presence so close to the Cult was a good idea. It was Nieva who convinced him to allow me to observe them. They were _good._ A few of them had just the same manic spark that my sister had. Their experiments were tame, though. They tortured, yes, they discarded souls, certainly, but they didn't disembowel or skin. It wasn't as awful as I had expected, but they were missing a crucial item: a stygian iron blade.

Upon realizing this I found my way as quickly as I could to the Underworld and waited in Minos's shadows. I hadn't anticipated copycats trying to use the sword for their own destruction. That's when I saw Nico di Angelo for the first time in my life. He was angry, sad, but he wasn't the same kind of angry and sad that I had just left. He was scared, determined, and young. God, he was so young to feel so defeated. As I watched Minos manipulating this young boy, a realization washed over me. I knew it before he even grabbed the hilt of the sword. I saw Nico, young and confused, and I knew that he was going to kill me one day. There was kindness in his heart, and I felt a calm that I had missed. He and Minos disappeared from the area and a semblance of a plan began forming in my head. The existence of Nico di Angelo, the true master of the stygian iron blade, cleared my head. The future looked like a string of inevitable events.

When I returned to Camp Nyx and to Nieva, she could sense my mental calm, and I told her with ease that I was going to die. She was furious with me. After that, all I had to do was edit my notebook for my own purposes, and I knew that things would fall into place. The future unfurled easily. Nico's mastery of the sword brought me calm. The friendship Nieva offered me was another blessing. All I had to do to usher the end was repeat a few lines said to me a few centuries ago in the dream of the boy who was destined to save me. And here we are. At the end.


	16. Chapter 16

Nico hadn't even registered the fact that the end of the story would mean that his legs should stop moving. He walked straight into Nieva's back and Reilly rammed into him as well. Not entirely elegant, but Nico had been so engrossed in the story that his surroundings disappeared. He heard his name, but he didn't really connect that sound to his consciousness until he saw the pulsing blister before him. So when sensation returned it returned with a vengeance. Reality hit him like a speeding train. Nico's internal organs dropped to an area around his knees. He was staring at her. _Her._ Succubus. Not just the string of letters that made Nico cringe, not just a morbid medieval fairytale. The being that had once been Catherine curled in her embryonic fluids, looking more beautiful than was fair. She seemed to be far along in her development, her arms and legs were fully developed, her hair floated like blood around her shoulders. Reilly voiced his thoughts.

"It's probably because so many people have been feeling high emotions towards her and saying her name more than usual. Names have power, you know."

"I know," Nico said, surprised that his voice even worked. He took a step towards the blister that was about waist high. He opened a hand and pressed his palm to the warm, throbbing membrane.

And then Reilly was there, holding his hand. Nico turned to look at Reilly, and saw a boy that he barely recognized. His eyes were dull, his hair was frizzy and back in a ponytail. his golden skin was pale, his lips were white and cracked, but he smiled with them regardless.

"Reilly," Nico breathed. "We-- We should've stopped to get you more fire--"

"No, no..." Reilly said, his voice hoarse. "I'm fine, probably. I look awful, but that's just because I usually use magic to keep up appearances. I guess that I look normal plus Tartarus, so I look awful." Reilly chuckled, but the laughter turned into a fit of coughs. Nieva handed Reilly a small water bottle and Nico's mouth filled with saliva instantly. How the hell could she have stashed that away without drinking it like an animal? Reilly took it, if only to see if it was real. Reilly looked at the bottle with an extreme sense of self-control. He slipped it in his bag and kissed Nieva on the cheek.

She looked even worse than Reilly, if at all possible. It was hard to tell directly, but something about Nieva was distressed in a way that must travel deep into her soul. Her eyes were out of focus, her braids were frayed as though she had been playing with them nervously. The edges of her eyes were crusted with salt from her tears, but she didn't bother to wipe them clean.

"I'm sorry, Reilly, for how harshly I judged you, even after you repented." Her voice was soft, distant. It sounded as though Nieva's voice had traveled in on a confused breeze. Nico was terrified. He was losing Nieva. Reilly looked at Nieva sadly.

"You loved him. I shouldn't have said what I said back there. I was scared. I was angry. I'm sorry, Nieva."

"Why is this all sounding so permanent?" Nico bit angrily. He was terrified with the way they were speaking, as though they were prepared to die. Reilly shrugged his shoulder and dropped Nico's hand. Nieva's laugh was flat, a hot wind curling in from her shriveled lungs.

"Are you ready, Nico?" Josiah's voice cut through the sulfurous air. Nico felt a shock of panic like lighting before Nieva siphoned it out through her. He had never really wondered how Nieva had the ability to calm someone, but Nico got the sneaking suspicion that she stored it within herself. If this was true, then one trauma would be the sledgehammer that brings down the dam. Maybe that was why Nieva was so collected. Maybe she had to be.

"Nieva," Nico turned to her desperately. "Please tell me that you're going to be alright. Please--"

Nieva nodded. "There are more important things happening right now."

"Everything is important all the time," Nico said, desperately. "Let me know that you'll be alright--"

"She will be alright, Nico." Josiah's voice was deep, trustworthy. He held no magic in it, which was an added comfort. Nico nodded. Succubus. Right. Nieva and Reilly stepped back apprehensively. With a jolt of realization, Nico came to fully understand what he was about to do. He was so concerned with the wellbeing of his friends that he hadn't grasped the enormity of his situation. Succubus. Succubus was sitting before him. She had stolen life and time from Nico, terrified and abused him and his friends. She had been simmered down into a word at Camp Nyx, and even through this story, she had seemed more like a placeholder, a myth just beyond arms' reach. Nico clenched his jaw and slashed his arm out before he could work himself into a panic, and the membrane split open at its base.

Succubus fell out along with all of the pus and blood-like substance that she was swimming in. The plasma was acidic, it began melting the soles of Nico's shoes. Nico hopped back, his sword still raised in caution. Succubus stirred feebly and made to sit up. Her eyes fluttered open and connected with Nico's.

And then all was silent in Nico's brain.

Nico felt his sword slip from his hand. He could barely register making the decision to trudge forward through the burning muck. To Succubus, get to Succubus, God, after all this time....

"No, Nico..." Succubus said, tearing her eyes away. Nico felt the magic disappear all at once and the intense burning sensation on his calves came into sharp focus. Nico limped away from the liquid and shook. No, not again. Not again. No, no no _no--_

"Nico, calm down," Nieva whispered in his head. A lovely memory of Jason smiling on his bed appeared in Nico's mind and it calmed him, if only for a moment. He was able to look at Succubus now, pale-skinned and damp-haired. He tried to swallow the lump in his throat but it pressed against his esophagus with no relief.

"S-Succubus," Nico gasped, trying to gather his wits about him. "I... I am here to... t-to--"

"Shh, Nico," Succubus said, dragging herself pathetically across to lean against the empty and sagging blister. "I know. I know, sweetheart."

Nico was trembling so badly he didn't know if he could continue speaking. He leaned against a dead tree for support. She was weak, she was still beautiful, but she was here. And Nico _loved her._

"I know that you're here to kill me, Nico." she rasped. "Just like I knew that my brother would be the one to bring you."

"Forgive me, Catherine," Josiah whispered.

"I've already forgiven you, Josiah. After the second failure, knew I couldn't stop it." Succubus's cough was wet and ragged. "You see, Nico... I'd gotten too cocky. Seeing you down here in Tartarus that first time... seeing that sword... I thought it was my chance. And you were so weak, I thought that it could be easy to stop you a second time. But it wasn't. And I failed. I've been thinking about you and Josiah, and Jason, and I knew that it couldn't--"

Adrenaline surged through Nico and he found himself on his feet, regardless of the pain. He pointed his sword at Succubus, inching in closer to have it pressed against her throat.

"Don't you _dare_ say his name," He hissed. "I ought to kill you for that alone."

Succubus's eyes were closed. Up close, he realized that she looked old, withered and leathery. She shook her head with great difficulty.

"Don't kill me out of revenge, Nico. Kill me to save future men. Kill me out of pity. Kill me with a clean heart, Nico. Don't kill me with hatred."

"But I do hate you," Nico cried, holding the sword with both hands. It was heavy, so heavy in his hands. "I hate you for everything you've done to me! You've ruined me! You hurt me, and you kept coming back to hurt every part of me! You're still-- You're still hurting me now! It's not--! It's not fair...." Nico clenched his teeth through the tears.

"I know it's not fair. I've been sitting through this regeneration period thinking about my brother's betrayal. I was angry, you know. At you. At him." She laughed, but it turned into a train of coughs.

Josiah walked out in front of Nico and knelt down in the sludge to hold Succubus's hands.

"We have to stop this, Catherine. We've been going on too long."

Catherine's wrinkled eyes dripped bloody tears and her face scrunched up like a toddler's.

"I know that this is true," she whispered. Her breath was so soft that Nico almost missed it. "Am I a coward if I admit that I'm still afraid?"

Josiah wrapped his arms around Succubus's neck. Nico realized that the exposure to the Tartarus air was drying her out and would send her through another regeneration cycle soon enough, and then they'd have to find _that_ blister. He had to do it soon. Nico looked at Succubus's withering form and felt every single ounce of love turn to hatred in his body. He tried to let that go, but it was too difficult. He couldn't forgive what she'd done to Jason. He couldn't forgive what she'd done to Percy. He could never forgive what she'd done to his life.

Josiah kissed her on the forehead and backed up.

"I'll be right behind you, alright?"

She nodded, her eyes just as beautiful as they always were, glistening with tears like stained glass in the rain. Nico knew that it was his cue to do the deed, but he didn't know if he could. Succubus was a monster, yes. But she was also a person beneath that. She was scared of death, just as every human being on the planet. He looked down at her and she caught his gaze once more. An emotion rushed through Nico's body, but it wasn't desire as he'd expected. It was a surge of acceptance. No, he would never forgive Succubus for the damage she'd caused. She wasn't just a monster running on instinct, she had chosen this path and she would pay for it in her death. He would never forgive her, but he saw now that she would never forgive herself either. Not anymore. She realized just how much she had strayed from her motives by attacking a boy, not a man. She realized that she had become exactly what she had sought to destroy. A true monster: a rapist. Nico's only response would be to show her mercy by killing her instead of forcing her to live eternity on her own self-hatred.

"I'm sorry," she whispered, tears falling over her cheeks. "I'm so sorry,"

Nico positioned the blade over her heart, both hands holding it steady. "I know." A heave and a crunch, and Succubus shuddered one last time before the lights in her church window eyes flickered and faded into nothing more.

Josiah doubled over and began drawing ragged and strained breaths. His eyes were wide and terrified, his lip trembling.

"Josiah!" Nieva fell beside him.

"I'm fine," he said, his voice was surprisingly stable. Nico stared at him, his arms weak. He just killed Succubus. He killed her. Nico was trying to convince himself that was what had happened, but he couldn't connect that physical movement with the end of the demoness known as Succubus. Josiah stood shakily and made his way past Nico, as though he needed to reach his sister's corpse at any cost. Nico's instinct was to stop him from possibly eating the body, but Josiah didn't have that intention. He dipped a pen into the black sludge leaking from her body and began scribbling in the poorly bound book that held their secrets. Once he was finished, his quick motions slowed and he took a deep breath in. He folded the book closed and handed it to Reilly.

"Okay," Josiah said, standing before Nico, smiling calmly. "My turn."

"No!" Nieva burst forth. The sound exploded from her, as though she was holding it in. "Josiah, you can't go, you can't go without me." Words dribbled from her in a rush.

Josiah smiled understandably. He stepped towards her, cupped her cheek, and kissed her forehead. "Nieva, you don't know what you're asking for."

"I don't care!" she begged. Reilly stepped back from her, scared. "Take my soul, please take my soul, it's all I've ever wanted."

Reilly shouted in alarm. Nico's gave a start and looked at Josiah. Had he been infecting Nieva this whole time? This didn't sound like her, but at the same time, something about it seemed to make sense. She hugged Josiah around the middle and Josiah brushed her hair back with his fingers.

"I'm sorry you met me, Nieva."

"Don't say that," she whispered. "Please don't say that. You're the best thing that's ever happened to me. I love you so much."

"Nieva," Reilly said, stepping forward tentatively. "Listen to reason. You really can't comprehend what you're asking for."

Nieva closed her eyes and pressed her face into Josiah's chest. "I've wanted this for a while, Reilly, I know what I'm asking for. I want to be a part of him. I want to be with Josiah forever."

Nico was still to dumbstruck to say anything. He absorbed the interaction without really feeling anything. His body was still shaking over the lack of Succubus, as though he was going through withdrawal from a very potent drug.

Josiah combed her hair back. "Everything will be alright, Nieva."

"Please," she whispered. She grasped onto Josiah's shirt, anchoring herself there. "Please Josiah."

"Don't you do it, Incubus!" Reilly bellowed. "I'll make sure you don't go out as easily as your sister!"

Nieva whipped around. "Stop it, Reilly!" Nieva demanded. "You don't understand! It's either this or... with-without him, I'll...." She buried her face into his stomach again. "I don't want to be like that. Please Josiah."

"Don't you fucking dare!" Reilly bellowed, forming a sword out of darkness the same way that Damien did. It swirled and absorbed the surrounding light, making the area dim.

Josiah's eyebrows rose. "Beautiful," Josiah said. "Then you _are_ the most powerful demigod." Josiah smiled softly. "I imagined that's what Body meant."

"Don't change the subject," he spat. "Give Nieva up."

"Don't," she whispered. "You know what I'll be. I'll just-- I'll be a burden on them! I won't be able to help them. It's best if you just... It'll be the best."

"Using logic after all, snowflake?" Josiah laughed. He stroked her head. "You seem alright to me."

"No!" She screamed, an unearthly sound. Nico flinched and backed up, stepping into the liquefying form of Succubus. "I'll--! I'll choke myself! I'll throw myself into the Phlegethon! I...! I'll...!"

"That's not any better, your soul won't be able to escape Tartarus." Josiah said, stroking her hair therapeutically. "You know, I was always afraid of falling in love, for the fear that I would outlive my lover." He tightened his grip in hugging her. "I'm sorry it has to go this way, my dear." He took her face in both of his hands, staring deeply into her eyes. He kissed her fully, deeply. Her body fell limp at his touch. Backing out of the kiss he kissed her nose. "I'll take you," he whispered.

Unfortunately, it was loud enough for Reilly to hear. Reilly charged forward with his sword of darkness, but with a lifted hand, Josiah set up a shield. Reilly's sword disappeared on impact, but his face didn't change its determination. He held his hand out and summoned the static electricity in the air, aimed it at the shield and it shattered to pieces. Reilly burst forth and Josiah held Nieva behind him, both of his hands raised in protection of himself.

"Don't make me hurt you, Hinton, I respect you too much for that."

"I don't want your respect," Reilly growled. "I want your head. How dare you draw us down here and take one of us for your own. How dare you give us that sob story of regret when your actions haven't changed!" Reilly's hands glowed bright pink, and he shot into the air, floating just out of Josiah's reach. He aimed a hand at Josiah, but Josiah flicked him away, not without tripping backwards and receiving some damage. Reilly was attacking Josiah mentally, and Josiah was too slow to deflect them.

"I'll go above and tell them how we attacked and defeated you both! You'll _always_ be a monster! The story that you told us will die down here, just like _you_!" Reilly shot darkness towards Josiah, and Josiah curled and twitched momentarily in pain, Nieva screaming incoherently for Reilly to stop.

"Enough!" Josiah said, throwing his arm into the dark funnel, freezing it and bringing Reilly down to the ground. Reilly grunted and attempted to get up, but he was held down by Josiah's skill. Josiah turned to Nieva and took her face in both of his hands. Her face was serene, unfocused.

"Nieva, no! Please, realize what you're doing!" Reilly's voice was hoarse.

"I know exactly what I'm doing, Reilly," she murmured. Reilly slammed the ground with his fist.

"Dammit, what's wrong with you, Nieva! Are you crazy?" He demanded. Nieva's eyes focused for a moment and she turned to Reilly and nodded, smiling.

"Yeah. Half, actually."

Reilly hesitated, unable to respond at all. He was defeated. Nieva turned his head towards Josiah and a bright light filled Nieva's face. Nico watched on in a helpless stupor, unable to comprehend what was happening before him. The light became so bright it nearly overwhelmed his senses completely.

Then it stopped. Nieva's body crumpled to a heap on the ground, even though Nico was shocked, he could tell the difference between life and death. Nieva was dead, Nico stared at her corspe indifferently. He knew that it would hit him eventually, and it would hit him hard. But now all he could feel was the numbness.

"You murderer! You serial killer!" Reilly spat, his scream desperate. He struggled against Josiah's bonds, but couldn't break free. Josiah held a star in front of him, swirling, pulsing, beautiful. Nieva. He lifted the rose quartz from her neck and fused the star that was Nieva's soul inside. Reilly had stopped screaming and just watched. Josiah walked towards Nico, the crystal held delicately in his hand, offering it to Nico. The snow in his dream. Josiah knew that this would happen. Nico accepted it, staring at what had become Nieva.

"She was filled with such purpose." Josiah whispered. "When she realized that I was her mania... she ignored it until she wasn't able to anymore. If she was with me romantically, it would tip her scale. If I was to die, she would dive into madness." Nico closed his fingers on the surprisingly chilly crystal, afraid that it would shatter and let Nieva's soul scatter. "The only option she saw was death. She wanted to die how she lived, sane. When you see her spirit again, tell her that my gift to her was her afterlife. Please tell her that for me, Nico di Angelo."

Nico looked up into the eternal eyes of Incubus and nodded. Emotion was coming back to him in fragmented pieces. Maybe it was Nieva's soul affecting him. Maybe he had gotten over the shock of killing Succubus. Maybe the threat of Josiah's death and Nico's aloneness in Tartarus was looming. Whatever the cause, panic began to build up in Nico's mind, his heart racing and his palms sweating with the hilt of the sword.

"Thank you, Nico." Josiah said, resting his hand on Nico's closed fist. "Thank you for being so brave."

Nico's breath grew ragged as he raised the sword with one hand and pocketed the crystal carefully. He steadied his sword with both hands. Nico rested the sword on Josiah's shoulder, swallowed briefly, and then blacked out as his body took over.

A dull thud and the sound of a heavy and dense object rolling around and hitting the deflated, pus-leaking blister. And then silence.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I have the other OCs posted on my blog. You can go look at them at http://probablyanime.tumblr.com/tagged/camp+nyx if you like! Honestly, thank you for reading my story. I never really expected people to read too much into it because of how extensive it is. It's also not a highly romantic AU, and most fanfictions are. But thank you for reading it, even if it's not the first kind of fanfiction one usually looks for. Let me know what you think! Tartarus awaits the two, and they have the key to stopping the battle that may or may not have already begun!


	17. Chapter 17

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> SORRY. HAVE A FEW ON ME, LOVES.

Nico barely registered Reilly's hand on his shoulder. He felt as though he was in someone else's body as his feet walked across the gray ground. His eyes caught Nieva's serene, lifeless face. Her eyes were still open. Glossy. Like a thousand other corpses he'd seen. He didn't want to leave her body here... but what other choice did they have? Succubus's corpse no longer took human shape. It was mush with a half-decomposed torso, a few fingernails floated in a blackened goo. Josiah was bloody, as though he was simply human. Nico didn't even want to see where the head rolled off to. Reilly bent down and slid the notebook out of Josiah's pocket. He flipped through it, frowning. He turned to Nico as though to say something. Reilly's eyes quickly scanned Nico's face and his mouth clamped shut. Nico could laugh. Did he really look that awful?

"We need to get out of here," Reilly said lowly. "This kind of massacre will only attract monsters."

Nico nodded. Reilly started slowly down the river and Nico wiped his sword off thoughtlessly before following him.

He couldn't believe it. He couldn't believe what he'd just done. It happened in an instant, a train of moments that flew past him in a hazy blur. He killed them. _He killed them._ Reilly was frowning angrily and thumbed through the book without really reading the words written on it. Wake up, Nico thought. Gods, wake the fuck up. His head was empty as a bell, a hard ball of logic ringing on the inside of his skull.

Wake up, Nico.

Wake _up._

 _But I killed them,_ He thought, terrified. _I knew them... I pitied them... and I killed them._

You're in Tartarus. Logic demanded. You need to pay attention or you will die. Come out of this shock, Nico you will _die_ if you don't.

Could he do it though? Could he reconnect with reality, knowing that he was a murderer? It was true that Incubus and Succubus were monsters, but they were people first. God, come on. Come on, Nico. He knew that coming back to reality may incapacitate him with terror, he was incapacitated now, an emotionless doll unable to even pay attention to his surroundings. He had to try. Even if he would be scared, he needed his emotions to return. He was used to this sort of apathy. When he was eleven, he was overcome by his apathy towards anything and everything after Bianca told him that grudges are poison. It was his first defense mechanism. He had to fight through it. He had to get himself to fight through it. Ask Reilly why he's frowning. Engage, or lose yourself.

"What's wrong?" Nico asked, his voice automatic and dead as he expected it to be. Reilly looked up at Nico and pursed his lips.

"Nieva," he mumbled. Nico's pocket felt heavy and very full. _Nieva. Nieva is dead. Nieva's soul is in your pocket._ "She's completely different than what I thought... yet she's exactly the same Nieva. Does that make any sense?"

"Probably," Nico said, dipping his hand into his pocket and grasping the cool crystal. "She just... had her secrets, I guess."

"I just wish I wasn't so hard on her," Reilly said. Nico felt a spark of amusement and grabbed onto that.

"No you don't," he said, almost smiling. "She was awful to you and Lysander, there was only one response understandable."

"Yeah, but she had a reason."

"And I bet you had your reason for joining the Cult. Everything has a reason. There's misunderstanding in every confrontation. At least you two came to understand where you didn't see eye to eye."

Reilly didn't respond, walking on alongside the River. Nico looked back. They had somehow walked about two miles away from Succubus's blister. He saw a few monsters milling around the corpses. Nico hoped that he didn't smell like death. He looked down and saw Josiah's blood on his shirt and pants. He closed his eyes and sighed. Of course, yeah.

"Should we camouflage ourselves?" Nico asked, looking around anxiously. He was starting to feel concerned for his safety. Good. The panic was right around the corner, but maybe they could make it out of the pit before it shot him in the back of the head. Maybe he'd even be in Jason's arms by the time the true panic settled in.

"I thought about calling up Death Mist, but I'm afraid that I'll take a life essence from that crystal. What is it, anyway? I can tell it's life, but it... it can't be--"

"It's Nieva." Nico said, pulling it from his pocket and looking at the pale pink of the crystal reflecting in Reilly's concerned eyes. "Josiah put her soul in here. I mean... I'm used to controlling ghosts which are the reflections of souls, not the actual thing itself. It's like... It's like holding an atom bomb in a thin glass case. It feels volatile."

"Is she... would she be able to be alive again? Like if we made a robot body for her--"

Nico shook his head, smiling at him now. That sounded like something Leo would say.

"She has Thanatos's kiss. She's dead, Reilly, there's nothing left for her but the underworld. That is, if we can get her out of here."

Reilly nodded, reaching out to touch the crystal gingerly. He pulled his hand back as though he was electrocuted, his eyes widened.

"Dammit, Nieva, even as a fucking crystal or whatever?" Reilly shook his hand angrily, sucking on the burnt finger. Nico laughed.

"It wasn't her, you're just not able to control souls. In this form, she's not really Nieva. She's just a spark of existence. In the underworld, she becomes Nieva again." Nico wasn't really entirely sure how he knew what he knew, but it came to him as readily as though it was common knowledge. Nico knew beyond doubt that it was true. Reilly sucked on his finger thoughtfully.

"But... I have held... souls before..." he didn't look Nico in the eye when he said this. A half-second of confusion before Nico understood what Reilly was saying. From his days in the Cult.

"Well... the souls you held were probably immediate. You probably did tests right away before they exploded or deflated or whatever souls do. This soul is unharmed and full, and it's meant to be free by now. So it's fighting against its casing to break free and find its way to the Underworld. It's not meant to be held in a casing for so long, even one as complicated and intricate as this one."

Reilly nodded and stared ahead. He probably didn't hear anything Nico just said, but Nico was alright with it. Reilly's silence wasn't good though, it was forcing Nico to evaluate what he had just done. As they continued walking deeper and deeper along the winding river Phlegethon, his apathy was draining quickly to obsessive repetition. His mind kept flashing Succubus's face, wrinkled and old, Josiah's half-smile, young and full, Nieva's wild eyes, far though determined. Gods. What had he just done?

"Reilly," Nico grabbed Reilly's shoulder for a moment, afraid that gravity would upend itself. "D-distract me, please distract me."

Reilly looked around the area before pulling Nico to a nearby cluster of rocks, just beyond the banks of the Phlegethon. They stood and faced each other.

"How?" Reilly asked, tucking the book in a pocket of his bag and placing both hands on Nico's face. "Nico, are you about to panic?"

Nico blessed Reilly for his sincerity and ability to help him cope, but the hands were making him feel claustrophobic rather than focused. He swatted them away and turned around in a circle, fidgeting. A thought just struck Nico, a stupid, obvious question that he should've voiced hours ago.

"Where... where are we going?"

Reilly smirked, his smirk widening to become a full grin. He clapped Nico's shoulder.

"Your attention to detail is astounding, my pupil."

Nico shook his head. "Seriously, we've been walking quietly for a long time, where are we going?"

"To the Mansion of Night. If all these rivers run to the heart of Tartarus and the Mansion of Night is right before the Heart of Tartarus, then I'm sure that the more we walk on, the easier it will be to find this damn house of horrors."

"I don't want to go back there either," Nico moaned. The last time he was in Night's presence, he was hallucinating a second version of himself, or there was a monster that was the second version of himself, he was never entirely sure of what happened. That alone was just reason to be frightened. Not only that, but the Lord of Darkness himself only spared Nico out of pity, and it would be rare form for a god to show pity twice.

"Unless you've got a better plan," Reilly huffed. "Then it's off to the horrifying Mansion of Awful Scary Boogie Monsters we go. I honestly can't say that I'm all that excited to go there either." Reilly turned and began walking back down the river. Nico panicked at the silence and chased him down.

"You... you said above that you had a crush on someone? What was that about?" he couldn't let the silence take over him. He had to keep talking, keep talking to keep the true panic at bay.

Reilly smirked and retied his hair behind his head. He snorted, but he seemed distracted. Nico was just starting to get his bearing on where he was in reality, and reality was telling Nico that something about Reilly was a little off. Being numb was dangerous... had he let Reilly fall through the cracks in the meantime?

"I lied to protect your boyfriend's dignity. I don't really have a crush on anyone. And what's this pension for gossip all of the sudden? Are you and Seraphim teaming up?"

"N-No. I just... I need to talk about something. I thought that if I can just... just talk about something until I get my head straight--"

"Well what if your head never gets on straight then?" Reilly said, stopping. "What if you're stuck like this and I'm fit to drag you helplessly through battles with monsters? I need you here. Nieva is fucking gone. Nieva. Nieva is fucking _gone_ and you're off in some wonderland leaving me here alone." Reilly's change of demeanor was drastic and immediate, it was like a slap in the face. He couldn't lean on Reilly, like he had hoped. He had to rely on himself.

Nico tried to pull himself together and face Reilly. "I know that. I know what I just did, Reilly, I know what happened--"

"No, evidently you _don't._ I'm trying to keep it together and you've already let your head fall to shit. I'm not trying to fuck around here, Nico. We need to get above." Reilly shook his head. "My sister... my sister is above. She's probably fighting right now... she's..." Reilly swallowed. "I'm losing my mind, Nico. I've been trying to hold it in. I've been trying to keep it together, but I can't, I just--"

Nico stared at Reilly. He was blathering, frayed at the edges, scared. Reilly, the immovable rock, was crumbling before him.

"I... while we were walking. While Josiah was telling us his story, I had a vision. I... I saw my sister, injured. I saw that the battle had already begun and that she had been stabbed." Reilly's voice cracked, his back to Nico. "And I'm down here... I'm in hell, but hell is above too-- I don't know what to _do_. This fucking place is scrambling my mind and I don't know what to do Nico, I don't know what to do. If Nieva... if Nieva could die like that, like... so pathetically... anyone could die. Anyone."

Nico swallowed a dry lump in his throat and fell silent. He forced his way through his fading mental haze and came to see Reilly's terror. He was inexperienced with the real world, though he was incredibly powerful. Nico wasn't as powerful as Nieva, and the loss of her power really sent a blow to him, probably. Nico reached a hand out to rest on Reilly's shoulder. Reilly leaned into the touch as though it was the only familiar thing in the world.

"We'll get above." Nico said firmly. "I promise."

"What's your promise worth? You're just as incapable as I am." Reilly sighed shakily. "I'm such a fucking weakling, aren't I?" Reilly laughed, wiping his nose. "The second someone shows me that my sister is hurt, I'm a wreck."

"You're not weak, you're human."

Reilly laughed humorlessly. "Don't give me that bullshit."

Nico chuckled. "Too late." Nico walked around to face Reilly. "I know that we're in an awful situation right now, but... We'll do as much as we can to get above. I mean, she's probably even more worried about you, you know? You're in fucking Tartarus, I bet she'd laugh at you worrying about her."

Reilly didn't smile and looked away. "The last thing I said to her was that she was like our mother." He whispered. "That's the last thing I ever said to her, and it may be the last words I ever say to her."

"Don't think like that," Nico said firmly. "You'll see her again, Reilly. You can't be hung up on this, you really can't."

"But--"

"Look, if I was pining about Jason right now, you'd slap me in the face and tell me to pay attention to the problem at hand."

Reilly glared at Nico, Nico almost wavered under the piercing gaze.

"Don't compare the two relationships. Jason's just a boyfriend to you. My sister is my everything."

Nico bowed his head in understanding, but pressed on anyway.

"Regardless, there's nothing we can do to help either of them. The only thing we can do..." Nico took a deep, ragged breath. "The only thing we can do is continue on. That's it. If we get worked up, then we'll die down here. Nieva... Nieva will--"

"Don't talk about her," Reilly hissed. Nico stopped walking and clenched his fists. Reilly turned and glared. "Don't say her name. It's your fault that--"

"Okay, look." Nico said, finally tired of stepping lightly around Reilly's emotions. This dance was exhausting and Nico was done with it. He'd lived his life allowing himself to bend to whatever shape pressed into him. It was how he survived. But if they kept arguing like this, if he allowed Reilly to chew him to mush, Neither of them would survive the harsh terrain. Reilly wasn't in the right frame of mind to call any shots. So that meant that Nico was up to bat.

"We're going to stop every 300 steps and drink Phlegethon. We're going to follow this river towards the Mansion of Night like you said. You're going to shut the hell up and be bitter and anxious in silence because your whining is like sandpaper on my soul. I need concentration to keep Nieva's soul caged. I don't mind if you tell me things, but you can't be scathing, sarcastic, or cryptic about it."

Reilly's face was scrunched into a snarl that showed he took obvious offense.

"What the hell do you think--"

"No, shut up, I'm not done yet." Nico said, forcing Reilly's mouth shut with magic. Reilly seemed to be too shocked to undo the magic. "You're not the only one at stake here. Your high emotions won't fare well here in Tartarus. Luckily we have my apathy. Now turn on heel, walk, and continue on until I say stop."

Reilly unraveled the silencing magic but didn't say anything to Nico. His scowl was still etched deeply on his face but he seemed more introspective. Nico didn't have time to wonder what Reilly was thinking, and he didn't even know if he cared all that much.

"Forward march," Nico said. Reilly glanced at him once more, then turned and walked silently forward. Even his footsteps didn't crunch as much as they used to... but that could also be that Nico's footsteps were more solid, walking with a purpose. They had to get that book above to stop the battle that had already begun. Whatever the Books of Rebirth would do, it was necessary to the survival of everyone he considered family. Nico began counting his steps as they wound their way down the Phlegethon.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'M SORRY.  
> Let me bore you a second with tales of my personal life. I ran out of money early this month so I began skipping meals to pay for gas. So I was distracted and hungry and didn't exactly have the best head on my shoulders. I'm sorry for the delay, I am really, really sorry. I'm back on track now, well fed (for the most part) and I'm on my way to completing this story. Again, I'm so, so sorry!


	18. Chapter 18

_Nieva's POV, Summer 2010_

"Shut up," Nieva said, kicking the boy under her. He kicked her back, and this was a call for all-out war. They were sitting in Nieva's foster parents' home watching TV on the couch in the living room. She was barefoot in her Sunday dress. Josiah was in his good slacks, though his shirt was unbuttoned to reveal the little undershirt beneath. They were about eleven. Nieva wrestled him down to the couch, clasping his hands roughly.

Josiah laughed. "Come on, Gonzales, is that all you've got? Is that it?"

"You're at _my_ mercy, if you can't tell!" she taunted. Josiah slipped beneath her open arm and got her in a headlock, pulling her down to the floor. She grunted in pain, Josiah bumped an old wrestling bruise, but she didn't let the weakness show for too long.

"Just give up, snowflake!" He sang. "I'm always going to--"

Nieva lifted her legs above her head and clamped his head between her thighs. She slipped right through his loosened headlock and flipped him over to his back, securing his arms down. He exclaimed in shock.

"Ha!" she panted as he squirmed. "That's you beat, Addams!"

"You totally played dirty! You made that chokehold an easy get!"

"Yeah, I didn't know you'd be dumb enough to fall for it," Nieva said, struggling to keep him bound. "Call Uncle and I'll let you go."

"Never!"

"You _are_ as dumb as you look then," Nieva snorted. "I've got all the time in the world, just a simple two syllable word--"

Josiah broke free of the grasp, taking Nieva very much by surprise. She realized angrily that he had taken advantage of her clammy hands. Quickly, with a flip and a pound, she was pinned beneath him. Her hands were clenched to her sides, his grip was vice like. There was no struggling out of this one. Josiah's eyes were alight with laughter and success.

And then something odd happened.

All at once Nieva's mind fell silent. Josiah was laughing above her and a realization warmed her chest. He was beautiful, and not in the way that people on TV were. Josiah was beautiful in that way that the songs sang about, and a little something else. Every point of contact seemed to sizzle. Josiah, with his presence, his sarcasm... his way of staring into the sky like he was considering jumping into it. Nieva felt this all change when she stared up into his face, flushed with triumph. Before she knew what she was doing, she leaned up and kissed him on the lips. It was quick, trivial, a nervous peck of an eleven year old girl.

A long ring of silence before Josiah released his grip and stared at Nieva, frowning intensely. Nieva covered her mouth with her hand quickly, straightening her face, trying to hide the inevitable blush. What the heck did she do that for? It was stupid! Stupid, Nieva! Why would you do that? Now he's horrified by you! That's not why boys hang out with girls!

Even as embarrassment choked her, Nieva wasn't going to pretend that it didn't happen. Somehow by the tender age of eleven, she knew how important her dignity was. It was only her dignity that forced her mouth to open and words to drop out.

"I'm sorry that I did that," she said, forcing her voice to be strong and hearing it crack anyway. "I just got caught up in the moment, probably."

Josiah didn't take his eyes off of her. It made her so uncomfortable. It was as though he was scanning her with his eyes.

"Nieva, how do you feel about me?" He asked carefully. He sounded older all of the sudden. His question made her blush, but she tried to ignore the heat on her cheeks.

"You--You're my friend, Josiah, I really--"

"No, Nieva...." Josiah finally, blessedly, turned his face away. "Do you want to be more than friends?"

Nieva didn't know how to respond. She never thought about it until just now. She knew that she didn't want to be without Josiah. He was the only person that she had trusted with her heart. She honestly didn't know if she would be able to trust anyone else. She shrugged her shoulders.

"I don't really have a standard for what friends and more than friends are so..."

Josiah shook his head and stood up, buttoning his shirt, avoiding Nieva's eyes. Nieva didn't stand to walk him out.

"I have to go," he said unnecessarily. "I'm sorry, Nieva, I have some things I need to think over." Nieva nodded once and let him slip on his fancy shoes. He closed the door behind him. The room filled with his absence. Nieva cussed at herself, pressing back the tears that were certain to come. Why did she do that? What did she compromise by acting on impulse? Nieva buried her face in her knees and ignored the stinging in her eyes and the lump in her throat. Alone was alright. She was used to it. She was a rock, an island. Because a rock could feel no pain. She curled up tighter on herself. An island never cried.

* * *

 

It was nearly midnight when Josiah showed up at her bedroom window that night. Nieva wasn't all too surprised. The pair had snuck out of her house several times over the years. This time felt different. Josiah tapped on the window tentatively and Nieva threw it open, allowing him and the cool autumn air inside. She was still in her pajamas, and she had done it intentionally. She hoped that her lack of changing made it clear that she was not going anywhere with him, and that if he wanted to say something to her, he had to say it here, in her home. She sat cross-legged on her bed, Josiah preferred to sit on the carpet. The silence expanded and entangled them; she could feel his hatred boil in it. She broke the silence first, determined to say what he must be thinking.

"I'm a monster. I'm a daughter of Mania, and you're being affected by me like everyone else is." Nieva said gently, filled with plenty of venom. The poison was not directed at him, but intended to bruise herself. Her parentage had done nothing but destroy and undo all of her positive relationships. If she got too close to someone, they would deconstruct quickly, unable to stop it. She curled up on herself pulling her knees tighter to her chest. "I understand, Josiah, especially this past year. I'm a freak, Josiah. You're great. Girls at school love you, and you could-- you could have any--"

"I love you, Nieva," Josiah whispered. Nieva's head shot up, staring at him in the dim moonlight. An aggressive frown took over her face as she realized what he was saying. She did the only sensible thing and threw a pillow at him.

"That's not funny, Josiah!" she cried. She picked up another pillow and lobbed it at him. "I'm being serious, and you're just, you--!" She froze, the third pillow above her head and ready to hit him, but she caught the glint of a tear on his cheek. Josiah _never_ cried. Nieva had seen him upset to the point of anguish, but even then his eyes were steady and he didn't cry.

"Josiah?" Nieva asked cautiously.

"I'm sorry, I'm really sorry, and I..." He took a shaky breath in. "I understand if you hate me after this--"

"You're being dramatic," Nieva said. Josiah laughed sadly.

"I'm really not," He looked up at her, dead in the eyes. Nieva finally followed her curiosity and spread her thoughts out before her and latched onto Josiah's mind. It almost felt like he was offering her a mental hand, and Nieva reached out and took it. Nieva was mesmerized, she could see his psyche swirling before him, a complex labyrinth of memories and emotions. His mind was the most oddly constructed one she had ever peeked into. It was filled with an impossible amount of memories, all fresh and crisp. She gasped and forced herself to look away, navigating her way through Josiah's mind, even after a short period of time, was making her light headed and nauseous. What did that mean?

"Nieva? Nieva!" He was standing above her all of a sudden. She was lying on her back, her surroundings coming back to focus. She didn't realize that all had gone to black until she was recovering from it.

"Huh? What?" Nieva breathed. Josiah's jaw was clenched incredibly tightly, his eyes still blazing with the thunderstorm of a psyche churning behind them. It was dim, hidden behind Josiah's mental barriers. Nieva groaned, "Damn, did I really...."

"I'm sorry, I'm sorry--"

"Stop apologizing, it makes you sound weak," she snapped, struggling to sit up again. She scooted back to lean against her headboard, Josiah taking a seat at the foot of her bed.

"Okay, I'm just gonna say it, then." He breathed in and out. Nieva rolled her eyes. She hadn't forgotten how he had said 'I love you', but she couldn't ignore the way he was crying. Nieva looked away. He was probably gay.

"I'm a demigod," the words were calculated, tested. Nieva's head whipped towards him, frowning. "I'm a son of Eros." Nieva paused for a beat before smiling.

"Is that it? Is that what you're so worked up about? I don't know why you wanted to hide it--" Josiah leaned forward and covered her mouth with a finger and she stopped, flushing.

"No, that's the beginning of it," he said softly, looking her in the eye. She tried to peek into his mind again, but she wasn't able to see anything at all. Usually she was able to see at least a blip of everyone's mental aura, but his was completely gone. It was as though the usual mental barrier had become something of a fortress. She was left outside to stare into his lightly brown face.

"My name is Josiah... but I... I go by another name too." His voice was shaking. He hid his emotions as well as he could, but Nieva could still see the apprehension. "I'm called Incubus."

Nieva's mind went completely silent for the second time that day. Incubus. She knew that name, but only as a coupling with the other, the name that you didn't say at Camp. Succubus. Incubus...? Was this some stupid joke that Josiah was trying to pull? What kind of idiot did she take him for? She couldn't tell if he was telling the truth or not, and usually she was pretty good at weeding out a lie. Josiah's face was hard, mature. Nieva shook her head, confused.

"You... Incubus is... Josiah, I've known you since I was six. You may be confused. I think... I think I may be infecting you," she said, truly scared. This disconnect from reality was pretty severe, if it _was_ a disconnect from reality.

Josiah laughed, cupping her face with one hand. Nieva closed her eyes. "You're not infecting me, Nieva."

"You sound sick, but... you don't look sick to me."

"Nieva, I'm telling the truth. I'm Incubus, I steal the souls of women through sex."

"No way," Nieva said. "You get all embarrassed whenever anyone mentions sex! You're not even a little bit curious."

"That's because I've done it thousands of times, and I don't want to think about it like this. I don't want to be what I am, Nieva." Josiah laughed, tears falling down his face steadily.

Nieva was silent, watching her best friend collapse. She didn't know how to respond. To think that Josiah was Incubus... that was ridiculous. He wiped his nose with his sleeve.

"I've been taking advantage of you and your innocence. I've lied to you to gain your trust and friendship. If you knew what I was... you would run away. All I wanted was a friend. I didn't want to make another woman fall in love with me, I just wanted a friend. You... you're fantastic, Nieva. But you're... even you have to grow up eventually. When you kissed me today, I guess I kind of realized what I've been trying to ignore." He laughed again, his shoulders slumped. "You're whole and I'm shreds. You're pure and I'm soiled. Who knows what kind of other friends you could've made if I hadn't impressed myself upon your life? I did this to you, I did this and I'm sorry."

"You're not making any sense, Josiah," Nieva said, genuinely starting to feel worried for him. "Look, I-- Matthaius said that I can learn how to undo sickness on people if it's not too advanced so... so maybe I can take you to the Camp and--"

"Nieva," he grabbed her hands. She looked at him, really looked at him. She took her time to run her eyes up and down his body and memorize his face. There was just no way. There was no _way_.

And yet, she watched with her own eyes as he melted into an older man, an older Josiah, slightly stubbled, same ancient eyes, same inky hair. He was taller, muscular, strong-jawed. He was beautiful, and he was a _man._ Nieva snatched her hands from his and backed away, falling off of her bed to the floor with a thud. She was hallucinating, she _had_ to be hallucinating. She passed out looking into Josiah's eyes, that's got to be it, and now she's having some weird fever dream. She looked at the stranger sitting on her bed and couldn't believe it. He didn't seem surprised by her reaction. She frantically checked her own psyche again, a trick that Matthaius had taught her. She was healthy enough... so how could she possibly be seeing what was before her?

It was possible... if Josiah really was... as he said....

Nieva didn't want to believe it. She'd hated the idea of Succubus and was disgusted even deeper at the thought of regular demigods trying to follow in her footsteps. Could Incubus and Josiah really be the same person?

"Explain," Nieva said firmly. It was impressively demanding from her crouched position on the ground. The man morphed back into Josiah, the eleven-year-old that Nieva knew. It only heightened Nieva's mistrust and she stared at him with cautious eyes.

"Succubus is my twin sister. She's more popular than I am... mainly because I... It was her idea--"

"Succubus... so they were right." Nieva said, scared. "Are there really Books of Rebirth too?"

Josiah looked up sharply, his eyes confused and angry.

"How do you know about that? Who told you about that?"

"There's a group at Camp Nyx... well they're off of Camp Nyx. They're called the Cult of Succubus. They're trying to become like her. They're... they're searching for these books--"

"Damn!" Josiah stood up, his muscles tensed, his face looking demonic. "Damn this! Damn everything that I've done!"

Nieva had never thought the word 'damn' was that bad, but the way Josiah spat it... it sounded like an ancient curse. He was damning himself and his actions. He was livid, but his eyes still held the tears.

"Damn me! God _damn_ me! Eros, damn me to the pit, damn me to an eternity of pain and torture, damn me--"

He paced the room, each step smoking slightly. His eyes were alight with rage. Nieva didn't know what to do. She didn't know how to react. Josiah's form shifted age, shape, size. He looked like several different men all at once. Nieva didn't know whether to be afraid or sad.

"I could've stopped this!" He turned to Nieva, crying. Nieva stood slowly, her back against the wall. "Our evil is spreading, and what if they actually figure it out? What if they actually--? I'm leading children, my existence is leading _children_ to sacrifice their innocence and purity and souls--their very _souls_ \--" Josiah grabbed his hair and even though he was eleven years old, he looked ancient. His eyes were angrily red and swollen with sobbing. He looked at Nieva sharply. "I'm a monster and you shouldn't love me," He sobbed. Nieva stepped towards him tentatively, still unsure.

"Josiah..." Nieva said, tasting the name in her mouth. Everything had changed about the name, so she took it on a test run. "J...Josiah--"

"This is my fault," Josiah cried. "I could've stopped her. I'm the only one who can stop her. They-- I can't believe how much they know, I can't... I can't live like this, Nieva, I can't live like this..."

"You're old," Nieva said, taking one of his hands and stepping closer to him. "You're really old, aren't you?"

"I'm older than Matthaius, actually. We were friends for a little bit. That's why I couldn't go to Camp Nyx with you. He's banned me from it."

Nieva nodded and took his other hand.

"This isn't your fault."

"Bullshit!" Josiah said harshly. "I wrote the Books of Rebirth so others could follow in our footsteps to becoming gods. I did it because Catherine said that it would at least leave a legacy if we died while it happened."

"So... you have them?"

"Yes. They'll have to pry them from my dead hands," Josiah hissed. "I should burn them. I send them up in flames with all the hopes that these kids have. They... they want to turn into monsters that kill and rape innocent people. That's disgusting." Josiah ripped his hands away from Nieva's and wrapped them tightly around himself. "I'm disgusting."

Nieva didn't say anything for a little bit. She struggled with the two sides of Josiah. There was the demon Incubus, and there was this Josiah, crying before him. If Incubus did seduce the souls from women, he could very easily be attempting to take her Nieva's soul through pity. But why would he tell Nieva what he was just to steal her?

Something in Nieva's brain couldn't stand it. She couldn't stand seeing her friend crying without comfort. She hoped above anything that her emotions were her own and wrapped her arms around Josiah's shoulders.

There was no way that Josiah would hurt her. If he wanted to hurt her, he wouldn't have revealed himself. This was the truth. She pressed her face into his hair. He went stock still.

"We're both monsters, okay? We hurt people and we can't help it."

"But I _chose_ this, Nieva," he whispered. "I'm-- I--"

"Do you regret it?"

"More than anything in the entire world," he breathed.

"Then I forgive you," she said, hugging him tighter. "It's all that you can do right now. It's okay, Josiah, it's okay."

"B-But--"

"Shut up, you idiot. I love you. I will always love you."

Josiah shook his head, pressing his forehead into her shoulder. "You don't know the meaning behind those words."

"Are you calling me a liar, Josiah Addams?" Nieva asked.

"I'm telling you that you don't know where the future is going to lead you. You don't know what you may see and what may change. You don't know what horrors I've done and who I've killed just to be here, just... I'm a monster."

"Oh my God, none of the legends mentioned what a stinkin' whiner Incubus was." Nieva teased. Josiah didn't say anything. "I don't have to know about any of the horrible stuff you did in your past. Okay, you were horrible. But you regret it now, and that's all that matters to me."

Josiah finally lifted his skinny arms and wrapped them gently around Nieva. Nieva swallowed heavily. She had debated on whether or not to tell Josiah about her own past, but now she felt as though he could respect her fear all the more.

"When I was left on my Dad's doorstep by my mom, he told me that it began to snow. He picked me up, murmured, 'nieva' and my eyes opened for the first time. That's how I got my name. I loved that story, and I remember asking Papa to tell me the story over and over. It was the only thing that never changed about him over the years."

Josiah unlocked the hug and backed up to sit down on the bed again, Nieva stepped carefully into bed and slid the covers over her shoulders. Josiah was wiping his nose and staring at his feet, blissfully keeping Nieva out of the spotlight. She took in a shaking breath and continued.

"I would get into these moods sometimes, a little kid does. He would call me Llueve when I would scream and pout. He would get distant and cold. I hated it when he called me Llueve. 'It's Raining.' A harsher version of snow. It meant that he would ignore me and glare at me. I had a lot of high emotions around my Papa, and Matthaius says that's one of the reasons why he was so affected by my powers. I would direct my own emotions towards him and he would absorb my troubles. It was probably... he was probably the only reason I'm sane today. I can't see him. I can't love him. He was just mortal. It took him six years before it was too much for him to handle anymore. Before social services took notice and separated us." Nieva covered her head with her hands. "He couldn't even take care of himself anymore, let alone me. I snuck away from here last year to see how he was. He didn't... he couldn't even recognize me, Josiah. He didn't even know who I was."

"Well... with Matthaius's training... do you think you could help him?" Josiah asked.

"No." The word fell like a brick. "He's too far advanced. He took on too much of my power. I think he's still taking some now, even though we're far away. I think... I think he's the reason why I'm the only child of Mania that isn't insane. Because he loves me so much... and I love him more than anything in the world."

Josiah nodded. "So when you told me that you hated him..."

"It's easier to say that you hate someone you can't be with than to say that you love them." She murmured. "Anyway... What I'm trying to say... I'm trying to say that I know what love is, Josiah. So when I tell you that I love you, I really, really mean it."

"That's dangerous, loving a sex demon." he shook his head.

"Are you going to try and steal my soul?" She said dramatically, wiping the tears from her eyes and forcing the moment to pass by her. Josiah struggled to smile and laughed.

"I don't think I'll be able to."

She frowned. "What does that mean?"

"Have you ever heard the term 'asexual'?"

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I couldn't let her take her secrets to the grave, you know me. Also I sort of forced a Paul Simon reference in there. Shout-out to the person who catches it~


	19. Chapter 19

"Fucking _finally--_ I've been waiting for one of you to fall asleep for _days!_ What the hell do you three think you're doing going so long without a good sleep! You'll pass out from exhaustion and be eaten by monsters or something! And do you know just how much Sera has been harassing me? They've been worried sick! I don't think you appreciate just how much this little battle is costing me, personally."

Nico rubbed out his ear with his pinky and rolled his eyes.

"I miss you too, Laura."

"You're damn right." She rose her hand into the air and brought Nico's focus to the surroundings. The scene was black and white, blurry and indistinct, before coming into sharp relief.

It was Camp Nyx, in ruins. Cannonball holes tore through the top floor, its rafters exposed. Kids were running back and forth in the dim lamplight, struggling to protect the dining hall from what sounded like an approaching thunderstorm. Nico was reminded painfully of Jason and almost voiced his questions until he saw Lysander lying unconscious in one of the cots by the fireplace. His dream heart stopped and his blood ran cold. Lysander's face was bandaged and his leg was in a splint, but his chest was rising and falling feebly, being cared for quietly by a blonde-haired girl that Nico recognized as one of Hecate's daughters.

"Lysander..." Nico breathed, unable to ask the question.

"He'll live," Laura said dryly. "They recognized his type of battle so the enemy attacked him viciously. It's his sister that's a bigger threat to them. They don't know how to pin her down. Although I don't appreciate of her affiliations, she's a huge asset. Matthaius was right. He's always right though."

The dining room melted away and Nico found himself in the midst of the battle, Camp Nyx kids being beaten back pretty far by the Romans. Adder was taking on two Romans that couldn't pin him down. He was sweating, playing an interesting game of disappear and reappear, but Nico could tell that beneath the high sun, it was more difficult. Makoto leapt from tree to tree picking off the Romans from above with her bow and arrow. Even at midday, she was fantastic at camouflage, only the telltale glint of her eyes giving her away.

"I had to pull the big guns out early on, or they would've taken us that first day," Laura said, shaking her head. Nico turned to look at her. Back at the entrance of Camp Nyx, a second Laura, limbs heavy, half-lidded eyes glowing bright, stepped into the battle with two other children of Somnus flanking her. She stepped slowly, surely, and Nico knew that she was sleep walking. Nico was reminded forcibly of Gaea. Laura exuded a frightening power as she stepped deliberately onto the battlefield. Immediately, the enemy began showing signs of fatigue. Roman soldiers shivered and heads lolled as they fell to their knees due to Laura's incredible powers.

"Holy shit," Nico whispered. Dream-Laura smiled, crossing her arms.

"Not bad for a long-range fighter, right?" she grinned. Memory-Laura continued to walk slowly into the heart of the battle, spreading her sleeping power throughout the field. The two other Somnus children were working hard too, it seemed as though they were protecting the campers from Laura's power. She didn't have a way to direct it, she just unleashed it like a tsunami. The campers stood in awe as Laura's bare feet stepped over sleeping bodies. They were in a deep, deep sleep, even Nico could tell through the mask of the memory.

"Fall back!" Nico recognized Reyna's voice instantly. She stood at the edge of the hill. Any of the Romans that weren't asleep yet were struggling against Laura's power. They crawled over Camp Nyx's borders, where they seemed to be safe. The ground was covered in sleeping bodies. An eerie still fell over the camp. Dream-Laura stepped up next to Nico and put her hands on her hips.

"Well, after that, Makoto acted as the Camp representative. I put them into a temporary coma, should only last about a week. We let them have their sleeping warriors, even though Makoto wanted to keep them as war hostages.

"That would've been my suggestion." Nico murmured, bending down to look at the sleeping faces of the Romans.

"Sera thought that it would be seen as a peaceful act, that we don't want this war." Laura shook her head. "That cabbage is going to make us seem weak."

Nico stood up and tentatively asked the question he didn't want to know the answer to.

"Are there any casualties yet?"

Laura pursed her lips and looked away. "A daughter of Eros called Peony. Age 12. It wasn't an intentional kill, but she died from wounds."

"They're not fighting to kill?" Nico asked, frowning.

"We're just fighting to incapacitate. Both sides. But of course casualties happen as a result. The... the Cult is fighting to kill. We've tried to convince them to stop, but they've killed two people in battle already."

"That sounds like they're trying to hold back at least," Nico said.

"It's not enough." Laura said firmly. "There's _no way_ that we're winning this. We don't have the power, time, or skill. We don't need blood on our hands when we raise them in surrender." Laura sighed and zoomed in on Reyna's face, serious and pensive. "We're all just biding time so you can bring those books and make things right."

Nico laughed humorlessly. "These Books? Are you serious? There's nothing even written in them! At least not in a language I can understand. I have no idea how to stop this. People are actually dying."

Laura ignored Nico's criticism of the Books and pressed on. "Over the past couple days they've been getting more brutal also." Laura said. "The wounds are deeper. Everyone's starting to fight harder. It'll be to the death sooner."

"What do you mean 'the past couple of days'?"

"You've been gone for about five days now." Laura said. "Matthaius says that time is different in Tartarus, but... please hurry."

"We will," Nico promised. "We're doing the best we can."

"Oh--" Laura frowned. "Something's happening on your end. Your nerves are being affected. Probably best to wake up. Say hi to Reilly and Nieva for me," she smiled. A chunk of ice fell into Nico's stomach. He hadn't told her about Nieva. Too late, Nico was rushing to the surface.

* * *

Nico heard a low chuckle before he rubbed his eyes and sat up against the rock surface. Immediately upon taking in the situation, Nico's nerves sparked as though being hit with electricity. A monster of some sort, something that Nico had never seen in his life, had its clawed hand on Reilly's head. Its face was indistinct, it had one huge, red eye that darted around lazily. It was hairless and wrinkled. Nico couldn't tell where its mouth was, but he could hear a rasping breath inhaling and exhaling. It looked as though it had attempted to look human but was described what a human was by someone who had only heard myths. It had the torso of the human, but its legs were canine and very muscular. This monster was something that Nico could never have imagined, and it was doing something to Reilly.

Reilly was chuckling, his face was blanched white. His eyes were out of focus and he was sweating lightly. Nico knew his sword was beneath him, and he unsheathed it slowly, so as not to draw the monster's attention. The eye stayed focused on Reilly. The hand drummed its black fingers on Reilly's skull. Nico gripped his sword and counted backwards from three.

With a shot of adrenaline, Nico chopped off the hand connected to Reilly's head, watching it as it spun away violently. The monster keened and screeched, a half-metallic, half fox-like sound as it turned to Nico. Nico was on his feet, his sword in position. He thought about Lysander bandaged in bed, barely able to move. Rage drove him forward as the monster's appendage sprayed blood everywhere. It was in pain, and in its pain, it would lunge without thinking.

"No, stop, mommy, stop--!" Reilly cried, curled up, shaking. Nico didn't want to think about Reilly's mental state. Focus on the thing before him. Focus on that.

It lunged as Nico predicted, revealing black and spiny tentacles threading from its back that reached angrily at Nico. It screamed again, sounding like a car braking. He slashed at them, rolled on the ground and was up again in position.

Nico didn't like the look of those tentacles. Those spines were probably venomous, and Nico didn't want to test his ability to hold strange monster venom in Tartarus. The monster bled and screamed, trying desperately to grab Nico. He saw the palms of its remaining hand had a large, little suckers lined its way to the tips of its serrated claws.

"Laila! Laila!" Nico turned for a second to see Reilly clawing at his own skin, shedding blood. In that second, the monster hit him across the face with its strong foot and a spine from its tentacle lodged itself in his left thigh. Nico screamed, hissing at the pain. He tried to stand, but his leg went completely numb. Goddammit. He looked around desperately for a long enough rock, a stray branch or something to splint his leg with. There was nothing but huge chunks of rock and dust for miles. He needed to splint it, if he wanted to get on his feet again.

He hissed and crawled away on his arms. The monster was descending upon him, so he turned around on his back and slashed at the monster's thigh. Hot blood sprayed from the wound, deeper red than any human blood he'd seen. He kept cutting it, willing it to crawl away at least. This creature seemed to think the same thing about Nico. It kept striking him with its clawed fists, trying to slap the sword from his grasp. He wouldn't be able to do that fighting outright. Finally, he cut off one of its tentacles and it howled with what he imagined to be rage. It writhed around in pain, still unwilling to leave their temporary base. Nico cussed. He needed to outwit it. He had a plan. It was dumb, but it was all that Nico had.

The monster was still trying to get a bearing through its pain and Nico used that time to strip his shirt off. He tore it into a few shreds and situated his sword behind his knee. He was in need of a splint and it was the only thing in reach. He positioned the point of the sword in the back of his shoe and used the shreds to tie it firmly to his thigh. He tested it out quickly, looking to the Phlegethon. Now, all he had to do was outrun it. Nico snorted. He was gonna die.

"Hey, shit for brains!" Nico called, head still spinning from the power of the kick. He knew that he would have a pretty intense headache coming on soon enough, but he had to push that aside for the sake of getting this monster gone. "You! Weird alien thing!" Nico called again. It took notice of him and began to run towards him. Nico took his chance and began limp-running as fast as he could to the Phlegethon. He used some magic to make himself run faster. He needed this thing to be going at full-speed. Nico could hear it spitting and hissing behind him, gaining speed.

He could do it he could do it. The fire river came closer and closer. Nico didn't know if he had it in him to do it, but just as he reached the banks, he jumped over the flowing fire and focused his every thought into shadow traveling back to the shore. It was excruciating. He remembered that it was difficult to shadow travel while in Tartarus, but he did remember that it was possible. Nico appeared on the banks and watched as the monster vaulted itself into the flames, screaming and burning up as the lava consumed it. Nico winced at the awful sounds of a creature dying, but sighed as he flopped down on the river's edge.

He closed his eyes and took the time to assess the damage. Awful, awful headache. Maybe concussed. Left leg completely numb. Shoulder aching. Sharp pain in right arm, a fracture? When the hell did that happen? Nico brought a finger to his bruised arm and felt it tenderly. No... it wasn't broken. It hurt like hell though. Nico forced himself to sit up and cupped his hands in the Phlegethon. He took a few nasty sips before reassessing the damage. He still had a headache, possibly more of one now. The possible sprain now just felt like an intense bruise. His leg was still, unfortunately, numb. It was spreading upwards to his midriff as well. Hopefully the ambrosia would help this, otherwise he'd just be a useless doll and be stuck here.

Nico slowly got himself to a standing position and limped his way back to Reilly. Reilly was rocking back and forth, clasping his head. Nico took Reilly's head between his hands and looked into Reilly's eyes. He was still babbling about his mother and Laila.

"Reilly," Nico said gently. He didn't respond. Nico sighed, his headache causing things to blur. He rummaged through the bag and brought out the ambrosia. They actually had quite a bit. Nico shoved a square into his mouth and dripped nectar into Reilly's mouth. He didn't want to choke Reilly or anything. Reilly's eyelids fluttered and his ramblings became quieter and quieter. Nico just kept dripping the nectar into Reilly's mouth, struggling not to pass out. The ambrosia stopped the numbness from spreading, but the headache was getting unbearable.

"Come on, Reilly, it's alright, it's over now." Nico said tiredly. "I'm sorry I left you alone. You can talk to Laura next time."

"L...Laura?" Reilly asked, confused. Nico nodded. That was enough nectar. He didn't want Reilly burning up or anything. Nico took a sip of the nectar and ignored the homey feeling that came with it. Anything to make this headache go away.

"Yeah, I talked to her when I was asleep." Nico said. He may have to repeat this when Reilly was in a better state of mind, but it was working to keep Reilly's attention now. Nico busied his hands using the remains of his shirt to wipe away the blood from Reilly's face. "You should've seen this one attack she used against the Romans. She made the whole battlefield fall asleep."

Reilly's mouth twitched into a smile. "That's my girl."

"Only one death on our side. A girl named Peony. She died from wounds, not intentionally."

Reilly swallowed and grabbed Nico's wrist, stopping Nico from mopping up all of the monster blood. "We should've been there by now."

"Oh god," Nico sighed, rolling his eyes. "Look, we're doing the best we can, Reilly. We've got tribulations of our own."

"Peony..." Reilly whispered. He clenched his jaw and looked up at Nico again. "You're right. No use worrying about it now."

Nico nodded. He very intentionally left out Lysander's condition. Reilly would fall asleep soon enough and Laura would let him know about it. Reilly frowned and looked him up and down.

"Why are you shirtless?"

Nico smiled and wiped his face with the rag. He hefted himself up and slung his bag over his shoulder. He helped Reilly to stand up and clapped him on the shoulder.

"Let's get out of here before we get ourselves into too much fun."

Reilly closed his eyes and nodded.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This chapter was so fun to write, I'll tell you what. I'm using the rest as insurance so I can post in bulk next time. Thank you to everyone who waited for me to get back on my feet, I'm so grateful to you and I appreciate your patience!


	20. Chapter 20

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> YO. I'M SO SORRY FOR THE WAIT. I AM SO SORRY. I had a monumental writer's block. I'm still not entirely happy with a few of these chapters, but I swore that the next time I posted I would just finish the whole thing so, here it is.

Walking. That's what life had become. Reilly had helped Nico construct a better splint and crutch, using a skeleton of some unknown monster. Time no longer passed in seconds, but in steps. He understood now, deeply, what monotony was. Hours had passed and hours they walked. Nico's leg was as dead as it was when the monster had stung it. The ambrosia didn't help against whatever venom had been in that strange monster's tentacles, but it stopped taking over Nico's body. Whatever it had done, it had been contained to Nico's left leg. Nico was secretly terrified. Walking in Tartarus while disabled wreaked havoc on Nico's already high anxiety. He was a good kick away from being completely at the mercy of some monster's grasp. One more numb leg and he would have to be physically carried by Reilly, along with all of the emotional baggage Reilly had already. And who knew how much further he could go? If ambrosia couldn't cure it, would there be any help for him at all? He refused to think about it. Of course there would be help for it. There had to be. He just needed to get out of here. 

The closer they came to the Mansion of Night, the more monsters crossed their paths. With Nico injured and their safety compromised, he and Reilly decided that they couldn't hold off on using Death Mist any longer. It took all of Nico's concentration to ensure that he didn't pull from Nieva's soul.

Nico controlled the Death Mist with one hand, focusing with an almost meditative concentration. Reilly was dispersing the Mist and shielding them as they wandered down the Phlegethon. He was very aware of how silent Reilly had become. Reilly's hand was extended before him, but his eyes were thousands of miles away. When Reilly had awoke a couple hours ago, he had this silence about him. If he had spoken to Laura, Nico couldn't tell. Whatever he saw had chilled him to the bone and now Reilly was silent. Nico was too uncomfortable to be curious. Things were bad. He knew that. He wouldn't think about Lysander. He wouldn't. Nico spent a lot of time thinking about things that he refused to think about.

Nico hobbled along, thinking forcibly of the gentle way that Bianca used to hold him after a nightmare. He thought about the comforts of home that he could barely remember. The Lotus was the closest thing he could remember as being a home. Anything before that was fuzzy, but still he tried to understand what a home felt like. He had started to gain those comforts back in Camp Nyx, but they were ripped from him by reality. If home was a place where danger couldn't touch him, then Nico didn't have a home.

"Let's rest," Reilly said, his voice soft. It wasn't a suggestion. Nico followed, his warm thoughts wavering and vanishing along with the protection. They found a desolate little alcove where they could tuck away and try to recoup. Nico wasn't able to keep track of time now that he had to focus so much on camouflage. If he had to guess, it had been two full days since the attack that had incapacitated him. Reilly took inventory, as though anything had changed. They were stocked enough on ambrosia and nectar. That was for emergencies only-- if they were dying, or in Nico's case, possibly paralyzed. Otherwise, they gritted their teeth and drank from the Phlegethon. 

"You need sleep," Reilly said, not looking up. He was right. 

Nico shook his head. "I couldn't." 

Reilly said nothing in response. He turned away, took to studying the Books of Rebirth instead. The way his eyes skimmed over the pages made it seem as though he could actually understand the unknown language scribbled. Nico sighed and leaned back against the rocks. Maybe he should take a pill and force himself into sleep. A scuffling sound skittered to the right of him, Nico's head whipped over immediately. His hand flew to his sword before realizing that he would be essentially useless in battle. Reilly frowned, looking at Nico. The shuffling got closer. Reilly was on his feet, the book shoved hastily back into the messenger bag that Nico pulled into his chest. 

There was a brief beat of complete stillness. Then they all attacked at once. They were beetle-like creatures, only they were the size of small dogs. Reilly drew them away from Nico by slashing and destroying a couple at a time, exploding into dust and shimmers. They must be coming from a hidden hole in the ground. Nico drew his sword and slid his way up the rocks, standing pathetically. This small movement had drained him of energy, his forehead was beading with sweat. Beetles lunged at him and he swung with his sword, missing. God, he couldn't do this. The beetle dug its pincers in Nico's arm. Nico gritted his teeth, forcing back the cry in his throat. This is what he had been reduced to, just a piece of meat! He was so helpless without a stable stance! Nico got a couple of the beetles with his sword, but they quickly figured out that Nico was the prey, not Reilly. They all swarmed, attacking in a horde. 

"Reilly!" Nico cried as they all turned target at once. More and more seemed to appear from nowhere. Reilly was trying to cut through the mass that had him trapped, biting and tearing at every piece of flesh they could reach. Nico screamed in frustration as he was dragged under hundreds of feet. He clawed at the beetles, stabbing his sword into the ground and using that to struggle to a standing position. The ground was too shifty and the sword didn't keep purchase. It fell to the ground along with its owner. He was trying desperately to protect himself somehow, but he was overwhelmed with what was happening and how quickly it happened. There wasn't enough force behind the awkward hacking that he attempted from his back. They twisted the useless sword out of his hand. He was weaponless. Oh god. Oh god the pain-- The leg he could feel was being tentatively gnawed at, his arms were being cut and tenderized, they ripped at the shirt Reilly had given him. They tried to snap through his jugular by awkwardly snipping with big pincers around his neck. It was pain, all over his body, all at once. He... he couldn't... He wasn't going to make it... he didn't... there was no point... some stupid oversized bugs... no. No! He wasn't going to die! He wasn't going to die like this! 

"NO!" He screamed deep within his chest. He slapped his hands to the ground and summoned the last drops of power from within. He didn't know what he was doing, but wasn't going to die like this. Not here. Not yet. 

He heard the hisses and screeches of the beetles and heard their scurrying in a different direction. The stabbing stopped, but the pain lingered. It was everywhere. Nico couldn't open his eyes, every breath was ragged. Stay conscious, stay conscious. Nico could feel his own blood pooling hot beneath his face. The world was spinning, oh the world wouldn't stop spinning. Nico chuckled. He had pounded the ground too hard, now his fingers stung. 

"Nico!" Reilly was at his side now, Nico could see his blurry shadow. "Gods, gods-- Oh gods--"

"He will live..." Another voice, lighter, younger. "Fetch him Phlegethon. Blood loss is still an issue." 

"There is no use trying to salvage that leg, is there?" A husky voice with a slight russian accent asked. "Wonder why--"

Nico felt a wad of cloth crammed into his mouth. It was drenched in nectar and it trickled weakly down his throat. Hot chocolate from Camp Nyx. Unfortunately, the cloth absorbed some of his blood beneath him and the creamy warmth was tainted with coppery salt. 

"Can you fix him, my Lady?" Reilly begged. Can you-- could you restore his leg?" 

Now that was the second time someone mentioned his leg. He didn't think too much about it, Nico was still focusing all of his energy not to fall unconscious.

"No," the voice sounded like a translucent sheet fluttering in a moonlit breeze. It was beautiful, ethereal. "I'm afraid it's been gone for a while."

A beautiful chill befell him, his heart warming in contrast. He floated to a sitting position and blinked a few times, trying to pay attention. The nectar was working, at least. Reilly slipped the cloth back into his mouth and Nico sucked on it. A glowing woman, more solid than a usual ghost, and yet not entirely opaque, floated before him. 

"Hello, Nico di Angelo," she said in her hollow, distant voice. "My King." 

Nico shook his head, still trying to come to terms with his surroundings. He was trying to focus anywhere but his leg. He saw five very distinctly silver ghosts floating just behind Reilly. They were of varying age, but they all looked strangely like zombies. They had hollowed out cheeks and decaying skin. They were all smiling at him, though. At least, he thought they were smiling. It was hard to tell, and the baring of teeth seemed kind of aggressive to him. 

"King?" Nico slurred, frowning, looking back to the beautiful woman again. He wondered what she could be doing in this hell. His eyes widened with understanding. "Melinoe."   
She grinned and nodded. "You requested help, and I've come to you, my King." 

"Gods," Nico groaned, closing his eyes. Of all the times to finally meet the goddess of Ghosts, Nico was half-dead and weak. "This wasn't how I wanted this to happen."

"How would you have preferred it?" one of the zombie-ghosts asked, her hand on her hip. "To become one of us?" 

"You called them," Reilly said. Nico turned to him, shocked. He hadn't heard Reilly speak directly towards him in a few days. "They scattered all of those bug things." Nico shivered and swallowed. He didn't want to think about them. 

"Who are you guys?" Nico asked as Reilly began bandaging Nico's neck and getting out the emergency stitches. 

"We're other demigods that fell into Tartarus. Our souls never escaped and... well... here we are." A soft male voice said. "We're just sort of roaming aimlessly around here." 

"That sounds awful," Nico murmured. He jumped and hissed as Reilly began sterilizing his deeper wounds. 

"It is not ideal," the Russian ghost said. "We make due with what we can. Else become _emposai_ or worse." 

"Is that how _emposai_ are born?"

"Some of them, yes," Melinoe said. "But we have more pressing matters than emposai births." she actually looked concerned before breaking her eye contact. "The battle between Camp Nyx and Camp Jupiter has been going on for a little longer than a week now. My son--" her voice caught and she turned to look back at Nico fervently. "Underworld gods and goddesses are calling in all of their favors from the Olympians. We're just begging them to keep out of this battle. If their sons and daughters are put in any more danger, they'll involve themselves. Camp Nyx will be destroyed." 

Nico found himself in a cold sweat. 

"How many people have died so far?" Nico's mouth was dry. 

"Nine. Five of them are ours." 

Nico's heart dropped to his stomach. Five. Five whole bodies of people he befriended and loved. Camp Nyx wasn't exactly populated either. What were there, a hundred, maybe? They still fought though, Nico realized. Their base hadn't been taken. There was still hope. 

"Why are you telling us this," Reilly whispered. Nico looked at him. His jaw was clenched and his eyes turned downward. 

"Because I have a personal need to escort you to the Mansion of Night myself. You're traveling much too slowly. And now with the loss of Nico's leg, it'll take even longer." 

"It's not gone, it's just numb," Nico said, looking down. His stomach dropped. He'd forgotten. His left pant leg was ripped off, he looked down at the exposed bone of his lower thigh. His calf was nearly gone, his foot was no longer connected to his ankle. The worst part was that the flesh off of his leg looked bloodless and dead, as though it had already been digested. Nico didn't believe it at first. He clutched his stomach.

"What did you say that for?" Reilly snapped at her. She blinked innocently. Nico's stomach lurched and curled over and vomited bile. The image of that thing connected to him-- it couldn't be his. Nico's center of gravity disappeared and he clutched onto Reilly. 

"What the fuck," Nico groaned, stomach lurching again. He dry heaved, nothing coming up. "God. Gods, what..." 

"I'll be able to clean this up, if you'll allow me," Melinoe said, inching forward. 

"Yeah, I think you should've done that before he saw it."

"No use hiding truth." She said guiltlessly. 

"No!" Nico gasped. "that's-- No, it's--!" She wanted to take his leg. But it was his! Those were his bones and his rotting flesh, and it was bad, yeah, but it was still his. 

"Nico, it's rotting. It'll spread rot the rest of your body," she explained these horrifying things with a calm that Nico did not feel. " Thankfully you've been upright so the poison went downwards with gravity instead of traveling to your vital organs. You can't keep it contained for much longer. You will die if you keep this on your body." 

"But it's-- that's my leg, no, no, that's my leg--"

"Not since that wraith got you. Wraith venom digests the victim upon injection. It's designed for humans and humanoid monsters. Those beetles are scavengers and they only attacked you because they smelled dead flesh. It's easier for them to digest. It may have saved your life, in fact. They went after that instead of clumsily trying to kill you--" 

Nico shook his head. "No, no, no, no, no...." He wanted to go home. He wanted to go home to Jason. "Jason, Please, get me back to Jason," Nico begged. "You're a goddess. Help me, please. Please," 

"I'm trying," she said. "To do that, I need to take your leg. Your leg for Jason, Nico. Your leg for Jason." 

Nico began sobbing. It started as a panicked series of gasps before it evolved into cries. His hands grabbed at his arms and his lungs began to burn. Reilly gripped his shoulders and hardened his jaw. He was already exhausted, he was almost dry of water, but he couldn't stop himself. He couldn't stop crying. He nodded. She bent over his leg and felt up and down it, Nico feeling something at about five inches down his thigh. Five inches. That's all the leg he'd have. Suddenly a pinching feeling a searing pain. Nico's cries peaked. He felt lightheaded with sleeplessness and despair. If he cried himself into a coma, he couldn't be blamed for the end of the world. But he couldn't stop. He'd killed people. Nieva was dead. Campers were dead. He was in Tartarus. He was in Tartarus and he no longer had a leg. 

Reilly was hugging him tightly, a charcoal scent in his hair. He was using his powers against Nico's hysteria. Nico felt himself calm, but the pain in his heart intensified. Love, it was love. Love was why grief hurt. Love behind his anxiety. Compassion for human life. Reilly was trying to help him, but Reilly was showing him why he was hurting so badly. Nico clung onto Reilly for support and cried harder and harder. Melinoe said something, but he couldn't hear her. It was too much. He had never cried like this in his life. He'd cried several times before, he'd screamed his lungs out. This was different. This was full-body, truly terrified crying. 

"It's okay, Nico," Reilly stroked Nico's head, whispering into his ear. Consciousness was waning, his sight was going along with it. He clutched onto Reilly before the darkness took him. "It'll be alright. I don't know how, and I don't know when, but it'll be alright." 


	21. Chapter 21

Nico floated in a warm haze of darkness, unwilling to make the ascend to fully being awake. His head felt heavy, his shoulders weak. The sleep had been so comfortable, so restful, that he didn't want to open his eyes. He tried to will himself to go back to sleep. He heard shifting next to him. Reilly, his brain thought immediately. He wondered vaguely what they had done last night, but refused to rack his brain for memories. Maybe if he whined enough, Reilly could bring the breakfast to him in bed... 

"Shit," Reilly groaned, shifting some more. Nico just wanted to get back to sleep. He smelled food, and his stomach cried painfully. Why was he so hungry? He shifted his weight. Something was wrong. Something was very wrong. Nico moved his left arm over to the place where his left leg should be. Nothing. 

Memories rushed back to Nico, like a movie spinning in fast forward. His mind had a sort of dull fog around it though, and he wasn't able to get worked up about it. He opened his eyes slowly, determined to address this in phases. Phase one: open eyes. 

"How the hell did we get here?" Reilly said, looking around. Nico was staring underneath a silken canopy. It was watery green, like Percy's eyes. Nico smiled a little bit. Thinking about Percy when there were much more pressing issues was not exactly good, but it wasn't unwelcome. Percy was good. Percy would've made some stupid joke by now. Phase two: Figure out where the fuck you are. He was in a bed, Nico could tell that much. From what he could guess, they were probably in the Mansion of Night. He had slept here before, eaten here before. Nico struggled to get to a sitting position, Reilly watching tentatively. Nico flinched as he scratched his neck. He'd popped a stitch and saw blood on his hand as he pulled it away. he pursed his lips and wiped it on his already soiled shirt. 

"Nico?" Reilly asked. Nico didn't say anything. Now that Reilly was talking to him, he felt that he deserved some silence. That, and Nico was afraid of chickening out before he did what he was about to do. He pushed the blanket off of his lap carefully, his left leg stopping half a foot away from the hip. It was clean, there was skin to cover the bone, but after that, there was nothing. His leg. His leg was gone. 

Nico took a rattling breath, his eyes staring and refusing to believe. He let the breath out slowly, calming himself. They still had a job to do. He was alive. He was still alive, and they still had a job to do. Phase three: Where do we go from here.

"Nico..." Reilly said gently. 

"I'm fine," Nico said, looking up at Reilly. He attempted a smile, but gave up halfway through. "I'm alright."   
Reilly didn't look convinced, but was unable to say anything in response. A couple seconds before she entered, the room was filled with an eerie loneliness. Nyx stepped in, Melinoe trailing behind her. Reilly's eyes widened in amazement and instantly he bowed his head. 

"My Lady," he said.

"Reilly Hinton." she crooned. "Popular name for such a shut-in." 

"I don't understand what you mean?" 

"This is your first quest, is it not?" she asked, sitting down at the edge of the enormous bed. The plates of food moved before Nico and Reilly. "And even still, us Underworld gods have heard a lot about you." 

"Have you?" Reilly said, taking very calculated rips of his bread and pressing them into his tongue. Nico matched Reilly's bites, his fingers quivering as he did.

"Certainly. Mostly from Matthaius, but... he thinks very highly of you." 

Reilly seemed genuinely shocked. Nico couldn't understand why, Reilly was an incredibly talented demigod, and that would be certain to attract the attention of the gods.

"And my children certainly love to complain about your difficult workload." She smiled playfully. Reilly blinked. "You are good for the Camp, Reilly."

"Thank you, my Lady," Reilly ducked his head. 

"Mother, we haven't got time," Melinoe murmured. "I don't mean to insist, but--"

"No, you're right," Nyx sighed. "Still, Lord Hypnos wants a word with these two. And you understand what it's like ignoring a request from that man. Let him know that they are ready to go above."

Melinoe pursed her lips and nodded curtly. She looked from Nyx to Nico. Nico could feel the pain in her heart when he looked at her. And suddenly she was upon him, eyes anxious and wide, glowing beautifully. She bent down and kissed his cheek. 

"I couldn't ask for a better King." she whispered. "I have been watching you, Nico. And I want you to know that I'm proud of everything you've done in my name. I'm proud of _everything_ you've done, and nothing you can do will change that." Nieva's quartz appeared in her cupped, glowing hands. She folded it gently into Nico's grasp and patted the back of his hand. "Thank you." 

She turned to Reilly next, the Books of Rebirth in her hands. She looked down at the book, laughing sadly. 

"That Josiah never made things easy for me. Still, I will miss him." She handed the book to Reilly and stared him deep in the eye. "When this opens, he's going to be delicate. Please keep my King safe." 

Reilly swallowed, closed his eyes seriously and nodded. Nico didn't even know what to think about her warning, and he was too exhausted to think about the complex double meanings behind godly words.

And then she was gone, a curl of mist in her wake. Nico squeezed the quartz, trying to press down the emotions that threatened to make him cry again. He was so close to the edge all the time lately, but this feeling was good. He felt like a poison had been sucked out of him. Melinoe was proud of him. No matter what, Melinoe was proud of him.  
Reilly was failing at stifling his hunger and he was drinking a soup from the bowl. Nico wasn't very hungry at all, but he never was. He ate a few more bites of bread, but he couldn't really taste it. He was tired. He was so tired. He felt his arms grow heavy and his shoulders droop. The exhaustion didn't just come from his body, it came from his soul. Too much. He was so tired. His life had been so fast paced, non-stop. He was arguably the most tired demigod there was.

Out of the corner of his eye, Nico saw Reilly blink slowly, the empty bowl resting gently on his lap. Nico's grip slackened on Nieva's crystal so he swung it over his neck and wore it next to the other one that Josiah had given him to wear. He let his arms fall to his sides and felt his head lolling to one side. 

"Oh, I see he's coming, The Ghost fetched him." Nyx said, speaking after her long silence. "I think I'll say goodbye to you now. I don't imagine I'll see you for quite a while, now. Good luck, my boys. And thank you for everything." She stood up, smoothing the sheets before walking to the door. Nico could barely register the words in time for him to consider the meaning behind them. 

Reilly reached out, his arms moving like liquid, towards Nico. Nico grabbed his hand. 

"I'm glad that..." he murmured, eyes going in and out of focus. "I'm glad that you're here Nico." 

Nico nodded, his blinks becoming longer and more difficult to synchronize. "You're important Reilly. We'll... get home." 

Reilly smiled and closed his eyes, looking so peaceful and serene. Nico smiled a little bit before allowing his eyes to roll back in his own head. 

* * *

Mmmm.

Mm, god that felt good. He slid his hands down his bare chest.

Oh, fuck yeah that feels good. A tongue. Green... blue eyes. Christ, christ...

"Nico?" Reilly's voice echoed in his ears. Nico squirmed beneath the noise. He was nude, god, could he get even more exposed? He arched his back and threw his hands above his head.  
  
"Yeah," Nico whispered. 

"Nico," Reilly breathed. "We-- we're asleep!" 

Nico exhaled and frowned. He moaned and reached his hands down towards his midriff again. 

"Mmm, no... Reilly come on," he groaned.

"Nico, stop that." Reilly grabbed Nico's wrist. Nico's arousal began to lower itself as Reilly's hand dissolved into Nico's body. Or did Nico dissolve into Reilly? They began to merge,

Reilly seemed very anxious. Nico still was trying to allow his mind to catch up with his surroundings. Flashes of thoughts that weren't his own attacked his mind. Reilly's fear slipped its way into Nico's head. It felt like he was in a room that was rapidly being filled with more and more water, and Nico just barely had time to take a breath before it consumed him completely. 

~*~

"You want it from me, don't you Nico?"

Nico's heart raced at 700 miles per hour. This was happening to him. This was happening, what... what should he do? He couldn't disobey the words.

"I want it from you," Nico found himself croaking as though from a script. The Percy before him unzipped his pants... but that wasn't Percy. This isn't just something that Percy wouldn't do... this was a completely different creature. Somehow he knew, how could he know? He fought against the haze and the sheer heart-wrenching terror. Nico moaned, pressing against the rising arousal in his stomach. What was happening? He fell into Tartarus... this... this had happened before... This had happened to him before! Right? How could this have happened before--?

"Nico," the demon moaned. Its magic was so potent that Nico forgot everything he had been thinking, about the past and the future. Nothing mattered in that moment but Percy. But this wasn't Percy! This wasn't Percy! He knew! This was--

"Stop!" Nico bellowed, the word exploding from him. If he didn't do something soon, something very bad, something very, very painful would happen. The demon leaned in, as though it was going to take him, but Nico knew. He struggled, a simple word came to his mind and all he knew was he had to say it. "I refuse to obey you! I name you, the Demoness, Succubus!" The memory had derailed, Nico's already fragile mind was shot with the recent memories, all of his experiences with Succubus, the Cult, his second descent into the Pit. Nico cringed and clutched his head. Succubus ran razorlike nails down Nico's chest, clawing at the fabric. Nico still had his leg in this memory, so he broke Succubus's grip-- a feat only possible by the weakness of this illusion of Succubus-- and dashed for his sword, holding it at her chest. She had transformed from Percy back into her natural form. 

"Succubus, daughter of Eros." Nico screamed. "You were slain by me! You were destroyed and you can never feed upon anyone ever again! I won't be your victim anymore!"   
Succubus was still silent, deep blue eyes staring hard into Nico. When were her eyes blue? No-- don't think about--

She stood, her chin raised and her expression stone. Nico kept the sword leveled at her chest, nervous. What was she doing? If this was a memory, what power did she have over him? Suddenly, she grabbed the blade of the sword, gripping it so tightly blood blossomed between her fingers. Nico's eyes widened in shock, his muscles freezing. Succubus pressed the blade into her chest, walking towards Nico, just barely wincing as it slipped right through her ribcage with a crunch. Nico dropped the handle of his sword and tripped backwards. It stuck straight out of her chest, blood saturating her shirt and pouring down her front. What...? What was this? She leaned in, her eyes bright as the skies now.

"Do you really think I could be killed, Nico?" Her voice was deep, she drew the sword out of her chest with a slight wince and placed it at his neck. The heavy coppery perfume of her blood choked him as much as her grip. And yet somehow... even her blood smelled decadent. "I've studied this metal more than anyone else in history. I love my brother, but I knew he had weakness in him." Nico's heart raced in his chest. He couldn't stop staring at the scar on her upper lip, the way her skin was deep and tanned, the way her short blonde hair stuck up with bed head.

"You're dead," Nico said, still daring to find her eyes again, now as blue as day skies. "I watched you melt into a puddle myself. There's no way you can survive this metal. It injures Gods. You are no god, no matter how much you pretend to be."

Her nostrils flared angrily, grabbing Nico by the throat and holding him against the rock formation. Nico clutched at her strong hands, but refuse to be scared. She was dead. That knowledge alone kept him strong. 

"What is immortality, Nico di Angelo? If the right demon comes along, the one that caught hold of you last time you were in the pit, and catches onto your memory of me, I could come back. As long as there is a person in this world who knows the name Succubus, I will be living within them." 

Nico clenched his teeth and forced himself to continue staring into the familiar tanned face. "That's fine!" He screamed back. "So long as you're metaphysical, I don't care! You can't hurt anyone as a thought." The sword hung limply at her side as she tightened her fist on Nico's throat. He squirmed. If he could just--

"I will be back. It may be in ten years, it may be in twenty, but I will return, and you know that in your heart of hearts, Nico di Angelo. You can't really destroy me."   
He was getting lightheaded for oxygen deprivation. It was now or never. Nico reached out a leg and forced one of Succubus's knees to bend, dropping Nico a few inches and giving him a footing. He twisted out of her grip and used his legs to trick the sword out of her loosened grip. He stood. He had her at his mercy again, holding the black blade to her jugular. 

"Even if you were to come back," Nico said this much stronger than he had ever felt. "I would spend every second hunting you down again. If I get so much as a whisper of your return, I will destroy you again, like I've already done. You are trash. You are nothing more than a monster from Tartarus. If you are to respawn, I will take the trash out as I have done with countless others. I don't care how many times it takes. I am stronger than you." Nico swung the sword, trying hard not to imagine that the face scowling at him as Jason's, even though that was what she wanted him to see. The head thudded and rolled around to Nico's feet. 

Silence fell, full and eternal as it had when Nico had outsmarted Succubus the first time. He was alone, scarred, terrified. The sword fell to the ground. He wrapped his arms around himself, closed his eyes and wished himself away. 

Silence. The pressure of it pressed ruthlessly against his eardrums. Succubus has to be dead. She couldn't have survived Stygian iron. Nothing could survive that.  
 _But,_ a small voice protested in his head, _She's not like the gods and titans. She evolved with the world. She changes while they are static. She could learn._ No! It was impossible! It was just impossible. He needed to be somewhere else. Anywhere else. God, he needed to be with someone. Someone's hand rested their hand cotton lightly on his shoulder. Even still, he flinched and whirled around. It was Reilly, his eyes sad and lips firm. Reilly's pupils grew wider and wider until Nico was falling into them, being sucked away from the red lands, the terror of Succubus into Reilly's memories. 

~*~

His surroundings solidified and a boy and girl in matching frilly outfits stood huddled in a corner. The room was old, it looked like the back of a trailer home. The twins were obviously Reilly and Leila, even at such young an age, Nico had never seen someone's eyes so fierce and filled with power. The little girl was shaking, Nico could tell even from this distance. 

"Shh, Leila, it's okay." Reilly whispered, and yet Nico was still able to hear. "The girl said she'll protect us. She said that we're special. We can leave." 

"But Mommy will find us," Leila breathed, her eyes drowned in tears. "She always finds us." 

"I won't let that happen, okay." Reilly said, wrapping Leila in his arms. "We're leaving. Isabel said that things are good at the Cult. That people like us have left their mothers and never returned. That our only mother is Night." 

Leila looked up, confused. "Others...like us? We're not the only ones?" 

"Mommy isn't the only one who makes grown ups do stuff to kids." Reilly whispered. "I think it's a whole bunch of people who do what she does."

"Why?" Leila begged. "Why?" 

"I don't know, Leila, I don't know," Reilly said, frustrated. "I didn't know that other kids have to do this too but... that's what... Isabel said that's what happens."   
The locks rattled from the room beyond this bedroom and Reilly's body reacted instinctively. He pushed Leila down below him and picked up a loose shoe, throwing it at the mirror. The mirror shattered into several pieces and Reilly grabbed one that seemed big enough. He handed one to Laila who looked as though she was having serious doubts. 

"Babies?" A chalky voice rolled into the room. "Are you alright? Reilly? Laila? I heard a crash, are you alright in there?" The locks outside of the door rattled as each of them were being undone. 

"What if Isabel is just as bad?" Leila whispered. Reilly shook his head. 

"Then we'll leave there too. I won't let anyone hurt you ever again." 

The door swung open as a woman with dark brown hair and dark circles under her eyes peered inside. She was wearing some sort of waitress outfit, as though she had just gotten off of work. Her face was anxious at first, eyes scanning the room quickly. When she saw the shard of glass in Reilly's hands, her shoulders sagged.   
"Has it really come to this, Reilly?" she asked gently. 

"Yes," he said forcefully. "We're leaving. And we're never coming back. You're gonna let us." 

She pursed her lips, eyes flashing with panic before shaking her head. She stepped towards them, her arms open. 

"You don't know what you're saying--"

"Stay away." Reilly demanded. He edged around her, out of the bedroom and into the combination living room and kitchen. Their mother watched, frowning, her mouth trying to form words.

"You... Please don't go." she breathed. "Reilly... Laila.... please... Please don't leave me all alone." 

Laila buried her face in Reilly's shoulder, trying hard to resist her mother's lies. Reilly swallowed and shook his head. 

"Too bad." Reilly said. "You'll have to find some other way of making money." 

"You don't understand, sweetheart," she said, stepping towards them. "I had to do it, I... there's... bills to pay. There are things we can't afford, I just wanted us to live comfortably. When you two were babies we didn't have anything to eat and I thought that we would... that we would die. I'm sorry, but we all have to do things that we don't like to make sure we're fed and healthy--"

"No!" Laila screamed, tears falling down her face. "I'd rather die than-- than do-- than have--" She shook her head. "I'd rather die a hundred times!" 

She looked at Laila and clenched her teeth.

"You don't understand. You're children. You have no idea at all what it's like being an adult-- the type of fear that comes with being responsible to feed two other mouths and keep them healthy." She took another step towards Reilly and Laila, Reilly still raising his shard of mirror at his mother. "It's hard. It was just going to be for a little bit. I only did it because I didn't want to see us on the streets. It's not like I got any support checks from your father. I've done so much to keep us together, I was hoping you'd understand and do your part to help us be together. Now you want to rip us apart? Please..." 

"We found someone who will take us away. We found someone who will help us." Reilly said, his chest rising and falling. "And... and if I ever see you again, I'm making sure you go to prison!" He screamed. 

Those were the wrong words to say. Something turned in their mother's face, a crazed anger shot through his mother's eyes like lighting.

"Prison?" she screeched, she reached out and snatched Laila by the hair, dragging her towards the kitchen. "You fuckers don't even understand anything! You're little snotrags that need to pull your own damned weight! Do you know how expensive it is to keep you both fed and bathed and clothed and shit? You have no idea the kind of pressure I'm under!" 

Laila was screaming and Reilly was terrified. Reilly froze, not sure what he could do, feeling ashamed of his hesitation and weakness. _Do something Reilly! Reilly, please!_

"Reilly! Reilly help me! Reilly--!" Laila screamed.

Reilly shook, still terrified. 

"You think you're old enough to fucking rebel? Then save your own damned lives! I created you. I fucking own you." She reached for the knives on the counter as Laila cried and screamed at the top of her lungs. "And I'll fucking destroy you."

She drew the knife to Laila's neck, and cut her chest sloppily with the serrated edges. That's what did it. That was it. Reilly felt a spike of boiling rage, red and angry, and he lunged forward. He could barely think as he tackled his mother to the ground, stabbing her in the thigh with the shard of mirror. 

She was caught by surprise, thinking that she had called his bluff with the shard of mirror, but she shrieked and threw Laila away, turning to claw at him instead. Laila ran towards the front door, sobbing her eyes out. She cut Reilly with the knife, unable to stab him properly, still shocked that she was in the situation she was in. Reilly could only see red. He couldn't feel the gashes being carved in his face and chest, he couldn't see the angry, bloody face of his mother, he couldn't hear the cries of his sister behind him. All he knew was that _she needed to stop._ Stop. Don't you _dare_ hurt Laila. Don't you dare.

His weak arms put in as much power as possible, eyes blurred with tears, screaming with each thrust into her stomach. She screamed incoherantly and tried to push Reilly off, but was too weakened to do so. She wasn't much bigger than he was, and her body was frail from drugs. Her screams and aggressions were growing weaker and weaker with each puncture in her torso. Reilly could feel no pain. All that was left to him was terror, pure, sheer, terror. 

"R...Reilly..." Laila tentatively put her hand on Reilly's back. "Reilly!" she screamed, pulling his shoulder now. "Stop! Stop Reilly! She's-- she's dead! She's dead, Reilly, stop!"   
Reilly stopped, half of the glass shard breaking off inside of the corpse, the other half firmly in his hands. He was shivering with adrenaline, hyper-aware of everything. Laila pulled Reilly into a hug, clutching him close. 

"I'm-- she was going to hurt you, Laila." Reilly tried to reason. "She was going to k-kill--." 

"She's not going to hurt me now, Reilly, thank you," she whispered. "Let's go, let's get out of here Reilly, I can't stay here, we can't be here anymore--"

"Oh--" Reilly backed away from Laila, his bloodied hands in front of his mouth. "You-- I got blood on your dress!" He said, his eyes welling with tears. "Laila, I got blood on your dress... this is your favorite dress and I ruined it."

"Reilly, that doesn't matter now, none of that matters now, okay, let's--"

"No, no, no!" Reilly shook his head. "No, this is your favorite dress and I ruined it! I ruined it, Laila!" he cried, his legs failing him. He fell to the ground. "I'm sorry! I'm sorry, Laila! I didn't mean to--"

"It's okay, Reilly, it's okay--"

"No it's not, no it's not, no it's not--"

Laila turned his face up to meet her eyes. He held onto her wrists desperately. 

"You killed her, Reilly." Her voice was shaking, but it was still very serious. "We can't stay here. We need to go. We have to go." 

"But--"

"Reilly!" she shouted. She pulled him up from the ground and he blinked in shock.

"The Cult will understand us, yeah? We have to go, Reilly," she whispered, crying. "Before they find us." Reilly nodded jerkily, being led in a daze. She pulled him towards the front door, though something about Reilly's face changed. With what seemed like immense internal conflict, he shook Laila's grip, but Laila didn't seem to notice. She opened the door, her hand still in midair as though Reilly was still attached. Sh looked back for a second, hesitating, before leaving the trailer completely and slamming the door behind her. 

Reilly started walking towards the corpse as a ten year old, each step aging him until he stood right before her as a fifteen year old. Still covered in blood, wearing the little outfit that he tried to run away in, he stared at the pale corpse, as though waiting for it to say something. 

When it began to shuffle, Reilly did not show any signs of surprise but watched as the corpse sat up, waxy and bloodless, pulling a pack of cigarettes from inside her waitress's apron.

"Hello again, Reilly." 

"Mom." 

More silence as she lit a cigarette, taking a deep drag from it. The sun dipped lower in the sky, illuminating the trailer kitchen in a flaming orange, sweltering like an oven. Dust motes blurred the room as the light caught them twinkling in the air, cicadas chirped deafeningly beyond the door, and blood cracked as it dried on the dead woman's face. "Do you want to say it or should I?" 

Reilly wanted to choke on his words, hoping they would kill him before he could utter them. "I'm a murderer." He stared past her. 

"Sure are," she nodded. 

"I killed you so thoughtlessly, I saw you in all of the others I killed for power... it's my natural talent. This is what proved it." He closed his eyes. "It's what I am at heart."

"Bingo." She smiled, pointing the lit cigarette at Reilly. "Do you think you had any choice but to find the Cult? That fate would bring you anywhere else other than to be the ruthless being that you are? You are my son, through and through, and your murder of me was the perfect example of that."

"I was trying to protect Laila." Reilly said, looking up, frowning at her. "I was doing all of that to protect her. You did what you did to us because you were out of cash. You said that shit to make us think like we had no other choice and that we would die without it. You were lying. You spent that money on coke and booze and whatever else. We could've gone to homeless shelters or something. Instead you-- You--"

"What did I do, sugar?" she said. 

"You sold videos of us." He said, trembling. His tongue had never admitted these truths before. "You got your sick friends in here, recorded them-- you recorded them--" Reilly's voice caught in his throat. "You recorded my rape. Several times. Out there-- somewhere out there is me as a child in pain and scared because of you. That's what you did. What I did was protecting my own. What you did was disgusting and selfish." 

"Sure that's how it starts, Reilly Bear," she said. "I took photos of you in the bath and got cash for that, and you weren't being harmed for that, right? That was protecting my own while exploiting the system. But you weren't thinking about Laila when you dissected that child's mind and watched it die. You weren't thinking about Laila when you condemned souls to nonexistence. You weren't thinking about Laila when you raped men from the village and gutted them. What about those emposai that begged you to stop, that pleaded for you to show mercy--"

"STOP!" Reilly was clutching his head, curled into a ball. "STOP! I DIDN'T--"

"BEGGING FOR MERCY, BEGGING FOR SOMEONE TO STOP, SOUNDS FAMILIAR DOESN'T IT, REILLY?" She screamed, her voice pressing in on him from all sides. "It runs in the fucking family. Performing experiments on helpless people for your own gain? Do you think you're any better than me?" 

"Stop, stop... stop, please--" Reilly whispered. "I didn't know, I was a kid, I was just a kid I didn't know--"

"There have been tales of kids doing miraculous things to help and better others, and here's Reilly Hinton, sawing someone's dick off." 

"I had no choice!" Reilly stood up finally, his eyes red and swollen. "I was twisted and fucked up because of what you did to me! I had no idea what to do with myself! I was scared and angry and hurt and I wanted the pain to stop, I wanted it to just stop! I still do! You're still haunting me after all these goddamned years and all I want is it to stop. So I did what I thought would stop it. I didn't know the difference between right and wrong because I had no frame of reference! I don't deny what I've done in the past is horrifying! The guilt of it all eats away at me every single night!" He stepped towards the corpse that had turned its head down in thought.

"But I've grown. I grew from that because I saw the world and I learned right from wrong and I'm changing. I'm doing the best I can to help Laila heal as well. I turned my hate for you into compassion for my brothers and sisters. You don't run my life anymore! You're dead. I've killed you. And it's taken every single bit of my growth to tell you to your face that I wouldn't kill you again if I had the choice. You're not worth the court case." 

She put the cigarette out with her disemboweled stomach and looked up at Reilly. 

"And yet here we are. You'll always come back here, won't you?" 

Reilly took a shuddering breath and nodded. "Probably. But I'm not going to use you as an excuse to hurt other people anymore." 

And he turned walking towards the door. His limbs were so heavy, every step took intense strength, but he made it. Closing the door on the bloody scene and out into the dusk air, Reilly had never felt more tired in his life.

Nico sat on the steps of the trailer and Reilly froze. Nico had seen the whole thing, but had happened inside his head, like a dream just as Reilly had seen Nico's confrontation with Succubus. He sat down next to Nico and they both watched as the stars came into focus. Crickets sung in the damp summer air. 

"Succubus is dead, you know." Reilly murmured. "I know that's your greatest fear." 

"And you're a good person." Nico responded. "I know that's yours."   
They both sat there for a while staring as the purple sky turned deep blue. 

"Where did you live?" Nico asked. "The sky is beautiful."

"South Dakota," Reilly said, smiling. "it's one of my favorite parts about this place. I'd look out the window and see a hundred thousand stars. We lived in the middle of nowhere, so the stars were always really bright on new moons." 

"Where is Camp Nyx?" Nico asked. Reilly laughed. 

"You still don't know?" he nudged Nico's shoulder. "It's in lower Nebraska. You're awful with direction, aren't you?" 

"Well, I've been all over the country. Everywhere starts to look similar." 

"In fact, all human minds tend to melt together, so it's hard to tell apart one brain from the other, if you think about it long enough."   
Nico and Reilly frowned and turned to the new voice. A wispy man with half-lidded and baggy eyes smiled at Nico and Reilly. Nico felt exhaustion slip into his bones again, but caught himself before passing out. 

"L... Lord Hypnos?" Reilly said eventually. Hypnos nodded gently. "It's... an honor to be in your... in your presence my Lord..." 

"As it is an honor to be in your minds." 

"You have access to our minds at... you have access to them at all times though, don't you?" Nico yawned.   
He nodded. "But never am I this immersed in a single mind at one time. It was a bit difficult untangling your minds. Hopefully all of your memories will be in the correct bodies after this mishap. If not, just see my lovely daughter, she'll fix you up." 

"You wanted to speak with us?" 

"I only wanted a peek in your minds, to be honest," he chuckled. "I wanted to give you a chance to directly face your biggest fears. How interesting that you both fear the same thing." 

Nico didn't say anything. He looked at Reilly, but looked away. Reilly's secret was much more personal... or was it just because Nico's fear had become everyone else's business? If Succubus hadn't returned for Nico's soul, she would be stashed down in Nico's secrets until someone forced it out of him. 

"Reilly, you fear yourself in the same way Nico fears Succubus. You're afraid that the evil will return and consume. You're jealous of how impervious Nico seems to the temptation of evil, and even though he is weaker than you, you respect him for that more than he will ever know." 

Nico's lips parted in shock, looking at Reilly. Reilly's head was downcast, but Nico was too curious. 

"Do you... do you really think that way, Reilly?" 

Reilly shrugged. "I mean, yeah. Isn't it obvious?" 

Nico shook his head, smiling, "Nothing is obvious about you, Reilly. You're all smoke and mirrors." 

"And Reilly, Nico's respect for you has only increased after seeing this interaction with your mother. Something you were worried about." 

Reilly frowned and looked at Nico. 

"How is murdering my mother in cold blood something that you respect about me?" Reilly said, raising his eyebrows in disbelief.

Nico shook his head. "You were protecting your sister. And you had to teach yourself everything, not just that-- you had to unlearn everything your mom taught you, and you did. I think it's great that you're who you are with all of the shit that's happened to you. I think it's more than worthy of respect." 

Reilly stared at Nico with disbelief for a few hot seconds before shaking his head, murmuring, "Such a goddamned ray of sunshine for a child of death, I'll tell you that much."

Nico snorted. "Only about other people, you know." 

"Yeah, whatever." Reilly said. He turned back to the god. "Is this what you wanted, my Lord? For us to respect each other?" 

"I needed your minds to have touched, for you two to be in sync for the upcoming battle. It's important that you trust each other enough to share the burden."   
Nico swallowed. "What... what burden?" 

He shook his head, smiling sleepily. "The rift that the Cult forged into Tartarus is still open. Once I send you through it, it will seal itself. It's taking a lot of magic to push the three of you safely up to the surface. I've given instructions to Laura to have someone waiting for you. Things will be alright. You two are strong, and I just wanted to check and make sure of that."

Reilly glanced at Nico, and Nico put a hand on Reilly's shoulder. He hadn't missed what Hypnos had said about the three of them. The crystal on Nico's chest burned hotter than ever.

"We'll do what it takes to protect the campers. You can be certain of that." 

Hypnos nodded. "One last vision before you reach the surface, then. To unify you a little more." He waved his hand and Nico was out faster than he thought possible. He didn't even have time to brace for it. He heard Reilly chuckle as they both sped towards the battlefield. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> ugh what shitty pacing lmao


	22. Chapter 22

Stop. 

Stop stop stop. Stop thinking about it

stop thinking about it stop

what are you doing louder LOUDER LOUDER PLEASE PLEASE SOMEONE PLEASE

Nieva was pacing her bedroom of Camp Nyx. Her mind was spinning with thoughts that weren't hers, fears and anxieties from the entire camp. Heightening, heightening. Everything getting worse. Nothing getting better. Josiah. Josiah Josiah makes it better, he can, he will stop this for you. Whenever Nieva was near Josiah, he silenced all of the other voices, whether magically or just from his presence. They shared the burden of all of the panic and paranoia and she could look Josiah in the eyes and everything seemed

like it would be okay.

Nothing was okay right now. 

Everything aLL AT ONCE EVERYTHING VOICES IN A ROOM LISTEN LISTEN LISTEN LISTEN TAP TAP TAP TAP click click TAP CLICK TAP on the walls the beating of her heart was off by just a bit, the beating it would stop one day one day one day it would stop she would stop everything was wrong everything was wrong was wrong was wrong is wrong everything is her fault

everything is her fault and she was spiraling spiraling down and down and down and crashed at the bottom, her panicked cries growing louder and louder and shh, don't let them know that you're crazy, don't let them know they think you're strong they think you can handle

BUT I CAN'T, but you have to

**I want to die.**

The only thought that was silent and from her core. I want to die. Everything would go quiet for a second, her mind would whisper those words, then everything came back full volume. Josiah can make things alright. Josiah loves me and I love him. I have no one in this world. I do not matter to myself, but Josiah would be upset if I were to kill myself.

That is why I don't. 

But he's gone. HE'S GOING TO LEAVE THIS WORLD HE'S GOING TO

Don't think about that don't think about that don't think don't think carving your skin just rip yourself to pieces just bleed all over the floor until you're alright just--

"...Nieva?" Makoto's soft voice called from the doorway. Nieva looked over her shoulder at the doorway and Makoto stood, her eyes wide in shock, hands over her mouth. Nieva hadn't been interrupted mid-attack before, but they had also become stronger and more frequent. Nieva tried to force herself to meditate to regain composure so she could speak to Makoto, but her mind was spinning too fast. Keeping composure like that for so long took a lot of effort, even more so because none of the medicines available worked on a mind like hers. 

"Please leave," Nieva managed, her voice husky. She didn't want to be like this in front of people. She looked down and realized that her forearms were bleeding. Shit.   
Makoto gasped and closed the door behind her as she knelt down next to her. 

"How..." Makoto waved her hands over Nieva's wounds, they warmed and began to heal. "How long have you been hiding this from us, Nieva?" 

Nieva barked a laugh. "How long have I been alive? Do you think that it's by some chance that I'm the only child of Mania with a head on their shoulders? Do you think that it's a miracle? It's hard work and a very good friend that keep me together, but he's leaving, he's going and I'm going, and I'm going and I'm going and I'm never going to come back, I can't live like this, Makoto." 

Makoto looked into both of Nieva's eyes, scared for her. Nieva could feel her fear. Nieva could feel each one of her emotions. 

Scared. Worried. Sympathetic. Pathetic. Wow. Makoto's view of Nieva changed and Nieva could feel it could feel it she could feel it could feel everything she could feel the laughter and the pain and the fear and she could feel her memories slipping and her life force waning and the universe pulsing--

"Please, Nieva, let's-- therapy could--"

Nieva barked a laugh. She laughed again and covered her head with her bleeding arms. "Therapy, therapy, therapy, therapy, do you think think therapy think think think THINK--" She shook her head and pushed her body away from the spot next to Makoto towards the wall behind her. "I can't be fixed. I was made this way! This is what I am for, this is who I am, and I am scared and change is coming and this is who I am. It's who I am. This is Nieva Gonzales! Pathetic. Apathetic Mexican bitch Gonzales."

**I want to die.**

Nieva clutched her head and screamed as hard as she could. She wanted it to stop! She just wanted to be okay. That's all she wanted. She didn't want her father to go and her best friend to die and her mind to unravel and her fingers, her fingers to feel like spindles on the floor tapping the wooden panels and not feel real and feel disjointed and scared all the time

she wanted to be okay to be OKAY SHE WANTED TO BE OKAY, THINGS SCREAMING, SCREAMING IN HER HEAD, JUST BE OKAY, BE ALRIGHT, VOICES OVERLAPPING, BRIGHT FLASHES POPPING IN HER EYES

And then she was gone. Her mind powered down from external forces, Laura or a nearby Somnus camper. She hadn't noticed that Makoto had run off to get someone to stop her. Her dreams were filled with the same fear, just depicted in her father's corpse and her Mother's appearance. There was no escape from this. Nieva was trapped. This was her state of being, her state of living. 

**I want to die.**

* * *

Nico and Reilly found themselves in a black chasm of nothing, Nieva's crystal glowing brightly as they floated in black suspended animation. Reilly was sobbing, Nico was speechless. How did they not notice? How could they not suspect a thing? Did they allow Nieva to fall through the cracks? Why Nieva? Why her? It wasn't fair. Was there really any help for children of Mania? Was there really any help for any of the demigods? 

If anything good came from this at all, it was that she was at rest now. Nico could feel that much. The way her mind had fired so rapidly in the vision was now a calm gentle wave. She was at peace, and she would find peace in the Underworld. Nico understood, even the concept of Asphodel seemed like a relief. He knew why Reilly cried though. Could someone have done something about her sickness? Reilly knew so much about power control, was there something he could've done magically? 

It was a hard thing to come to terms with. They would never know. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Nieva is so important to me


	23. Chapter 23

A red light like a candied apple split the coming night as Nico, Reilly, and what was left of Nieva emerged from Tartarus like a cork out of a bottle. The force of their ascension was so strong that it welded together the crack that had been created by the Cult and they laid on a hillside, exhausted and confused. Nico felt as though his soul was launched painfully back into his chest, his spirit flinging around wildly as Lord Hypnos situated his mind back firmly between his ears. It wasn't a pleasant experience at all. 

"Nico! R-Reilly!" Adder's little voice called as he split through the dimming red light with his darkness. "Get up! They're coming they--"  
And then all at once Roman soldiers were on them. Reilly stood immediately, dazed but prepared, and tried to protect himself and Nico from being apprehended. He summoned magic and expanded a shield, pushing the soldiers back. Somehow they knew how important Nico and Reilly were to Camp Nyx, and somehow they knew where exactly they would reappear. Nico watched helplessly from the ground as Reilly attempted to fight off four soldiers while being exhausted. Something was different about their fighting style-- the Romans seemed to have tapped into their own godly given powers and were using that in battle as well as the traditional roman style. It was sloppy but it was the advantage they needed. They had the magic and military tactics. They were evolving with the type of battle that they had come up against so they could match and overcome the Campers. 

"Nico!" Adder cried, finally reaching him, eyes wide. "Your leg! What happened to-- Where's Nieva? What's--"

There were too many questions to answer, and Nico squeezed his eyes shut as the Romans tried desperately to reach Nico, but Reilly fought against them. Nico wanted to help, but he didn't want to needlessly hurt the Romans. What was this battle for? Why were they even fighting?  
A masked boy rose his hand above his head and summoned creatures from the ground made of mud and roots. They slipped through Reilly's defense line and made towards Nico. Nico attempted to stand using his sword as a crutch, Adder tried to help him. 

"Look, here!" Adder said, focusing for a moment. A black shadow of Nico's leg that could completely support his weight evened him out. He was standing on two feet, and he could hold his sword up. Adder was focusing very hard, his eyes blacked out like a demons, glittering with the fading red light. Nico felt elated, but unbalanced. He made to attack one monster but the black leg faded in and out from gray and back. 

"S-sorry, Nico," Adder called, "I'm trying!" 

Nico felt his heart drop to his knees. This was just like with the beetles. He stumbled and the black leg disappeared, causing him to fall down, his sword clattering. The slow mud monsters advanced upon him, their vines unraveling and making to grab him. He was weak again. He couldn't fight for himself. Adder was doing his best, but what was the point if he couldn't even raise his own sword? They closed in on him, just at the moment he heard a distant grumble of thunder.   
Nico's heart back flipped and blood rushed to his cheeks. The attack had come on so quickly that he didn't have time to feel the relief. He had left Tartarus. He was above. He had survived. The land was a warzone, but it was still earth. And that meant--

A bolt of lightning struck two of the monsters and blasted them to chunks. He came in like a tornado, eyes glowing electric rage and holding his golden blade above his head. Nico couldn't believe it. 

Jason destroyed the poorly-made monsters in an instant and turned his sword on his fellow Romans, fighting them with deadly skill and determination. Reilly had stumbled backwards and, panting, sat down and watched Jason dominate. Adder was still trying to help Nico, saying something about the his brother and Lysander, but Nico couldn't even think. He couldn't see anything but Jason, his Jason, this boy that had cried into his arms, the stupid blonde boy that had kissed him crazy, battling for Nico before him. Three of the Romans were still attempting to get Nico and Jason stood in front of him, his stance as wide as possible. 

"Come on." Jason growled as they advanced tentatively. "I fucking dare you." He rose his sword above his head and it charged with lightning, hovering inches above the ground with the power of the winds. "Give me a reason to do it, and I swear I won't hold back." 

They were already injured and successfully intimidated. The Romans glared for a little longer before retreating with their wounds. The winds died down and Jason's blade lost its charges. Once they were completely out of sight, Jason's shoulders rounded and his sword dropped to the ground with a thud. Everything was silent in the field for a moment, Reilly was bandaging a few of his wounds. Adder looked down at the ground, fidgeting nervously. Finally, Jason turned around, dropped to his knees and pulled Nico into a tight hug, burying his face in Nico's chest. Nico couldn't catch up, still trying to grasp that his body was out of the pit, but Jason's scent was overwhelming-- after the sulfur and the blood and the carnage of what felt like an eternal Tartarus, Jason's scent, the sweet, nutty smell of his hair-- Nico gripped him back just as tightly. 

"I--" Jason's words were stuck in his throat. He pressed his hands against Nico's cheeks. "You're--" 

Nico nodded. "I'm back. But it's not over Jason, we still have work to do." 

Jason's shoulders shrugged and he leaned his head back down on Nico's chest and nodded. "Okay," he whispered. "I was--" he jumped back. "Your leg--!"

Nico swallowed hard. The loss of his leg hadn't really hit him. Things had happened too quickly for it to really strike him as real. He bit his lip and attempted a smile. " 'tis but a flesh wound." 

Jason shook his head in surprise and Reilly burst out laughing. The sound was a little manic but he sounded as though he had released a bag of pressure. Reilly clutched his stomach and laughed and laughed.

"You-- When did you watch Monty Python?" Jason asked, an exhausted smile on his face.

"That'd be Sera," Reilly answered, wiping his eye. "They're really into classic British humor. I bet they showed you all that stuff--"

"Reilly?" Adder said, not smiling at all, his voice soft. "Where's Nieva?"

A silence fell over the four of them. Jason looked up and around, as though noticing this for the first time. He looked to Nico and Reilly for explanation, but Reilly was unable to meet him in the eye. Nico looked up pulling the glowing crystal from within his shirt. Jason visibly swallowed. He closed his eyes and gripped onto Nico's shirt. He pulled Nico into a kiss. It was salty and smelled like burned hair and charcoal. He said what he needed to in the kiss. _Thank the Gods you returned to me. I'm glad it wasn't you. It could've been you. I was worried._ Nico kissed Jason back tentatively, running his fingers through Jason's hair.

"Where's Nieva?" Adder demanded when no one answered him. " _Where is she_?" 

"Adder..." Reilly said, kneeling down. Adder backed away, his eyes welling with tears.

"That's not fair!" Adder cried. "It's not--"

"Adder," Nico said, slowly. "We need to keep fighting. It won't just be her if we wait any longer. We could end this. But we need to keep going." 

Adder's face screwed up in anger and despair and he clenched his fists. He nodded, his little dreadlocks bouncing against his forehead. He rose his hands above his head and covered the group in blackness, and they headed back to Camp Nyx. 

* * *

 

"It _was_ you guys!" Makoto said, thrilled, standing up from the side of Lysander's bed. She wrapped her arms around Reilly's neck and kissed his cheek. "I thought-- I had thought-- But where's--"

"Nieva's dead," Reilly said clearly. Nico knew that he didn't want to have to repeat himself several times. Sera stood up, Makoto backed up a little bit. Lysander made to sit up in his bed. 

"Gonzales?" Oleander said, standing up from Lysander's bedside. "Mania's girl?" 

Reilly didn't look her in the eye, but nodded. He didn't elaborate. Nico didn't want to elaborate either. Jason was holding him up with his shoulders. 

Jason sat Nico in a bed and went out immediately to get things to wash him up.

"What's been happening? Where's Matthaius?" Nico asked. 

"Right now, Matthaius is trying to work with the gods and goddesses of the Underworld and get them to work with us." Sera said, more serious than he'd ever seen them. "He's pulling in favors from everywhere. Laura is out the on the battlefield with Damien and more members of the Cult and the Camp. We've been working with Jason on battle tactics. Makoto is actually surprisingly good at them also." Sera smiled sadly. Jason walked back with water and fresh set of clothes. "It's something I wish I didn't know." 

"Even if the Son of Jupiter is here for selfish reasons," Oleander side-eyed Jason. "I can't deny that he's been helpful." Jason didn't even pay attention to her as he undressed Nico and put on a new, clean shirt. 

"You're so thin," Jason murmured. "We have some nurses here from the town, I'll get one to put an IV on you." 

"Who are the fallen?" Reilly asked, sitting at the end of Nico's bed, watching Jason fuss over Nico. 

"Eurydice Collins. Rayshawn Jones. Donovan Mihaylo. Brianne Purdie. Eric Kim." Sera's voice was deep and thick with emotion. Nico knew that much about the child of Cupid-- they were seriously connected to everyone at the camp and considered every camper their family. To lose someone during a tragedy like this...

"We'll be okay, Seraphim," Nico said, wanting more than anything to reach out and hold their hand. "We'll be alright.   
Jason scooted the chair up closer to Nico's bed and rested his head on Nico's chest, his eyes barely staying open. Nico stroked his golden head and felt affection surge through him. 

"You haven't been sleeping, have you, you idiot?" 

Jason shook his head tiredly. "How was I s'posed to sleep if I didn't know if you were safe or not?" 

Nico chuckled, still stroking his head softly. Jason's muscles went lax as he held onto Nico. 

"They withdraw at sunset," Makoto said, sitting back down next to Lysander who had been completely quiet this whole time. "We can discuss what we can do now that you're back." 

Reilly shook his head, still not looking away from the back of Jason's sleepy head on Nico's chest. "We don't know what to do. We've gotten vague orders from gods and goddesses, but it's still not clear." 

"Well, what happened in Tartarus? What did you meet? How did you even come by the books?" Oleander asked. Reilly licked his lips and bit them before sighing. He told them the gist of the story. He told them how Nieva knew Incubus and how Incubus had the books and was plotting against his sister. He told them how Nieva died, but instead of her soul being lost in Tartarus, Incubus stored it in her rose crystal. Nico looked at Makoto at this time and realized that she was not looking at Reilly. Reilly didn't say how Nieva died, but Makoto knew. He told them about how Nico had to kill Succubus and Incubus and how they were no more. 

"It was hell. We met monsters. We experienced torture. Nico lost his leg. But we're alive, and we were able to bring Nieva's soul up to the surface. That's about as much of a victory as any." 

"So you... you retrieved the Books of Rebirth?" she asked, breathlessly. "You have the knowledge in your hands?" 

Reilly glared at her, challenging her with his eyes. He stood up. "If you think that these books are going to reveal anything to you about how to become like them, you're sadly mistaken. Josiah spent decades compiling and rewriting these books to whatever they are now. He wouldn't give it to me if he knew that others could turn themselves into monsters with it." 

She pursed her lips and looked down. "He doesn't know me."

"And you will never know him." He said. "Now sit down, Oleander." 

And, miraculously, Oleander sat. Even though he hadn't been in the Cult for years, she still respected his authority. Nico sighed, his eyes drooping. "Can someone get me a sandwich or a soup or something? I'm hungry." 

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm gonna rename this fanfic to "jason is so worried all the time"


	24. Chapter 24

Night falling on Camp Nyx was usually an event where all of the little ones excitedly got ready for extra battle training, or ran around the fields chasing fireflies and practicing their powers under Reilly's supervision. Tonight, however, it was dedicated to the treatment of the wounded and the fatigued. Makoto, Sera, and Oleander went out to make sure the perimeter was secured, but the perimeter around the camp shrunk back further and further each day. Damien strode in carrying Campers on tow. He placed them in beds and began to wipe off their foreheads and feed them tiny bits of ambrosia. The littlest ones came out from the basement accompanied by Adder and Tiger's Eye. They were unusually subdued and tentative. Nico hated fear in the eyes of a three year old, especially when they used to be filled with such light. 

After setting everyone down on the beds, Damien walked over to Reilly's bed and began to chat with him in a low voice. Reilly turned his head away and didn't say anything. Damien frowned and tried to insist, his murmuring getting more angry. Reilly turned back and frowned, muttering a few words. Damien turned away angrily and strode to Nico's bedside. Jason was sitting down next to Nico, tracing circles on the back of Nico's hand and drifting in and out of sleep. 

"You retrieved the Books of Rebirth, yes?" Damien asked, irritated. Nico looked at him.

"Yes," Nico said simply. "Before you ask if you can see them, I'd rather die before that happened." 

Damien clenched his jaw and growled. "Look. That book is supposed to help us end this battle--"

"And Reilly and I are the ones who have been entrusted with it." 

"Do you think that you have even an iota of the magical power that I have? Do you think that you'd be able to--"

"Stand down, Damien." Jason said, rising out of his chair. "The book has been entrusted to these two. You have no say in its fate." 

"You can't say that to me, you have no idea the lives we've sacrificed to find that-- Isabel, she--"

"I don't care what your people have done in the past." Jason said. "You don't claim rights to this book because of your desperate history with it." 

"How... how dare you--"

"He's right, Damien," Nico said from the bed, calmly. "Isabel wanted the Books for power and destruction. I wanted it for peace." 

"And why did you think he allowed it in Reilly's possession, then?" a soft voice took away background noise and wrapped itself around Nico's mind. Nico would never get over how intimidating Matthaius was. Nico looked away, not wanting to answer, Jason had backed away and sat back down in his seat. Damien's head bowed down immediately, scowling. 

Reilly stepped out of his bed and walked towards Matthaius. 

"Because he and I shared the same guilt." Reilly slipped the book out of his messenger bag and gripped its leather binding. "He knew that I could respect it the same way he did. This holds all of his regrets. I understand him." 

Matthaius nodded. He looked to Damien. "If you want to try and pry that out of Reilly's hands, you can try. I will use every once of force to stop you."   
Damien's mouth opened a bit before closing in a grimace. 

"It's not as though anyone could understand it," Reilly said, opening the book to a random page. "It's in a language that I can't understand--"

Lysander finally spoke, launching himself from his bed. "With a single look!" He shouted, his voice raspy, "Don't open it!" Reilly closed it as quickly as he could, but too late, Nico doubled over, breathless. Nico screamed as they all piled upon him, the throbs of pain growing stronger and stronger one after the other. It was like he was being piled on top of, what it was, he had no idea.

"Help--!" Nico cried, clutching his head with one hand and chest with the other. He couldn't breathe, he couldn't breathe. "Help me!" He was getting weaker and weaker, he couldn't hold them back, it was like a spiritual vomit that threatened to dislodge his very soul. It was... death. That much he could tell. So much death. They threatened to overtake him. Nico was crying, events happened with such quick succession he didn't know if he could handle any more. 

"Reilly, p-please!" He cried. "Stop! Close the book, close the book, take them back!" Jason was next to him, forcing Nico to look him in the eye. Nico had trouble holding his consciousness. Nico held onto Jason's hand. Jason was terrified, he could feel that much. Jason offered Nieva's geode which did disperse some of his panic, but didn't lighten the load of death on Nico's shoulders. 

"Nico!" Someone stumbled into the room, pushing past the shocked and frozen bystanders watching Nico's predicament. It was Sean, Son of Melinoe, and he was clutching his head in much of the same way Nico was. He could sense it in the same way, the hundreds of thousands of spirits threatening to be unleashed. 

"Help!" Sean cried, holding onto Nico's arms. Nico shuddered as some of the weight was taken off of his shoulders. Nico moaned and his head lolled back and forth. "What is that? Where is they catalyst?" 

"What? The what?" 

"The haunted object!" Sean demanded. Nico couldn't do much but cry out, his head threatening to concave. Reilly handed Sean the Books of Rebirth and he opened it with one hand. Nico gasped and clutched onto Sean's hand, willing the spirits off of him. 

"It's okay, it's okay," Sean whispered as let go of Nico's hand and pressed it to his Nico's face. "We'll help you, you can let them go in a moment, shh..." Sean's eyes glowed as he scanned the words of the books and shook his head.

"This isn't just... This isn't just a haunted object, what the hell did I miss?" Sean whispered. 

"What is going on?" Jason demanded, half scared. Sean looked up, his eyes still glowing like a reflection of the moon on the water. 

"This is possibly the greatest haunted object in the world. It seems to be a storage device for.... hundreds of thousands of spirits. That's not all, though I'm... I think... there may be an underlying spell. It'll reveal itself when Nico lets the spirits go."

" 'Lets them go' ?" 

Nico was expending all of his energy holding them in. Letting them loose without destroying himself and keeping them all bound to the book seemed impossible. These spirits were sad and restless, and if he wasn't able to control them all, they could break off and become poltergeists-- rogue spirits. Nico cried, clutching his ribs. They felt like they would crack under the pressure.

"Please! Please, I have to let them go! I'm--!" Nico cried. "I'm going to die, I can't hold them back!" 

"What? What do we do?" 

"This spell can't be avoided..." Sean said, his eyes scanning the page quickly. "Reilly, you have to keep his mental stage calm, if you're not affected by the spell. I'll try and help control the spirits so he's not overwhelmed." 

"What happens if he's overwhelmed?" Jason said, clutching onto Nico. 

Sean shook his head. "I don't know. I've never seen anyone control this many spirits before." His eyes dimmed. "But I've never met a King of Ghosts before. I'm sure he'll be alright." 

"I--!" Nico screamed. "They're--!" 

"Let them go now," Reilly said, rushing up and putting his hands on Nico's temples, closing his eyes. Nico felt a calm befalling him, the spirits still heavy but the determination rising in his heart. 

"Are you sure?" Sean asked. Nico felt the boy's hands clam up. 

"PLEASE!" Nico screamed. Jason clutched onto him. 

"Do it!" Jason demanded. Sean took in a shaky breath and nodded. 

"Now!" Sean said. Nico released them all, crying out, Sean grunting and letting his head fall down, his knees giving out beneath him, still holding Nico's hands. A thick stream of ghosts poured out from the pages of the books, a heavy rustling and intense damp chill filled the entire room. The gush was so thick that it was a white opaque so thick that it was nearly blinding to look at. Screams of betrayal and cries of the undead filled the room, scattering the frightened little ones. Nico had one thought in his mind: to make all of this stop, to take back Camp Nyx and show the Romans that they were strong enough to hold their own. Go, He thought. Protect the camp. 

Sad, beautiful women jettisoned across the night fields, glowing like fallen stars in the moonless night. Romans guarding the new border fell back in fear, being forced back by a wave of sad ghosts. They destroyed the battlements and carried other romans that didn't get out of their way fast enough. Nico followed them, his mind above his body now, watching as they secured Camp Nyx's perimeter, the original one. It was beautiful. 

And then the spell hit. 

Nico's strength wavered as it rushed out in a pulse through the spirits' energy, attacking the campers within the boundaries. 

Josiah, Josiah, Josiah, sadness, pain, loss, emptiness. Guilt. All of those who he killed for his own power staring down at him. Josiah forced everyone to feel the crushing weight of his own guilt. 

Damien lay curled up on the ground, Oleander weeping beside him. Thousands of years of emptiness and loneliness. This is all that you could come to expect at the end of this time. This is all that you could expect. If you've even had an inkling of desire to become like me, I pour all of my guilt into your body. This is what it means to be Succubus. Come to terms with your mistakes. This is what you wanted to become. 

Nico felt so bad for them, he could feel a reflection of the spell. Reilly was doing his best to stay upright and protect Nico's mind, but he was feeling the effect of the spell pretty strongly. Lysander was crying, tears streaming down his face, Oleander seemed to have passed out. Damien was clutching onto Adder in desperation who was trying to console his brother. Sean was crying as well, making Nico's burden heavier and lighter with his loss of focus. Maybe it wasn't fair. They were just children, scared of the world they'd been given and desperate for a shortcut. They're children but they were making a decision that would destroy their lives. They should know what they were getting into.   
Laila had crawled blindly towards Reilly and clutched onto his leg. Nico saw a flash of her mind. She was back in that trailer home, her mother grabbing her by her hair. Oleander was being protected by a doppleganger from a man with a snaggletooth and a knife. Sean was crying alone in his bedroom, begging the voices to stop. They all had their nightmares, their deepest fears. But they could grow from their fears instead of being crushed by them. 

And then Nieva was there next to Nico, smiling at him gently as they watched the scene from above. 

"What are you doing here?" Nico asked anxiously. "I didn't mess up, did I?"

"No, dumbass, you just forgot to take off the crystal before you opened the Books." She crossed her legs in midair. "I saw you guys look into my head."   
Nico nodded. She sighed. "I guess it couldn't be helped. I was sick. It couldn't be helped." 

"You're wrong, Nieva. If you would've told us, we could've helped you. We can upend time, magic can even turn someone immortal. We can turn your powers into something safe. We could've helped you." 

Nieva bit her lip and shrugged. "Yeah, maybe. I wasn't able to think right. Josiah knew that I wanted to kill myself for a while and talked me out of it countless times. I think... The only way he knew to save me was to be taken out of Tartarus. I'm sorry that I--"

Nico shook his head. "Don't apologize." He took a breath in and calmed himself. The ghosts under his command swayed with his calm. "But this showed me something. We have to go and find your brothers and sisters. If medicine can't help them, then it's our duty to figure out how to help them. I... I don't want anyone to feel how you did. You were so alone, you felt so isolated--"

"Nico, my brothers and sisters are dangerous. I know that if I'm dangerous, they must be... they may affect the campers--"

"We'll bring them to a separate camp first where Reilly can study the type of magic that comes off of them. We'll learn how to protect the campers and bring them to Camp Nyx as soon as possible. There's no reason we should isolate our brothers and sisters because we don't understand them. We have to do right by them where we couldn't by you."   
Nieva's eyes welled up with tears and she turned away, as though trying to hide them from Nico. 

"Dammit, you're good." She wiped her nose. "You're really something, Nico, you know that? Good as hell and more powerful than is really even necessary."   
Nico smiled. "Well, I didn't want to disappoint you." 

She shook her head and reached out for his hand. Nico slipped his hand into hers. She dipped in and kissed him briefly on the lips. Nico's eyes were wide, but he smiled. 

"You're everything we could've hoped for." Nieva said quietly. "Thank you, so much."   
Nico nodded, squeezing her ghostly hand with his. She sighed. "I think the Praetors are trying to contact you." She said. "You have the power to call off Josiah's spell, but these women are yours to control, Ghost King." 

Nico nodded. It was just controlling them right out of the gate that was difficult. Not they were sedated, the ghosts were easier to control. He grabbed hold of Nieva's soul and pulled them both down back into the dining hall of Camp Nyx. Nico merged himself back together with his mind, slipping his hand from Sean's and shrugging off Jason's grasp. Reilly and Sean were unaware of Nico's movements, they were too engrossed in the spell that was deconstructing them with guilt. 

"N-Nico?" Jason asked. Nico turned and looked at him, smiling sheepishly. 

"I keep worrying you, don't I? That's not fair. Don't worry, I think I'm done worrying you for a while." Nico felt in control of the moment. He created a phantom leg and slipped the sheets off of him. He walked to the middle of the room where campers were confused and cult members were in agony. He rose his hand and the spell lifted. The crying died down and Nico summoned darkness and spoke through it like a window. Reyna and Frank sitting at a fold-out table in a tent somewhere in the forest. 

"I request an audience with the Praetors of New Rome." Nico asked calmly. 

Reyna stood at once, masking her shock. 

"And whom do you represent?" 

"I represent the campers here at Camp Nyx. I like to call myself an ambassador." 

Reyna crossed her arms. "This is not a conflict that you can settle with simple words, you understand." 

"It took me a few days, but as you may have noticed, I acquired some backup." Nico sighed. "I'd like to call a peace treaty in which we call off the fighting. We should have a meeting of leaders and a discussion, violence won't settle these differences."

"You forget easily, Nico. This started by the practice of dark magic that resulted in the death of my soldiers. We can't let something like that go unchecked. If you're harboring the guilty parties, then you're just as guilty. We can't treat something like this lightly, and even if we are outnumbered by your army, we will fight with what we have to ensure justice is brought." 

"What if the guilty comes forward and gives themselves up," Damien said, holding his shoulder and standing up from the ground.   
Reyna frowned. "Why wasn't that done immediately then?"

"Because... most of the camp didn't know who the guilty parties were, and the only way you would be able to find out was to take us all into custody, am I right?" Damien asked, standing up straighter. 

"We would assimilate your Camp as our territory and try you under the law of New Rome. Everyone would be interrogated and tried."   
"But if the guilty party came forward?" Damien insisted. "If we kept our perimeter and you just took the ones that started the attack on New Rome?"

"D-Damien!" Adder said, crying, pulling on his pant leg. "Stop! You don't know what--!" 

Reyna's face was stoic as ever. "The penalty for murder is death." 

"No!" Adder said, standing in front of Damien. "Please don't! He didn't-- I-- _Please_ \--!" 

"Adder," Nico said, resting a hand on his shoulder. Adder looked back at Nico, shaking his head. Damien nodded. 

"It was me. I was one of those who summoned the dark magic that killed your soldiers." 

"Damien, _please! Please_ \--"

Reyna nodded. "We still have to do some investigating, I really don't believe that one person alone--"

"I was there as well." Oleander stood. Nico's lips parted, his eyes wide. Guilt was a powerful thing if it made Oleander confess. 

"No, Oleander..." Lysander said deeply, shaking his head. "Don't you dare. Don't you even _dare_ \--"

"Everyone else who was involved was killed in that blast." Oleander spoke over Lysander. "We are the leaders of what was once known as the Cult of Succubus. We carry the responsibility of coersing these children to experiment. We don't--" She sighed, shuddering. "They are innocent. We are guilty." 

"No," Lysander cried. "Please, Laila, stop her, stop her--"

"If we give ourselves up and completely disband the cult, will you call off this attack and stop the violence?" 

Reyna looked over at Frank for a moment and then turned back and nodded. Nico's heart swelled. That was it. That was what would stop the fighting. 

"No!" Lysander cried, trying to leave the bed. Reilly was holding him down, burying his face in Lysander's chest. "No, no, Ollie, please! Please, let's run away! You can't-- you can't leave me! Please!" 

She turned around and shook her head. "I'm too deep in this, Lysander, look at me." She rose her ancient-looking hands and closed her translucent eyelids. "I'm a monster. You know what I've done." 

"Please... Please, Ollie, please..." Lysander cried. "I can't live without you, I tried to save you, I tried--"

"And I love you for that, Ly, I really do. I'm sorry I didn't listen to you." 

Damien knelt down next to Adder who had gone numb and was reduced to staring. 

"I've been dead to you for a while anyway, isn't that right?" Damien tried to laugh. Adder frowned and slapped him in the face. Damien's head fell and he nodded. He knew he deserved that. "I'm sorry I haven't been someone you could look up to. I... I lost my way. I think we all did, when we started seeing what we thought Succubus could mean for us. We didn't think about the reality of living after that. We just... we thought about the possibility. We avoided the guilt as long as we possibly could instead of facing it. You're stronger than I ever was, Adder." Damien kissed his forehead. "I love you."

"I love you too, dummy," Adder whispered, tears falling down his cheeks. He hugged Damien tightly before Oleander touched his shoulder lightly. He stood up, his full height. They straightened themselves with dignity before walking through the shadow window. It swallowed them up, leaving the room yawning with its silence. Lysander was squeezing his fists tightly, his eyes red with tears. Adder was silent and sitting at the end of a bed. 

"What made them own up to their actions so quickly?" Jason asked, walking up behind Nico. Nico pursed his lips. He had a peek into their minds for a brief second and shared their emotions. 

"This whole time, they just wanted to protect the kids that they were. They just wanted to protect the kids that came under them, give them the tools to protect themselves as well. They knew that what they were doing was wrong, but they were too angry and scared to admit it. That's how it goes." Nico swallowed. "They're leaders through and through." 

Adder stood up and ran out of the room after Nico finished his thought. 

"It's... it seems harsh." 

"Guilt is a strong emotion, you know. It was the perfect thing for Josiah to choose." 

"So holding these ghosts is easy for you to do now?" Jason asked. Nico smiled and shook his head. 

"I'm probably going to try and pull them back into this book and have Thanatos sort it out. It's going to be nearly impossible, but I want to try and save as many of these women as I can. That's why Josiah chose me. That's why he chose Reilly."

"And Nieva?" 

"He chose her because he loved her." Nico said, walking back over to the bed. The Phantom limb would disappear once he pulled the ghosts back into the Books of Rebirth, but he knew he had to try. They were calm now, it wouldn't be too hard to get them back inside. Sean was sitting weakly by the side of the bed, his eyes glossy with tears. He was still feeling heavy guilt, his face hidden from Nico's in shame. 

"I just wanted to help you, I just wanted to meet you," he whispered. "I'm-- I'm sorry--"  
Nico kissed Sean's forehead and he looked up in surprise, blushing as he did so.

"Thank you, Sean. You helped me so much," Nico's eyes glowed moon-bright as he focused his energy into the books and called the ghosts to him. They obeyed him, siphoning themselves back into the Books, a reverse geyser of souls. Not all of them wanted to be crammed back within the pages and a few tried to pull away, but Nico was able to put them back where they came from. 

The phantom leg disappeared and Jason was there, ready to catch him. Nico laughed as Jason helped him back into his bed. He hadn't even noticed Jason, always standing there, ready to help at the instant it was needed. Jason was there to clean up his wounds and wipe a tear from his eye. To hold him during a nightmare or listen to his stories. Fuck he loved Jason Grace. He adored him, and it went beyond romantic. Jason tucked him back into bed and wrapped his own belt around the books and placed it on the chair beside the bed. He took the necklace that was Nieva from around Nico's neck and placed it on top of the books. The little cot was a twin, but Jason stepped out of his shoes and nudged Nico aside and slipped into the bed.

"So," Jason said, sighing, attempting a smile as Nico rose his eyebrows in surprise. "Is everything calmed down enough? Do you think things are pretty much over?" 

"Well... there's still the trial and the appeal... and I bet you'll be arrested on the spot... but yeah." Nico leaned in and kissed Jason before closing his eyes. "I think everything is pretty much over." Even though he said the words, it didn't really feel like it.

Jason wrapped his arms around Nico as Nico curled into his embrace. "Good." Jason whispered, kissing the top of his head. "Welcome home." 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> im the princette of pacing lol! sike ugh im so sorry you have to read this bilge


	25. Chapter 25

"I can't believe we missed all this fun!" Leo pouted, looking around the dining hall of Camp Nyx. It was a week and a half after the battle and the dining hall had been put back to normal, thanks to Reilly and Sera's quick work. Percy, Annabeth, Leo, and Piper had shown up after a certain amount of days as determined by Reilly. They had heard about the conflict, but they weren't able to come over and show support of either side because it would start all this crappy politics that Reilly wasn't about to deal with. Nico rolled in and out of rooms in his wheelchair, doing his best to help clean up the destroyed rooms. He wished Hazel could visit, but it was still a diplomatic nightmare for her to drop by.  
New Rome had gone easy on them and decided that harshly punishing just the leader of the Cult would be enough of a message. Damien was sentenced to death while Oleander was sentenced to life in prison. Camp Nyx was now considered its own independent republic, similar to Camp Half-Blood, and Reilly was its official ambassador, as Percy was Camp Half-Blood's. 

Jason was indeed arrested for treason, and sentenced to 2 months house arrest-- a very, very lenient punishment for the crime of treason. The courts seemed to show sympathy on him because of his history with authority over them. Nico made sure to Iris message him every night before going to bed, but he was needed there at Camp to help clean up and get everything set together. 

"I wasn't here for most of the fun either, Leo," Nico said, wheeling himself into the next room and pushing the broom. "Most of it was just me screaming, to be honest." 

"I heard that not all of that screaming was bad," Leo said, wiggling his eyebrows at Reilly. Nico flushed. Somehow his casual friends knowing about his and Reilly's sexual encounters was even more embarrassing.

"Shut up, Valdez. It wasn't like that." 

"Whatever man, you've got to tell me more about it, anyway." Leo said, helping push some of the overturned bookshelves right side up. "What I wouldn't give to sleep with someone like him." 

"You could probably just ask him, you know." Nico snorted. "It's not like he actually has high expectations."  
Leo's eyes brightened. "A cutie with low expectations? That's exactly my type!" 

Nico whacked Leo on the head with the end of the broom and Leo laughed. Makoto slid into the room quietly as ever and spoke gently.

"Um.. Nico?" 

Leo jumped about a mile and a half which was a huge over reaction in Nico's opinion. Leo may not be as attentive to the subtle motions that the Campers had here, but he'd get used to it after a while. 

"Yes, Makoto?" 

"Uh... Could you... could you introduce me to your friends? To Jackson and... and Chase? I mean, I've read about them, I've heard about them in stories but--"  
Leo combed his fingers through his hair and straightened his shirt, holding out his hand. "Hi I'm Leo Valdez, one of the Seven of the prophecy, it's nice to meet you." 

She frowned at him, looking from his hand to his face. 

"Okay...?" She raised an amused eyebrow. "If you think I'm going to shake your hair grease hand, you should think again." 

Leo's eyes rolled but he wasn't disheartened. He picked up the broom and started pushing woodchips across the floor. 

"It's a shame, people don't recognize fame when they see it..." 

"Sure Makoto, I'll introduce you to Annabeth and Percy. I think you'll really like Annabeth, actually."

Makoto flushed deeper red than Nico had ever seen her, and he realized he didn't know Makoto's sexuality. He rose his eyebrows at her. 

"Hioki, do you have a crush?" 

She crossed her arms and flushed even deeper. "No! I just really respect her! Don't go saying that to them, I just want to talk!" 

Nico smiled and shrugged. "They're pretty married anyway. Come on, I'll bring you to them." Nico rolled his wheelchair to the fireplace in the center of the room where Annabeth was making lunch for kids until the kitchen could be remade. Percy was lounging and talking to her affectionately. They waved as Nico approached with Makoto half in shadows as they approached. 

"Stop that," Nico nudged her. "Hey guys, this is my friend Makoto Hioki. She's one of the directors here. She guards the borders and trains the hellhounds here." 

"Hello," Annabeth said, extending her hand. Makoto took it quickly and shook it. "It's nice to meet you." 

"It's-- It's nice to meet you too. I--" She closed her eyes and tried to compose herself. "I really admire your battle skills, I've heard about it and, and I even saw you in a couple of dreams that Laura shared when the Battle for Manhattan was going down... and I just-- You have a really lovely fighting style and you're-- you're just very-- I admire--"

Annabeth smiled and laughed. "I've heard a bit about you too. You fight with a spear, right? I'm not so good at long range weapons. I'd love to catch a few pointers." 

Makoto looked like she could die at Annabeth's words. Annabeth pulled her aside and they began to talk about battle tactics and Percy and Nico were left alone in a bit of a comfortable silence. Nico watched as lunch was served, all of the little kids kicking their legs with content, something that was almost stolen from them a week earlier. 

"Welcome to the 'I saved all these people and now what' club," Percy joked sitting down in a chair beside his wheelchair. 

"It feels almost... like it's not even real." Nico said. "Like it's all going to crumble in a matter of seconds and that everything I worked for will be for nothing."

Percy waved his hand. "It feels like that every time. Danger is always right around the corner, and you can't stop it for good. What you did is you protected this. This moment right here of peace and happiness, the moment that everyone who was fighting was yearning for." Percy leaned back, his hands behind his head. He breathed in and exhaled slowly. "It's a good moment, it really is. And it's yours, Nico. You've earned it." 

"Yeah, earned this wheelchair and tirelessly cleaning up the camp."

"What do you think Half-Blood is here for? When I heard that the place was destroyed, I knew that you'd be working yourself to death to make everything back the way it was. We're here to relieve you of your duties. Go to New Rome and be with Jason. You know you two earn some down time." 

Nico flushed and shook his head. "I don't... I'm kind of fucked up? I mean not mentally, not yet. Tartarus was hard for me, but I had someone to share it with, so it wasn't an entire lone nightmare. But... I..." 

"You're worried about your leg. How Jason will see it." 

"I hate looking down and seeing that stump." Nico said, his eyes far away. "I'm not the same person anymore. I'm only part of the person. When I was in Tartarus, Melinoe said that I had to trade my leg for Jason, because otherwise the venom would kill me. But... I sort of felt like I don't get either." 

Percy sighed dramatically and leaned forward. "Look, alright. It doesn't matter what you look like. Not even a little bit. Jason thinks the sun shines out of your ass and that is that. Period. Full stop. Nothing you can do is going to change that. You think losing a leg is going to stop him from loving you? You better try harder than that, Nico. I bet that stupid stump you hate so much is going to be something he worships about you. Not like... in that weird sexual fetish way. But like in a 'this is the reason you're here' way. Like, 'you think this part of you is ugly, but I think every part of you is beautiful' kind of way." Percy said nudging Nico's shoulder. Nico felt a ghost of a shiver of panic, but he had learned to press those down. Nico did feel a little better. What Percy was saying reminded him of some of the things Reilly had taught him. From here it didn't look like he could ever grow to love himself like this. But with a little time and a little bit of Jason's help, he knew that he would be able to love himself as well. 

Nico rolled back into the room he had left Leo in and saw Sera putting flowers in Leo's hair and chatting happily to him about gender theory. 

"Hello, Nico!" Seraphim said happily, twisting daisies into a circlet. "I met your friend Leo! He's very sweet." 

Leo was staring at Sera with a dreamy look on his face, punch drunk with Sera's unbridled happiness at the current peace. 

"Are you trying to convince him to abandon being cisgender, Sera?" 

Sera rolled their eyes. "He asked me first!" They said chuckling. 

"It's probably the coolest thing I've ever seen," Leo said, turning to Nico seriously. "I didn't even know you didn't have to pick a gender! Like, that's so cool! You could just not be one." Sera nodded happily. "That would explain so many things..." 

Nico smiled and rolled out of the room as Leo turned back to Sera to ask more questions. Reilly was out with Laura and a satyr from Camp Half-Blood looking for children of Mania that were locked away somewhere. Mania's children weren't exactly easy to find, as Mania never stopped by Matthaius to leave a list of her possible children. Reilly was determined to gather a pool of her children and find a way to magically make their minds silent, to control their powers. Their powers were frightening, but that wasn't a reason to exclude them from a camp at which they truly belonged.

Nieva was salvaged completely from the rose quartz and chose to be reborn almost immediately. Nico wasn't able to visit her again. It was alright though, he definitely thought that she had a stressful enough life and to sit and reflect on such things wasn't exactly something she needed. Her quartz was placed in the center of the 'P' in the archway that said "Camp Nyx". Reilly thought she deserved a place there. As for the ghosts in the Books of Rebirth, some of them were able to be salvaged as whole souls but most of them were only parts that became docile ghosts. When they were all by Matthaius, the books of rebirth burned completely into ash, destroying with it the only knowledge of becoming a monster like Succubus.

Sean came out and rested his chin on Nico's lap as Nico watched the sunset and Nico smiled down at him, touching the brown face with his hand. Sean closed his eyes and leaned into Nico's touch. He seemed tired more than anything. Leo came up behind Nico and leaned on his shoulders. 

"Orange is my favorite color, probably." He said. 

Nico shrugged. "It's okay. I like the colors on the outside of the orange," Nico said, pointing to the sky. "The sorta purples and the pinks. Those ones are kind of gentle. I like those ones." 

Leo laughed softly, "Of course you would." He nudged Nico and pointed down to the lake behind the camp. "Race you there?" 

Nico snorted. "Maybe when you make me a bionic wheelchair or something. But until then, friend, I'm not racing anyone." 

Leo grinned and dropped his backpack. He dug into it much deeper than he should be able to and pulled out a beautiful, realistic, prosthetic leg. Nico stared at it in awe. It was even as hairy as he was. 

"What..." 

"If you didn't think I heard about your lost leg and immediately took up that chance to make you a badass robot version, you don't know me at all." Leo put the thing down, hip-height and started to point out some of its functions. He turned it back and forth from cool-roboty looking to realistic-looking. He was saying things but Nico wasn't able to listen. He leaned forward in his wheelchair and attacked Leo with a hug. Leo laughed, the leg clattering down, Sean falling to the floor with a smile. 

"You're-- You're so--"

"Nah, don't thank me. I make things, it's what I do. Also, I'm gonna need you to put a good word in for me with the people here. I know they need a math teacher and I'm not exactly a child of the Underworld but I was thinking... you know... in the downtime...." 

"I'll let them know, I'll let them know." Nico said, unable to stop grinning. Sean helped him back in his chair before giving Nico a small wave and turning around to go back inside, leaving Leo and Nico outside. Nico looked at the leg lying on the ground, looked at the lake and smiled back at Leo. 

"You know what?" Nico asked. Leo cocked his head, listening. "I'll race you there." He turned his wheelchair and rolled his way as fast as he could across the lands. Leo barked a laugh and struggled to keep up. Nico would have time to try the prosthetic leg on later. He liked who he was right now, in this moment. As he heard Leo closing in behind him, laughing loudly, he wouldn't change a single thing about himself. And that meant the world.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Finale!! possibly. I've been debating on an epilogue that is a completely gratuitous sex scene, because I realized that I was able to do that, and it was the first time in quite a bit in these fics that non-plot advancing sex was possible. Sex for pleasure???? What that??? what????
> 
> No but seriously, if you did read this whole fic with all of its OCs and far-fetched fiction ideas and you enjoyed it, I thank you from the bottom of my heart. It means the world to me that you tolerated it enough to read all the way through. I know the pacing was awful and I disappeared for like 6 months, but that's why I write fanfiction, to grow. I add OCs because I knew that this idea wouldn't have been possible without new characters. So seriously, thank you if you liked it or even if you thought it was okay! Thank you all so much!


End file.
